No Good Deed

by Jerry Jackson

  Obidaan took a deep breath, and with more vigor than last time said, “I would like to announce the founding of ‘The Vanguard’ with myself, my wife Relina Grailann, brother, Donder Straif, Brother—in—law Alister Cobbleson, and Sister—in—law Terrandry Waystar. And we believe we can do some good works in this world.” and just as before, his voice got low, almost pleading, “So I ask that you include Don, Alister, and Terry in your hearts and prayers tonight, tomorrow, and in the future.” Then he turned to Mordechi, who had returned to the podium and was in the same spot he was five years ago. “And Mordechi Vindishbar, Bishop and Lead Priest of The Seers, I ask you bless this group so we may always go forth and do good works and with the gift of prophesy save those from fates worse than death.”

  “Kneel, please,” the five knelt, just as they had done, Mordechi said a prayer of protection and guidance. “You have my blessing and the blessing of the church, go forth and do good works.”

  “And you have our blessing too. Rise Obidaan. Rise our Paladin.” Lord and Lady Seer appeared on the alter. Everyone in the cathedral was awestruck, none more so than Mordechi and Obidaan. Mordechi and the alter children knelt instantly, followed almost immediately by the rest of the congregation. A communal ‘whoomp’ was heard as knees hit the floor.

  No one can truly describe what a god or goddess looks like since they take on the form most comfortable to the viewer. So as hundreds of people looked upon them they appeared hundreds of different ways. Only Mordechi, Obidaan, and Relina could see their true form, pure energy.

  “Please, rise,” Lord Seer said, and began laughing, “there is no need for such formality on this day. It is not a high holy day.” He noticed no one laughed, “It is a day of celebration. This day does not belong to us it belongs to Obidaan, and The Vanguard. I know we should have let you know we were coming Mordechi, but sometimes a surprise is just more fun.”

  “W—well it is your church. We hold services and worship in your honor.” Mordechi was still flabbergasted by their appearance. The timing was perfect, yet unsettling. It was going to take a few minutes to get over the shock.

  “You flatter us unnecessarily. Be at ease. We are here strictly as ‘proud parents’ nothing more.”

  “Did you really think we would miss the anniversary of our only paladin?” Lady Seer spoke up, “This is a great day in our church’s history. We wouldn’t, no we couldn’t, miss this for anything. And besides, I brought cake!” and with a wave a large sheet cake appeared on the table. The cake read, “Congratulations Vanguard and Happy Fifth Anniversary Obidaan Grailann, Paladin of The Seers. Lord and Lady Seer.”

  People had returned to their seats now, Mordechi had calmed down, and The Vanguard were all standing, staring at the gods. The couple took a singular form, both of two middle—aged people, with graying hair and deep purple eyes; eyes that seemed to look simultaneously to the distance and yet right at you. It was as though they were looking at everyone at the same time, looking to the future, and looking nowhere.

  They walked down to Obidaan. Just before they got to him, Lady Seer smacked her forehead, as if remembering something. “Almost forgot,” and with a wave of her hand cake appeared in everyone’s hands on a plate with a fork, “oh, and just will it if you want ice cream will it.” The congregation was momentarily stunned, “Go ahead and eat. I made it myself, using nothing but the freshest ingredients. It’s delicious. Trust me.” Some put ice cream on theirs. Everyone began to dig in; immediately there was a collective mmmm! Everyone finished their piece regardless of how much or how little of it they ate. When done, the plate vanished and their hands and face were clean. All were perfectly satisfied by the cake. It was as though each slice knew exactly how much to feed someone.

  They continued to Obidaan. Each one took his hands. Lady Seer rubbed his left hand. “So strong now, and rough, toughened by the years. You have hands that have done and will do great things.”

  “Do you remember what you said to us that day five years ago?” Lord Seer asked.

  “How could I forget?” he kneeled humbly and said, “But I am not worthy of such an honor. Paladins oversee worldly events and deal with kings and emperors, monarch and church officials. I do not desire such things. I only wish to help those who need helping. Surely one does not need to be a paladin to do that.”

