More Than You Know

by Alexandria Rhodes

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to play the piano, and I can remember just getting lost in the music. My fingers used to fly across the keys as though no matter how new the song was, they always knew what to do.”

  His eyes widened, and he smiled. “I had no idea you played the piano. I don’t remember you playing when we were younger…did you?” He paused. “You don't seem like the type of girl to play piano. Don't take that the wrong way,” he quickly added.

  I smiled, this not being the first time I’ve heard that. “What, you can't picture me playing?” I gave him a serious look, but on the inside I was smiling as I waited for his answer.

  He stammered, “Well, no. I just meant…I don't know. I guess now I can picture you playing. I just never would have pictured it on my own,” looking at me and then back to the road in front of us. “Actually, it's kind of hot.”

  I laughed. “Did you just call me hot?”

  “Maybe. Are you going to play the piano for me later?”

  “No, I don't play in front of people.”

  “But I'm not just people…it's me. And I want to hear you play. I need to hear you play.”

  “Where is this place anyway?” I asked, not wanting to talk about playing the piano anymore. It wasn't that I didn't want to play ever again. It was just that I hadn't played in years.

  He avoided my attempt at changing the subject. “It would mean a lot to me.”

  “We'll see.”

  “Whatever it takes, Bryn. I have to hear you play.” He hit play. “You need to listen to this song. It's great.”

  I rubbed my arms as goose bumps pricked my skin as the lyrics filled the car.

  There was a reason I wasn’t able to fully move on with my life in NYC. It was partially my dad, part Tyler. He grounded me.

  “What are you smiling at?” he asked as he pulled into a parking deck. It was packed.

  I shrugged. “Nothing in particular.”

  “They get pretty packed here,” he said, noticing my expression. “Luckily for us, we have front row VIP tickets,” he said, waving them in front of me.

  “Thanks for asking me to come out tonight,” I said, getting out of the car.

  When I had been unpacking from the night I went out to Crave, I found a pair of white shorts and a dark red, short-sleeved lace shirt. I instantly knew that Charlotte had been the one to slip them into my bag. She always had a reputation of finding her own way to recommending an outfit.

  “I'm just glad you could come out tonight.”

  I smiled. “Me too.”

  When we came into view of the venue my mouth dropped at the site.

  “Wow!” I said seeing the massive crowd. There were even guards standing in front of them. “This is insane!” I had to yell to Tyler over the screams and cheers of the fans lined up.

  “Yeah,” he said as he scanned the crowd. “Come on!” He grabbed my hand, and we quickly made our way to the side of the crowd.

  His hand was wrapped around mine, and suddenly I was eighteen again. I never wanted to let go. And we didn't.

  “Tyler!” a voice yelled behind us.

  We turned around, and a man came walking over to us.

  “Mitch! I was looking for you, man. Pretty intense crowd here tonight, huh?”

  Mitch nodded. “Yeah, we are completely sold out. And I bet half of these people, at least, don't have tickets and are all hoping to get in.” Mitch looked at me and then back at Tyler. “Is this Bryn?”

  He knows my name?

  “Yeah, Bryn, this is Mitch. Mitch, this is Bryn.”

  Mitch stuck his hand out and I took it, shaking it gently. “Nice to meet you.”

  “You too. We’ve heard a lot about you.”

  I blushed, wondering what Tyler had said, and suddenly I felt self-conscious.

  “Mitch is one of the managers here and is helping out with the band tonight. He’s the one that got us front row tickets.”

  I nodded, and Mitch motioned for us to follow him.

  The crowd yelled louder as they watched us go in. I turned around and gave them a sympathetic look. I knew that if I were one of them, I would be pissed to see two people who had just arrived walk in like it was nothing.

  We entered the empty building and Mitch handed us two lanyards to wear around our necks. “Don't lose these. I won't be able to help you out much when the concert starts.”

