by Beth Maria
I’m led toward the changing room, where the assistant hangs up the dress before closing the curtain behind her, telling me to call her if I need anything. I hurry out of my clothes, putting them into a pile on the floor before standing in my underwear and just staring at the dress before me. I’m too scared to try it on in case I ruin it. What happens if it breaks or I make a tear in it? Oh God, I refuse to think like that anymore. Just put the dress on slowly and carefully, and everything will be fine, I try telling myself.
It takes forever getting into the dress as I’m trying to make sure that I don’t ruin it.
“You ready yet?” Maisie asks from the other side of the curtain.
“One minute.” I need to have a look first.
I turn to face the mirror, which causes tears to burn my eyes. It’s perfect. It’s exactly what I envisioned wearing on my wedding day. The embroidery is beautiful and elegant. I spin around, checking out the back, and the back is just as beautiful. The corset closure compliments my back amazingly, as does the rest of the dress. It makes my figure look sexy, with no fat bits showing at all.
I figure it’s time to show Maisie before she comes barging into the cubicle.
I open the curtain and wait nervously for her verdict. It means a lot to me what she thinks because I know she will be completely honest and tell me if it looks like shit.
“Oh, Chloe, you look beautiful,” Maisie admires, her eyes getting teary exactly like mine did.
“Do you think Jake will like it?”
“Are you crazy? After he sees you in this dress, he’s going to want to leave as soon as the wedding has finished, to get you undressed. It’s going to be torture for him!” We both laugh. I can just imagine Jake being sexually frustrated because we can’t leave our guests.
“This is the one then?” I ask, already knowing that I’m not going to change my mind. This is THE dress for me. I couldn’t imagine myself wearing anything else now.
“Definitely. Without a doubt, chica.”
I give Maisie a smile before going back into the changing room to get undressed. Now that I’m wearing it, I don’t want to take it off. I want to wear it forever. Is that allowed?
“You start trying on your dresses. Otherwise, we’re going to be here a while, with the amount you have to choose from,” I tell Maisie, trying to get my dress off.
“Good thinking, batman.”
Hanging the dress back onto the hanger and carefully placing it in the bag, sadness weeps over me. Jake and I haven’t even decided on a date yet, so who knows when I’m going to be able to wear this beautiful dress next.
I don’t even know how much this dress costs. What if it’s past our budget price? We don’t even have a budget price yet. Fuck.
“Excuse me,” I ask the assistant who got me the dress.
“Yes, ma’am?” she replies, turning to face me with a warm smile on her face. It makes a change from the annoyed smile she was giving me not even ten minutes ago. This smile actually makes her look really pretty, and she has such amazing teeth, all straight and bright white…
I mentally shake my thoughts, getting back to the question at hand.
“How much is this dress? I forgot to ask.” I hope and pray that I can afford it, because otherwise, I’ll definitely be wearing that garbage bag.
“This dress is a designer dress by Maggie Sottero. It has embellished lace with an asymmetrical wrap, and sash detail cinching the waist, finished with a strapless sweetheart neckline and signature corset closure, just in case you wanted to know.” I nod, trying to act like I understand what she just said, when in actual fact, I have no freaking clue. “This dress is $1,500.”
I think I just fainted. I can’t afford that! It’s typical, isn’t it? The only dress that I’ve actually liked, I can’t freaking afford. I just want to scream from the rooftops; I’m that annoyed. Oh God, I’m turning into bridezilla, and I’m not even close to getting married.
The assistant must see the problem written all over my face as her eyes convey pity before she tells me, “I’ll put it over here. Just let me know if you would like to buy it.” I nod sadly, already knowing that it’s not going to happen. At that price, I’m not going to be able to wear my dream dress. We shouldn’t have paid so much for the car. We should have put some aside to pay toward the wedding. I mean, come on; how the hell did we think that we were going to be able to afford to buy a new car, pay for a wedding, and look after a newborn? Babies aren’t cheap. Every penny that I have goes toward diapers or milk. There’s no way I’ve got that kind of money to pay for a dress that I’m only going to get to wear once. I’ll just wear one of my white sundresses. It will have to do. My son is more important than some dress.
