Second Round Cowboy (Second Chance Series)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  “She’d asked me to take care of Lilly, to not let that bastard sperm donor near Lilly.” He tossed his hat onto the couch. "She specifically mentioned you—"

  “Me? Why?”

  “She remembered the promise you’d made to help with Lilly.” His eyes drilled into her.

  "But not for me...and you...for us to do this together?”

  "That’s the impression I got. Hell, I'm as confused as you are," he said.

  “I…no, this isn’t possible. She wouldn’t expect for us, I mean, me to uphold a promise made when things were different.” She swept her gaze to his face but the sadness she saw made her turn away.

  “Are you saying that promises have an expiration date? That’s just like you,” he snapped.

  He was stressed, she'd give him that, but being a target for his bitterness wouldn't work. “What is that supposed to mean?” She covered the distance between them, meeting his gaze head on.

  “You not only left me, but you left people who loved you, cared for you. Even though you disappeared one night, Justine still held you close in her heart.” Dark clouds seem to park above their heads.

  “I understand you’re angry and sad, but—”

  “Hell yes, I am. I want to wrap my hands around the jerk that killed my sister and squeeze the life from him. She was thirty with a whole future ahead of her. Some asshole ties one on, climbs into his vehicle and takes off down the road. He smashes into my sister and while she is internally bleeding, he walks away with only a couple of scratches. Should that make me happy? If Lilly would have been with her—" He cleared his throat and seemed to gather his emotions. "She'd be dead. She's sitting at home right now crying her eyes out for her mother and is in so much pain that she hasn’t murmured a word since the night I woke her up to tell her that her mommy wasn’t coming home. It should have been me who died, not Justine, not when she had someone who needed her.”

  Tears filled Leslie’s eyes and she blinked them back, but not before one escaped. She swiped the wetness away. “I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to tell Lilly about her mother. I'm so sorry.”

  “Hard doesn’t even begin to describe the roller coaster I'm on. I don't know how to help Lilly and I'm lost. I guess I came here at a bad time, interrupting your date, not thinking of the consequences. Damn, would there have been a better time though."

  Leslie had a strong desire to deny that she'd been on a date, but she couldn’t lie to him. "It's okay," she whispered. "He was leaving anyway."

  "It didn't look like he had been planning to leave." His sigh echoed off the walls.

  No words of defense came to her. And she didn't owe him an explanation.

  "Justine left Lilly to me and I have no clue what I should do. I know this isn't your problem. As much as I hated coming here, seeing you, you’re the only one I could think of for help.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  STRYKER SAT DOWN on the couch and Leslie did the same. He looked across the brown leather cushions, catching a long glance of the woman who’d always been capable of irritating him and inspiring him at the same time.

  Even as he sat here, he wasn’t sure he’d made the right choice by coming. But what alternative did he have? He didn’t know the first thing about taking care of a child, even if Lilly was old enough to go to the bathroom alone, dress herself and eat without a bottle, it scared the hell out of him.

  Leslie’s gaze met his, seconds turned into minutes until she turned away. She lowered her gaze to her lap. The last few years hadn’t changed her a bit—if anything, her beauty had multiplied.

  Disappointment edged through him. He hadn’t come to admire her looks or think about the past, but it seemed to pop up at the most ill-timed moments. Now being one of them.

  They’d been a couple since high school, through college, and had gotten engaged right after graduation. They’d made plans and then something had happened.

  A week before their wedding, she'd left, vanished without a word. He’d been left with a pain unlike anything he’d experienced, similar to losing Justine.

  No matter how many years passed, he’d never forget the moment he'd walked into her house and found her clothes gone.

  His pain had eventually turned to anger, and he’d teetered between fury and self-pity for years. Today, he felt a little of both emotions.

  “How could someone just disappear? No note. No goodbye. Just gone. Cold-hearted.” He hadn't realized he'd said the words until he saw her flinch.

  “Did it take you a good week to notice that I was no longer in town?” she asked.

