by Jill Shalvis
The only sounds in the room were the rustling bedcovers, the rain against the window. And then deepening silence as he slowly pulled back to gaze, shocked, into Lani's face.
The room went bright as day with a bolt of lightning, followed by a boom that rattled the entire house.
Lani jerked.
"It's okay. It's getting farther and farther away."
"I know." But she swallowed hard. "I'm not afraid anymore."
Those huge eyes of hers were full of secrets that he didn't know. He didn't want to know, or so he told himself.
She took his hand in hers and placed it over her racing heart. His long fingers skimmed over warm, giving flesh and curves, and he groaned. He liked the helplessly aroused sounds escaping her throat, the way she'd plastered her delectable body to his. He liked—
He liked her.
And no amount of distancing himself was going to change that.
"Colin—" She tried to wrap him closer.
He was losing himself in her, unable to remember why this shouldn't happen.
"Now," she whispered in a voice that told him exactly how much she needed him.
In response, he found himself raining open-mouthed kisses down her slim neck, over her collarbone, nudging her plain white T-shirt up as he went until he got to … ah, a ripe, warm curve, just begging for his touch.
She gasped. "More. Hurry."
"I'm exploring," he muttered around her heated, sweet flesh. "Don't rush me."
Her arms slipped from around his neck, down the taut muscles of his back. Unable to keep still, he undulated his hips, thrusting against the soft core of her, caught up in a rhythm as old as time.
And suddenly, he wanted to hurry every bit as much as she did.
Lani gave him everything, her lips, her tongue, her passion. He'd expected an awkwardness, that first-time ineptitude. Bumping noses, grinding teeth, but with Lani, there was none of that, nothing except for a horrifying feeling that this was exactly as it was supposed to be.
He'd had women before, even women he knew less well than he knew Lani, but never had he felt as though he'd been given so much. It made him want to give in return, as her hunger fueled and fed his own. Both tenderness and savagery tore through him, equally mixed. He should have known it would be this way with her.
He kissed her again. His hands danced over her body. Her legs were bare. Beneath his fingers, her body quivered.
"Colin…"
His name had never sounded so sexy before. Her eyes drifted closed, but they flew open again, dazed and unseeing, when his hands cupped her breasts.
"Colin!"
He thought maybe he could get used to the way she cried out his name, all throaty and full of yearning. In fact, he wanted to hear it again, so he held back, just palming her warm curves.
Her fingers clenched and unclenched on his chest, her head tossed on the pillow and, when his thumbs rasped over her tight, puckered nipples, she again gasped his name.
He smiled in satisfaction. "Is that what you wanted, Lani?"
She made some unintelligible sound that turned him on even more. This was like a project, he thought with hazy delight, only better, much better. He wanted to take her slowly apart and watch her explode, then help put her back together again.
"Lani?" He pulled her T-shirt all the way off, exposing her to his gaze. She was perfect, beyond perfect. He bent over her, his mouth hovering as he let his fingers tease. "Does this feel good?"
She squirmed beneath the torment. "Yes!" she gasped, reaching for him. "More. Please, more."
"Like this?" He drew a taut, aching peak into his mouth, laying the very tip with his tongue, switching sides in tune to Lani's soft, seductive moan. "And this?" he wondered. "Are you sure—" his tongue swirled over her, then he sucked strongly "—this is what you wanted?"
Her hips were rocking against his and he knew she was nearly mindless. He didn't know what had come over him to tease her like this, he himself was dying, hot, and so unbelievably hard. It had been so long for him, and he'd thought all he wanted was to plunge into her and seek the oblivion that sex always provided. But he realized he wanted more. He wanted her to take that wild journey with him.
"Colin…"
His name again, in that breathless, sexy, hoarse, needy whisper. "I'm right here," he promised.
She reached up to pull him to her.
"No, no stay like that," he whispered. He didn't think he could take her touch, not yet, so he held her hands above her head for a moment until he knew she would keep them there. "Let me … Lani, let me…"
And he slid down, down her body, delivering hot kisses over every inch he passed until he was kneeling between her legs, gazing down at her gorgeous, straining body. In the pale glow of the night, her skin was creamy and lustrous. "You're … stunning," he whispered thickly, unbelievably close to the edge and she hadn't even touched him. He was going to lose it, just staring at her.
He jerked when her fingers brushed against the taut skin low on his belly, and he gripped her hand in his. "No," he whispered, knowing if she touched him again, it would be over in one second, maybe two. "Don't, Lani." He held her immobile, staring deep into her hungry eyes. "Don't move."
* * *
Chapter 5
« ^ »
Lani lay still with an effort, aware of how exposed she was, of the way Colin was looking at her while she lay spread and vulnerable. It was nothing less than thrilling—with his nostrils flaring, his chest rising and falling rapidly, all that power and passion within him barely leashed.