“What do you think of this one?” Maisie asks, grabbing my attention and making all thoughts of my not to be wedding dress go right out the window.
I take a few steps toward her to get a better look, cocking my head to the side. I don’t know what it is, but something about it just isn’t right.
“Hmm…” I say quietly to myself.
“Do you see it too? I don’t know what it is, but something about it just isn’t right. I just wanted your opinion to see if you knew what it was, but I can see that you don’t. I’ll try another.” Before I can reply, she’s shutting the curtain, leaving me left wondering what was wrong with it. Damn it, my brain is fried. I need more sleep.
I spend the next forty-five minutes sitting outside the changing room while waiting for Maisie to find the perfect dress. So far, we’ve had ones that we really like and ones that we really hate. Now we’re down to the last dress, and this is Maisie’s favorite. I’m just hoping it’s her favorite on, or we will be checking out another wedding shop tomorrow, no doubt, and I’m really not in the mood for that.
I pull out my cell phone to check if anybody has called me. Nope. Nothing. Nobody wants to speak to me today it seems. Granted, Maisie’s with me, but Jake could have at least texted me and asked how I am. I haven’t spoken to that damn fool today.
Just as I’m about to send a text off to him, asking him what time he’s picking Noah up, Maisie pulling the curtain back grabs my attention.
Wow. Just wow. She looks stunning, like a princess. I can tell she is thinking the exact same thing by the tears that are misting up her eyes, threatening to spill and ruin her make-up.
“You look beautiful.”
“I think this is the one. I knew as soon as I saw it, and putting it on only revealed what I knew from the start.”
“Oh yes, that is absolutely fitting for you. It completes you beautifully,” the assistant cuts in, looking at Maisie in awe.
“I’ll take it. How much is it?” I look at Maisie with my jaw practically hanging on the floor. If mine was expensive, I’m almost positive hers is going to be roughly the same. How the fuck can she afford this?
“Like your friend’s here, this dress is also a designer dress by Maggie Sottero. It has lace motifs that wind their way down the front of this asymmetrically ruched Paris Chiffon sheath gown, with a sweetheart neckline and corset back closure.” I take a sneak peak at Maisie to see if she understands what she’s talking about, however, one look tells me that she doesn’t have a clue either. I try hard not to laugh, but a snicker escapes instead. The assistant notices, giving me an annoyed glare. Uptight bitch. She really doesn’t like me, does she? Oh well, who is she from Adam and Eve? She’s nobody I’m ever going to bump into again, that’s for sure. “As I was saying, this dress is a little less than the other dress, pricing at $1,300.”
Maisie nods, letting the information sink it. “I’ll take it,” she says, not even ten seconds later.
“Great! It doesn’t look like it needs any fittings done to it. Would you like to take it now or collect it at another date?”
“I’ll collect it next week, if that’s okay? I need to get some shoes and a veil, so I’ll collect the dress when I shop for that.”
“Perfect. When you’re done, just bring the
dress over to me, and I’ll take down your details so that we know that this dress is sold.”
Ten minutes later, we’re at the checkout with Maisie paying $1,300 on her bankcard. I need to have a chat with this woman to find out where she’s getting this money from.
“Are you not getting your dress?” she asks when she finally notices that I’m not paying and that my dress is nowhere in sight.
“I’ll tell you in the car,” I whisper, not wanting the assistant to hear that I can’t afford it. Maisie doesn’t say anymore on the subject until we get into the car, where she tells me to spill it, so I do.
“Maisie, that dress is $1,500. I can’t afford to pay that much, and I don’t even like any of the other dresses in that shop. Not one other dress caught my attention until that one, and do you know the thing that sucks? It’s that I can’t have it. Am I being selfish? Probably yes, though isn’t it what all girls want, to look like a princess on their wedding day? I’m going to end up wearing one of my white sundresses on my wedding day. It’s not what I’ve always dreamed about, Maisie. I guess I can live with that though because I have my beautiful son. That’s all that matters.” I turn to face the front, not wanting to talk about this anymore. I just want to go home and spend some time with my son.
