Second Round Cowboy (Second Chance Series)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  “Take care of yourself, Stryker.” She waved and left him.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “ARE YOU SURE this is what’s right?” Carly handed Leslie another tissue. Leslie took it, blew her nose and tossed it with the rest of the pile on the table. “You’re getting quite a stash there.”

  Leslie sniffled. A week had passed since she’d left Hollyville. “I can’t believe one person could have this much water in their body. When do the tears stop?” She couldn’t imagine feeling any worse if a truck had come along and ran over her. She missed Stryker and Lilly, but loved them enough to want the best for them. “I’m not sure of anything.”

  “I think you left hoping Stryker would come running after you, confessing his love.” Carly shook her head. “Sometimes things like that backfire.”

  “I left because I don’t want to feel like he’s marrying me because it makes life easier for him.”

  “I thought you said you can’t cook, you are stubborn, and you have no clue how to become a wife and mother? Can you explain how this is easier for him?” Carly asked.

  Leslie hiccupped. How could she answer when Carly was right? “Maybe he saw me as a lifeline. After all, he searched me out because he needed help with Lilly.”

  “And what’s so wrong with that? The man loses his sister and he takes her child, and out of all the women in the world, including this Tessa you talk about, he comes to you. I’d say that’s a positive and not a negative.”

  “He came because Justine asked him to. I’m Lilly’s godparent,” she said through tears.

  “I’m not trying to be rude, but he could have easily ignored his sister’s wishes.” Carly turned her body and faced Leslie. “Maybe he saw this as an opportunity to come to you? Have you thought of his intentions in a good way and not a bad way?” Leslie tossed another tissue onto the mound. “On top of this, you said yourself, the connection remained.”

  “We spent a lot of time in bed.” Leslie sighed.

  “Let me tell you something, intimacy is the quickest route to happiness. Chance and I slept together the night before our divorce was final. I was reminded of why I still loved him…the way he looked at me, touched me like he’d never touched anyone before and he held me with such care. Of course, at that time, anger clung to me along with guilt and sadness. I couldn’t seem to let any of the raw emotion go, even when I knew I was losing the best thing I’d ever been blessed with.” Carly shifted and scooted to the edge of the couch. “Falling down the stairs and getting amnesia was a miracle. I found Chance again. Memories still come back…some good, some hurtful. One thing that’s true in all of this is my love for Chance. Never again will I allow anything, or anyone, to ruin what we have.”

  “It’s different for you and Chance, though.” Leslie sniffed.

  “Is it?” Carly tilted her chin. “Are you going to spend another six years of your life feeling sorry for yourself or are you going to let go of the things you can’t change? And sweetie, I can say that because I’m living proof. You will screw up as a wife and parent. We all do.”

  “You’re a wonderful parent, Carly.”

  Carly shrugged. “My kids make it easy. I’ve been blessed all around.”

  “I guess I’m not alone in feeling inferior when it comes to matrimony and parenthood,” Leslie said.

  “I think everyone has those thoughts cross their mind at least once before they tie the knot or have a child. Marriage and parenting is the most profound job we’ll ever be faced with, and yet it’s the most rewarding.”

  “I was pregnant by Stryker, a long time ago. I didn’t want to be and then I lost our child. I can’t describe how guilty I felt.”

  Carly nodded. “You were young and scared, honey. You’re older now.”

  “I walked in and saw Stryker and Tessa sitting together, laughing. They looked so happy…so right.” She was throwing out random thoughts.

  “Hmm, I think that sounds more like jealousy,” Carly said.

  “Maybe a little, but I realized I carried around so much leftover emotion.”

  “I’ll confess, I was jealous when it came to you and Chance at one time. I remember how resentful I was when I saw you two together at the diner. You were laughing and so beautiful and all of my inferiorities rushed to the surface. I wanted to laugh freely again. I wanted to have fun with Chance. He seemed so carefree and I wondered if he’d forgotten about me…his family.” Carly lowered her eyes.

  “Carly, he’d never gotten over you. I was a broad shoulder that he felt comfortable in crying on. You are, and always will be, the only one who will make him smile from his heart.”