Heat suffused her, and it wasn't embarrassment, but need, sharp and unrelenting need.
His hands cupped her face, surprisingly gentle. "You're beautiful, Lani."
She'd never been told that before, much less even thought it, but Colin's soft, genuine voice made her believe it.
His fingers trailed slowly, ever so slowly, down her throat, around her breasts, lingering, then over her belly. He met her gaze as he drew her panties down past her thighs, her calves, then finally off, tossing them over his shoulder as he rose up, towering over her. He touched his mouth to her neck, sucking and nibbling. Then he kissed her, long and hard, drawing the need out, intensifying it.
"Colin … touch me."
He merely smiled against her skin and dragged his mouth down to a nipple, where he spent another long moment.
She was going to die. "More!"
Keeping his mouth to her breast, he trailed a hand up her trembling, restless legs. "Where?"
He wanted her to tell him? In words? She didn't know if she could. Yes, somehow she'd lost every ounce of inhibition she'd ever had, but to actually tell him what pleased her…
"Here?" he wondered, stroking behind her knee.
Her hips thrust upward impatiently and he let his fingers trace higher and higher, circling ever so close, but not quite close enough.
She nearly screamed. Her body arched, her eyes closed tightly and she reached for him, stroking him through his pants once, twice before he managed to stop her. "Not yet."
It was his turn to gasp when she ignored him and stroked again. "I'm ready!" she whispered impatiently. "I am!"
"Hmm. Maybe after this … if you're good." He scooped her hips in his hands and brought her to his mouth, where he introduced her to yet another sort of delicious torture.
His talented, greedy tongue dipped, slid, probed and languidly lapped, coaxing an earth-shattering climax out of her. When she floated back down to earth, the rain had lightened.
No more thunder or lightning.
Her fear of it was long gone.
And she was cuddled in Colin's arms, against his rock-solid chest. His face was buried in her hair.
She realized he was the one trembling, his big body taut as a bow. "You didn't—I mean, don't you want—" The words tumbled awkwardly to a stop. "Colin?"
He kissed her, pulling away when she would have deepened the connection, backing from her when she tried to tug him over her.
"W
e can't." He groaned when she wrapped her fingers around the huge, hot, throbbing part of him that assured her that he still wanted her, very much.
She didn't understand. "You changed your mind?"
"Not likely." He rose, regret lining his face. "I don't have any protection."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh." Tension outlined his every muscle. "I think we're better off in our separate bedrooms."
Her body was still on fire. She needed him inside her. "How could you not have … you know?"
At her disbelief, he let out a little laugh, but it held no mirth. "I'm not really in the habit of needing any," he admitted.
"You … really?"
"You sound so amazed." He lifted a shoulder. "It's been a long time for me, Lani."
She had no idea why, but the thought was endearing and her heart warmed toward him even more. She watched as he untangled his limbs from hers. Without any sign of self-consciousness, he adjusted his pants up and over the biggest erection she'd ever imagined, and grimacing a little, he walked to the door.
She called his name softly.
He stilled, the long, sleek lines of his back glimmering in the dark. After a second, he glanced over his shoulder at her. His eyes were still smoldering, ensuring her it would be a long, sleepless night for him, too.
She smiled, feeling almost shy, which was ridiculous after what they'd just shared. "It's been a long time for me, too," she whispered.
He smiled and it stopped her heart.
Then he was gone.
* * *
It might never have happened—the nightmare, Colin's magic touch, any of it, except that her body tingled knowingly at just the sight of him.
Lani pressed her hands to the butterflies dancing in her belly and, pretending she really belonged there, she let the swinging kitchen doors shut behind her as she walked in.
Colin sat at the table, expression intense, head bent over a cup of steaming coffee and a newspaper. His dark hair was wet and pushed off his forehead as if he had no time for such things as picking up a comb. The black shirt he wore looked soft and incredibly masculine, especially given that he hadn't yet finished buttoning it up. His skin was smooth and sleek and rippled with strength.
Her fingers itched to touch.
His long legs were stretched out in front of him, covered in slate-gray trousers, tailor-made to show off every exceptional inch of him. His feet were bare.
"Colin." The name floated off her lips in a tone of longing before she could stop herself, and he lifted his gaze, holding her hostage with nothing more than his eyes. He nodded at her, managing to hold all his thoughts safe and sound, giving nothing of himself away, and again, Lani had to remind herself that last night had not been a dream, but a hot, welcome reality.
He had touched her. He had shown her an unrestrained passionate side of him that until now she'd only fantasized about.
There was no further sound, nothing except for the little squeak Lani could have sworn her heart made at the cool, distancing look in his eyes.
Pushing his coffee away, he rose. He towered over her, all elegant, male grace as he moved to the door, clearly unwilling to spend even a moment with her.
