Louisiana Rain

by TJ Seitz

Jackie

 

  A few minutes later Jackie came out to the porch, sat down on a step and began eating a steaming big bowl of white rice and kidney beans. With a mouth full of food she nonchalantly stated, “Whiff rye don’t eat sormefthing wright nowr rye will go crazy again!”

  Between mouthfuls, she then asked me, “Do you smoke?”

  I told her, “No.”

  Jackie was a very ordinary looking young woman. She had a bad perm from a box shoulder length brown hair. Her eyes were also brown and her skin was lightly bronzed.

  She was neither ugly nor beautiful. I thought she was attractive in a plain Jane sort of way. It felt comfortable to be around her even though I hardly knew her. She was not intimidating and seemed like someone I could easily talk to.

  She appeared to be neither fat nor skinny. It was hard to tell her true shape because the baggy clothes she wore hid those details. There were no distinguishing marks on her face or arms either. She smelled like stale tobacco smoke and ivory soap.

  She wore a pair of loose fitting blue jeans and a purple V-neck short sleeved blouse that showed more chest than buxom. She could easily pass through a crowd unnoticed if she kept to herself and did not speak.

  The one aspect or quirk that did stand out about her was that she kept scratching her arms and legs. I asked, “Are you alright? You keep itching yourself. Do you have a rash?”

  She claimed, “Oh, I’m just allergic to the cheap soap I’m using. It’s all I have for taking showers right now.”

  Her random scratching was annoying. It’s not easy to have a conversation with someone who keeps itching themselves. She didn’t seem overly bothered by her condition but it was very distracting to me.

  I remembered that I had several bars of soap with my stuff and offered, “I might have a bar of soap in my travel bag that won’t bother you or I could buy you another bar if that helps.”

  She smiled and said, “Thanks, that’s real nice of you but I’ll be fine. I just need to get used to it for a few days. I have sensitive skin.”

  I began to wonder if she was not telling me the truth and really had something nasty going on like scabies or crabs. Her hands and arms didn’t have any scabs on them but I couldn’t see her legs or torso so I was not sure.

  Jackie was one of those people who absentmindedly grumble or talk softly to themselves when they think no one can hear or is listening to them. It was hard to hear the words she mumbled at times but the tone was obvious. She also had a habit of bumming cigarettes off of the people she met or passed.

  As she quickly inhaled her food she started telling me more about herself. With maws full of half chewed red-white goo sticking to her teeth and tongue she explained how she returned to New Orleans just two weeks ago after hitchhiking the entire way from Jacksonville, Florida. She used to live here, but left about eight months ago to see if the grass was greener in Florida.

  She asserted that, “Moving to Florida ended up being a bad idea.

  I didn’t know anyone there and could only find part time work waitressing at Pizza Hut or working at a nursing home.

  I worked in a laundry room washing stinky poop and pee stained sheets with two Dominican chicks at the Emeritus at Mandarin. Yuck!

  I really thought I’d find a halfway decent receptionist or secretary job somewhere, not collect food stamps and live in subsidized housing.

  I tried to make things better but was getting nowhere fast. I was two months behind on the rent for a run-down studio apartment. I kept missing my appointments at the State of Florida Children and Families Department because I had to work and I was only bringing home about fifty five dollars a week from my job. I knew I needed to cut my losses soon and do something else.

  I finally gave up after getting a shut off notice from the electric company. I could not afford to eat and pay that fucking bill. It was then that I decided to immediately pack up the few things I had in my room and come back to New Orleans.

  Unfortunately life has not been working out so well for me here either. I’m thinking now that I should just say goodbye to a few people then move on again.

  I need to figure out a way to get to Hawaii. I think that’s where I’m supposed to go next. I could at least hitchhike my way to San Diego or LA then figure out the rest of the details from there.”

  Upon her return to New Orleans, Jackie initially stayed with someone she referred to as an old housemate and his wife in the Seventh Ward but that didn’t last long.

  Jackie alleged, “His wife didn’t want to put out anymore since having their baby last year so in his hormone driven desperation he tried to get a piece from me instead and when the woman got suspicious, the shit hit the fan.

  Honestly, nothing happened. He’s not my type and is just a friend but try explaining that to an insanely jealous woman whose husband is looking for a meal she refuses to cook. It was pointless and I can’t blame her for reacting the way she did.