  He pushed open a large set of doors, leading us into a large auditorium. It was completely empty, and it felt eerie being in a place so big with just me, Tyler, the stage, and some instruments.

  “I'll go tell them you're ready,” Mitch said, going up some stairs and through a door.

  I turned to Tyler. “Ready for what?”

  He smiled and I knew he had something extra planned. “You'll see.”

  What is going on?

  I looked around, taking in the concert space. The room was painted black with blood red accents to it. There were overlooking seating areas that lined the walls; looking as though they were floating. Behind us and up above was a second section, lined with chairs. I could only imagine how thrilling it would be to watch the concert from any point in the room. I wonder what Mitch had meant.

  Then my question was answered as some guys walked out onto stage. “Hey Ty!” one of them yelled.

  I watched as Tyler walked up to the stage and shook hands with them. They spoke for a couple of seconds before Tyler motioned for me to join them.

  “They're going to do a mini concert for us before everyone else comes in,” Tyler said as he put his arm around my shoulders.

  We returned to where we were standing as the band members took their spots on the stage. They grabbed their instruments and then one of the guys walked up to the microphone stand.

  “All right, here we go.” And the music started.

  The lights dimmed and I felt Tyler's hand gently touch my wrist. “Dance with me?”

  Smiling, knowing I could slow dance well, I took his hand as his other rested on my waist.

  I looked up at him and our eyes met. The words to the song so perfect, it was as though they were written for Tyler and me.

  “Hey,” he said softly, just loud enough for me to hear over the music.

  “Hey.”

  We had only been Tyler and Bryn again for a few weeks, but really, it had been a lifetime for us.

  He let go of my hand, and I let it rest at his side. Bringing his hand up to my face, he cupped it as I felt him move closer to me while one of his fingers traced the curves of my face. His thumb trailed across my lips, and I felt like I was going to explode in anticipation.

  His thumb continued down to my chin and tilted my face up. I waited in breathless anticipation for his lips to touch mine again, this past weekend being too long since our last kiss. And then it happened; the pain of the past melted away as his lips moved against mine. It was as though he was communicating everything he was unable to through the kiss. His apologies came out in a sincere way as his hand gently took mine. Suddenly all of his words made sense to me.

  I brought our hands up in between us and let them rest against his heart, feeling it pound beneath our entwined fingers. His lips were soft, gentle, and moved across mine like velvet. It was sensual. Our lips continued to move together and my hand tightened around his waist as he pulled me closer to him, our bodies no longer swaying to the music.

  He pulled back and kissed my nose and my cheek before using his knuckle to bring my lips to his again. He grabbed my right hand and lifted my arm above my head, spinning me around slowly.

  As I came back around from the spin, he pulled me close to him and we stood there, breathless. Then we realized we were alone; the band was no longer on stage.

  “Wow,” I said as he brushed my cheek with his thumb.

  I looked into his eyes wanting everything and all of him. It would always be him. He was my heart and every breath I breathed.

  “Tyler…” I started to say, the words getting caught in my thr
oat.

  He kissed me lightly. “I know.”

  "Hey, we hate to end this love bird session here, but we have to let the fans in,” Mitch said.

  ---

  The band had been as amazing as Tyler had talked them up to be. The energy from the crowd was intoxicating. I now knew why Tyler liked them so much and loved working here at the House of Music.

  “Hey, want to come back to my place?” Tyler asked as he opened my car door for me. “We could put a movie in if you want.”

  I was reminded of how much I liked that “code.” I felt myself blush at that thought and felt my cheeks burn as my hand automatically touched them.

  “That’s fucking killing me,” Tyler said, pointing out my blush.

  “I hate it when I blush; it gives away what I'm thinking,” I said as he turned the ignition on, the cold air coming on and blasting us.

  He leaned in and kissed my shoulder. “So what were you thinking just then?”

  “Nothing in particular.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Uh huh, okay. I’ll find out soon enough.”

  I raised my eyebrows…Holy hell.

  “I’ll hold you to that, boyfriend.”

