After The Rabbit (Waldo Rabbit Series)

by Chereta, Nelson

  “It’s for your own safety,” the other one hastened to add.

  “I am glad Duke Griffinheart is so worried about us.”

  “Is that Lawgiver?”

  Waldo sighed. Alice and Gronk could easily deal with these two, but he didn’t want to set off an alarm. They needed to sneak away quietly.

  “Alice, why don’t you use one of your Charms and solve this?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you mean one? I see two men standing here.”

  “Oh come now, this should count as one use.”

  “It’s two or nothing.”

  “You’re being unreasonable.”

  “Call it revenge for the thighs.”

  “Badger,” Belle poked a single finger in his direction.

  The two soldiers eyed one another. “Perhaps we should go and speak to the duke.”

  “Fine,” Waldo snarked. “It’ll count as two.”

  Nodding, Alice stepped forward and looked into the eyes of the guards.

  XXX

  Outside the keep’s gate a full squad of soldiers led by a sergeant halted them.

  “I am sorry, Master Rabbit, but you and your companions are not permitted to leave.”

  Waldo glanced at Alice. “I don’t supposed…”

  “I count eight men, you’re going to be deep in my debt.”

  “Oh, come on!”

  “Pardon me Master Rabbit, but is your savage carrying Lawgiver?”

  Waldo groaned and wondered if it would be easier to tell Belle to start smashing.

  XXX

  In the end Alice agreed to only count two Charms against the soldiers at the gate. It still meant that all the Charms he had earned were now spent. They were able to leave without any alarm being raised. As they made their way through the poor quarter of town Waldo was not happy.

  “Everyone keeps noticing the sword, Master. You sure wearing it is such a good idea?”

  “My grandfather, a Great Monster, and who knows what else may be in the area. Since we have a magic sword we may as well keep it within reach.” He glanced at Alice. “If we need to get information don’t expect me to ask you to use your ability again.”

  They approached an old building bursting with the sounds of laughter and loud talk. Outside the door hung a wooden sign with a serpent devouring its own tail.

  Alice smiled. Her fingers flexed at the side of her skirt as she stared at their destination with a strange longing.

  “Don’t worry, darling, this is one time I really don’t want to do things the easy way.”

  Chapter 21

  A Most Excellent Thief

  The inside of the tavern was bathed in the light of several torches. The air was thick with smoke, not only from the torches but from pipes filled with tobacco. Underneath were the scents of cheap ale, sweat, and vomit. About fifty men packed the small common room, there was not a single woman to be seen. In one corner four of them were putting down copper coins and tossing dice. At the bar and at the tables they drank from large mugs filled with ale the color of mud. They argued and told stories, laughed and called each other liars. At one table two men were playing Cups, thirty copper traks were stacked in two neat piles, waiting to be claimed. Several crowded around watching, ready to shout at the first sign of cheating.

  Most of these men had callused hands with thick, dirtied nails. Their clothes were worn and faded, many had greasy hair and unkempt beards. Scars were common, a few were missing an ear or finger, the Hungry Snake was not a place for women or for gentle folk. The tavern was a refuge for a rough element, a safe place where they could gather and enjoy a respite before getting ready for another hard day.

  So when the door opened and Alice stepped inside it was clear she was out of place. Every eye was drawn to her and all the laughter and conversation died away. Even those playing dice or Cups stopped so they could stare. Head held high, and back straight, she sauntered slowly to the bar, every step caused her hips to roll. Mouths hung open as the customers were unable to look away for even an instant.

  So focused were the men on her no one seemed to even notice the arrival of two strangers a moment after.

  Alice pretended not to notice all the hungry stares and the way some of them were drooling. It was easy enough. She didn't have to acknowledge them to know they were drowning in lust. Alice probably wouldn't be hungry for at least a week. When she reached the bar Alice put her back to it and at last looked over her audience.

  “I am looking for a man named Cleptus. He stole something of mine that I want back.”

  A voice from the crowd rang out. “If it’s your virginity I doubt you’ll be getting it back. Trust me, you ain’t the first to ask.”

  Ripples of laughter cascaded through the room.

  It didn’t particularly bother her. All the years as a barmaid had taught her how to ignore rude men. “What he stole wasn’t nearly that precious.”

  Her reply produced a moment of surprised silence, followed by even more laughter.

  “Well that’s true,” a man’s voice replied when the laughter had quieted. “Even though it was a small fortune, I don’t doubt your first would be a treasure beyond counting.”

