A House for Keeping

by Matteson Wynn

  As we went back out into the hallway, Sarah was saying something about how the local Fosters could build or obtain any furnishings I wanted. I nodded occasionally, but mostly tuned her out.

  Okay, so first I had to figure out what kind of test this was. Pass/fail—find the glasses/don’t find the glasses? Or, were there different sections to the test? If I could figure it out, maybe I could mess with her test results. Hell, I could even flunk the test on purpose if I wanted to. My brain cells started rubbing their hands together in evil glee.

  Sarah said, “Ready to go upstairs?”

  “Absolutely,” I smiled. Sarah looked a little alarmed so I toned the smile down from hungry tiger to curious house cat. “I can’t wait to see what’s next.”

  We paused in the hallway when Sarah waved to Hall and Oates, who strode forward.

  Who was she kidding? These guys moved like they were extras in an ‘80s Sylvester Stallone movie. I redubbed them in my head: the dark one was Tango, and the one with the hair was Cash. Sarah handed Cash her teacup. “Are the others in the kitchen?”

  “Yes.”

  Sarah nodded and turned to me. “Upstairs?”

  I headed up the stairs, Sarah behind me. There was a pause, and then I heard a heavy tread. A glance confirmed that Tango was following behind us, again at a distance.

  What did he think I was going to do? Toss her down the staircase? I smiled at the thought before I caught myself and suppressed the section of my brain that thought we should give that some consideration.

  At the top of the stairs, Sarah turned around and faced a closed door at the front of the house. “This is the master suite. The room is Meg’s right now, so I don’t feel comfortable intruding on her private space, but let me just say that it’s light and airy, lots of windows and lots of space.” Sarah turned to face down the hallway toward the back of the house. “As you can see there’s plenty of room for the housekeeper to spread out. You can turn any of these rooms into anything you like. For example, you could have an exercise room and a sewing room and a craft room and an office—you can have them all. You don’t have to pick and choose.”

  “And there’s plenty of room for guests,” I added.

  “Yes, of course,” said Sarah, striding down the hallway. I followed her, but to my surprise, she didn’t stop at any of the rooms. Maybe now that she thought I’d flunked at least part of the test, she’d just breeze through the rest of her tour.

  I glanced at my door on the way by, longing to check in on Fuzzy, but Sarah was already near the end of the hall.

  Oh the hell with it. “Hang on.” I poked my head into my room. Fuzzy was asleep on my pillow. For a second, I debated sliding into the room, locking the door, and curling up with him. But I could only imagine the chaos that’d cause, so I backed out and closed the door.

  Sarah stood at the head of the back stairs, waiting. “All good?”

  “Yup, my kitten’s asleep,” I said, as I approached her.

  “Great. Then we have time to go see the outside,” she said, and started down the stairs ahead of me.

  I glanced behind me before following her, and sure enough, Tango was still following us. So weird. I faced forward again and noticed that the door to the right of the stairs had popped open a bit.

  “Hey Sarah?” I called. “What’s in here?”

  As she clacked back up the stairs to reach me, I pulled open the door. A set of stairs led upward. A dry, musty smell wafted down the stairs, making my nose itch.

  Sarah appeared next to me and said, “Oh, that’s just the attic. You’re welcome to explore it on your own time, but it’s not part of my tour. It’s a dusty mess, full of junk and spiders.” She shut the door with a shudder, turned to the staircase and said, “After you.”

  I shrugged and trudged down the stairs. Spiders didn’t particularly bother me, but I knew that some people freaked out over them. I could always check the attic out later.

  We reached the bottom of the stairs, trekked through the mudroom, and over to the back door. Cash was standing by the kitchen doorway. Nor, Wil, Meg, and Doug were inside, milling about. They all turned to look at me as I followed Sarah outside, but no one said anything or made a move to follow us. Uh huh. I bet it was because they weren’t allowed to. Because, you know, I WAS TAKING A TEST. I swallowed my scowl and went out onto the porch with Sarah. Of course, Tango followed us.