  Shit, shit, shit. I just said that out loud. Everything about us lately screamed couple but stubborn me, I wanted him to be the first one to bring it up. It was something so silly; something that didn’t need said. Our feelings were obvious, at least to me.

  He grabbed my hand, and I jumped slightly at the spark between us. “Bryn, do you feel that? Or am I going crazy?”

  “If you're going crazy, then so am I.”

  He laughed. “I mean, this isn't too fast for you, is it? You can tell me to stop, slow down, whatever.”

  I shook my head. “So far, so good.”

  “Good to hear, girlfriend.”

  He was going to kill me.

  When we got to the house I was shocked to see that there were no other cars in the driveway

  “They’re at a party. Some guy is going into the Marines and they all wanted to celebrate. We probably won't get to be alone long though.” Tyler unlocked the front door and let me in. “Do you want anything to drink?”

  “Water would be fine, thanks. I'm going to use the bathroom,” I said as I started to walk to the bathroom that was down the hall.

  He laughed, and I turned around to ask him what for.

  “I keep forgetting that you know this place almost as well as I do.”

  “It was like my second home; you never forget your home.”

  He nodded. “Hey, don’t use the downstairs bathroom. Jason said it’s messed up.”

  Thankful for the mess I had probably just avoided, I headed upstairs to Tyler's room, finding his bathroom and shutting the door behind me.

  I peed for what seemed like minutes, all from too much beer and water at the concert. But I had been thirsty. I stood up and flushed the toilet and walked over the sink.

  As I was washing my hands I glanced in the mirror in the mirror, and smiled. I looked happy. I could see it in my eyes, my cheeks even. This was good. It was what I wanted.

  Taking one last look in the mirror, I walked over to open the door and as I did, my heart stopped when I came face to face with Tyler who had his hand in the air, ready to knock.

  I grabbed my chest. “Fuck, you scared me!”

  “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just…”

  “What?” I asked as he walked toward me.

  His eyes met mine, and I sucked in my breath in surprise as his hand slipped around my waist, pulling me closer. He ran his fingers up my back and underneath the band of my bra. He lightly kissed me once and pulled back to gauge my reaction. Biting my lip, I knew I wanted more of him. I wanted to taste him and feel him. I ran my fingers up his neck and through his hair, pulling him closer to me as his hands gripped the back of my thighs, lifting me up onto the marble countertop. He was standing in between my legs which were wrapped around his waist pulling him closer to me. I heard him groan as his lips attacked mine in a frenzy, our hands touching and grabbing, pushing and pulling.

  “Is this what made you blush?” He kissed my neck all the way up to my lips. “Is this what you were thinking about? Me kissing you here, and here?”

  I nodded, breathlessly, wanting more.

  He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up, walking us out of the bathroom and into his room.

  Laying us down, he on top, I knew I was in the perfect position to do what I wanted— to take his shirt off. I scratched my fingers against his shirt, sad that his chest was still covered. My fingers reached the bottom hem of his shirt and I moaned as I tilted my hips into his center, his grip on my hips tightening at the motion. His lips found my neck and kissed, biting down gently. Just enough to make me go crazy.

  As I started to pull up his shirt, he abruptly grabbed my wrist and pulled away from me. My eyes opened quickly and met his, the sound of our harsh panting filling the room as we tried to calm ourselves down. I tried to ignore the feelings of rejection as the strained look on his face made me feel awkward.

  “Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry,” I stammered as I was still in a fog from the kiss he had just placed on my neck. I pulled myself away from him.

  He stood up and adjusted his shirt. “No, Bryn, please don't. It's not you at all, look, there’s somethi—”

  “Damnit, Jason! Get off the fucking table!” We heard Eva shouting from downstairs, startling us both before Tyler could finish his sentence. Then there was a few knocks, no, pounds, on the door.

  Guess they were home.

  “Tyler, are you home? A little help here, please!”