  From one of the tables he stood and began to stroll over. Alice recognized him and her eyes narrowed.

  “You have a sweet tongue… for a thief.”

  “Oh, the ladies all say they like my tongue. They like other parts even better.”

  That produced howls.

  “What you stole from me would be enough to buy all your pieces a thousand times over. No matter how glib you may seem, you’re nothing but a common thief.”

  “Oh love, you wound me. That’s not so at all.”

  She lifted one eyebrow. “You’re pretending not to be a thief?”

  “What I am saying is I am the legendary Daring. A man who has never been caught, who can pick any lock, and move silently through the night without any trace. I, lovely lady, am a most excellent thief.”

  He stood before her and bowed with a flourish.

  She waited until he had finished and then grabbed him about the neck with one hand and slammed him into the bar.

  “Well, I am one really angry woman. Which of us do you think is the more dangerous?”

  That produced the loudest hilarity yet. He tried to remove her grip, but to no effect. He remained pinned against the bar. No one got up to try and help Cleptus, they just remained where they were enjoying the show. Seeing his face start to turn red Alice loosened her hold enough for him to breathe.

  “You know, you really are a strong wench. What’s your secret?”

  “I am a goddess made flesh, remember?”

  “You are indeed, my love. What say we just sit down somewhere and talk this out? We can go somewhere nice and quiet.”

  “There’s nothing for us to talk about. All I want from you is my purse.”

  “I’ve already told you, my beautiful red haired enchantress, I can’t give you back your coins.”

  “Maybe you’ll feel different after I’ve hurt you.”

  “You know, you’re not the first woman to feel that way towards me. Though usually that comes after we’ve gotten to know each other.” Unnoticed by her he tapped the fingers of his left hand on the bar three times in quick succession. “Most women just slap me. Grabbing me by the neck though, how rough, how unladylike. What other sorts of things do you do, love?”

  From one of the tables two brawny fellows stood. One had a wooden club in his hand, the other a length of rope. They walked up from behind Alice. No one gave any sort of warning of what was about to happen.

  Before they could reach her though a six foot tall stranger stepped in their way. He was a plain looking man who spoke in a lisp. “You need to let a girl handle her problems in her own way.”

  Snatching hold of both fellows, he casually tossed them clear across the room hard enough to knock them out.

  This suddenly brought everyone to their feet, knives were p
roduced in many hands. The mood changed from jovial to hostile in the blink of an eye.

  “Pyro.”

  From a different stranger a stream of fire was sent out overhead. It struck a wooden beam and set it alight. Fortunately some of the people near it were able to douse the flames before they spread.

  “A wizard!” someone cried. “It’s a damn wizard!”

  The men staggered back, those near the door fled.

  “Careful! You want to burn this place down?” The bartender shouted.

  “It would likely be a small loss,” the ordinary looking man said, his wand at the ready.

  The tavern’s customers kept their distance. They were the sort to welcome a fight, but facing down a magic user was something else entirely.

  “Your friends look different from the last time I saw them,” Cleptus said.

  “I know, my husband’s magic is amazing.”

  “My invitation was just for you.”

  “I would have thought from our first run in it was clear I wasn’t interested in you. I just want my purse back.”

  “So it’s all about the money? What a shame.” His left hand tapped the bar twice, paused, and tapped it twice more. “Well, I certainly don’t want to have a White Mage angry with me.”

  Alice narrowed her eyes and tightened her grip just a hair. “So now you’re going to be reasonable?”

  “Hey, I’m no hero. I know when it’s time to quit.”

  “I don’t trust you.”

  “Well I did rob you.”

  “Alice,” the disguised Waldo said. “Time is pressing.”

  “Fine. Gronk, give me some rope so I can tie up his hands.”

  XXX

  “You know you’re much too good at tying a man up. It’s not your first time is it?”

  “Shut up,” Alice gave him a shove to keep him walking.

  “Tying up a great thief like me this way is a bit insulting.”

  Daring had his wrists bound tight and was leading them to the back of the tavern. As soon as they had exited the common room many of the customers had departed.

  “I’m sure the three of us will be able to handle you. Just so you know if this is some sort of trick I am going to take it out of your hide.”

  “Has anyone ever told you that for such a lovely lady you have a really violent disposition?”

  “That’s only with you. I happen to be very sweet and gentle with everyone else.”

  “Well, actually…” Waldo began.

  Alice flashed him a look that dared him to say one more word.

  “Never mind.”

  Daring chuckled as he brought them to an unlocked door. “Grab a torch.”