  “And that is exactly why we chose you, Obidaan.” Lady Seer said, “Remember, no one who is selected to be a paladin wants the job, which is why they are chosen. Paladins cannot seek fame and glory, though they will find it. They cannot seek material things. They do great things and help the world. Not only do you seek these things but you do not seek to do it alone. This makes you worthy. And we are even more honored since you, Obidaan Grailann, are the first paladin we have ever chosen.”

  As if still following the script from five years ago, Obidaan continues his lines, “Thank you. Thank you for this great honor. I shall use my powers only for the greater good.”

  “Kneel son, so we may renew your powers.” Lord said. Obidaan knelt before him and they both placed their hands on his shoulders. The mana energy within Obidaan increased greatly. He could feel the power flow through him and it were as though he were a worn down wind up toy that got his spring wound as tight as possible. What Lord Seer did not say is why this step was necessary in the first place.

  From this point on, they spoke telepathically to Obidaan. To everyone else it seemed as if they were all in silent prayer. “Along with your usual paladin abilities, when you concentrate, you can get guidance from us to see the immediate future. Use this one wisely, abuse it and we will not answer. We bestow one additional power on you. From this day forward, you will always know when someone is lying to you. Tell no one of this ability, even other paladins. As a paladin of The Seers we bestow this power only to you. Use it well. Let it guide your action, not dictate them. Just because a person is lying to you doesn’t mean they are trying to deceive you.”

  The crowd was hushed and intense as they watched the proceedings. Mordechi stood motionless at his pulpit, tears of joy streaming down his face. They helped Obidaan to his feet. He bowed to them and they returned it. Then as if formality was broken Lord Seer reached for Obidaan and embraced him, as a father embracing his son.

  “We are so proud of you, Obidaan,” Lord Seer said, “We are pleased at your progress and works. Keep it up.”

  “Yes,” Lady Seer gently hugged him, kissed him on the cheek, and was now looking at him with nothing but pride and love in her eyes, “you do us proud. Many of the other gods are jealous because we speak so highly of you. It took us so long … too long. So much politics and bickering, even…,” she cut herself off, “but this is a day about you and your accomplishments, not a day to rant on the petty squabbles and politics of the gods.” Though it was obvious by the way she said it the politics of gods are neither petty nor are they mere squabbles.

  They stepped away from Obidaan and walked over to Relina. “My dear Relina,” Lady Seer said, “your faith keep us refreshed and renewed. You are one of our strongest followers, please kneel.” She did and they both gave her a mana boost.

  “Now you can cast longer without have to rest as often.” Lord Seer said and they both hugged her.

  “Thank you so much, I am truly honored.”

  “You honor us,” they both replied simultaneously. They then moved over to Don.

  “On this special occasion, is there anything we can do for you?”

  “For me, nothing. I have my discipline and meditation. I seek no glory or riches. I work within my means. However, if you could help Relina and Obidaan, they desire to have a baby of their own and. . .”

  “Speak no more,” Lady Seer said, “we cannot fulfill such a thing. Just as no god can put out the sun, or stop the rotation of the planet, we cannot control conception. When the time is right, it will happen.”

  Mordechi mistook that as a blessing, t
hinking that their baby would come after the Darkness. He would indeed have Obidaan at his side during the trying times. He breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.

  “Are you sure?” Lord Seer asked, “You have the ear of the gods and you seek nothing? You truly are a monk. Last chance.”

  “In that case, I seek one thing,” at that he held Lady Seer’s hand, bent down and kissed her on the knuckles. He then stood straight and saluted Lord Seer, “I am honored to serve with Obidaan and Relina; therefore, it is an honor to serve you. My only desire was to express my appreciation.”

  They both chuckled and moved on to Terry.

  “And you my dear, what may we do for you?”

  Terry was over 200 years old. She was an adult elf, but at this moment she sounded like a schoolgirl and her body language matched it. “Well, y—y—you see, there’s this guy…” That was about all she could get out.

