Subject: Re: Coffee
Date: Wed 15th July 10.09
Hi Nathan.
Thank you for the delicious coffee. You’re very thoughtful. I’m so sorry but something has come up, and I won’t be able to meet you after work this evening. I hope we can do it another time.
All my best,
Eva
Evangeline Andrews
Administrator
Ignite Technologies
Block 6
Plaza Exchange
Dublin 2
Eva felt awful. She hated lying. She fought the temptation to swing her chair around and check if Nathan looked upset. She knew she was being silly. He was probably busy. He might not see her email for hours. She would just have to wait and see how he took it.
Her reply to Julian wasn’t as easy to type. It required some thinking - a lot of thinking. She reached for her stale coffee twice. The third time, it was inches from her lips when Nathan swung his chair around to tap her on the shoulder.
‘Is everything okay?’
Eva would have much preferred if he lead with a simple hello. She swallowed hard and tried not to pull a face. ‘Yes, thanks. And you?
She cringed as the words passed her lips. Why was she asking him if he was okay? Actually, why was he asking her? Was it that obvious that an email from Julian had her completely frazzled?
‘I’m good - thanks. I’m a bit worried about this suit business.’
‘Suit?’ Eva was only half listening. Another email had just appeared on her screen.
‘For the Ball. It’s black tie, isn’t it?
Eva nodded.
‘I’ve only ever been to one black tie event before. It was my sister’s wedding when I was fourteen, and I had a yellow cucumber band; please tell me I don’t need to fish that out. My waist has changed a little since then.’
Eva laughed. She loved that he said silly things. Things so silly that even she wouldn’t say them. He talked before he thought. It was easily done, Eva knew, and in their office, he would learn the hard way. She liked him. He had a cute, albeit slightly goofy smile and the rim of his glasses were too thick. But he had kind eyes and he looked at Eva like a lost puppy. And with the right makeover, he could be a pretty good looking guy. How could she not take pity on him? As a fellow put-your-foot-in-your-mouth type, she felt it was her duty to warn him about Mia before he had the misfortune of discovering for himself.
‘I think you mean cummerbund,’ she whispered, hoping she wouldn’t embarrass him.
‘No. I mean cucumber band,’ he corrected in a loud contradiction to her whisper. ‘My older cousin thought it would be hilarious to stuff half the buffet down my pants. I still can’t eat salad to this day.’
Eva laughed more. Nathan may have been your stereotypical nerd but he knew it and it embraced it. Eva envied his courage.
‘I’m sorry. I don’t know why I felt the need to share that. I’m just not used to talking to girls as pretty as you. Or any girls, really. Or I mean, actually, I don’t know what I mean.’
Eva watched as Nathan fidgeted nervously with a sheet of headed paper. It looked important. She reached across and took the paper and placed it gently on the desk to his left, her hands resting on his for just a moment longer than they needed to.
‘There,’ she said, hoping he’d relax now.
‘I hope your cousin grew up fat and ugly,’ Eva said, trying to pretend she wasn’t taking a sneaky peek at the writing on the page.
‘Unfortunately not. He’s an Orthopaedic Surgeon in London now. Married to a model too, he is. She’s a bitch though, so at least that’s something,’ Nathan said.
Eva smiled. ‘Aren’t most beautiful women, bitches?’
‘You’re not.’
Eva blushed. Nathan said the sweetest things. If another guy had said it, she’d suspect it was just a line. A well timed one- admittedly, but they probably used it all the time. But there was something different about Nathan. Eva looked at his eyes. They were naive and smiling. She actually believed he genuinely meant the compliment. He didn’t seem the type to say something he really didn’t mean. If he was flirting, it probably wasn’t his intention and it made it easier for Eva to relax.
‘He met her online a few years back,’ Nathan continued. ‘Some dating site. All a bit fucked up, if you ask me. How do you know if these people you’re talking to aren’t perverts or murders? Know what I mean?’
