Promise Me Eternity

by Ian Fox

  “It’s true that my wife and I had an argument every once in a while. And it’s also true that I said I’d like to cut her throat back then, but I didn’t mean it.” Then he talked about his work, mentioning he did his job with the greatest amount of commitment.

  “I confess that I didn’t check whether that patient was allergic to iodine. It was a mistake for which I’m deeply sorry. But that was the only case in which I endangered a patient’s life.”

  Finally, he repeated that he didn’t kill his wife and believed that the murderer was still out there somewhere. As he was leaving the stand, the courtroom became quiet. He didn’t dare look left or right because he felt sick and was scared he wouldn’t even make it to his chair.

  A week later, the courtroom was full to overflowing. A few million people were in front of their TV sets at home, waiting to hear the court’s verdict. Ever since Helen’s murder, Simon Patterson had been the main topic of debate in many bars, homes, and elsewhere. Everyone was horrified by the fact that such a highly educated and well-mannered man could murder his wife in such a terrible way. It was worse than if the crime had been committed by an uneducated alcoholic.

  Some thought he should get the death sentence, some had already sentenced him to life imprisonment, while others maintained that he wouldn’t get more than ten years in jail. Now the day had finally come and Judge Josepha Alford would read the verdict.

  “The jury has made its decision,” she stated. “Dr. Simon Patterson is found guilty of second degree murder. The Medford District Court thus sentences him to twenty years’ imprisonment. An appeal can be lodged …”

  He felt like a sharp blade had sliced him in half. Twenty years in prison, he repeated to himself. He turned to his lawyer, who was already tidying away his papers. Returning his look, the lawyer shrugged his shoulders.

  Then Dr. Patterson turned toward the public benches, where people were looking at him in disgust and some of them were shouting loudly. Most were disappointed with the verdict and they showed it. They’d expected a harsher punishment. One of them even dragged his finger across his throat and pointed at Simon, indicating what sentence would be suitable for him. Luckily, two policemen came to take Dr. Patterson away. His eyes searched the crowd one last time, thinking that Christine could be sitting there, but she wasn’t. Let her go to hell!

  Chapter 96

  _______________________

  The prison cell was no bigger than six by eight feet. This was the third cell they had moved him to. They kept transferring prisoners as if they didn’t want any relationships to form between them. Simon Patterson had the privilege of not sharing his cell with anyone. All those charged with murder were in smaller cells, but alone. There were three or four men squashed into some of the other cells.

  Nine months had passed since they had locked him up and taken away his freedom. At first it was terrible. He couldn’t accept that it had actually happened. The more he thought about it, the more depressed he got. The prison doctor prescribed antidepressants and tranquilizers.

  He needed some months to start adjusting to life in prison. He stopped taking the pills and started to live from day to day, scared and shocked by his fate.

  The fact that some of the other prisoners bullied him made his life even harder. They’d noticed that he was quiet and withdrawn, and that’s why he got on their nerves. Some cursed loudly when he passed, others whistled, some were mean enough to bump into him and then pretend it was an accident. But it wasn’t; they were only trying to provoke him to show his killer side. Of course, they never succeeded.

  Nine months later, there was an accident. While they were working in the laundry, two of the prisoners got into a fight and one of them got hit on the head with an iron. The guards quickly called the doctor, but he wasn’t in yet because he’d had a bad night.

  Simon went up to the victim and checked him out. “He has a fractured skull,” Simon called out, “he needs immediate medical attention.”

  The guards looked at each other, not knowing what to do. “It’s better that he helps him rather than no one at all. The prison doctor is obviously not going to be here quickly,” one of them said, and Simon went to work.

  Thanks to his intervention, the victim survived. From that day on, Simon was left alone. They stopped bullying him and even started to show him some respect.

  One prisoner had a heart attack and again Simon was the one to give him first aid. The prison doctor arrived after twenty minutes, at the end of his break.

  Since Simon was so polite and always prepared to help, he gained a good reputation among the guards. None of them treated him with disrespect or rudeness. Even though they all knew he was in for murder, they thought that his wife must have deserved it and were sure that he wasn’t that dangerous. This was very important, as the guards were the ones that decided who did what work. The troublesome prisoners had to clean toilets. They were given a small cloth and no cleaning solution, so they basically had to scrub the inside of the toilet with bare hands. Others had to clean the cells. They had to scrub the floor with rough brushes. It was humiliating work, for the guards would whistle and joke about how good it was to have a woman in the house. Simon had only been on toilet-cleaning duty once, a few days after his arrival. After that, he never had to do any disgusting jobs. He was always well-behaved and never caused problems. He mostly worked in the laundry, pressing sheets.

  The prisoners worked ten hours a day. After work, they had some free time. Some of them took a walk in the yard, some worked out in the small gym, while others sat and talked. Very few of them spent time in the library, which was surprisingly well-stocked. And that’s where Simon preferred to spend his free time. He read books which he had never read before because of his obsession with his laboratory work. He could also read the daily newspaper. That kept him in touch with what was going on outside.