  Lady Seer decided to end her torment. She put her hand on her should and simply said, “Yes. Though I don’t know why you asked, you already know the answer. Anyway, here’s what you really need.” She patted Terry on the back. A calmness washed over her. Now she knew what to do.

  “Thank you.” Her voice was deeper than normal.

  They moved to Alister, “And what can we do for you?”

  “Well, there is one thing I’ve always been curious about,” and Alister, true to form, took Lady Seer into his arms, dipped her so that he was over her and he was looking deep into her eyes. As he stared into them he almost could not get the words out, “I, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to kiss a goddess.”

  Unsurprised by his request, Lady Seer began to change form, assume every possible woman he could imagine. Fair skin to dark skin from white, to black, to yellow, brown, blue, and orange, long hair to short, blond brunette, redhead, bluehead, and bald, straight to kinky. Every possible combo was displayed. “Pick one.” Alister settled on long black hair, tanned skin, deep red eyes, slender but with a nice chest. “Make it count.” Alister kissed her, deep and long.

  Almost instantly, he felt himself transported away. Everything fell away before him and he was in the stars. They swirled about them first slowly, then picking up speed. He felt warm and tingles ran down his spine. He thought he was in control. He wanted to release but realized he could not, so he went with it. He saw the end of the world, and he saw the beginning. He heated up even more, then everything went totally dark, the pure light surrounded him. He felt like an eternity had passed.

  In the real world, the kiss only lasted about 3 seconds. Lady Seer undipped herself and left Alister’s arms. He was in a trance. They gently sat him down back on the pew. Everyone else returned to their seats.

  “Too bad he won’t remember that. Maybe someone should have told him that no mortal kisses a goddess and remembers. No mortal can handle a kiss of pure love, truth, and energy.” Lady Seer said. With a final farewell they left the church. At that moment, Alister recovered.

  “What happened? I feel as though I was in a state of bliss, but it’s fading fast and I can’t remember what happened. Damn, I know it was something good but I don’t know what. Wait, no, it’s gone. Whatever that feeling was, it’s completely vanished.”

  “We’ll tell you later. Let Mordechi finish the sermon,” Terry said.

  “Well, . . .” Mordechi began, when the Seers returned.

  “Ha, thought we forgot you, Mordechi?” Lord Seer said. “No such luck.”

  Lady Seer approached him forming a carnation out of thin air she placed it in a buttonhole that wasn’t there on his tunic. She then took his hands into hers.

  “Your gifts are special, and you use them well. We can only guide you, but in the end, your decisions are your own. Keep the carnation close to your heart, it will help guide you,” she patted his hands and at that, they were gone.

  Mordechi stood silent for a moment, along with everyone in church. No one wanted the moment to end and everyone tried desperately to hold on to it. But just like Alister’s kiss, the moment passed and people still wondered what happened.

  Mordechi finally spoke, “Well, people, after a day like this I think we can adjourn a little early. Good day and I know we’ve all been blessed.”

  The room exploded with applause.

  While gods usually appear during their holy days with rote blessings, it is rare, that they pop in as they did today. The fact that the Seers got so personal was very unusual. Some say they were being overzealous parents with their paladin. Other say it was truly a sign of the coming Tribulation and they were trying to comfort everyone.

  A light drizzle was beginning to fall. The Vanguard created mana umbrellas. Most people used ponchos or normal umbrellas if they had them.

  It was decided they would go to the local bar for lunch to celebrate. Obidaan looked over at Mordechi, “Care to join us for lunch? We’re heading over to the Silver Arrow.”

  At first Mordechi was going to refuse politely, when he realized it had been a very long time since he had been to a pub. Deep down, Mordechi was lonely and the thought of going back to his office and drinking alone was too much to bear. He was secretly overjoyed to get the invitation, though he tried to show only modest interest. His eyes widened and a broad smile came over his face, betraying him, “Yes. Yes, I would love to join you, thank you very much.” When he accepted the invite, the carination felt warm against his chest. “Was this following my heart?” he thought to himself.

