When The Shadows Began To Dance

by Yamaya Cruz

  “Juan, Juan, I am going to kick your ass if I see you hit your brother like that again. “Now calm down and get outside.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Chapter Seventeen

  I think that this day was one of the longest of my life. We patrolled around town like police officers. Then, we parked almost half of the night like we were on a stakeout. I was getting really tired. I had never seen Nico before and had no idea what he looked like. Whenever I asked Maria to give me a brief description, she would say, you’ll know him when you see him. We must have waited in the car for hours.

  “I got your ass.” Maria finally said. I looked around trying to spot a thin dark skin man, but all I saw was an incredibly attractive woman.

  “That’s the puta that Nico’s fucking,” she spat, putting out her cigarette in the ashtray.

  “Come on,” she said as she hurriedly got out of the car. We trailed behind the woman and stopped when we watched her walked into a three-story apartment building.

  “Luisa, you got to go up there.” Maria said in a loud whisper.

  “What?” I said. I was terrified and I would have rather her slit my wrist than ask me to walk into that building.

  “Luisa, she knows me. But if she sees you, she’ll never see me coming,” she said with a wink.

  “Maria, I can’t go up there. That building looks—” “Like a dope-house.” Maria said.

  “No…. That’s not what I was going to say.”

  “Listen Chica, you’re in a big city now and seeing dope fiends and bums is just part of the damn décor. Get used to it,” she snapped.

  I looked down at my feet again. I was getting really cold. I was wearing basically everything that I owned, and I was still freezing. My teeth began to chatter.

  “Look, you’re cold. This will give you a chance to get warm. All you got to do is walk in and ask for Nico,” she said.

  “That’s all I have to do?” I asked.

  Well, ask for him and get his black ass to come outside so I can knock some sense into him.” she said shaking her fist.

  “Maria, I don’t know how I am going to do that.”

  “Hay Bendita, Luisa! Just try. I need your help Chica. We can’t go back home without him. We have nothing without him,” she said, almost whining.

  “Okay. Okay. I am going in now.”

  I opened the door and walked into the building. It was incredibly warm. I made my way up the stairway, and was startled when a hand reached up and grabbed my ankle. Suddenly, a man emerged from beneath a pile of smelly trash bags.

  “You got any change.” He mumbled, smacking his gums.

  “No. No. Get off me!” I yelled. The man was repulsive and his touch made me feel like I had been bitten by a subway rat.

  “Let me lick you then,” he said. “What?

  “Let me lick you,” he repeated while sitting upright, sticking out his tongue, like a frog about to snare its prey.

  “Get away from me.” I yelled, disgusted.

  I raced up the stairs in an attempt to escape from him. I had the chills, like I had a thousand roaches crawling over me. I tried to shake them off as I continued down the corridor. I walked to the end, when I realized that I had passed room 319. I retraced my steps and tapped on the door lightly.

  “Who is it?” someone from the other side yelled. “Luisa.”

  “Who?”

  “Luisa.” I yelled a little louder.

  “What do you want?” The voice said. “I want to talk to Nico.”

  “He ain’t here.”

  I sighed. A part of me was relieved that I didn’t have to meet Nico and the other part couldn’t wait to leave the building. But I paused and realized that I couldn’t go back down with nothing. I stood and thought for a quick second about what to do next.

  I knocked on the door again.

  “WHAT!”

  “I really need to speak to him,” I said with my voice quivering. “You see, I need him to take care of something for me. I have money,” I added as a final touch.

  The door peeled open and a rubia who was in her twenties was standing behind it. I was taken aback by her beauty and candidness. She was wearing a sheer white night gown with fancy underwear underneath it. She stared at me for a long time before she pulled me into the room.

  It was smoky and took my eyes a while to adjust to the lighting in the room. I felt like I had entered into a whole other world, where some crazy scientist carried out all of his freak experiments. The people in the room looked like the walking dead. I squinted and made out the image of a woman, or a man lying on the sofa. Her limbs were as thin as broomsticks and his/her hair was matted like a dirty mop. Rivulets of salvia dripped out of its mouth, it kept nodding its head up and down, mumbling to itself.

  I felt a pair of eyes on me. Just eyes. Then I focused in on this zombie like creature that was coming toward me. He walked with a slight limp. He stopped and adjusted the band that was tied around his arm before he continued to walk forward. I felt like I had just walked into a zombie’s den. I tried to turn around to escape, to get the fuck out of this apartment building when the woman spoke to me again.

  “How much money you got?” she asked. Her lipstick was smudged and stained her teeth.

  “Three hundred dollars.” I was a terrible liar. I didn’t have much practice living with a nun for thirteen years. My legs began to quiver.

  “Show it to me,” she said moving toward me and holding out her hand. I swallowed a knot of fear. I didn’t know what to do. I closed my eyes and jumped when I heard a loud thud. I turned around and saw that the apartment door had been flung open with so much force that it cracked the drywall. Maria was standing in the doorway, fuming like a battered beast.

