A Question of Us

by Mary Jayne Baker

  ‘Nah, it’s pretty resilient.’

  ‘So what were you planning to do if I actually said yes one of the times you asked me out then?’

  ‘Laura would’ve been okay about it, we had an understanding.’

  ‘Yeah, but I wouldn’t have.’

  ‘I mean she would’ve been okay calling it off. I wouldn’t have gone out with you both at the same time, Clarrie, I’m not a total bastard.’

  ‘Yes you bloody are.’ She shrugged off his arm and went to prod the fire with the pokey stick they used to coax flames out of the glow, frowning at it for not cooperating.

  They turned at the sound of a tent unzipping. Sonny’s head stuck itself out of the flap, flushed and breathless.

  ‘Si, mate. Couldn’t help us out here, could you?’

  ‘What, has it been so long that you need me to come in and give you a few pointers?’

  ‘Give over, you know what I’m after. Bet you’ve got one. Give it us, go on.’

  Si looked at Clarrie. ‘What do you reckon? Should I let him have it?’

  ‘Yeah, don’t tease the poor lad.’

  ‘Here you go then, Sonny.’ He pulled out his wallet and chucked it to Sonny, who put a hand through the flap to catch it. ‘Now don’t say I never do anything for you.’

  ‘Ta, Si, I owe you one.’ Sonny’s head disappeared back into the tent.

  ‘Well, if you were planning on trying to seduce me again then it looks like you’re out of luck,’ Si said to Clarrie once Sonny had gone.

  ‘Wasn’t going to.’ She gave the fire another vicious poke.

  Si grinned. He stood and wrapped his arms round her middle, bringing his mouth close to her ear.

  ‘You’re jealous.’

  ‘Am not.’

  ‘You are. You’re jealous because I went out with Laura Tindall.’

  ‘Oh please, don’t flatter yourself. I’ve seen you with plenty of girls.’

  ‘But never with a girlfriend.’ He pulled her down onto the bench, onto his knee. ‘Admit it, Clar. You want to go out with me and keep me all to yourself.’

  ‘No I don’t.’

  ‘You do though.’ He pressed a kiss into the nape of her neck. ‘Come back to my tent for a cuddle again,’ he said softly. ‘It was nice sleeping next to you last night.’

  ‘Sure you wouldn’t rather give Laura Tindall a ring and ask her?’

  ‘Best not. She might bring the fiancé and it’s only a two-man tent.’

  ‘Same bloke? The one she liked more than you?’

  ‘Yeah, she wore him down eventually. Just like I will with you.’ He brushed his lips against her neck again. ‘Stay with me tonight, Clarrie. I’ll play with your hair while you go to sleep.’

  ‘Do you trust me to keep my naughty drunken hands off you then?’

  ‘I’ll take my chances.’

  She sighed. ‘I dunno, Simon. Sonny’s right, isn’t he? We shouldn’t be doing this. It feels like we’re in a funny place since the bet. Not one thing or the other.’

  ‘It doesn’t count at camp though. Anyway, it’ll all be decided soon enough. Not long till the final, then I can keep you.’

  ‘You really think we’ll win, don’t you?’

  ‘I’m counting on it.’

  She started as Dave let out a loud snort, as if even in sleep he didn’t fancy their chances much. His head had slumped forward, and there was a little pool of drool gathering at the corner of his mouth.

  ‘Poor Lyndsey,’ Si said with a laugh. ‘Imagine having to share a bed with that.’

  ‘Well, she’s only got herself to blame.’ Clarrie looked over her shoulder at him. ‘Hey, I just realised something. You haven’t smoked all night.’

  ‘Don’t need to, do I? You’re already here.’

  She stared, absorbing his words.

  ‘Si… not really?’

  ‘Yep. I only really smoke when I’m out with you lot. It’s the easiest way to get you all to myself for a bit.’

  She lifted one of the hands clasped at her waist and pressed the backs of his fingers against her lips.

  ‘You can be really bloody sweet sometimes, you know that?’

  ‘Laura Tindall thought so too.’

  ‘I take it back.’

  ‘No you don’t.’ He guided her off his lap, stood and took her hand. ‘Let’s go to mine, eh? I’ll let you have a perve at me in my boxers again if you want.’

  ‘You really know how to show a girl a good time, Dewhirst.’

  ‘Don’t I? If you ever go out with me, I’ll chuck in a kebab as well.’

  She rolled her eyes at him. ‘Stop it, Si, you’re getting me hot.’

  ‘My “all right, sweetcheeks, buy you a kebab?” line has been known to have that effect on women.’