  As they left the church, the spell Maria put on Alister wore off and he was back to his shabby, smelly self. Without a thought, Mordechi renewed the spell with just a touch. “This will last till evening, plenty of time for you to get cleaned up.” They all chuckled.

  It was about a twenty—minute walk to the pub. Mordechi broke the silence with remembrances of his youth. “Oh, back in the day, I was quite the rowdy youth. Drinking till I got my fill and then going beyond.” Everyone looked at him half—cocked. It is a given that he enjoys his wine; it is hard for them to believe he was once a wild man, “I know you’re finding it hard to believe, but it’s true. I adventured briefly. We must go forth and see the world so we may understand our visions. Isn’t that right, Relina?”

  “Yes, after I was ordained I began adventuring with Obidaan. That was just over five years ago.”

  “Yes,” and he chuckled a bit, “some stick to it, becoming wanderings priests like yourself. I do hope you get to preach every now and again to others than just these guys.”

  “I’ve had occasion, but they are few and far between. When people ask I’m happy to expand on the virtues of The Seers and the gift of prophesy.”

  “We don’t actively seek followers, since we know when they are coming,” everyone got a laugh out of that.

  Mordechi continued with stories of a wild youth, brawls he had gotten into and a fun but failed treasure hunt. By the time they got to the Silver Arrow they were in quite a festive mood.

  They found some seats not too far from the fire. On it was a large pot holding a stew. Chickens, pigs, and beef parts were roasting above the dancing flames. The meat sizzled as fat dripped into the flames, making for a wonderful aroma. Cooks spooned stew into large wooden bowls and using thick gloves, they would either remove whole animals, or cut parts off accordingly. Vegetables came from the back.

  They sat, continued to talk a bit, when Obidaan shivered for a moment and began looking around the room. Everyone at the table noticed his abrupt movement.

  “Is everything all right, darling?” Relina put her hand on his.

  He patted her hand gently, “Everything is fine. There’s another paladin in the room and I’m looking for them.”

  “You can tell?” Mordechi asked.

  “Oh yes,” Alister stepped in. If there was going to be a story to be told, Alister was going to tell it, “All paladins can recognize each other, even if they are an antipaladin. I
t goes along with membership,” Alister was going to continue but Obidaan stepped in, still searching.

  “Actually, we are all Paladins, whether we fight for good or evil. Bards and the masses primarily use the name antipaladin to distinguish us. To us there is no distinction. We have to follow the same rules; the only difference is the choices we make. We . . . Lucinda.”

  Relina looked over to where Obidaan was looking. There in the corner, keeping to herself, was a half—elf dressed in a black dress, cut in ways that revealed everything but showed nothing. Over her heart was a pin, her holy symbol. It was black skull and crossed swords, outlined in pure silver. She had long black hair that flowed down the full length of her back. Her beauty was unsurpassed, a haunting face, perfect figure, long slender legs, and perky breasts. Her open toes shoes showed perfectly painted nails, in black nail polish, matching her fingernails and lipstick. But it was her eyes that would have people staring at her.

  In the world there are only eight possible eye colors, the colors of the rainbow and brown. However, for a few, fortunate or unfortunate depending on your perspective, there is a ninth color, black. An eye color extends beyond the iris to the sclera. A person with black eyes looks very strange. Since the pupils cannot be seen, you can never tell if they are looking at you or not. It is as though they are looking at everyone at once. This tends to make people very uncomfortable. Also, it only appears in half—elves. Some think it has to do with the mixing of elf and human that causes the defect. It is rare, and for the half—elf who has it, makes them stand out. Most try to hide it with glasses or spells but glasses can be removed and mana runs out. Lucinda was the rarest exception. She never hid her eyes.

  There she sat, in the corner, alone, eating a steak and drinking ale. When she looked up it was as though she was scanning the entire room at the same time. It was only the fact that her head turned toward Obidaan that he became aware that she was aware of him. A brief nod exchanged between them and they both went back to what they were doing. Relina squeezed Obidaan’s hand extra tight.