  “Get out of here.” Her words rumbled through the air like thunder. Quickly, I rushed past her, out the door and into the hallway. I didn’t want to be anywhere near Maria in this state. I knew that she had worked herself into a frenzy. Her rage would be like the wild winds of a tornado, twisting and turning until it killed everything in sight. I ran down the stairs, lost my footing and slid on my behind to the bottom landing. I looked up the stairway. I couldn’t see anything and all I could hear was bodies tumbling, knocking into walls, overturning tables.

  “Mi Amor, are you okay?” The smelly nasty homeless man was gone. In his place was a man in his early forties, distinguished, clean-shaven, and incredibly suave. He reached out his hand and helped me up.

  “You speak Spanish?” I asked.

  “Of course, I am from Old San Juan—

  “Puerto Rico.” I exclaimed.

  “Te cagaste del miedo,” he said with his eyes sparkling.

  I had never been so scared before in my entire life. I laughed because I needed to release all of the tension that had built up inside of me. Nelly, I have to admit that he wasn’t the best looking man in the world. But living with Sister Abigail for thirteen years was like serving a prison sentence, no sex, no fun, and no men. There was something about him. He knew exactly what to say to me, and he made me feel good.

  “Leaving the party early?” he joked, raising an eyebrow.

  I giggled covering my mouth, trying to ignore the ruckus that was coming from the top of the stairs.

  “Maria, leave her alone.”

  “No! I am going to kill the bitch,” she screamed.

  He looked up to the top of the landing and then back at me. He smiled.

  “Maria always knew how to throw a party,” he said. “Or how to ruin one.” I added.

  “Let me guess. She’s looking for Nico again?” “Yes, how did you know?”

  “She’s out looking for him every damn week,” he said. “Oh.” I looked down at my feet. I felt like a fool.

  “Did she drag you into this?” He asked.

  I looked away and shook my head.

  “Oh no, she’s gone way too far now,” he said shaking his head in disbelief.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I said timidly. I was totally lost
and felt like I needed a friend, someone to confide in, and someone to trust.

  “Come with me,” he said.

  I hesitated. Sister Abigail had told me that Spanish men were feigns for lust. They were like vampires with a thirst that could never be quenched.

  “I’m not going to do anything to hurt you. I just want to walk you outside to this phone booth so you can call home,” he said.

  I looked down at my hands and realized that I couldn’t go back home. I had gone down the wrong path and there was no turning back. A part of me wanted to believe in Maria. Another part, just wanted to ball up and disappear forever.

  “Is there something wrong?” He asked with genuine concern. I shook my head and tried not to cry. “I don’t have a home.” I said.

  “Okay, don’t cry, come with me,” he said grabbing my hand. “No, I can’t I have to wait for Maria,” I said.

  “I just want you to be able to weigh your options, and if we come back and Maria’s not here. I’ll take you home, promise,” he said.

  “You know where she lives?” I asked. I was just a little skeptical.

  “I know everyone in that whole neighborhood. Roberto, the twins, little Julio,” he said.

  “You do?” I asked.

  “Yes, they’re my family,” he said smiling.

  “I am sorry, but I didn’t catch your name,” I said. He took my hands in his, looked me deep in the eyes before he replied. “Alijondro. Alijondro Reyes,” he said smiling.

  Alijondro Reyes, I whispered to myself. There was a brief rush of excitement that exploded through my body and reddened my face. I felt like I was the damsel in distress and Alijondro was my Spanish night in armor. He had come, almost out of nowhere to save me from a dodgy and perilous city. At that very moment, I knew that he had worked his charm on me.

  He ordered me coffee and a full dinner. I devoured it in less than ten minutes, realizing that I hadn’t eaten anything all day. I was surprised of how rich the food tasted.

  “Hungry?” He asked.

  I shook my head and wiped my mouth with my napkin. Alijondro plucked a single cigarette from its package and placed it into his mouth. He offered me one and I decided to try it. It felt weird in my mouth. He leaned over to light it for me, and I remembered to inhale deeply. My chest burned like a smoky chimney. I wanted to cough, but instead, I swallowed, and my saliva tasted like the muck from chewed up snuff. I wanted to spit it out, like a backwoods sailor. But I needed to be mindful of my manners. Instead, I just took a long sip of water.

  I looked over and saw Alijondro staring at me.

  “You’re so sweet and innocent,” he said, almost lovingly. “I am?”

  “Yeah. There ain’t too many chicas like you in this town,” he said leaning back in his chair.

  “I don’t really think that’s true,” I said.

  “Well, they might come here sweet and innocent, but this city changes people,” he said.

  “Is that what happened to Maria?” I asked.

  “That’s what happens to everybody,” he said while resting his arm against an empty headrest.

  “It happens because everybody puts on an act. They buried all this misery inside of them, and it piles up like a toilet with a bunch of logs of shit,” he said, leaning over to take a sip of water.

  Okay, now he was being incredibly charming. I smiled widely, trying to mask my discomfort. He continued, staring at the water while turning it gently in his hands.

  “Then everybody comes to a point where they got to use it or flush it.”

  “How would you use something like that?” I asked, just a little disgusted. I really didn’t think that this was proper dinner conversation.

  “Nobody wants to be trapped in a room with a toilet full of shit. They’re repulsed by it. Like it’s something that didn’t come out of them.”