  Carly chuckled. “Yes, I know that now. But the fact remains, I was jealous of you because I believed you could give him fun and excitement, and I couldn’t because, well, losing a child had torn me apart inside. I was stuck in my own hell and had no way out. Thankfully, I cracked my head, because in that I was given a second chance.”

  “I’d been given a second chance also,” Leslie whispered.

  “You and Stryker have a history together. You still love him and I saw the way he watched you the night you two came to dinner, and at Lila and Duke’s wedding. The man is crazy about you. Lila noticed it too. We can’t allow a love like that to slip through our fingers.”

  “Two people can have magnetism, but it doesn’t mean they can satisfy one another in all aspects of things.”

  “Are you listening to yourself? If you’re waiting for a man who will meet all of your needs, or for him to meet all your needs, then you’re going to grow old alone.”

  “How do I know if marriage is for me?” Leslie sighed.

  “Marriage isn’t for you. When we marry someone, we marry them to make them happy. That’s what love is, to want to please the one you’re with, to support them in life and endeavors, to listen when they need to talk, to hold their hand when they are hurting. You love Stryker and Lilly unselfishly because you’re willing to give up having them if it means you lose. That’s the most unselfish act ever.”

  Tears blurred her vision again. “I do want him to be happy. And Lilly deserves the best mother.”

  “Then why do you doubt yourself?” Carly asked.

  Leslie nibbled the corner of her mouth. “My mom wasn’t the best. In fact, some days I think she hated me. She always seemed to have this image of me, one that I couldn’t reach, and I always failed her expectations. I’ve been thinking about the past a lot here lately and I believe I left Hollyville more because of my mother’s memory and not Stryker.” She hadn’t admitted that to anyone until now. “It’s not easy talking about my past.”

  Carly patted her shoulder. “We all have things we’d like to forget, especially things we can’t change. You’re an amazing woman and you’re allowing your feelings of failure to damage your future. Maybe you need some time to think things through.”

  Leslie nodded. “I’m sure you didn’t come here just to talk about my love life, or the lack of. What did you need to see me about?”

  “Since you told me that you and Stryker were getting married I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. I’m hoping you’ll allow me to plan your wedding. We can have it at the Swift Wind, only invite the people you want. You know how much I love throwing a party.”

  “That’s sweet, but I no longer have a groom. And planning a ceremony is way too much to ask for, especially in a short time.”

  “Hogwash! Do you realize who you’re talking to? I can plan any shindig in days. Girl, don’t count me short.”

  Leslie laughed—first time in a while. “I hear you, but there’s still not a wedding.”

  Carly got up from the couch and started for the door. “Give it a few days. You may be surprised where your heart will lead you.”

  Once Carly was gone, Leslie laid her head back and wanted to scream. No matter which way she turned, she seemed to screw things to hell.

  The following day, Leslie forced herself out of the house. She looked like hell, but she didn’
t care, and she knew the horse didn’t.

  After finishing her rounds, she saw a familiar figure walking toward the barn. Blinking twice, Leslie realized she wasn’t imagining the woman. Tessa.

  Dropping a bottle of saline into her medical bag, Leslie closed it. She gave the stallion one last nuzzle before meeting Tessa at the open barn door. “What are you doing here? Is Lilly okay?”

  “Yes, she’s fine. I would have called first but I figured you wouldn’t talk to me.” Tessa swept a slender hand through her red hair and her gaze dropped to her expensive heels now covered in mud. “This makes two pairs ruined this week. I’ve been told that ranches and heels don’t mix. I never think far enough ahead.” She chuckled.

  “How’d you find me?” Leslie asked.

  “I stopped at your house and your neighbor took pity on me. He told me you come out here during the week.”

  “I don’t want to sound rude, but why are you here?” Leslie shuffled her booted feet. She almost felt sorry for Tessa and her ruined heels—almost.

  “I know you must be shocked to see me.”

  “I really don’t know how I feel.” She wasn’t angry with the other woman, but it could head down that path. “Have you come to brag?”