  That’s how he became friendly with one of the guards, called Paul Tuttle. He was an older guy who could hardly wait to retire. He was nearly always on library duty because of his age, which had slowed him down. The third time Simon was there, they started chatting. Tuttle was extremely interested in why Simon had killed his wife. Simon didn’t know what to reply, so he said that she’d gotten on his nerves.

  “My wife gets on my nerves as well,” Tuttle answered calmly.

  Simon was astonished.

  “She keeps bugging me and nothing I do is OK. You won’t believe this, but I’ve often thought of doing the exact same thing as you did. Of course, I’d be a lot more careful. I wouldn’t let them catch me.”

  Dr. Patterson nearly told him that he didn’t kill her and that it was all a setup, but the guard wouldn’t let him get a word in.

  Tuttle said to Simon, “Yesterday, for instance, she said I was a pig. Can you imagine that? Just because I left my underpants on the washing machine. Why’s that such a big deal? I forgot them, so what? But she goes and calls me names because of it.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what to do. It’s getting worse and worse. She keeps humiliating me. You can’t even begin to imagine it. Last week I helped her with the shopping, but she started telling the butcher how useless I am and that I’ve never fixed anything in the house. I had to stand there for nearly ten minutes holding heavy bags while she was putting me down. How about that?”

  Simon could do nothing but nod. In front of him was an open book about modern psychology, but the guard wouldn’t take the hint and leave him alone.

  “I’m afraid I’ll snap once and hurt her.”

  Simon pushed the book away. “Why don’t you divorce her, then?”

  The guard took a step back. “I’m not doing that. She’d get half my property.”

  “Yes, but what’s property to you if—”

  “Never! When we married she had nothing. I inherited a house with land from my parents. I’m not letting her get her hands on it.”

  “It sounds pretty complicated.”

  “It is. And that’s how it’s going to st
ay. I’ve gotten used to the idea.”

  Obviously the conversation had no end. Looking out of the barred window, Simon changed the subject. “Lovely weather out there, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, you’re right, Doctor. It’s very nice out there. It hasn’t rained for two weeks.”

  “Don’t call me doctor. I’m finished with being a doctor. Call me Simon.”

  The guard gave him a strange look and shook his head. “No matter what you did, you’ll always stay a doctor in my estimation. It’s a respectable profession which requires good and capable people. Well, I’m definitely not that. Otherwise I wouldn’t be a prison guard.”

  “And look where I ended up. Locked up for twenty years. I don’t know if any of it makes any sense.”

  Paul put his hands on his hips. “Don’t say things like that. People can get used to anything. At first it’s hard, every prisoner misses the outside world, but slowly you’ll get used to the life here. You’ll always miss what goes on outside, but at the same time you won’t have such a bad time here. Know what I mean?”

  “I’m not so sure.”

  “It’s in people’s nature to forget. If, for instance, someone that you loved very much leaves you, it’s very hard at first. You don’t think you’ll make it. But slowly the pain fades. It still hurts, only less. That’s because you begin to forget. That’s the way it must be, otherwise we’d destroy ourselves.” He stopped for a moment. “The same goes for this place. You’ll begin to forget how it is outside and miss it less and less. Of course you’ll never completely forget, but it’ll get a lot easier.”

  Simon thought for a moment. “I doubt it. I keep on thinking about the beauty of nature. I imagine I’m lying on a beach, sunbathing. I sometimes think I’m in the mountains and things like that.”

  “That’s normal. It won’t go away. Look, there are different phases in your life. One was when you were still a child. In the second phase you married and lived with your wife. Now you’re in the third phase, which you will spend in prison. Then you’ll be left with the fourth phase, when you’ll be free to do whatever you want.”

  They talked every day, and Paul Tuttle always called him “Doctor.”

  Chapter 97

  _______________________

  Dr. Jerry Duncan had changed in the past ten months. His separation from Anita Carter had affected him greatly: he looked bad, he had lost weight, and hadn’t had his hair cut for at least four months.

  At first he still called her often. “Anita, I beg you, take me back, I can’t live without you.”

  She repeatedly told him to stop calling her, that it was over. “That was in the past, Jerry. Get it into your head, will you?”

  He tried to forget her. He kept telling himself he didn’t love her and that he’d soon meet someone else. The passing days felt like years. Every day was hell.

  “Time is your best friend,” she advised him. “The first six months are the hardest, then it’ll get easier.”

  “What do you mean, easier?”

  “The pain in your heart will ease. With time you’ll start to forget. It will all sort itself out.”

  As it still wasn’t better after ten months, he decided to wait for Anita in front of the hospital. When she sees me, she’ll remember our love. And we’ll be together again, he thought.

  “Jerry, what are you doing here?” she asked in surprise.

  Jerry couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was elegantly dressed and as she walked, the light from the setting sun reflected off her glossy black hair. Her high heels made her almost taller than him.

  He wanted to say something to her but the words got stuck; his tongue froze completely.

  “You don’t look so good.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not used to you unshaven and with long hair. You’ve also lost weight.” She didn’t tell him just how bad he looked.

