Always Rayne (The ALWAYS SOMETIMES NEVER Rock Star Romance Series)

by Sierra Avalon

  Five

  “Have time to finish that conversation we started?” Nic plops down in the seat next to me.

  “I was hoping to get some reading in,” I admit. “I’m not much of a flyer.”

  He laughs. “Have you ever been on a private plane before?”

  I shake my head. “I’ve only been on an airplane once in my life. My parents liked to take vacations within driving distance. But we did take a trip up to Seattle once for my cousin’s wedding.”

  “What were you planning on reading?” he looks at me expectantly. “I just happen to also have a book with me. Although I’ll probably fall asleep before I get much reading in.”

  “You may want to consider spending more nights sleeping and fewer nights engaging in bedroom gymnastics. Just a suggestion.”

  “Maybe you need to spend more time engaging in bedroom gymnastics and less time sleeping. Just a suggestion.”

  I pull out a paperback copy of Joyland by Stephen King. Much to my surprise when I look over at Nic he’s holding the same book and giving me his signature grin.

  “Were you spying on me? How did you know what book I was reading?”

  “I’m not spying on you. Although I wish I would have thought of it. It’s probably a great way to get into a girl’s panties. But I really am reading this book.”

  He opens the book to where he’s dog-eared the page. “See?”

  “Okay, fine. You’re really reading the book and not trying to get into my panties.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “Hold on. I never said I wasn’t trying to get into your panties. I just said I was really reading the book and I wasn’t using it as a ploy.”

  I can feel my cheeks getting hot. I know I’m probably blushing.

  “So what are my chances?” Nic asks.

  I frown. “Of what?”

  “Getting into your panties?”

  “How about slim?” I’m not sure why I say that because it’s not completely true. I’m beginning to have a few thoughts about Nic that include him and my panties.

  “And what do you consider slim? Maybe ten percent? I’ll take those odds. What were the chances that a guy like me from the wrong side of the tracks would ever become a superstar?”

  “There you go with the clichés again. And just what do you mean by wrong side of the tracks? Bad neighborhood? Dysfunctional family? Could you be a little more descriptive?”

  “I could but I’m not going to. I could check all of the above if I wanted to.”

  “Don’t want to share any of your dark past with me?”

  “I’d rather share my bright future.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, not exactly a cliché but a very corny line.”

  He shakes his head. “Tough crowd. You really know how to undermine a guy’s confidence.”

  “You have plenty of confidence to spare. I could undermine ninety percent of your confidence and you’d still be the cockiest guy I’ve ever met.”

  “You’re killing me, Shakes. You really are.”

  “You mean there’s actually a female on the planet who’s going to make you work for it?” Raven takes a seat on the opposite side of us. “I didn’t think I’d ever see the day.”

  Xander doesn’t waste any time taking a seat next to Raven. He slings an arm over her chair and I’m surprised when she cuddles up next to him. She doesn’t exactly come across as the cuddling type. I notice that Xander also pulls her close to him. If I didn’t know better and had just met them I’d think they were a couple.

  When Leo takes a seat on the other side of Nic I brace myself for some kind of ridiculous or obnoxious comments.

  “Nic hasn’t joined the mile high club yet. Maybe Harper can help him out.” He laughs at his own joke but Nic just glares at him.

  Looking a bit uncomfortable, Leo slumps in his chair. “Just kidding, Bro.”

  “So what’s your friend Brooke been up to?” Leo glances in my direction.

  “Same old Brooke stuff. Work. Sleep. Probably more sleeping than working. Why are you so interested?”

  Leo shrugs. “She got a boyfriend?”

  I laugh. “What do you think?”

  He shakes his head like he really doesn’t have a clue.

  “She slept with you a few days ago. She doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

  Nic laughs. “Fucking a guy in a band and having a boyfriend are definitely not mutually exclusive.”

  “Brooke isn’t attached,” I assure him. “And I don’t think she wants to be any time soon.”