  “Brag? About what? Now I’m confused.” Her gaze narrowed.

  “Seriously? You have Stryker now to yourself. I know you’re in love with him. I can’t blame you because so am I. He’s a charmer with a big heart. Not to mention he is handsome and a perfect cowboy.”

  Tessa chuckled. “Leslie, you don’t seem like the type to jump to conclusions, so don’t start now. I’m not here to brag.”

  Leslie squeezed the handle of her bag tighter. “Trust me, for whatever reason you decided to come out here you’ve wasted your time. You can find your way back, right?”

  She swore she heard Tessa swallow. “I didn’t come to piss you off. Can we go somewhere and talk? I’m sure you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”

  “No, I don’t think I do.”

  “I’m not in love with Stryker,” Tessa said.

  “You sure seemed adamant about your feelings when we talked at the hospital.”

  “My feelings changed the moment I saw the love Stryker has for you. If he’s not with you, he’s going to be alone. No woman will ever accept being second best.” Tessa sighed. “Please talk with me.”

  Leslie had no reason to honor Tessa’s request, but a part of her did want to hear what she had to say. “For Lilly’s sake, I’ll hear you out because in the long run, I know you are doing well by her.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Leslie slid into the red vinyl booth in the corner at the local diner and looked across the scratched table. Tessa seemed both tense and pleased.

  “Thank you for meeting me here,” Tessa said.

  The waitress stopped by and took their orders. Leslie waited until the server was out of hearing range. “Let’s get this over with. I have a one o’clock appointment.”

  Tessa nervously played with a napkin. “First, Stryker doesn’t know I’m here. I came of my own free will. I need to know, why did you leave, Leslie?”

  Leslie wasn’t sure how much she wanted to share with her. It wasn’t like they were friends. “I want what’s best for Stryker and Lilly.”

  Tessa leaned on the table, clasped her hands together as if she was dealing with a client, making Leslie shift in the seat. The worn material cracked and heaved under her weight, much like what was happening inside of Leslie. “And why doesn’t that include you?”

  “Is there a reason why you’re asking me these questions?” Leslie understood the harshness of her tone, but if Tessa thought they’d get all cozy over a glass of tea, she was sadly mistaken.

  “I care for Lilly too. She misses you. Seems selfish of you to pick up and take off…again.”

  Tessa’s words were not any less harsh. Gloves were off. “Look, I respect that you care for Lilly and Stryker, but this is really none of your business. Shouldn’t you be glad that I’m not in the picture?”

  Tessa planted her hands palm down on the edge of the table, her knuckles grew white. “I’ll give you that this is none of my business, but if you think I’m desperate enough that I’ll take Stryker when he loves you, then you’ve sadly mistaken my character. Unfortunately, I’ve mistaken who you are as well because I never saw you as a quitter.”

  Leslie leaned in. “I didn’t quit!”

  “No?” One thin brow curved. “That’s not what you call it when one gives up?”

  “I’m still not sure what you gain by being here?”

  “Nothing. I win nothing, except one little girl’s happiness. Not to mention, Stryker deserves to have happiness too.”

  Leslie laughed. “His happiness? It’s interesting that you’re his go-between. He can’t speak for himself?”

  “Do you expect him to come crawling after you when you left him for a second time? Even if you think you’re doing him a favor, you’re not. Can’t you see the truth through that wall of self-pity you’ve built?” Her chin tilted defiantly. “He is in love with you. Sure, maybe there are parts of the past that bother him, but can’t we all say that?”

  The waitress gave them their drinks and Leslie quickly drank half of hers in one gulp. “I guess I do have a lot of self-pity.”

  “I owe you an apology.” Tessa moistened her lips. “Maybe at one time I had hoped he’d fall for me and your memory would be forgotten.” Leslie opened her mouth, but Tessa lifted a hand to stop her. “No, let me finish. I realize that he probably hasn’t told you his feelings, and that’s why I came. I too care enough for him and Lilly to let him go, and it’s easy for me because he doesn’t have the same feelings that I do. So then what’s your excuse? Do you really love him?”