Eva nodded. She did know. If you’d asked her last week, she would have agreed one hundred per cent. Today; not so much. Sure, she didn’t actually know Julian. Not in the physical sense anyway, but she liked him more than any real man she knew in the flesh. He made her feel good about herself. He gave her a confidence she never thought she would have. She wouldn’t be sitting here talking to Nathan if it wasn’t for Julian. Not that she could explain. She knew it made her sound weird. Hell, it made her feel weird. Before she would have ignored Nathan’s advances until he thought she was boring and stopped talking to her. It was what she always did.
‘So, it looks posh, doesn’t it?’ Nathan said, picking up the page from earlier and pointing to the text.
‘Hmm?’
‘The ball. It looks like a pretty fancy event. To tell the truth, I’m kinda nervous about it.’
Eva had tuned out. She was day dreaming about Julian - again. It was becoming a bad habit. Lovely as Nathan was, she really wished he had work to do. She was desperate to get back to her emails.
‘Don’t worry about it. It sounds fun,’ Eva lied convincingly. It didn’t sound fun. It sounded daunting and totally terrifying, and Eva knew she would stick out like a sore thumb.
She looked across to the water cooler. Mia stood with her hand on her hip, sipping softly form her cup. Five male staff members stood around her like flies drawn to light. Eva hated her. Not because she was beautiful, tall, and blonde with boobs so big, Eva was surprised she didn’t topple over. She hated her because she was the biggest bitch in the office. No scrap that, she was the biggest bitch in Dublin - no, the world. Mia was the biggest bitch in the world. And yet, every creature with a dick between his legs became a babbling idiot around her. It was like she was some sort of drug to men. They couldn’t resist.
Eva rolled her eyes and her stare once again settled on the page in Nathan’s hands. She gave the paper her full attention for a second and the familiar wording hit her like a slap in the face. She was startled by the big, bold, gold font asking for a response by the end of the week. A response! What the fuck? She snatched the page roughly from Nathan’s grip.
‘Where did you get this?’
‘What’s wrong?’ Nathan asked, sounding surprised.
‘Where did you get it?’ Eva was angry. Her jaw locked as she spoke and she struggled not to scream.
‘It…it was on my desk this morning. Eva I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought everyone got one.’
‘I didn’t.’ Eva growled.
‘It’s no big deal, I probably won’t even go…I….’
‘I just don’t understand,’ Eva said almost crying with temper and confusion.
Nathan shook his head. ‘It’s stupid. Don’t mind this.’
Nathan took the page and ripped it roughly into uneven piece. ‘There, fuck that stupid ball.’
‘You shouldn’t have done that,’ Eva said shaking her head. ‘You’re sweet but you could get in a lot of trouble.’
‘I don’t’ care. Management can’t do that kind of shit. Pick and choose who can and can’t go. It’s fucked up. I swear, Eva. I thought everyone got one. I wouldn’t have said anything if I’d known you weren’t invited. I’m so sorry. ‘
‘I am invited. He said I had to go. No need to RSVP, for me, I think. At least I think that’s what he meant. Jesus. I don’t know. I don’t know what the fuck is going on.’
Nathan grabbed an ink stained tissue from his desk and handed it to Eva.
‘Sorry. My pen exploded.’
Eva looked up at hi
m through tear stained eyes. But even Nathan’s goofy charm couldn’t make her smile right now. The only person who could explain what the hell was going on was Mr Doe. She had to go see him. Unannounced and uninvited - shit.
‘Nathan I’m sorry. I have to go.’
Eva left her desk and stormed towards the lift.
Chapter 8
Blood pumped through Eva’s veins like fire. She stomped her feet, exaggerating each step like a giant staking its prey. The lift bell softly sounded and Eva was on the top floor. It was very different to last time. Last time she reached this dizzy height above the city she was shy and timed and unsure of what lay ahead. This time she was certain and angry, and she planned the journey down to the last detail.
Eva stormed towards Shelly’s desk unprepared to offer an explanation. Shelly wasn’t there. Eva was relieved. It was less complicated this way. At least she hoped it was. Maybe Shelly would have stopped her, or have tried to talk some sense into her before she continued. Deep down, Eva knew she was about to make a stupid mistake but she had come too far now, she couldn’t turn back. She wouldn’t.