  Laughing, she let him lead her to his tent, leaving Dave and his beer slumbering by the fire.

  19

  14th Annual Denworth Quiz League: Leaderboard

  The Grinning Cat, Match 4 of 8

  1st place – Les Quizerables (217)

  Joint 2nd place – The Pink Ladies and The Mighty Morphin’ Flower Arrangers (207)

  3rd place – The Murgatroyd Family (204)

  ‘Leaving it a bit late, aren’t you?’ Sonny said as Clarrie sat down behind a pint that seemed to have her name on it.

  ‘Oh, don’t stress. You know Tim’s never on time.’

  ‘What’ve you been doing then?’

  ‘Your mum.’

  ‘Don’t you start.’

  ‘Sorry, couldn’t help myself,’ she said, grinning. ‘I had to get the bloody bus up, didn’t I?’

  The Grinning Cat, an isolated inn out in the middle of the moors, was always a challenge to get to. The match they hosted tended to be the soberest of the League, since most participants had to drive. But what the Cat lacked in accessibility it more than made up for in cosy, with an oak-beamed ceiling laden with toby jugs and pewter tankards, charmingly shabby furniture, exposed brickwork and, when the weather called for it, a roaring fire. Plus they always held a Sunday evening quiz, which meant it was roast dinner leftovers rather than the usual greasy chips at half-time – giant Yorkshires, roasties, beef and gravy. You got your quid’s worth, that was for sure.

  The team always bagged themselves the same table, under a nook that was supposed to be an old coffin stand, and Sonny, Dave and Jeff – plus Lyndsey in her now customary position on Dave’s lap – were all there.

  ‘You should’ve called,’ Sonny told Clarrie. ‘I would’ve picked you up.’

  ‘Si was supposed to be giving me a lift. Never showed.’ She glanced around the pub. ‘Isn’t he here? I tried ringing him a couple of times but there was no answer.’

  Dave shrugged. ‘Well, you know what he’s like. Probably got invited in for coffee after he drove her home.’

  ‘What, is he with a girl?’

  ‘It’s Si, isn’t it? Where else would he be if he’s not here?’

  The twist in Clarrie’s stomach was sharp enough to surprise her.

  She didn’t know why she should feel jealous. Si had a date most weeks, she knew that, and it had never bothered her before. Well, maybe a bit, but she was used to ignoring the more complicated of her Si-related feelings. She’d been doing it since school.

  No, it wasn’t that Si might be with a girl. It was that he was late for the quiz. Ever since he’d made the bet with her it felt like he’d eaten, slept and breathed trivia, surpassing even Sonny in his zeal to win. And suddenly, tonight, he was late. Suddenly, winning the League – winning the bet – didn’t seem to be top of his list any more.

  He wasn’t bored, was he? Surely… surely he hadn’t given up?

  ‘He wouldn’t have arranged a date tonight,’ she said, trying to sound firm. ‘Not on quiz night.’

  ‘Well, you’ve got more faith in him than I have,’ Dave said. ‘If it came to a choice between doing the quiz and getting laid, I’m tempted to think he’d drop us like we were hot.’ He gave Lyndsey’s ear a
kiss. ‘Not that I can blame him.’

  Lyndsey was watching Clarrie’s face.

  ‘I wouldn’t worry about it, Clarrie. He’s probably just running late,’ she said. ‘He’ll be here before kick-off, I’m sure.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Clarrie summoned a smile. ‘Yeah, you’re probably right. Still, he could’ve rung to say he wasn’t picking me up.’

  ‘Maybe he forgot.’

  ‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘So how come you’re here, Lyns? Did Dave press gang you into chauffeur duty?’

  ‘No. Well, yes. But I wanted to bring you lot some big news too.’

  ‘You’re pregnant.’

  Lyndsey laughed. ‘Not that big, thank God.’

  Jeff exhaled slowly and patted his heart. ‘Bloody hell, lass, don’t do that to me. His mother’d have a fit.’

  ‘Hear, hear,’ Dave said, nodding vigorously.

  ‘So what is the news then?’ Clarrie said.

  ‘Well, I was hoping to wait till Si got here,’ Lyndsey said. ‘It was kind of his idea. But since Tim’ll be kicking me out soon…’ She nodded to the Les Quizerables table. ‘Notice anyone missing?’

  Clarrie looked over at Darren and his gang. There were a lot of glum faces around their table as they supped their pints in silence. And one face was very conspicuous by its absence.

  ‘Jim off Brainiacs,’ Dave said. ‘Where is he then?’