  “That’s cool,” Leo says.

  When I look over at Raven and Xander I can see they’ve fallen asleep in each other’s arms. They look peaceful together.

  “I think they’ve got the right idea,” Nic whispers in my ear.

  “I have to admit, a nap does sound tempting.”

  Nic taps his shoulder. “It’s not much of a pillow but it’s all yours.”

  “Thanks but I’m okay.” I lean back in my chair and close my eyes.

  As I begin the drift off to sleep I can feel my body swaying closer to Nic. I’m not sure I want to lay my head on his shoulder but I’m too sleepy to stop myself. When my head finally rests on him he lays his head on mine. It feels a lot more comfortable than I want it to.

  I’m much too tired to give it any more thought. I decide to take Brooke’s advice for once in my life and be young, go with the flow and not overthink every moment of my life.

  I just enjoy Nic’s warmth until I fall asleep.

  Six

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Raven eyes me like she usually does with equal parts contempt and suspicion. “It depends.”

  “On what?”

  “Are you talking to me as a reporter or just talking?”

  “Just talking.”

  She heaves an exaggerated sigh. “Sure, why not. It’ll be my fun for the day.”

  “I’m glad I can entertain you.”

  “So what’s up?”

  I’m not sure how to ask what I want to ask. I’m not even sure why I want to ask it. But I want to know if she’s sleeping with Nic. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much. Nic sleeps with a lot of girls. But I know he doesn’t care about them. I can tell he cares about Raven. All of the guys do. I’m not even sure why that makes a difference.

  “Why do you do—what you do?”

  She gives me a sly little smile. “And what exactly is it that I do that you’re so curious about?”

  I had a feeling she was going to make me say it. Kind of like Risky Business. How are you ever going to do it if you can’t say it?

  “Why do you sleep with the band?”

  She laughs. “Because I can.”

  Not exactly the answer I was looking for. I’m actually not sure what I was looking for but I feel like I’ve made a big mistake even thinking that Raven would have a serious conversation with me. “Maybe I’d better go.”

  “Sit down.”

  Raven isn’t laughing anymore. She’s dead serious. I sit on the bed next to her.

  “I’ve been with the band since they first got started. That was twelve years ago. Before anyone knew who Nic Rayne was and nobody ever heard of Always Rayne. We’ve all been together since we were kids. We all grew up in the same shitty neighborhood. We all had even shittier parents. We basically all raised ourselves. The guys all had musical talent. I was talented in another way, if you know what I mean. We all use the talents we have to get where we want to go.”

  “But why all of them?”

  “Because I love all of them and they love me. I know it would be really disgusting to tell you I’m like their little sister because I fuck all of them but that’s how much we all love each other.”

  I really want to ask her about Nic but I’m really not sure why. It’s not like I’m actually considering having sex with him? Am I?

  “Do you still sleep with all of them?”

  “You’re allowed to say fuck you know. Your mouth isn’t go
ing to spontaneously combust the minute the word escapes your lips.”

  I try to say the word but it just won’t come out of my mouth. My lips are just moving without any sound like a badly dubbed foreign film.

  “You want to know if I’m fucking Nic?”

  I nod.

  She shakes her head. “Not in a while.”

  Of course I wonder how long a while is. A while to me is the two months I’ve gone without sex since Jackson left for Harvard. For Raven a while could be days or even hours for all I know.

  “I’m not sure why I’m telling you this. I don’t do friendships and especially not with girls. I’m close to the guys because they’re like my family. They’re actually the closest thing to a family I’ve ever had in my life. When I’m not sleeping with one of the guys, I screen the girls they hook up with. Not just anyone gets inside a hotel room with them. I keep track of everyone they’re with. If I don’t like someone, if I smell trouble, I tell the girl to take a hike. And the guys listen to me. They trust me. Like your friend who hooked up with Leo. Brooke. She’s pretty cool. I could tell Leo was into her right away. And I could tell she’s a classy college girl. She’s not some skanky little whore.”