  With the sun out in full, I could see that the garden was much bigger than I’d realized. It stretched back to the far tree line.

  “As you can see, the yard needs some work,” said Sarah. “As housekeeper, you can landscape the property any way you want, and you have a whole army of Foster family gardening staff at your disposal to help you.”

  My fingers twitched at the thought of salvaging that lovely wreck of a garden. I asked, “How did the garden get so fallow?”

  “Gardening isn’t everyone’s thing. Each housekeeper gets to make their own choices about such things. In fact, it’s not even necessary to have a garden at all. I think Meg’s plan is to plow it under, and plant some grass. You could too, if you like.”

  Get rid of the garden? I was really starting to dislike these people. I didn’t trust myself to say anything, so I nodded at Sarah and tried to hide my dismay.

  “Let’s stroll,” she said.

  I glanced at Sarah’s shoes. If she wanted to teeter along on the lawn in heels, well, that was her prerogative. As for my own shoe, the glasses tucked in it still felt secure, so I shrugged and said, “Sure.”

  We stepped off the porch, and Sarah led me to the left. I was disappointed to see that she moved as gracefully as if she was inside—no teetering in sight. The ground was soft, but somehow, even with her pointy heels, she didn’t sink in at all. Of course she didn’t. Heaven forbid she get mud on her shoes.

  “The house sits on a few hundred acres, which, as you’ve seen, are quite beautiful. It’s another advantage to being housekeeper. You have access to all this pristine land.”

  We reached the edge of the woods and Sarah turned, walking around the side of the house. When we walked under my bedroom window, I looked up to see Fuzzy looking out the window at me. I must’ve woken him up when I checked on him. I gave him a little finger wave and mentally begged him to stay put in my room.

  We reached the front edge of the house, but we didn’t head for the front door like I expected. Sarah continued on, heading along the driveway and away from the house. After a glance and a wave from Sarah, Tango, who’d been trailing us, stepped up onto the porch, where he took a position watching us as we followed the driveway.

  Sarah used her serious voice to say, “Now that you’ve heard about some of the advantages of being the housekeeper, we can circle around to one of its major disadvantages.”

  “Oh?”

  “I’m sorry to say that being housekeeper makes you the focus of a lot of…jealous energy. Given the special nature of the house, there are other people who want access to it. Of course, part of the housekeeper’s duties is to protect the house from outsiders. And that, unfortunately, angers the people who don’t have access. I’m so sorry I didn’t have a chance to warn you about any of this before you went on your walk this morning. How are you feeling, by the way? How’s your head?”

  Nice of her to ask this far into the tour. I said, “I’m fine. A little sore, a little tired. No big deal.”

  “Well, I want you to know I had a chat with Meg, and I feel confident she had nothing to do with your…incident this morning. The whole thing was just bad timing.”

  “How so?”

  “You just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. The house is old, you know, and I daresay it’s feeling its age. Aren’t we all, though? Ah well.” She sighed and gave me a wistful smile. “Anyway, while age is certainly a factor, the truth is that whenever we’re searching for a new housekeeper, the house is especially vulnerable. With only an interim housekeeper in place, the house isn’t up to full strength. To take ad
vantage of that fact, our enemies watch the borders of the property and look for ways to cause trouble. That’s why it’s in your best interest to stick close to the house until the weekend is over. For your own safety.”

  That explanation had holes so big you could drive a truck through them. But I didn’t point them out. Instead, I said, “Well, I don’t really have a choice, do I? You’ve given orders that we have to stay here.”

  “As I said, it’s for your own safety. And it’s not like you hadn’t already planned to be here.”

  When she put it that way, it almost sounded reasonable. But I still felt like a prisoner. “What if I relinquish my spot? Then can I leave?”

  “I’m sorry, but for the safety of all you candidates, it’s best if we all stay put till we’re done. If it’s any consolation, I’ll be sequestered here as well.”