  “Is that supposed to be funny?” His body tensed and he forced his muscles to relax. If he hadn't come for Lilly, he'd have already been out of her house.

  “I'm only being honest.” She slid him a look that left him cold.

  “Were things so horrible between us that you couldn't tell me you wanted a new life?” Hell, it was a waste of breath. His words wouldn’t change anything. He'd gotten his closure by way of acceptance.

  “Is this why you drove two hours to Shelby? To run me over the coals?” Her bottom lip quivered. "I found a job here that I couldn't pass up. I needed to start on a path of my own."

  The room grew warmer and his shirt shrunk by two sizes. “I guess I should cut you some slack. How could I think I deserved an explanation? I was only the boy who’d been there with you through thick and thin.” He swallowed the ache in his throat. “But that’s not the reason I came here. You leaving is history. What matters is, Justine is dead and I’m responsible for Lilly.”

  “That’s a huge task.”

  Her eyes turned soft and sincere. Innocence washed over her face and he wanted to lash out, but he couldn't find the energy to do anything but stare. Her five feet seven inch, slender frame seemed to sink into the corner of the couch. An urge to pull her close invaded his logical reasoning, and it took every ounce of control he had to force the desire away.

  “As much as we can plan for these things, I don’t think we ever believe bad things will happen,” he said.

  “You and Justine were the only close family left after your mother passed away. It only makes sense that she had chosen you to be Lilly’s guardian. She realized you'd love her and keep her safe. Of course, it’ll take time for both of you to adjust after the loss."

  "If only she'd talk. If I knew what her thoughts were." He rubbed his forehead.

  "She hasn't said anything?" she asked.

  “Not one word.”

  “She needs to see someone. I'm sure you can find a child therapist who can help her.”

  “I have a friend who has been seeing her. Lilly seems to like Tessa.”

  “Tessa is the therapist?”

  “Yes. I went from worrying about myself to planning a funeral, scheduling therapist sessions, and figuring out what a seven-year-old eats. I grilled steak and she just looked at me funny. I baked lasagna and she left the table without eating one bite. I read her an article from a motorcycle magazine and she started crying.” He threw up his hands in frustration. It was likely that he wasn’t any good at any of this.

  Leslie moved and the hem of the robe hiked up higher on her thigh. He knew it wasn’t intentional, which somehow made the action sexier.

  Shit!

  He pulled his gaze to a spot on the tip of her pert nose and refused to move his eyes. He honestly didn’t want to find her tempting, or imagine her long, bare legs wrapped around his hips. He sure as hell didn’t want to fall into her arms and cry like a baby—but man did he want to allow his emotions full reign. Grown men didn’t cry, especially on the shoulder of a woman who could give a damn less.

  He’d shed enough tears in the past week to last a lifetime. No way he’d lose it here.

  He’d thought about this moment when he’d see her again, but he’d never anticipated that she could still tinker with every emotion in his body.

  “I need a drink. Care for one?” she asked.

  “Whiskey?” He needed a stiff one to c
ombat the other hard places that she couldn’t see.

  “I think I have some. I’ll be back.” She got up and he watched the sweet sway of her tight bottom until she disappeared from the room. He dug his fingertips into his eyelids.

  I’m a jackass! What person comes to discuss his dead sister, unhappy niece and ends up getting a hard on? He really wasn’t deranged, but he was headed in a direction of insanity.

  By the time she came back, he had his misbehaving mind and libido in line. She handed him a glass of liquid salvation and he downed the contents in one gulp, feeling the burn all the way to the pit of his stomach. He welcomed the fire.

  She moved passed him and he got a whiff of her scent—vanilla—and he was back to square one. The cushions moved as she sat down, closer this time, and she tucked her legs up underneath her. She took her drink a bit slower, sipping.

  He rolled his finger around the edge of the cool glass. He welcomed the few seconds of silence.

  “I don’t know how I can help, Stryke.” He liked how she used his shortened name. “I’m not even sure I deserved your sister’s approval—”

  “A thought we definitely have in common.”

