A Crossworder's Delight

by Nero Blanc

  “Bravo,” Belle said with a pleased smile. “But please call me Belle. This is my husband, Rosco.”

  “I would have guessed that. News of your investigations does reach us in the NRC, but you’ve sure done a good job of keeping your mug out of the papers, Rosco. I somehow envisioned you as more of a bookish type, but you look like someone who can handle himself physically. Brawn and brain.” They shook hands. “Why don’t we step into the lounge. Most folks are having lunch right about now. We shouldn’t be disturbed there.”

  “We hate to make you miss your meal,” Belle said.

  “Heck, I don’t eat lunch.… Never have. A healthy breakfast and a solid dinner; that’s it for me. Lunch? Espresso and a cigar, and I save that for three in the afternoon when most folks are taking a nap.”

  Once in the lounge, Belle and Rosco sat together on a small tweedy couch while Charlie Chew chose a wing chair upholstered in the same nubby and clublike fabric.

  “So,” he said, “what’s all this about?”

  Rosco started. “A good friend of ours, Stanley Hatch—”

  “Stanley Hatch is still around?” Charlie said with a laugh and a knee slap. “That old dog must be a hundred if he’s a day. His son visits me once in a while. Young Stan, he’s called. Hasn’t been here in ages, though. Nice kid.”

  “Ah … actually, it’s the son I’m referring to,” Rosco said. He was about to add that young and kid might not be the optimal words to describe the current owner of Hatch’s Hardware, but Charlie had intuited that on his own.

  “Of course you are. I don’t know what I was thinking there for a moment … Funny how names stick with you. Young, for a middle-aged guy.… Okay, so this Stanley Hatch, who’s no longer as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as he once was, is a buddy of yours, and …?”

  “He told us that back in the late forties you were a member of VFW Post 85 in Newcastle,” Rosco continued. “And that a man by the name of Mike Marz had also joined?”

  “We were more than fellow members,” Charlie answered, his face losing some of its sparkle and his eyes misting slightly. “Mike and I fought side by side in Patton’s Third Army throughout the war. The whole shebang: North Africa, France, and right into Germany. We were buddies all the way through. Thick and thin. Right up to that damn hunting accident after we came home. That was a bad time all around, I can tell you. The community did what they could to help. I remember a neighbor lady in particular who befriended Mike’s widow … but it was tough; a young gal like that with two kids. I’m sure you know Mitch and Morgan. They own the inn now.”

  “Yes, we do,” Belle offered after a moment. “Actually, that’s why we’re here. We’re looking for someone who was close Mike, especially during the time following the war.”

  Charlie suddenly slumped in his chair. For a moment, it looked as though all the stuffing had been knocked out of him. “It’s about that darn painting, isn’t it?” he said in a muffled tone. “Rosco’s a PI. He’s been hired to find it. I should have figured that one out pronto.” He sighed deeply and seemed to settle even lower into his seat. After another long moment, he spoke again. “I did consider ignoring that letter I received in October, considered playing dumb or pretending I’d never gotten it … but at my age … well, I wanted to purge the incident from my life. I wanted to see everything returned to the rightful owner.…”

  Rosco and Belle hadn’t a clue what Charlie Chew meant, but they chose to remain silent as though his words were only corroborating information they’d already been supplied.

  “Am I right? The museum in Salzburg has put you on retainer to retrieve Mike’s painting?” Charlie asked Rosco; and without waiting for a reply followed it with, “Sure, that makes sense; the museum figures I’m ducking them, so they put a pro on the case.”

  Belle glanced at her husband, but he made no response other than to gaze steadily into Charlie Chew’s face.

  “I may be an old man, but I know which end is up. Why else would you set up an appointment to interview me? Have you seen it? The portrait, I mean?”

  “No. No, not yet,” Rosco said, which wasn’t technically a lie.

  “Silly question. Of course, you haven’t. From what the curator wrote me, I gather no one has set eyes on it for a long, long time.”

  “Actually,” Rosco said, clearing his throat and forging ahead with a spur-of-the-moment fib, “the curator in Salzburg didn’t supply a heck of a lot of information. There was a language problem, and that heavy Austrian accent … Well, I’m still not sure I have all the details that clearly in our mind. This is why we opted to come to you directly.”