  I was adjusting my shorts when Eva opened the door. “Oh, shit! Sorry, you guys!” She giggled, looking away and smiling. “Continue on with whatever you were doing. We can handle this.”

  I blushed and fixed my hair quickly, knowing that it had no doubt been messed up, Tyler looked at me with an apologetic look on his face and then left to go tend to Jason.

  “So?” Eva asked.

  I shrugged. “Nothing to talk about,” I said, annoyed at the whole situation and also confused.

  Eva and I walked downstairs, and I was definitely not prepared for what I saw. Jason was on top of the kitchen table in nothing but his boxers, swinging his shirt around his head. He was singing something, but I couldn't make out the words. I laughed, my hand shooting to my mouth as I watched Tyler try to coax him down while Eva picked up the clothes that were strewn all over the floor.

  “Evaaa, why don't you come up here and strip with me, just like you did the other night! Come on, baby!” he said, swinging his hips as if he were dancing to music that we could all hear.

  Eva slapped her palm to her forehead, and Charlotte laughed hard.

  When Jason touched the waistband of his boxers, I closed my eyes as I and everyone around me screamed, “No!”

  I looked through my fingers, hoping it was safe and saw Tyler yanking Jason down, stumbling and falling into Tyler in the meantime.

  “Tyler, get off of me!” Jason said, as though Tyler had other intentions with falling on him.

  Jason stood up and looked around at us. “I don't feel so good,” he said, as Tyler instantly sprinted to grab the trashcan. He made it back just in time as Jason bent over, emptying his stomach into the small bin.

  I shuddered at the sight. Throwing up was definitely something I couldn’t handle. I hadn't thrown up in about ten years, and I had no intentions starting now. I quickly backed out of the room, walking down the hall and opening the first door I could find.

  I sat down on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands. I was driving myself crazy thinking about Tyler and what had happened, or didn’t happen, between us. I couldn't figure out what had gone wrong. I had actually opened up to him, and the rejection I felt left an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

  As soon as I stood up to leave, the door opened and Tyler slipped in, shutting the door behind him. He kept his eyes on
me as he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked toward me.

  We didn't speak for a few moments, watching each other, wondering if the other would say something first. Tyler finally broke the silence.

  “I was hoping you would be in here," he said as he sat down next to me.

  I wasn't going to deny the magnetic pull I felt toward him, but I needed to get out before things got even more complicated. I thought about finding Charlotte to let her know I was leaving but decided against it.

  I stood up, leaving him on the bed. "I'm going to get going, I think." I shut the door behind me before he could say anything and slipped out the back door so no one would see me and started the walk home. As I reached the end of the Wilson’s road a couple of minutes later, a motorcycle pulled up next to me.

  “Bryn?” I heard a familiar voice and I stopped, watching as the person lifted their motorcycle helmet, and I was greeted with Ashton's confused expression. “What are you doing out here? It's one in the morning…here, take my helmet and get on, I'll take us home.”

  I nodded, walking over to the back, and hopped on, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Well, I just had an interesting night,” I explained as I gave Ashton a small smile in appreciation. “Thanks for the ride.”

  We got to my house and I unlocked the front door, running inside as the hot, thick air was getting to me; the ride on the motorcycle hadn’t helped much. I walked up the stairs and into my room, saying goodnight to Ashton as he shut the French doors to the dining room.

  How the fuck could I fix this?

  TYLER:

  “How the fuck am I going to fix this, Char?” I asked as I paced my room, shoving my hands in my hair.

  Charlotte handed me a glass of water. “Well, first you need to clue me in on what happened.”

  I groaned. “We had a great night, like fucking amazing. We came back here and we were doing stuff, but when she reached down to take my shirt off, I freaked.”

  She made a face at my description. “Don't need all of the details.”

  I gave her a look, and she put her hands up in defense. “Okay, okay, sorry.”

  I paced around the room for a little, reliving everything in my head.

  “Can I ask you something?”