  She sniffed loudly. “I get you’re pissed at me. I even understand…I do.” She slipped her slender fingers through her hair and the simple movement drove his annoyance further.

  “You have no idea how I feel.” He gritted his teeth.

  “If you decided to take all of your anger and sadness for Justine’s death out on me, allow me to at least get over the news first. I didn’t think we’d ever see each other again. I certainly didn’t think you’d show up in the middle of the night to tell me you’d lost someone.”

  He chuckled, although nothing was funny about his situation. “Poor you. Well, then, get over your shock.” He heard her breath catch. He looked at her, not wanting to see the hurt in her gaze. He wanted to stay angry with her, but somehow he still cared for her.

  “Just tell me what you have come to ask.”

  “Come back to Mason Ranch with me. Help with Lilly, at least until I get the hang of this.” He couldn’t believe he’d managed to say the words.

  “Not possible. I have a business here in Shelby. I have friends. I have a life and there is no way I’m going back to Hollyville.”

  “I can see since things were so damned terrible for you there.” Damn, he didn’t want a pity party. He gave it a shot and she said no. He needed to leave, soon, so why wasn’t his body following orders to exit?

  “I feel for your situation. It can’t be easy, but Justine made the decision to make me godmother when I was a part of your life. This is not up for discussion. And I’m sorry, but I want the past to stay where it belongs.”

  He scratched his jaw. Take her word and hit the road! “I only have temporary custody of Lilly. I have to prove to the state that I’m fit to be her parent before I can adopt her.”

  “Under the circumstances, you are the best parent. Who else would be better than you?”

  “Thanks for your vote of confidence, but I’m afraid there’s a caseworker that isn’t sure a single man my age can become an overnight father. Can’t say I blame the worker. I have my doubts.”

  “Do you hear yourself? Really? Because I think you’re a man who has lost someone dearly and is afraid. You love Lilly, right?”

  “I do.” She took a sip of her drink and he studied her. Her hair fell in waves around her shoulders and he wondered if the strands still felt like silk. The slight upturn of her nose to the soft pout of her mouth, and downward along the long sweep of her neck, he remembered every inch. He wanted to taste her, to lick the whiskey from her lips. But she was off limits. “There’s something else you should know.”

  “What?” Her bottom lip trembled. Could she read his thoughts?

  “Justine had always hoped you and I would get back together.” His throat burned with the words.

  “Okay.” Leslie blinked.

  “At the hospital, they had given her drugs through her IV to keep her calm and out of pain. There was nothing they could do to help her and the doctor wanted her to not suffer.” He needed another drink, but no matter how much he tried, nothing would change the ache inside his heart. “She was talking out of her head as if she didn’t remember that you and I were no longer together.” He swiped his palms down the legs of his jeans.

  “What did she say?” Leslie’s husky voice penetrated his resentment.

  “She went on and on that we’d be good to Lilly. That you would be a fine mother and I’d be the daddy Lilly never had.” He inhaled sharply. “I couldn’t tell her the truth. I let her believe that we would take care of her daughter.”

  “Wouldn’t anyone do the same for a loved one? You did the right thing.” Her voice soothed him.

  He counted to ten…backward, forward and he still wanted to touch her. When she laid her hand on his shoulder, electric shards darted through his body. “I understand this isn’t your issue.”

  “I know you’re feeling guilty, Stryke. You shouldn’t.”

  “She told me she was glad I went after you when you left.” Justine had made it clear many times before the accident that she thought he was a big oaf for not making things right. “Damn, I barely have a clue how to take care of myself, let alone a child. But I only have a year.”

  “And what happens if you can’t prove to the state that you are the best parent for her?” Leslie removed her hand.

  “Then the adoption won’t go through.” His chest tightened. “Leslie, you know how close my sister and I were, even if we didn’t agree on everything. If I don’t manage this, I’ll have let her down, and I can’t live with that.”