  “Well, I promise you I did respond to the initial letter the museum sent back in October. And their follow-up letter only arrived here on Friday. That’s the first I realized things had gotten fouled up. Why my reply was never received on their end, I don’t know. Must’ve been lost in the mail, but I explained everything I knew. I really wanted to come clean about this entire affair. It’s gone on far too long.”

  “Since your correspondence to the curator was lost,” Belle joined in, keeping up the deception, “he asked us to locate you and get the entire story firsthand.”

  “She,” Charlie corrected. “The curator’s a woman.”

  “She, of course,” Belle covered with a quick smile. “I was thinking of her assistant, Herr Holtzelfritz. That’s who Rosco has been dealing with.”

  Rosco refrained from rolling his eyes and said, “Maybe you could outline your involvement in this, Mr. Chew?”

  “I … I just want to get it settled. That was my intention in October. I want everything to come out right.”

  “Everyone does, Mr. Chew,” was Belle’s quiet response.

  “It all goes back to the war … toward the end. Like I said, Mike Marz and I were in the same platoon, and as we moved into southwest Germany we came across a fortified bunker. It was loaded with artwork: paintings, marble and bronze sculptures, even some tapestries. We had no idea the pieces had been moved there from Austria. Stolen, actually … Anyway, there were these two smallish paintings, a matching set. We didn’t know how valuable they were. They were just nice pictures, pleasant souvenirs … One scene depicted a woman seated at the end of a rectangular table in an ornate parlor; in front of her was a fancy porcelain, hot-chocolate set. The other painting portrayed what looked to be her children; they were at the opposite end of the same table, anxiously waiting to be served their treat. Everyone was decked out in their finest.”

  “And you and Mike Marz decided to bring the two paintings home with you,” Rosco said, more as a statement than a question.

  “Yes. I’m certainly not proud of what we did, but we were younger, and … and we’d been through a lot, and somehow we just … well, we just grabbed them. We imagined the gesture keeping us bonded for life, like blood brothers. I kept the portrait of the mother—although I didn’t display it. Mike had the one of the kids.… It wasn’t until I needed to make a down payment on my first home, and discovered I could sell my painting for three thousand dollars—which was a princely sum back then—that we learned what we had.

  “Two genuine Henri-Paul Vénérers; mine was signed and dated 1760—making Vénérer a contemporary of Boucher, is what I was told.… The woman was Empress Maria Theresa of Austria; one of her children was none other than the five-year-old Marie Antoinette. And we all know what happened to her.… Needless to say, Mike was thrilled with my windfall. He planned to bring his portrait out of hiding and sell it, too, but then he was killed in that awful accident.…” Charlie released another heavy sigh, again pausing in troubled thought.

  “I’m glad my Vénérer finally ended up back in the museum it was originally looted from. Really, I am. And Mike’s should be there, too.… I know what we did was wrong, taking the pictures from that bunker … but after I’d sold mine, my career began to take off, and I didn’t want to risk a scandal for myself or my family.…” Charlie shook his head. “What I should have done was tell Mike’s
widow right away; selling the portrait would have helped her financially.… But she was an awfully proud lady. It would have really hurt her to know that her husband had taken something that didn’t belong to him, so I just … I just kept my trap shut, and left everything swept under the proverbial carpet.”

  “Until the museum recently acquired the painting of Maria Theresa, and decided to attempt to reunite her with her children?” Belle mused.

  “Yes. They traced the one painting back to me. I swear I responded to their letter back in October,” was the pensive reply. “I can’t understand why they never received it.”

  “We have good reason to believe that Mike hid the painting behind the framed Longfellow poem that hung in the inn,” Rosco said.

  “Oh, I outlined all that in my letter,” Charlie told him. “Everyone at the VFW post thought it was a huge joke that Mike clamped that old poem to the wall—like it was made of solid gold—but I knew better. I knew what was going on.”

  “So, all these years you were aware where the Vénérer was hidden?” Belle asked.