She thought about knocking on the door but that would give him an advantage. He didn’t deserve that. She paused for a moment, inhaled deeply, held her breath for a little longer than was comfortable and charged at the door like a bull seeing red. She caught the handles on each of the double doors and pulled back. The large metal frame creaked as if to announce its distaste at her touch. The doors were heavy and Eva’s shoulders strained and threatened to pop from their sockets. But she managed to pull them open in unison to expose a wide, open mouth into the room. The room was dark, but not pitch black like last time. A huge window lined the back wall and the sun above the city battled with the venetian blind to bring light to the office.
A soft whimper sounded from the back of the room, followed by the squeak of a chair rocking back and forth. Eva froze. Her presence was unnoticed, she realised. Suddenly her being there felt horribly inappropriate. But she didn’t know how to announce herself.
‘Good girl,’ Mr Doe said between rushed, panting breaths. He was gasping for air.
‘You like it, don’t you?’ Came a soft sweet reply. ‘Harder, baby, yeah, that’s it.’
Eva closed her eyes and covered her ears. She felt like she was watching a pirate copy of a dodgy porno. What was she thinking? She never should have come up here. Mr Doe would fire her now for sure. She wanted to turn and run but her shoes felt like cavity blocks, weighing her feet firm against the ground. She couldn’t move.
‘Mm,’ the sweet voice whispered. ‘I’m right there. I’m gonna come.’
Oh shit, no. Eva couldn’t think fast enough. A stack of papers towered on a small desk to her left. She lunged forward and knocked them to the ground. Sheets of paper rained like pieces of giant confetti. A hush instantly fell over the room. Eva was afraid to breathe. Her heart raced so fast, she feared it would be heard. She ducked down and began to back slowly out the door, crashing her hip off the hinge as she passed. She winced and tried not to shriek in pain.
Back in the safety of the hall, Eva nursed her aching side. Her whole body throbbed. A combination of terror and physical pain attacked her. Everyone on her floor had seen her dramatic march toward the lift. If Mr Doe enquired about the identity of his peeping-tom, there was a whole department full of people that would be only too happy to rat Eva out. There was nowhere to hide. She would have to stay and explain. Maybe if she could speak to Shelly first, she would understand. Eva was furious with herself. This is why she never took initiative. It always ended in a mess. This mess being one of her greater mistakes. She would either get fired or arrested. Either way, she knew today wasn’t going to end well.
‘That looked like it hurt.’ Shelly appeared behind Eva suddenly, pointing to her side.
Eva looked up with tears in her eyes. ‘You saw me?’
Shelly nodded and giggled. ‘Subtle isn’t really your middle name, is it?’
‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t see anything, I promise. I just, well, I knew you were busy…’
‘Well, yeah, I suppose busy is one word for it.’ Shelly winked. ‘Eva it’s okay. You weren’t to know. Usually John locks the door. I don’t know why he didn’t today.’
‘Do you do it every day?’ The question left Eva’s mouth before she had time to think.
Shelly pulled a face.
‘Sorry, it’s none of my business. I should go now. Sorry.’ Eva stared at the ground, mortified. She couldn’t bring herself to look Shelly in the eyes.
‘Not every day. But we do it a lot. I like sex as much as he does, if the truth be told.’
Eva blushed. Shelly was so at ease. Eva couldn’t even say the word sex without breaking into a cold sweat.
‘Wow.’ Eva wished she had something better to say but she knew she did well to even manage one word under the circumstance.
‘He’s good, you know. Really bloody good. I’ve already come twice today and he’s promised me one more before I go home.’
‘Jesus, really?’ Is that not bad for you?’
Shelly laughed but Eva was serious. She was sure she read somewhere that over exertion like that wasn’t good for your heart.
‘I fucking love it, Eva.’