  “But you look good, Anita. I had to see you.”

  She walked toward her car. “I’m in a hurry, Jerry. I need to be home in twenty minutes.”

  He felt like she’d stabbed him in the stomach. “What’s the hurry? We haven’t seen each other for more than nine months. I’d like to talk to you.”

  She came to a halt. “OK, I’m listening. What do you want?”

  Now he was confused. He’d hoped that he would be able to tell her that he couldn’t live without her and that he loved her ….

  “I …”

  “Yes?” She glanced at her watch. “I really have to go.”

  “I love you, Anita. I can’t live without you.”

  She blew out through her teeth. “I thought it would be something along those lines. Wasn’t I clear enough? Our relationship is over.” She looked him in the eye. “I don’t love you, Jerry, and I never did. I’m in another relationship now.”

  “But …”

  She put her hands on her belly. “I’m pregnant. Henry and I are expecting a baby.”

  “But Lawson’s married. You’ll always be his lover. I don’t want him to hurt you.”

  “Oh, come on. He sleeps over at my place every night and his wife has finally consented to a divorce. If everything goes as planned, we’ll be married in a month or two.”

  Tears were forming in his eyes and his voice shook as he spoke: “But Anita, I want to marry you, I love you.”

  “Forget me. I never loved you, Jerry. I’ve no time for wimps,” she said before getting into her car and driving off.

  “Who’s a wimp?” He punched a nearby wall hard enough for a bit of the stone to crumble off. “I’ll give you a wimp. I’m going to kill that frigging Lawson!”

  Chapter 98

  _______________________

  The policewoman was acting as his bodyguard for two weeks before he finally told her he was very much in love with her and wanted to marry her. Of course, Caroline was surprised to hear this.

  “But you don’t even know me,” she said to him. “We’ve only been together for two weeks. Things don’t go that fast. I have quite a few bad qualities as well, you know, and I don’t want you to regret your decision later.”

  “Everyone has bad qualities, including me,” Dr. Miner answered blissfully.

  “Here’s what I suggest. I like you too. You’re kind and you know how to listen. If you can put up with me for at least six months, then we can get married. Why not?”

  For a while he wrinkled his forehead, not knowing what to say.

  Caroline interrupted the silence. Taking hold of his hand, she pulled him onto her lap. She was so strong that he landed abruptly.

  “You’re mine now, honey,” Caroline said.

  She started kissing him as assertively as a man normally kisses a woman. From below her, he shook all over, looking into her eyes.

  The next day, Dr. Miner emptied the basement room of all its torture equipment, scared that Caroline would find it and leave him because of it.

  But many pleasant surprises awaited him over the next few months. Caroline got bossier. The more they got to know each other, the more relaxed she became and her voice was more imperative. “Look what a mess you’ve left in the kitchen. Clean it up, now,” she would order.

  And he’d run for a cotton cloth to quickly clean up the crumbs he’d left earlier while eating.

  “And make me a sandwich, I’m exhausted.”

  He made her a protein-rich sandwich with meat and eggs and vegetables. “Here you go, honey. Now tell me, how was work? Did you put anyone behind bars? You know how I love to listen.”

  “Yes, yes, I’ll tell you, but first bring me the salt. And you can put some black olives on my plate.”

  He found her so alluring when she was telling him her stories. “Oh honey, let’s go to bed,” he said.

  She took hold of his ear and shook him. “Is that all you can think about?” She passed him her empty plate. “Put this in the dishwasher, and then we can go to bed.”

  When six months had passed, he again asked her to mar
ry him.

  She answered, “You still don’t know everything about me. If you stick around for another six months, then there really won’t be any reasons against it.”

  He was disappointed, but didn’t dare contradict her.

  One evening, when Caroline started moving his furniture around, they had their first fight.

  Surprised that he dared speak to her in a harsh tone of voice, she said, “Don’t talk to me like that.”

  “I don’t want you moving furniture.”

  “Why not? What’s wrong with a little change?”

  “Nothing, but it’s my furniture.”

  Caroline wouldn’t give in. She stuck to the fact that she thought they should move the wardrobe, and he persisted in contradicting her. This went on until Caroline lost her patience and slapped his cheek. Robert Miner stopped abruptly and looked at her with fear in his eyes.

  “I don’t want you to move the wardrobe,” he said.

  She slapped him again.

  First his hands started to shake, then his legs, followed by his entire body and, lastly, his teeth began to chatter.

  Caroline apologized, afraid that he was going to have a heart attack.

  “Nothing’s wrong with me,” he told her. That’s when he admitted he was madly in love with her and was attracted to her strength and bossiness. He told her about his hidden masochistic dreams and she listened to him with astonishment.

  “Well, I never,” she finally said. “I thought you were having some kind of attack. So everything is OK. I’ll confess something too. Sometimes you get on my nerves so much it’s hard to hold back from beating you. Now I know what to do.”

  Again he started shaking. “Caroline, don’t you see how we fulfill each other? I’ve never loved a woman like I love you.”