“Chloe-” Maisie starts solemly, but I cut her off with a flick of my hand before she can say anything else. I don’t want her pity.
She takes the hint, quietly driving me home. When we arrive, she promises to call me later, before driving in the direction of Jesse’s.
I stand staring at the dust in the road where her car was not even ten seconds ago, trying to compose myself. I need to go inside and act like everything is fine and like I’ve found the perfect wedding dress, when in actuality, I haven’t.
Chapter 22
Jake
I’ve been waiting for hours for Chloe to get home, to be able to smell her intoxicating scent and to be able to kiss her delectable lips that fit perfectly on mine. So when I see her getting out of Maisie’s car, my heart skips a beat. That is until I see her still standing in the same spot long after Maisie has left.
I’m just about to go outside to see what’s happened when my cell phone rings in my pocket. Seeing that it’s Maisie, I answer, hoping maybe she can tell me what’s wrong with Chloe.
“Hey,” I answer, my eyes still focused on my beautiful woman who’s staring into space.
“I just wanted to warn you that Chloe might be a bit off tonight,” Maisie says, her voice missing the usual happiness it usually holds. They should both be happy, considering they went wedding dress shopping, not acting the way that they are; like someone kicked their puppy.
“What happened, Maisie?”
I hear her let out a huge sigh before explaining.
The whole time she’s explaining, my heart feels like it’s breaking into a million pieces. I hate it when my girl is upset, especially when there isn’t any reason to be. I should have let her know that I’ve been saving ever since I was younger for this moment. I’m not saying I have all the money, per se, but I have some stashed away since I always knew that I was going to marry her one day. I wanted to be able to buy her the wedding dress of her dreams, and now I can.
Keeping my eyes on Chloe, I tell Maisie my plan. We sort everything out- who is going to pick up the dress, and where we’re going to keep it hidden until it’s time to show her. With Maisie’s help, I know we will be able to pull this surprise off.
Ending the call, I put my cell back into my pocket, feeling hopeful. Chloe may be sad for a while because she doesn’t know that she has no reason to be. It will be worth it all in the end, just to see her face.
I cannot wait to marry her.
“Come on, little man. Let’s go give mommy cuddles to cheer her up,” I coo to Noah, picking him up and taking him outside to see his mommy.
Chloe doesn’t show any signs that she knows we’re approaching. She’s probably so lost in her own little world that she’s not paying attention.
“Hello, Mommy. Can I have a cuddle?” I coo in a baby voice, pretending to be Noah.
Showing some signs that there’s life in there, she turns around, blinking a few times before opening up her arms to hold our son, as if on autopilot.
“We missed you,” I whisper, joining in the cuddle and smelling her intoxicating scent that I’ve been dreaming about all day. She smells exactly as I remembered, sweet like candy, and boy do I love candy!
“I missed you both too.”
I turn Chloe’s face toward mine, planting a tender kiss like I’ve been wanting to do ever since I woke up and found her side of the bed cold. “Let’s go inside.”
We all go inside, where Noah goes into his bouncy chair. His face lights up at seeing all of the toys hanging from the bar. It melts my heart every time that kid smiles.
Spotting Chloe in the kitchen getting a drink of water, I walk up behind her and put my arms around her waist. “How was shopping?” I ask, hoping she might let me in to what really happened. I want her to be able to confide in me.
“It was fine,” she replies robotically.
“Did you find a dress?”
I feel her body flinch in my arms, but I don’t let on that I noticed. She will tell me in her own time if she’s not ready to tell me now. As bad as it sounds, I know all this sadness will be worth it when she’s able to wear the wedding dress of her dreams at our wedding. And as much as I really want to tell her my plan, I want to surprise her. For that reason, I’m going to keep quiet.
“No, not yet. We’re going to go and check out a different store another day. I couldn’t find one that was perfect.” I don’t miss the way her voice cracks at the end.