  “Can we please change the subject?” I asked.

  “The smell alone is repugnant and has power to keep the meanest motherfucker away, and yet, it attracts some of the nastiest fucking rodents and insects in the world,” he said ignoring me.

  I cleared my throat to remind him that I was a lady and was not receptive to this kind of talk.

  “But here’s the thing, shit has power too. You can put it in the ground, use it as fertilizer so it can grow new life. Now, that shit’s power,” he said chuckling and taken a long drag from his cigarette. He stopped when he realized that I wasn’t laughing.

  “I’m sorry, where are my manners? Sometimes I get a little carried away. It happens when you work in a car shop all day,” he said.

  “You’re a mechanic?” I asked.

  “Yes, for the last five years, that’s how I know Maria. I am always working on her piece of shit wagon.” We both laughed.

  “See, I knew that I could change the conversation and win you over again,” he said with a wink.

  “So have you thought about what you’re going to do?” he asked.

  I placed the napkin on my plate and looked down at my hands.

  “I’m going to go back and find Maria,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. I was a little concerned. I had been gone for a while and was secretly hoping that Maria was back at the apartment building, waiting for me. The last thing that I wanted was for him to drive me back home. I didn’t know much about men, but I knew that it was best to take things slow. It was also good to not come off as being desperate. But my insides were tingling, and I realized that this was the first time that I felt any kind of real emotion. I was excited, and yet, I knew I needed to proceed with caution.

  He looked at his watch.

  “It’s late. I can’t let you walk around this neighborhood by yourself.”

  “No. You really don’t need to do that.”

  “I insist. Knowing Maria she probably drove home drunk and is passed out on her sofa,” he said, taken out a couple of dollars out his pocket and laying them on the table to pay the bill.

  “I think that I am going to have to drive you home,” he continued, smiling.

  I followed him back into the old apartment building. It was completely empty.

  “Where did everybody go?” I asked.

  “This building had been boarded up for some time now, squatters and drifters come here from time to time, but nobody stays,” he said.

  “But Maria said that this is where Nico lives,” I said.

  “Maria is crazy, especially for Nico. Nobody lives here,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

  I buried my head in my hands. I really didn’t know what to do. Should I let this strange man drive me home? Or should I attempt to try and call Maria? I had to admit that I was angered by the fact that she would just leave me in a strange city with no money and no way to get home. I wanted to believe that she had changed, that she wasn’t the person that Sister Abigail said she was. But she wasn’t making a very good case for herself.

  “Luisa, it’s not my place. But I feel like there’s something that you should know,” he said.

  “Oh really,” I said with my eyes tearing up. I knew what he was going to say.

  “Maria is a bruja, a damn good one, and she’s playing you. She does this shit to everybody,” he said.

  “Yeah. I was warned, but I was hoping that things would be different between her and me,” I said.

  He mumbled something under his breath. It was dark in the room and I am not sure if he was laughing or coughing. He wiped his hand with his mouth before he continued.

  “It has nothing to do with you. It’s just human nature. It’s a bruja’s job to sniff out weakness. So they can use it to their advantage,” he said.

  “But it’s different between us. She’s my mother,” I said with my voice shaking. “Naw, there’s no difference. If it’s not her, then it would be someone else.” “Alijondro, I am sorry, but you don’t know me.”

  He spun around and faced me. His eyes were wide with wicked black pupils.

  “You have no roots, no sense of security, no understan
ding of who you are. You’re flighty, anxious, detached, and ready to fuck any man who shows you any kind of attention,” he spat.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I protested backing away and huddling into a corner.

  “You’re afraid of your emotions because you can’t fucking control them. You’re like a drug fiend, totally dependent on others, sitting around doe-eyed and pitifully waiting for someone to give you a free hit,” he said grabbing my arm and forcing me to look at him.

  “Get off me,” I hissed.

  “If not, then why are you here, Luisa? Your gut is screaming that all of this shit is wrong. This is not you. This is not where you belong. But you stay, because you think that Maria is going to show you some love,” he said while releasing my arm.

  I bumped into the corner, slid down the wall, buried my head in my hands and began to weep. His words ate away at my very core, nicking off the façade that I had created for myself over the years. Every one of his words hit me like a stone, piercing off flesh like a slow form of execution. It was torture. Suddenly, I wished that I hadn’t left home. I would have much rather have stayed in Sister Abigail’s house, alone, keeping all of my emotions bottled up so no one could see them, so no bruja could use them against me.

  I felt a hand caressing my hair.

  “Oh Mi Amor. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just want you to be tough,” he said.

  I lifted my head and wipe my eyes. I never felt so alone before in my entire life.

  “You got to be tough, because in this world you either fuck or get fucked,” he said.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I said between my sobs. “Trust me,” he said.

  He lifted my chin up and looked me in the eye. Then he grabbed my hands and helped me to stand up again. “I can help you,” he said reassuringly.

  I broke down again, but this time I flung my arms around his shoulders and allowed him to hold me. I needed him. I needed some kind of human connection because I needed to feel something, anything to take away the emptiness that was inside of me.