  My ass was back out on the street with a backpack and grocery bag full of dirty laundry. After going through my bags later on I noticed my best pair of jeans and the only jacket I owned were missing. It wasn’t worth the trouble of going back and asking for them. I thought I had better options than risking my life over a second hand swede jacket and faded pair of jeans with a heart patch on the left back pocket.”

  For the next nine days Jackie told me that she spent a night here and there with other ‘friends’ and ‘associates’ as well as a few nights under some bushes in local parks where the cops and rapists could not find her.

  She eventually ended up here at the Marquette and was now down to her last ten dollars with no job beyond helping clean up around the hostel in exchange for nightly accommodations.

  My upbringing and experience prevented me from fully understanding at this time how the she got herself into this mess.

  It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why. Soon enough, I would understand.

  I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had just ditched Jackie at this point and gone out with the two girls that just left. Though, if I had done that I probably wouldn’t be narrating this story.

 

  Jackie ate her food pretty fast, but considering that she was probably starving it made absolute sense to me.

  When she was finished she asked me, “Do you want to come with me over to a friend’s house around the corner?

  She owes me some money and I might be able to score some weed for free off of her. I don’t want to walk there alone. It’s not good for a woman to walk around these neighborhoods alone after dark. You smoke pot right?”

  She did not wait for me to respond before moving on to another topic. She never noticed that I did not answer either of her questions. I get the impression that she sensed that I was going to spend the next few days escorting and chauffeuring her around town.

  Before leaving Jackie asked, “Do you have a jacket I could borrow? It’s getting chilly and I have no jacket.”

  I had a spare jean jacket I kept in the car. I almost never used it because it didn’t fit me right. I said, “Yes.”

  We went to the car and got it for her. She was grateful, thanked me then carried on with her story.

  Jackie was twenty-four, a year older than me, and divorced.

  A few weeks before setting off for Florida Jackie left her two year old son ‘Little Alex’ in the care of her ex-in laws, who lived in Troy, Texas.

  Jackie said, “My former father in law was once the Mayor of the City. As much as it hurt me I knew that my baby would be much better off there than with me. I have no money, no job or home. I can still love the child in my heart and not fuck his life up by depriving him of important stuff he could easily get from his grandparents”

  She explained that, “Me and their son were only married for less than a year. The baby was born several weeks before the divorce was
finalized.

  I was too impulsive and should have thought two minutes before pushing the marriage idea after I got pregnant. I wish I never got tangled up with the dude to begin with, but shit happens.

  I hardly knew him and naïvely thought that because he was from Texas and since I lived there for a while too that it would all work out fine. I was so fucking stupid. I thought that being married would change everything and make it all better.

  All I was doing was just running away from my shit and denying the truth about it.

  We were both way too immature. All he wanted to do was smoke weed and party all the time, not take care of a family.

  I have a feeling that the relationship was doomed right from the beginning. The day the divorce was finalized, I came home from the grocery store to find the asshole fucking some stoner chick with his buddy in our own Goddamn bed.

  Little Alex was sleeping in the crib right next to them. I packed a couple bags, grabbed the baby and left.

  Living alone with a little kid and no support sucks. My former in-laws were helpful but I always felt that they silently blamed me for their son’s issues when in reality they predated me.

  I couldn’t take the stress anymore. I was tired of begging for money from my in-laws and friends to pay for rent, diapers and food. I had no skills for a good paying job and could not afford daycare.

  I knew was that leaving Little Alex with his grandparents until I got my life back in order was a better situation for the boy than staying with me.

  According to my former brother-in-law my ex-husband quickly found a whore girlfriend in Colorado who wanted nothing to do with his child and has dropped off the face of the Earth since. His parents are more pissed at him right now than at me.

  Thankfully they are not taking it out on the baby and raising him properly.

  After leaving Alex with his Grandparents I bought a one way bus pass to New Orleans. It was all I could afford.”

  It was not clear to me if the grandparents actually agreed to care for the kid or if Jackie just dumped him on them. She didn’t elaborate all the details to me and I did not feel like it was my business to ask for more.

  Jackie said that she initially returned to New Orleans before going to Florida because she needed to figure a way to find and reunite with her true love, a fifty-four year old psychology professor.

  As it turned out he took a new job during the time period Jackie lost contact with him. While she was living in Texas he moved from New Orleans to Honolulu, Hawaii.

  On the way to her friend’s house we stopped at the nearby corner store. She wanted to get some peppermint gum for her breath. She asked me if I could buy the gum for her since she was so low on cash. I agreed. On the way out of the store she stopped someone walking by and asked them for a cigarette. They gave her one and she started smoking it.