  With bound hands he opened it to reveal a simple closet. There were mops, buckets, piles of dirty rags, bowls, and chipped mugs.

  “You hid my purse in here?” Alice asked in disbelief.

  Reaching in he pulled a concealed switch beneath one of the shelves. There was a click. Daring pushed the back of the closet to reveal it was a hidden door. Behind it was a ladder leading down into darkness.

  “Not exactly.”

  XXX

  They soon found themselves in a damp tunnel with a single torch to provide light.

  “These are the sewers,” Daring said. “They run all over Norwich. My friends and I added secret entrances and rooms. We can go from one end of the city to the other in complete secrecy and disappear after a job.” He turned to Alice. “Impressed?”

  “I’m standing ankle deep in shit trying not to throw up and you expect me to be impressed?”

  “You have no idea how much work it took to add all these entrances and rooms without anyone finding out.” He actually sounded hurt.

  “Brag about it to an engineer then, Cleptus.”

  “Actually, love, I always just go by my last name, Daring. It suits me better.”

  “Be glad I’m even addressing you by name, Cleptus. I should just call you thief.”

  “It’s Daring.”

  “Cleptus.”

  “Daring.”

  “Cleptus.”

  “Daring.”

  “Cleptus.”

  “This seems oddly familiar,” Waldo said.

  “Want me to knock their heads together Master?”

  “Sure.”

  Alice sent her husband a hooded look. It did bring the argument to a halt.

  “You really should be more awestruck,” Cleptus said. “We can even get outside the city without being spotted. Makes it real easy to smuggle things in and out.”

  Waldo, Alice, and Gronk all suddenly focused on him.

  “Wait a minute. You have a way to get out of Norwich in secret?” Waldo asked.

  “I just said that didn’t I?”

  “This is perfect. After we recover our coins you can lead us out of the city.” Waldo’s companions both nodded.

  Cleptus wore an amused smirk. “And why does a White Mage need to sneak out in the middle of the night? Don’t your sort come and go as you please?”

  “That doesn’t matter.”

  “Why should I help you?” Cleptus asked. “These sewers run for miles and the tunnels all look alike. It’s real easy to get lost down here. If you do stumble over a way out, there’s nothing to say it won’t be right in front of a guardhouse. Why should I do you any favors?”

  Alice leaned in close, baring fangs that hadn’t been there a moment before. “Because we will kill you if you don’t.”

  Without warning he stepped forward and delivered a sudden, rough kiss on her lips.

  Alice’s eyes widened and she instinctively shoved him as hard as she could, knocking him on his ass five feet from her. “Eek!”

  Despite now lying in sewer water Cleptus gave a hearty laugh as he slowly sat up. “For such an aggressive woman you’re actually pretty modest in some ways. What would you do if I did something more than kiss you?”

  “I’d rip you in half,” she growled and took a couple of steps towards him.

  Waldo put himself in her way. “Alice, we need him, remember?”

  She redirected her anger at him. “Is that all you have to say? Another man just kissed me right in front of you.”

  “Fine, I promise to give him a whipping as soon as we don’t need him anymore,” he turned to look at the thief. “You don’t enjoy it do you?”

  Cleptus stared up at him open mouthed.

  Gronk reached down and yanked him up to his feet. “Don’t worry, Master is real good at whippings.”

  “You’re not a very friendly bunch are you? Being a little more peasant might help as we negotiate.”

  “You’re my prisoner, why do you think I need to bargain with you?”

  “Same reason why anyone ever does, I have something you want and you have something I want.”

  “You mean like your life and limbs?”

  “I was thinking of the gold. What do you say about forgetting about your coins and I just show you the way out of the city instead? We can call the contents of your purse the fee for my services.”

  “You are not in a position to bargain with me, thief.”

  “Are you sure about that? I know these tunnels. I can keep you going in circles for days if I like.”

  “With you at our side the entire time.”

  “Assuming you can hold me. I am a most excellent thief.”

  “You got captured pretty easy for a great thief,” Alice pointed out.

  “Catching is one thing, holding another.”

  “I am not going to bargain with you,” Waldo said.

  “Then good luck finding your coins or a way out.”

  “You know, thief, I’ve seen prisoners before. They usually beg for the chance to save themselves. They don’t normally try and make demands.”

  “Well I’m not some helpless captive in a cell,” he looked about. “We are all in the same situation, and right now you need me more than I need you. So, if you’re smart, you’ll make a deal with me.”

  Waldo stood
there in silence for a moment. “You don’t think I can compel you to do what I want?”