  Lyndsey grinned. ‘He’s dropped out.’

  ‘What?’ Sonny nearly spluttered his Coke over her. ‘No way!’

  ‘Yep. Got a better offer.’

  ‘What, better than doing the League?’

  ‘It is just about possible, Sonny,’ Lyndsey said, smiling.

  ‘But what is it?’

  ‘Okay, so did you all know he’s a widower?’

  ‘Yeah, Darren told us,’ Clarrie said. ‘He said Welsby joined the League to get out and meet people after his wife died last year.’

  ‘That’s right. Sandra, her name was. She was a friend of my mum’s.’

  ‘Okay, and?’

  ‘Well, my mum and Jim have been getting pretty close since his wife died, but I think with Mum and Sandra having been friends, he was a bit wary of asking her out. You know, in case she thought he was betraying Sandra or something. And my mum was worried it was too soon for her to ask him. So for months they’ve been dancing around each other, both too scared to make the first move.’

  ‘So tonight he’s…’

  Lyndsey grinned. ‘Yep. Out with my mum.’

  ‘What did you do, Lyns?’ Dave said.

  ‘Not much,’ she said, shrugging. ‘Just sort of chivvied Mum up a bit. I told her he’d joined the League to meet new people so if she didn’t make a move soon she might miss her chance. Convinced her she should invite him round for a meal.’

  ‘Tonight?’

  ‘No, two weeks ago. Tonight they’re going to a couples’ wine-tasting thing. Seems to be going really well actually.’

  Sonny was gazing at her. ‘Lyndsey, I think I love you.’

  She smiled. ‘Nice to finally have your blessing. Davy told me the way to your heart was through the League.’

  ‘And you say Si put you up to this?’ Clarrie said.

  ‘What, pimping out my mum so you lot could win the quiz league?’ Lyndsey said, laughing. ‘No, not exactly. He remembered me saying they were friends, wanted me to ask my mum to have a word. It was my idea to encourage her to ask Jim out. Life’s short, right? About time the two of them moved on and found a bit of happiness.’ She stood up. ‘Anyway, I’d better go. Win this one for me, guys.’

  She kissed Dave goodbye and left the pub.

  ‘This is awesome!’ Sonny said. ‘Good old Lyndsey’s mum, I could kiss her.’ He held up a hand to Dave, who’d opened his mouth to make a comment. ‘Don’t. Hey, with Welsby gone there’s a chance we could actually win this thing.’

  ‘Or there would be if Si was here,’ Dave said. ‘He’s our best all-rounder since he started spending his free time with trivia books instead of women.’

  ‘Where the hell is he?’ Clarrie yanked out her phone. ‘Still nothing. We should’ve started by now.’

  Sonny glanced around the pub. ‘Gem’s team are missing too.’

  ‘But Gem’s not,’ Dave said, nodding towards the bar. Sure enough there was Gemma, chatting in a friendly way to Tim as he set up his microphone. When she’d finished she came over to their table, beaming.

  ‘Evening all.’ She leaned over the table to give Sonny a kiss. ‘Evening, sexy new boyfriend.’

  ‘Hiya, gorgeous. Missed you.’ Sonny returned the kiss with interest.

  Jeff shook his head.

  ‘What’s up with you kids tonight? Did they start lacing the drinks in this place with Viagra?’ He stood up. ‘That’s it, I’m going to the Gents. I’m too old to be surrounded by this many hormones, my heart can’t take it.’

  ‘Where’re your Pink Ladies, Gem?’ Sonny asked when they’d finished snogging.

  ‘Aha. That’s what I came over to tell you.’ She pinched Jeff’s place next to Sonny and snuggled into him. ‘Got some big news, you lot.’

  ‘Not you as well,’ Clarrie said. ‘What is it?’

  ‘It’s Si’s secret weapon. Not a euphemism.’ She looked around. ‘Where is he anyway? We wanted to announce it together.’

  ‘We don’t know, he’s not answering his phone,’ Dave said. ‘What secret weapon, Gem?’

  ‘Me.’

  ‘You? You’re Si’s secret weapon?’

  ‘Yep, I’m back in the team,’ she said, grinning. ‘Let’s face it, those entertainment rounds aren’t going to answer themselves, are they? Feels good to be a Flower Arranger again.’

  ‘Is this what you two were talking about at camp?’ Sonny asked.

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘But it’s not allowed,’ Clarrie said. ‘Rules say you have to register your team members at the start of the League. You can’t bring in anyone new.’