  The old man squinted and stared into space. “Well, Mike never told me for certain that that was the spot he’d chosen, although it didn’t take a brain trust to put two and two together.… I explained my suspicions in my response to the curator in October. I suggested she contact the Marz twins personally, but I asked her not to mention my name to the boys.” Charlie ran his fingers through his white hair and shook his head. “I’m glad this has been finally settled. It’s weighed on my conscience for sixty years.… I’d guess that painting’s worth an awful lot of money now—especially with the two together.… I’d like to go with you when you pull the poem off the wall. I’d like to see the picture one last time before it’s sent back to Austria … as a sort of memorial to Mike and what we went through together.”

  “There’s a problem with that, Mr. Chew,” Rosco said. “Someone’s already beaten us to the punch. The portrait was stolen this week.”

  Charlie sat in absolute silence as he absorbed the information.

  “Did you confide its location to anyone other than the curator?” Rosco continued. “Anyone in your family? Or an acquaintance here?”

  The old man made several small clicking sounds with his mouth, and then finally said, “No. No one. I wrote the curator, but that was it.”

  “A letter which he … er, she, never received,” Belle added.

  “Did you take your letter directly to the post office? Was it registered?” Rosco asked.

  “No. We leave all our correspondence at the front desk, and someone hands it off to—” Charlie paused once again. “Wait, you know what? I gave that letter to Reggie. He’s a nurse here. His wife, MaryJane, too. They’re terrific people, and genuine health nuts which is good for some of us. geezers … I remember asking Reggie to take it to the P.O. for me, because it was international mail and might require more postage than I’d affixed. I would have driven it over myself, but my grandson had borrowed my car for the Halloween weekend.”

  “I guess we should be talking to Reggie and MaryJane,” Rosco said, almost to himself.

  Charlie laughed. “What? You think they hijacked my letter?” He laughed again. “Reggie and MaryJane have been at the NRC for years. Besides teaching yoga and all that ‘good diet’ business, they handle our weekly entertainment. I hardly think they would do anything as outrageous as tampering with the mail, let alone stealing a painting.”

  “You never know.”

  “You’re barking up the wrong tree, there, Rosco,” Charlie continued, still chuckling. “Reg and MaryJane have this routine they do—Lord and Lady Battle-Axe, a couple of stuffy upper-class Brits who own a dilapidated castle near Cambridge. They have those accents down pat. It’s ten times funnier than any of those Brit-coms you see on TV.”

  Rosco smiled thinly. “I’ll bet it is. Actually, I have a strange feeling that I may have already caught part of their act.…”

  But Charlie wasn’t listening; instead he was pointing toward the hallway. “There’s Reggie now. Let me get him over here and have him do some of his comedy bit for you. He’ll have you in stitches.” Charlie Chew stood and called across the room. “Reggie! Hey, Reg, come on over here. I’ve got some people I’d like you to meet. And grab MaryJane while you’re at it.”

  Rosco walked to the door. “Mr. Towbler, I presume?”

  Christmas Current

  Melt together over low heat: ¾ cup 21-Across; 3 oz. 56-Across + 22-Down; ¼ 26-Across butter … then cool to lukewarm

  Lightly beat: 1 38-Across; 1/3 cup 16-Across; and 1 tsp. vanilla

  Stir the 38-Across mixture into the 22-Down mixture until blended

  Sift together: 1 cup cake flour; 1 cup 49-Down; ½ tsp. baking soda; a pinch of salt