  “Why me, though? I know nothing about kids. Hell, I barely remember my own childhood. At least your mom and dad were two awesome role models.”

  “You’re great with animals. Kids can’t be that much different.”

  “You saying that scares me. Kids and animals are worlds apart. Just because I’m nurturing with animals doesn’t mean I’d be good at helping with kids.”

  “It’s one kid, Lesi, not a dozen.” He managed a chuckle. Her gaze narrowed. “What?”

  “I haven’t heard that nickname in years.”

  He gulped and wished he’d have caught it before he’d said it. “And I haven’t used it for as long. Some habits die hard.”

  She emptied the glass and he could see her distress in the grim set of her lips. “I can’t help you. I’m sorry.” She got up. “You need to go now.”

  Stryker had never been one to give up, but he had no choice in this matter. And he couldn’t forget that she was in shock. He couldn’t imagine if she’d shown up on his doorstep giving him the same news.

  He stood, set his glass on the table and brushed passed her as he made his way to the door. He waited about three seconds, looked at her over his shoulder and said, “I wish you’d change your mind.”

  Her face paled. “I’m sorry, Stryke. I really am.”

  The door closed behind him as he headed down the sidewalk to his truck parked on the street. Plan A didn’t work, so on to plan B, yet he hadn’t quite gotten that far yet.

  Sliding into the driver’s seat, he didn’t start the engine, but waited. The light went off in Leslie’s living room, and seconds later, he saw it come on through a window at the other end of the house. He wasn’t a peeper, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the room where he guessed she was getting ready for bed. He wondered if she still slept naked. No doubt. A woman like Leslie didn’t like the confines of clothing.

  If he hadn’t shown up when he did, would she still be entertaining her guest? His palm ached and he realized he had been gripping the steering wheel.

  Stretching his fingers, he wondered why he was bothered. He had no right and he’d never been a resentful man. He guessed he’d never had reason so the bitter feeling in the pit of his stomach was new, and he didn’t like it much.

  What the hell? He hadn’t come all of this way to re
connect with an old flame or to imagine what she was wearing underneath some black, slinky robe. He’d come to ask for help, just as Justine had wanted. She’d always been smart, but apparently, his sister hadn’t thought this one through.

  When it came down to facts, he couldn’t let his sister down as he’d done other people in his life. Including Leslie. He’d let her go and, even though chasing a woman wasn’t healthy for a man’s ego, he knew, even in his anger, that she hadn’t left without reason. He wished she’d taken the time to talk to him years ago. Maybe he could have made things better for her.

  He had to wonder if she’d moved on with the young-faced cowboy? What could some wet-behind-the-ears boy do for a woman like Leslie?

  Laying his forehead against the steering wheel, he found a sliver of relief in the coolness of the vinyl.

  One particular part of his body gave her a special salute and it remained hard. He should feel ashamed, but he didn’t.

  Lifting his head, he turned the ignition and slid the gear into drive, pulling away from Leslie’s house and heartache. Yep, she was the prized female who’d broken his heart. She’d sparked his spiral decent into loneliness, steering clear of another relationship and keeping himself to a few friends with benefits over the years. Some of those women had called him cold, and maybe he was, but he’d never lied about his intentions. The fun ended once they allowed their emotions to get in the way.

  Keeping his feelings under lock and key meant never having the risk of getting hurt again.

  Once he was out on the highway with some miles between him and the ebony-haired she-devil, he felt a weight lifted. Unfortunately, her image lingered the entire trip home.

  CHAPTER THREE

  TWO DAYS LATER, Leslie was bent over the side of the bathtub, on hands and knees, scrubbing it when she heard, “Nice faucet.”

  She jerked, lost her balance and slid across the soapy bottom of the ceramic. Lifting up on hands, she turned and found Stryker leaning in the doorway. His hat was low on his forehead, hiding his eyes, but his naughty grin made her heart pump faster. A mixture of emotions flooded her—excitement, anger, confusion and disbelief.