  Actually, that made things worse, but I didn’t think I should say that. I glanced at Tango. I wondered if the real reason he and Cash were here was to enforce Sarah’s orders. I could totally see them tying me to a chair if I tried to make a break for it.

  We reached the two enormous trees that formed the entrance to the grove where the house lived. I wandered over to the trunk of the closest one and ran my hand along the bark. Looking up into the canopy made me wonder if climbing up and changing my physical perspective would somehow give me a better mental perspective on this whole test thing. My best bet now was to go talk to Nor and Wil and see what I could do about getting out of here.

  Sarah had moved several feet away from the trunk and appeared to be deep in thought.

  I wandered over next to her. Time for me to end this and get away from her. I said, “So, in broad strokes, that’s it then? That’s the pitch you’re required to give me?”

  “Well, really, this is just an outline. There’s a lot more to it.”

  “That’s okay. I’m good. Let me save you some time and effort. I don’t want the job. Had anyone bothered to ask me, or told me what this whole weekend was really about, I would have told you that from the start.” Some of my anger was creeping into my voice.

  A little voice in the back of my mind reminded me that if I’d never come here, I’d never have seen these glorious trees, never met the amazing house, never met Fuzzy.

  I pointed out to that little voice that that just made things worse. Now I was going to be sad about all the new things I’d be leaving behind. I got even angrier as I realized that I was going to be forced to lose more stuff. Because, you know, I hadn’t lost enough already.

  The little voice shut up.

  While this little debate was going on in my head, Sarah was giving me another one of her assessing looks. She raised an eyebrow and said, “Don’t you want to know about the extra benefits that come with working with the house?”

  “Not really, no. ” And if she started in about a 401k I was gonna start yelling. Sarah sighed, so I added, “But hey, you’ve done your duty. Said your thing. So, thanks for that.” I couldn’t help it. The “thanks” dripped with sarcasm. Maybe she wouldn’t notice, but if she did, I didn’t really care.

  I started to walk away, back to the house.

  Sarah said, “And where do you think you’re going?”

  “The tour seems to be winding down, so I’m going back to the house.”

  “No.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Sarah stepped in front of me. Then she made a show of nudging the ground with the pointy toe on her fancy shoe.

  At first, I thought she was drawing a literal line in the dirt, daring me to cross it. I started to laugh, but gasped instead. The patch of ground I was standing on turned to liquid. It sucked me in, up to mid-calf, then solidified around my legs.

  I yelped and tried to pull myself free.

  “What the hell! Did you do this?”

  She smiled.

  Oh for pity’s sake.

  Gram could make it hail.

  Lou did the sound dampening trick.

  Of course Sarah would have her own wacko gadget.

  I kept pulling at my legs, panting as I tried to break free. Sarah stepped out of range of my flailing arms. Far enough away that I couldn’t grab her. Or slug her. Which was sounding better and better as I struggled.

  “What did you…how did you—let me out!” Fists balled at my side, I stopped struggling and glared at Sarah.

  She said, “We’re not quite done yet. And I require your full attention while we complete this next part of our talk.”

  Despite her skirt, Sarah squatted down. She put one hand on the ground and closed her eyes.

  What was she doing?

  Her eyes snapped open, she looked startled, and then a cold, hard light entered her eyes. She flicked a glance at me, then stared at my right leg where it met the ground.

  I could feel the dirt around my legs liquefy again. I tried yanking my legs out, but it was like standing in quicksand. The harder I pulled, the harder the mud sucked at my legs.

  The mud felt like a living thing as it oozed up my pant legs and down my socks and shoes. I felt the mud slide between the glasses and my skin, and then the glasses slipped out of my sock and were sucked away. A moment later, they sprouted from the ground next to Sarah’s hand. The ground around my leg became solid again.

  How did she do that? My mind boggled trying to figure out what kind of gadget could make dirt behave that way. Maybe it was hidden in one of her rings or her bracelets? It occurred to me that I was so far out of my league that it would have been funny if I wasn’t so freaked out.