  I’m sure to Raven there’s a compliment in there somewhere but I think we’re on completely different planets when it comes to how we think about sex and relationships. “I’m sure Brooke would appreciate that.”

  “Nic is the smartest guy I’ve ever met in my life. If he didn’t have such a fucked up family life, he probably would have gone to college. Maybe even some place like Harvard. But then he probably wouldn’t have started Always Rayne and he wouldn’t be Nic Rayne the superstar.”

  “He hasn’t told me anything about his family or what his life was like growing up. He kind of avoids the subject.” At least now I know why.

  “He’s never had anyone he could really trust, except for Xander, Leo and me. But I know he wants someone special. He’s almost thirty. I know he wants a family. A real family. His own family. Something that he’s never really had. The problem is that he’s never found anyone who didn’t bore the shit out of him.”

  I furrow my brow. I’m not sure where this conversation is headed but it’s kind of making me nervous.

  “Until now.” She stares at me like I’m supposed to understand what she’s talking about.

  She laughs. “You don’t really think you’re here to write a story about the band?”

  That’s exactly what I think. But if I’m not here to write about the band what exactly am I doing here?

  “Nic Rayne can have any woman he wants. Literally. Actress. Model. Professional athlete. Anyone. And he’s tried. Believe me. But he hasn’t found anyone who is able to keep up with him. He hasn’t found anyone who stimulates him where he needs it the most.”

  She points to her temple. “Up here.”

  “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen it,” she continues. “The same scenario thousands of times. A beautiful girl who Nic finds attractive. Girls rarely have any trouble stimulating his little head. And I can see it in his face. A glimmer of hope. Like maybe this will be the one. That maybe this girl will be different. And he’ll toss a few balls to her. Maybe ask her if she’s read the latest Pulitzer winner. And one of two things always happens. Either she’ll laugh and say she has no idea what a Pulitzer is and then try to change the subject. Or she’ll stick her breasts in his face in an effort to change the subject. And I know they never see it but I do. The look of disappointment on his face. They’ve dropped the ball and don’t even know it. Then his eyes just glaze over like he’s so fricken bored he wants to kill himself. And then he gets drunk and has some fun and tries to forget that he’s brilliant because he can’t find another person on the planet who can keep up with him and his giant brain.”

  I gulp. “Donna Tartt.”

  “What are you babbling about?” She looks confused.

  “She won this year’s Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. For The Goldfinch.”

  “And that’s why you’re here.”

  “Because I write about books for an online arts and entertainment magazine and I read a lot?”

  “Because you don’t bore the shit out of him. Not only do you catch every toss but you toss the ball right back. No girl has ever done that before.”

  “Okay. I can talk about books. And a lot of other things.”

  She nods. “Because you stimulate his little head and his big head. You’re exactly what he’s been looking for practically his whole life.”

  “No.” I shake my head in disbelief.

  She raises an eyebrow. “Yes.”

  “I get the whole book thing. I read a lot. He likes books. We do have a lot to talk about. But I think you’re wrong about the—um—other thing.”

  She laughs. “You can say it. The little head. He doesn’t just want to talk to you, Harper. He wants to fuck you too.”

  I swallow. Hard. “That’s not possible. I mean. Look at me.”

  She looks me up and down. “I’m not sure why you look the way you do. Honestly, you look like a hurricane blew through Goodwill and a bunch of random clothes just landed on you.”

  I’m used to people insulting my wardrobe choices but that’s by far the most creative insult I’ve ever heard.

  “I actually borrowed these clothes from my roommate.”

  “Brooke may have purchased the clothes you’re wearing but I don’t think she bought all of those things at the same time, and I definitely don’t think she wore them together.”

  She’s right. I don’t have fashion sense. I just couldn’t remember which pieces went together.