  ‘Nope, Si figured out a loophole,’ Gemma said, looking smug. ‘I checked with Tim and it’s all above board.’

  ‘What loophole?’ Dave said. ‘Clarrie’s right, isn’t she? Registered team members only.’

  ‘But it doesn’t matter what team. The rules say all League members must be registered at the start and belong to a single team. Nothing about switching teams. And teams can have up to six members so you’ve got a place spare.’

  ‘And Tim said that was okay?’

  ‘Yeah, I just asked him. He said it’s fine, as long as I’m only on one team at a time.’

  ‘He’d never have said that if we’d asked,’ Dave said to Sonny. ‘Pretty girl bias. Si knows what he’s doing.’

  ‘And what about your team?’ Clarrie asked Gemma.

  ‘Pulled out. They weren’t that fussed anyway, they were only here to humour me.’ She grinned. ‘So that pushes us into second place, doesn’t it?’

  ‘Bloody brilliant!’ Sonny flung his arms round her. ‘Glad we’ve got you back, Gem.’

  ‘Be honest, Sunil. Do you only love me for my quizzing abilities?’

  He shrugged. ‘No. Your boobs as well.’

  ‘As long as I’m not just a brain to you.’ She lowered her voice. ‘I’ll let you have a look at them later.’

  ‘Can I have a look as well?’ Dave asked.

  ‘No. Your girlfriend just left a minute ago, mate.’

  ‘Oh yeah. Keep forgetting I’ve got one of them now.’

  ‘Not looking good for you then, is it, Clar?’ Sonny said with a grin. ‘With Welsby gone and the Pink Ladies out, we’re actually in with something like a chance.’

  She shook her head at Gemma. ‘Can’t believe you and Lyns ganged up with Si behind my back. What about sisterhood?’

  Gemma smiled. ‘Come on. You know you want him to win.’

  ‘No I don’t.’ She looked at her phone again. ‘Wish I knew where he was though. It isn’t like him not to at least text.’

  Tim finally
started the quiz, late as usual, but there was still no sign of Si. Clarrie cursed under her breath when the quizmaster announced a round on British monarchs first.

  ‘Well, that’s it then, isn’t it?’ she said to the others. ‘A history round and no Si means we’re screwed. Seriously, what was the point of all the finagling if he wasn’t even going to show up?’

  ‘Question one,’ Tim boomed. ‘Who succeeded King John to the throne of England?’

  Sonny groaned. ‘Oh God. That’s Robin Hood times, it’s well before anything we did at school. Richard the Lionheart’s the only one I know and he was before.’

  ‘Clarrie?’ Dave said.

  ‘Sorry. Unless Shakespeare wrote a play about him, I’ll have no chance.’

  ‘I know it,’ Jeff said.

  All eyes turned to him.

  ‘Seriously, you’ve got an answer?’ Sonny said.

  Dave narrowed one eye at his father. ‘If you say Chinese Water Terrier the First, we’re not putting it.’

  ‘No, it was… wait a minute. They made us learn a rhyme for this at school, back in the days when that was what passed for education.’ Jeff started counting on his fingers. ‘Willy, Willy, Harry, Ste, Harry, Ned, Dick… no, that’s not right.’ He paused. ‘Okay. Willy, Willy, Harry, Ste, Harry, John, Ned… no, that can’t be it either, it doesn’t rhyme. Willy, Willy…’

  Dave sighed. ‘Come on, Dad. You’re never going to get there, no matter how many Willies you go through.’

  Jeff held up a hand. ‘Just give me a second, it’s on the tip of my tongue. Right. Willy, Willy… Willy, Willy, Harry, Ste, Harry, Dick, John, Harry Three – yes! There you go, Henry the Third,’ he said, grabbing the answer sheet to write it down. ‘Ha! Tell you what, I never thought that’d come in useful. I’d owe old Mr Outhwaite an apology, if he wasn’t a bit too dead to appreciate it.’

  ‘Bloody hell,’ Sonny said, looking impressed. ‘Jeff, I take back everything I ever said about you.’ He paused. ‘I take back some of what I ever said about you.’

  ‘Question two,’ Tim said. ‘Which Catherine was the fifth wife of Henry the Eighth?’

  ‘Well, Dad?’ Dave said. ‘Got any rhymes for this one?’

  ‘Yeah, one. But that just tells me he chopped the poor cow’s head off.’

  ‘Think I know this,’ Clarrie said. ‘Three Catherines, two Annes and a Jane. Catherine of Aragon was first, Catherine Parr outlived him which means she was last, so it must’ve been the other one. Howard.’