Not risking speaking, for fear of giving anything away, I just nod my head.
“Come on. Let’s relax, order some food in, and watch a movie. Sound good?”
“That sounds perfect.” Chloe sighs, leaning into me.
For the rest of the night, we eat takeout and watch the film Taken, one of our favorites, before putting Noah in his crib. Once we get into bed ourselves, I try to take away her melancholy mood by making sweet, passionate love to the woman who is my entire world.
****
“You definitely know which dress she wanted, right? I don’t want to end up buying the wrong one,” I ask Maisie for the thousandth time since I picked her up not even twenty minutes ago.
“For crying out loud, Jake, yes, I know which dress she wanted! Please stop going on. You are driving me insane.”
“I just don’t want to end up getting the wrong dress, Maisie. You know that this means everything to her. You saw how she was yesterday. She was like that all night after you left, and she’s still like it today. I don’t know how much longer I can stand to see her like this without showing her the dress in advance and ruining the surprise.” I’ve been thinking about it all night and day.
Maisie suddenly stops, standing still on the sidewalk. “Jake, have you two even decided on a date?” People huff, getting annoyed at having to walk around her, though it doesn’t faze her in the slightest; she’s a woman on a mission.
“No. No, we haven’t.” I try to rack my memory, but come up empty. “We haven’t even talked about when we want to get married.”
“Oh, for God’s sake! Even Jesse and I have decided on a date. We’re getting married next summer. Obviously, you can’t leave it that long, what with Chloe being depressed.” Maisie rolls her eyes at that statement, which I don’t find funny. I hate seeing my girl down. “So, you’re going to have to choose the date yourself and surprise her.” She looks at me expectantly.
“Oh no. No, no no. Nope, definitely not happening.” I shake my head adamantly.
“And why not?” Maisie asks, growing frustrated.
“Maisie, you know that every girl dreams of the perfect wedding day. How on earth am I supposed to know what Chloe wants her wedding to be like? What if I get it so terribly wrong that she decides that she doesn’t w
ant to marry me? Fuck, she would totally do that, and then I’ll be alone forever. Nope, I’ve made my mind up. It’s definitely not happening.”
Maisie shakes her head at me before playfully punching me in the stomach. “Oh, grow up, you big baby. You are not going to have to do it all by yourself. I will help you out. Chloe and I have spoken about this since we were kids, so I sort of have an idea of what she wants. Now, let’s go pick this dress up and make other arrangements for your wedding. We are going to have this wedding ready within the next few weeks, if it kills me.”
There isn’t any point in arguing with her. I won’t win. I’m getting married within the next few weeks, and even though I’m not jumping up and down, on the inside I’m doing a little happy dance. Chloe’s going to become mine earlier than I thought. She just doesn’t know it yet.
After collecting the correct dress, to which I was told that under no circumstances was I allowed to look, we went to the venue where Maisie told me Chloe had shown an interest in getting married in. I don’t mind as long as we do get married so I’m able to call her mine for the rest of my days. After filling out some paperwork and meeting with the priest, it is finally confirmed that we are getting married in three weeks’ time. My world is about to become complete on Christmas Eve. It can’t come fast enough…
Epilogue
Three weeks later…
Chloe
It’s Christmas Eve, and in most places it would be snowing. Alas, I live in California, and we hardly ever see snow. I think I’ve only ever seen snow once, and that was only because I went on vacation for the holidays. I’m glad this year that we don’t get snow. With having a baby, I don’t have to worry about falling over on my ass, and I can also take Noah out for some fresh air without risking the chance of him getting frostbite. I’m very responsible now.
It’s been a long three weeks since I went dress shopping. I’m not going to lie; I’ve been a bit down ever since, knowing that I’m not going to be able to wear my dream dress. I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t let it get me down today, though. It’s a special time of the year. It’s Noah’s first Christmas, and I plan on making it the best Christmas ever for him. I know he’s not quite two months old yet, and he most probably won’t remember it, but I will. I’m going to take hundreds of photos over the next few days to show him when he’s older.