  Rapidly beat the flour mixture into the 22-Down mixture until smooth

  Stir in ½ cup 34-Across; ¾ cup chopped pecans

  Pour batter into greased and floured 9-by-4-inch loaf pan

  Bake at 275 degrees for 45–55 minutes until firm but not completely dry

  Cool in pan on a cake rack for 20 minutes before removing

  This will serve 8–12

  Christmas, Current

  ACROSS

  1. Chessman

  6. Flap

  7. Corn center

  12. King of the fairies

  14. Everything

  15. Paddle

  16. MAMA’S DESSERT

  18. Zodiac sign

  19. Map; abbr.

  20. Petites; abbr.

  21. MAMA’S DESSERT

  24. Gift locale; apropos the tree

  26. MAMA’S DESSERT

  27. North or South follower

  28. Earthy color

  51. Quarrels

  34. MAMA’S DESSERT

  38. MAMA’S DESSERT

  39. 35-Down bubbles

  41. Surprised exclamation

  42. Grist

  45. Boy’s Christmas wish

  47. Miss Shearer of the Silents

  48. Steam

  49. Gulf of _____ in the Aegean

  52. Holiday news

  56. MAMA’S DESSERT

  59. Lyric poem

  61. Head of state; abbr.

  62. Lyric poem

  63. Badgering

  65. Swiss peak

  66. _____ & outs

  67. Shed

  68. Thing, in law

  69. 23-Down lang.

  70. Indian guitar

  DOWN

  1. Sailors

  2. Biggest blast

  3. North sea feeder

  4. Goof

  5. Highwaymen

  6. Chatter

  7. Herbert portrayer in “Great Expectations”

  8. Radio goof

  9. Ionian Island

  10. Like some breads

  11. Classification

  13. Lloyd, of “Captain Eddie”

  17. Slave leader Turner

  22. MAMA’S DESSERT

  23. Roman marketplaces

  25. Fisherman’s aid

  29. Slice

  30. Kingly letters

  31. Religious sch.

  32. Ben Hogan’s grp.

  33. Ten percenter; abbr.

  35. Holiday quaff

  36. Calendar abbr.

  37. Daughter’s brother

  39. Christmas tree, often

  40. Butt

  43. Poetic plenty

  44. Attar

  45. Spans

  46. Big _____

  48. Perfect

  49. MAMA’S DESSERT

  50. Iguana relative

  51. Polite replies; abbr.

  53. Tavern

  54. Flash of light

  55. Mr. Claus

  57. Miss Millay

  58. Question

  60. Frankenstein’s assistant

  64. Lively, in France

  To download a PDF of this puzzle, please visit openroadmedia.com/nero-blanc-crosswords

  Seventeen

 
; WOW … so, Mr. Charleston Chew knew all about the pilfered painting? I could never keep a secret for sixty years. I mean, that’s a really, really, really long time.… And it makes him an accessory to a crime, I guess, too, doesn’t it?” E.T. was supposedly helping Belle prepare one of the crossword desserts as he spoke. In fact, what he was doing was scrutinizing the cookbook puzzles while munching away on some of the raw ingredients listed in “Christmas Current.”

  “It’s Mr. Charles Chew, not Charleston, E.T.” Belle chortled. “And if you don’t stop sneaking pecans and currants, I’m not going to have enough to make this cake for Ms. Leonetti’s holiday party.”

  “And I can go with you and Rosco? Like, really and truly? I’ve never been to a grown-up party before.”

  “If it’s okay at home, it’s fine with us.” When E.T. failed to respond, Belle pressed him. “You did ask your folks, didn’t you? The party’s tomorrow night.”

  “Sure … yeah … I got approval and everything.…”

  “Hmmm … You don’t sound very sure, E.T.”

  “Well, I am!”

  Belle studied the boy’s face, uncertain whether or not to believe him, but he stared back with such an enigmatic expression that she gave up the effort. “You know, Rosco and I don’t want to do anything that would upset your family,” she said after a long moment.

  His sole response was to shrug, as if suggesting that nothing would rattle the residents of his home, so Belle continued with a gentle, “Anyway, it’s not going to be a really grown-up event. All the dogs are included, so I imagine Martha’s place is going to be pretty chaotic. It gets crazy enough around here with just these two, so once you add Ace and Princess and the others, who knows what will happen?” As Belle made this observation, she looked affectionately at Kit and Gabby, who were curled around E.T.’s chair, snoozing peaceably. Twelve-year-old boys, she decided, must have a magnetic attraction for canines—and vice-versa.

  E.T. reached down to stroke the two sleeping heads; his face was now full of doting concern. “Maybe we shouldn’t be making this chocolate cake, then, Belle. Chocolate’s poisonous to dogs. It’s got something called theobromine in it. I looked it up—”