  She’s eyeing me again. But at least not with contempt. This time it’s more like sympathy. “You’re like one of those beautiful girls that they always have in teen movies who they try to make into an ugly duckling by throwing on a pair of thick glasses but it never quite works. You can still tell she’s gorgeous even with the glasses.”

  “I don’t wear glasses.”

  She smiles. “You know what I mean. You try to hide behind these ridiculous clothes like you’re trying to make yourself less attractive.”

  I’m beginning to freak out just a little bit. No one has ever used the word beautiful to describe me before. Someone who looks like her can’t really believe someone who looks like me is beautiful. And I never thought I was trying to hide anything.

  “You kind of remind me of Katie Lawrence.”

  “You know Katie Lawrence?”

  She looks at me like I’m stupid. “I know everyone in Hollywood. They all want to be with Rayne like it’s some kind of status symbol to sleep with him.”

  “He’s slept with Katie Lawrence?” It doesn’t seem possible. She’s America’s sweetheart.

  “Oh, hell no. Katie would never sleep with Rayne. She doesn’t date actors. And she’s getting married anyway. To a cop. As if I could love her anymore. She basically told everyone in Hollywood to go fuck themselves. The point I was trying to make is that she’s a great-looking girl but she kind of hides behind this girl-next-door kind of image. Like you hide behind this hippie librarian image. Anyway you’re way better looking than Katie Lawrence.”

  Everyone adores Katie Lawrence. She’s as big a star as Nic Rayne. Raven can’t possibly think I’m more attractive than Katie Lawrence.

  Or that Nic Rayne finds me attractive.

  He may find me interesting. That I can buy. I like to think I can engage in stimulating conversation. But sexually attractive? Unlikely.

  “Are you questioning me?” Raven looks pissed.

  I shake my head. “Why would you say that?”

  “I’m not brilliant like you and Rayne but I know people. And I know the look of doubt on your face.”

  I heave a sigh. “I think you’re wrong about the little head part.”

  “I’m never wrong about that, Sweetheart. Nic definitely wants to fuck you.”

  I’m starting to feel a little lightheaded. It’s probably a res
ult of the massive confusion I’m experiencing.

  “Can I be really frank with you?”

  As if she hasn’t already…“Sure.”

  “I’ve never seen Nic want anyone the way he wants you.”

  I can feel my chest begin to tighten and I feel like I can’t breathe. That’s not possible. Nic Rayne can’t want me…can he?

  “Harper.”

  I must have zoned out for a moment because Raven is giving me a dirty look.

  “Sorry, what?”

  “Nic always gets what he wants.”

  ***

  “Yes, sir,” I say as I end my call with Luke.

  He’s definitely not happy with me right now. We’re in Phoenix and I was supposed to have an outline to him already. Unfortunately, I haven’t even started working on it.

  Maybe because I still have no idea what I’m going to write.

  Luke said the investors are getting nervous. They’re not sure I’m going to get the exposé they want. Luke doesn’t want them to bail.

  I get it. He’s running a business. But I feel like all I’m doing is chasing my tail…and starting to spout cheesy clichés just like Nic. I know there’s only one remedy for the mess I’m in.

  I need to find Nic and nail him down on the outline for the story. But I have no idea where he is. And trying to nail him down on anything is worse than trying to nail Jello to the wall.

  At least there’s no shortage of bad clichés in my future…

  I knock on Leo and Xander’s door first. Leo answers. He’s wearing nothing but boxer briefs and he’s rubbing the sleep from his eyes

  The guys had another long and busy night with the concert in Phoenix and the after parties.

  I notice Leo’s got a lot more tattoos than I ever imagined. There’s actually not much skin on his upper body that isn’t inked.

  “What time is it?” He yawns.

  “Past noon.”

  “I guess we better get up. Maybe get breakfast. Are they still serving breakfast? Maybe we’ll get lunch.”

  He’s obviously quite comfortable standing half-naked in front of me even though I’m not.