  “I do love him. I’ve loved him the moment I saw him as a kid. It’s too much to explain.”

  “Leslie, please don’t get upset, but Stryker and I discussed the past. He told me about your childhood. You had traumatic events, but that doesn’t make you horrible. How long will you turn people away out of fear? Love is always a risk, for everyone. But what better partner could you ask for to help you through the obstacles? Stryker loves you and he is sulking in misery right now.”

  Tessa’s words embedded inside of Leslie’s conscious. She blinked back tears and swallowed years of pain and heartache. “I’ve regretted leaving him every day, but I always believed he deserved better.”

  “You may be the only person made for him. Why do you think he hasn’t moved on? The bigger question is, why haven’t you moved on?”

  She shrugged. “There was never any path leading forward that didn’t include him.”

  Tessa sighed. “Then let’s do something about it. I want to help.”

  “Serious?”

  “Of course.” Tessa thrummed her long nails on the table. “I love helping people. That’s why I love my job.”

  “Great, I’m a patient now.” Leslie rolled her eyes.

  Tessa laughed. “I’d say you’re a bit too old to be my client. I can recommend someone, though.”

  “Tessa, if you and I are going to be any good at being friends, then you can’t ever suggest a therapist again. I tried that. It didn’t work. In fact, I’m saner than he was. Now, what plan do you have in mind?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “WHAT IF HE doesn’t show up?” Leslie couldn’t control the trembling in her hands and her teeth were chattering.

  “He will come.” Lila winked.

  “And why wouldn’t he come?” Carly asked as she pinned the last tendril of hair into Leslie’s updo.

  “Because I was a jerk.” Leslie looked at her reflection in the large mirror.

  “Not as big as the one I was and Chance forgave me.” Carly patted Leslie’s bare shoulder. “And look at you. You’re absolutely beautiful.”

  Leslie stood up, still staring into the mirror. Her hair was lovely, her makeup was perfect and the strapless, white lacey gown was gorgeous. Carly had helped
her pick it out. “Okay, what if he shows up and refuses me?” Her nerves made her stomach roll.

  “He won’t refuse you. He may be shocked, but he won’t refuse you,” Lila assured her.

  Leslie turned and admired Carly and Lila who were gorgeous in their sundresses—Carly’s pink and Lila’s lilac. “What would I do without you both?” She gave each of them a quick squeeze.

  “I guess I owe Tessa too.” Leslie sighed.

  “I think she knows how grateful you are,” Carly said.

  Leslie glanced at the clock. “They’re ten minutes late.”

  “Relax.” Carly sighed. “He’ll be here. Tessa will drag him here in chains if she must.”

  The door to the bedroom opened and all eyes turned. Tessa popped her head in. “Okay, I found you.” She stepped in and Leslie could see that the other woman was frenzied. Her hair needed combed and her cheeks were red. “Stryker is a stubborn man. You’d never understand—”

  “Oh, yes we would,” Carly and Lila chimed at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed. “Chance and Duke are the most stubborn men ever,” Carly added.

  Tessa nodded at someone on the other side of the door and Leslie’s breath held. Was it Stryker? Lilly stepped in, a ray of sunshine. “Lilly.” Leslie rushed to the little girl and pulled her in for a long hug. Tears fells to Leslie’s cheeks. “I’m so happy to see you. And look at how pretty you are.” Leslie stepped back, held up the child’s arms and turned her around. Her pink dress swished around her knees.

  “Good thing Stryker has no idea about dresses because he didn’t even ask why she’s wearing a fancy one.” Tessa smirked.

  “Thank you for bringing her, Tessa.” Leslie had a lot of respect for the other woman. After their talk at the restaurant, and Tessa coming up with the plan of bringing Stryker, Leslie knew she’d been worried over nothing all along.

  “No problem.” Tessa smiled.

  “Can I speak to you a moment, Lilly?” Leslie asked. With a quick nod, Leslie led the girl to the bed and sat her down on the edge, then kneeled down so she could look at her in her eye. “I want you and your uncle Stryker to be my family. I want to be a part of your family. I want your permission to marry your uncle. Is that okay?”