  Sarah looked at the glasses, then looked up at me. It was not a happy look. Keeping her eyes on my face, slowly she stood up, leaving the glasses on the ground between us like a gauntlet.

  Crossing her arms, Sarah stared hard at me. Then, she paced a slow circle around me. She didn’t say anything, but she looked me over from every angle. By the time she started a second circle around me, my skin was crawling.

  From behind me, she said, “Cheating, Finn?”

  I knew she was trying to spook me, but I didn’t know why. Not sure how to play this, I tamped down on my anger and went for clueless, which wasn’t that big of a stretch. I had no idea what she was up to now. “How can I be cheating when you said I’m not being tested?”

  A pause. “Indeed.”

  Sarah reached my front again and faced me. She gave me a small smile. “Well, I dare say you’ve figured out by now that our little tour did include round two of the test, or else, why hide the glasses from me?”

  She leaned in a little, and I had to work really hard not to lean back. “I really do not approve of you trying to throw the results of the test. It just isn’t done.”

  She straightened away from me, and I felt like I could breathe again. I said, “I wasn’t throwing anything.” Well, at least I hadn’t decided yet exactly what I was going to do, but she didn’t need to know that. “I was gonna give you the glasses when we were done.”

  She arched an eyebrow at me, and some of my irritation broke through. “Hey, it’s not my fault! I wasn’t sure what the rules were since you a) didn’t explain them to me, and b) you totally lied to me in the first place about not doing the test yet.” I glared at her. “So can I go now?”

  I tugged on my legs again. I was still stuck. I couldn’t help but ask, “What did you do anyway?”

  The smile she gave me sent a shiver up my spine. “This little demonstration? This is nothing. Just something to get your attention. To show you, Finn, that the Fosters have so much to offer.”

  I nodded. “This is majorly advanced tech, I’ll give you that. But you’ve made your point. I’m impressed. Now let me out.”

  “Tech?” The creepy smile she was wearing bloomed. “What makes you think this—” she swept a hand toward my imprisoned legs “—was done by some kind of tech?”

  That sounded like what Nor had said. “What else would it be?” I asked. An uneasy feeling swept through me. It had to be tech, didn’t it? That was the only thing t
hat made logical, scientific sense.

  Sarah clasped her hands behind her back, a smug smile playing on her lips, as she strode back and forth like a commander in front of her ranks. Or a warden in front of her prisoner. She said, “How is it that you think I was able to trap you in the ground just now? For that matter, how is it that you think someone was able to target you with hail this morning?”

  I frowned. “I don’t know. Some kind of high tech gadget.”

  She laughed. “Really? You jumped straight to technology? How interesting. Your parents really didn’t tell you anything, did they.”

  I’d already answered that question like a zillion times so I just gave her a look.

  “Didn’t it occur to you, Finn, that maybe the things happening here could have a different explanation?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like something more…supernatural.”

  “You mean like magic or something?”

  “Exactly.”

  It was my turn to smile. “No.”

  “And why not?”

  With a snicker, I said, “Because I’m not an idiot. And because I live in the real world, that’s why.” I sounded sure of what I was saying, but a niggling doubt joined my sense of unease. No way was I giving her the satisfaction of seeing it, though.

  “Ah, how apropos that you should bring that up. You have been living in the world, but the real world, so to speak, is a much broader place than the sorry hobbled version your parents confined you to. Lucky for you, that’s all about to change.”

  “You want to start trading ‘Yo mama’ insults, let’s go. Otherwise, leave my parents out of this.”

  Sarah raised an eyebrow. “Really? That’s what you got out of what I’m saying?”

  I gave her my best look of pure disbelief. “Oh I heard you. You’re trying to sell me on the idea that all the weirdness I’ve been seeing is magic. Okay, lemme guess…the next thing you’re going to tell me is that the house is magic, too. And then I’ll be so excited that I’ll be all—” I clasped my hands together like I was begging, “‘Oh please can I be the housekeeper?’” I put my hands on my hips. “Man, you must be really desperate to resort to this line of bull—er, baloney.”