The nervous twitch in Eva’s neck was now becoming an uncomfortable thumping in her vein. She was worried that her head might explode. She looked at Shelly’s rosy cheeks and the smile that was cemented to her face like a Botox side effect. Eva wondered what good sex would feel like. She didn’t have much experience to judge from. Her first boyfriend had offered to ‘pop her cherry’, as he put it, back when they were freshmen. Eva hadn’t realised it was a contract open to terms and conditions. Those conditions included; roughly pushing inside her for ten minutes in his parent’s basement until he came all over her, leaving a sticky mess on her favourite dress. The following night, he offered her class mate the same experience.
‘It’s okay, Eva. Go back in.’ Shelly tilted her head towards the door she left slightly ajar behind her.
‘No, please. I can’t. I don’t know what to say.’
‘I don’t think he wants to talk.’ Shelly winked again. Eva wished she would stop doing that. It implied that Eva understood the hidden meaning behind her sentence. Eva didn’t, or at least she wanted to pretend she didn’t.
‘He didn’t finish, so just be prepared.’
‘Prepared for what?’
‘He can be a bit rough when he’s frustrated. Just be confident. Tell him to slow down if you’re not comfortable. He’s rough but he’s not an asshole. He will listen.’
Eva gulped. A huge lump of air forced its way down her throat, threatening to choke her. Shelly nodded her approval as Eva’s head bobbed up and down - taking in every word. If Mr Doe tried any funny business, she would throw the words ‘sexual misconduct’ out there and hope it scared him off.
Eva stopped just before the door and looked back at Shelly.
‘Good luck,’ Shelly said, flicking the back of her hand back and forth, ushering Eva inside.
Eva needed more than luck. She needed a personality transplant. She didn’t belong in the world of casual sex and gate-crashing him mid-quickie made the whole situation ten times worse. She crossed her hands and placed them on her chest. She took one last deep breath, held it for a moment and released hard. It made her dizzy. Still shaking, she thrust herself forward like a bullet from a gun, taking huge steps. She didn’t stop until she was standing in the middle of the room. The door slammed shut with a loud thud. She jumped dramatically before scolding herself for not seeing it coming.
‘Don’t you ever fucking knock?’ Mr Doe asked.
Eva was about to apologise but she remembered their conversation from the day before. He was already frustrated. She didn’t want to make things worse.
‘Shelly told me to come in.’
‘Did Shelly also tell you to spy on me?’
Eva’s shaking became worse. She was horribl
y aware of her hands as they clutched the sides of her skirt, swishing it back and forth gently. She wanted to explain. But her bottom lip was quivering uncontrollably; she knew her speech would come out like she was riding a bike down a bumpy road. Be confident, she warned herself. Confident people don’t mumble.
‘The door was open.’
‘Fiery, aren’t you?’
Shit, Eva thought. Maybe she was over confident. She heard people say there was a fine line between confident and cocky; she had no bloody clue where that line was.
‘Have a seat.’
Eva knew it was an order, not a suggestion. She moved to the side and sat into the only chair she could see; a soft leather recliner.
‘Did you like what you saw?’
Eva wanted to shoot down his inappropriate question and storm out. He was challenging her, she knew, she just didn’t know why. There were lots of other girls in the office who would love to accept his advance. They were pretty and more popular than Eva. She couldn’t see why he had any interest in her. She wondered if she should tell him she wasn’t a virgin. It was the only explanation Eva could think of; he wanted to break her in. It was probably like some sort of conquest for him. Maybe he kept score, or got Shelly to do it for him on some big fancy spread sheet he designed himself. Eva instantly felt bad. She liked Shelly. She didn’t like to think of her that way.
‘I didn’t see anything.’
‘You’re lying, Ms Andrews. I don’t like liars.’
‘And I don’t like perverts,’ Eva snapped back.
‘Listen to yourself, throwing names around like you know shit. You haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. I’m a grown man. I can fuck who I like, when I like. Got that?’
Eva knew she had really pissed him off. He had a point, but he didn’t have to shove sex in her face like it was some kind of trophy.
‘Well, you can’t have me.’
Mr Doe laughed. A dry, loud, snorty laugh. ‘Who the hell said anything about having you?’
Eva paused. He was twisting things. ‘The girls talk,’ she explained.
Rules of Harte (Harte Series #1) Page 6