He was probably afraid she'd beg him to touch her again, she thought, blushing, because she held no illusions, she had begged him last night. Still, she pushed her chin in the air, not having to force the spurt of fierce pride. "You forgot to take your cup to the sink."
He stopped, his hand on the door, and looked at her, clearly surprised. "What?"
Ah, he could speak in the morning. Granted it was a rough and gruff sort of voice, assuring her he'd not been long out of bed, which only increased the fluttering low in her stomach because he sounded so irrationally sexy. "I'm not your maid today," she reminded him. "Only once a week, remember?"
His eyes darkened and she knew he was remembering last night, too. She certainly hadn't been the maid then, had she?
"You're right. Excuse me," he said and went back to the table. He grabbed his cup and took it to the sink, though he didn't rinse it or put it in the dishwasher, just set it in the sink. When he turned and caught her eye, he lifted a brow as if in a dare.
She said nothing. She knew he rarely took care of his dishes in the morning because whenever she came to clean, there was always a stack in the sink. If he thought he was going to get a nagging pretend fiancée, he was in for a surprise.
Instead she called out cheerfully as she opened the door. "Have a good day!"
He hesitated, body stone still, and she couldn't resist adding, "Nice talking to you, Colin. You're so sweet and chipper in the morning."
He turned and faced her. "I'm never sweet and chipper."
"I hadn't noticed." She bit her lip. "We're not going to talk about it, are we?"
His eyes went wary. "Do we have to?"
"It might help."
"I doubt it."
"We're supposed to be getting to know each other. Glaring at me over your morning coffee as if you can't remember why I'm here isn't going to solve your problem."
He drew in a deep, ragged breath and let it out slowly. He ran his fingers through his drying hair. The scent of him drifted to her, woodsy soap and a hint of clean, healthy male. "I remember why you're here," he said.
How could he forget, Colin wondered, when he was still feeling her skin beneath his fingertips, still tasting her on his lips?
After he'd left her, he hadn't slept a wink. It had been impossible with his body aching and needy, his mind unable to forget the image of Lani in sheer bliss.
"Colin."
He nearly leaped out of his skin when she came close and set her hand on his. The top of her head barely met his chin. Her eyes were compassionate and full of things that made it hard to look at her, but he couldn't tear his gaze away.
"Don't Lani. Don't say it. This is my doing, I know it."
She shook her head, her eyes warm and soft. And dammit, she continued to touch him in that comforting yet madly arousing way. It wasn't difficult to imagine how it would be between them if he said the hell with his decision not to mislead her or hurt her, if he pulled her body to his and slowly stripped off those ridiculously ugly overalls until she wore nothing but a hot, needy look on her face and his name on her lips.
"It'll work out," she assured him with a little pat. "You'll see." Her fingers ran up his arm and then to his chest.
He captured her wandering hand, but not before the sizzling connection aroused him. He'd slept that way, and after touching her, after watching her come in his arms, he just might sleep in that uncomfortable state for the rest of his life.
Her sweet, beguiling smile never wavered. "I'll put the ad in the paper announcing our engagement today."
How the hell had he done this to himself? he wondered, looking down into her eager-to-please eyes. "Lani, I don't think—"
"Now, I have to get to work, but don't worry so much," she soothed, gently pushing him out of the kitchen, dismissing him with an ease that was startling. "Being so stressed will give you wrinkles."
Wrinkles. He was about to blow the zipper off his pants and she was worried about wrinkles.
"If you'd like, after work I'll cook dinner. We should sit around and talk."
"Talk."
"Yes." She seemed amused. "We have to get to know each other, remember? Your mother is coming tomorrow. And I'm not trying to criticize you here, but you really don't have the look of a man madly in love. We'll have to work on that."
He closed his eyes.
"It's fine," she insisted, again touching him, slipping her hands around his waist. "Everything is going to be fine."
He remembered those hands, remembered how they'd encircled him, driven him to the very edge with those slow, sure, mind-blowing strokes—
His own groan vented the air.
"Colin—" She hesitated and he opened his eyes, looking over his shoulder to meet her unsure gaze. "Thanks for being there for me last night. You know, after my ni
ghtmare."
He'd worried about that, too. What haunted her? He hadn't wanted to spend any more time than absolutely necessary thinking about her, but nothing had gone as planned so far—he shouldn't have been surprised by the depth of his concern. "Do you have them often?"
"Dreams? Yeah. My favorite is the one where I get to go to Hawaii and snorkel."
"The nightmares, Lani."
She bowed her head, studied her fingernails which were short and unpainted. "Not too much anymore."
"What are they from?"
Her head tipped up at that, and amusement crossed her face. "What's this? Genuine curiosity? Hmm, maybe you're going to be better at this than I thought." Her smile faded. "Are we going to share a bed when your family comes?"
She looked suddenly unsure, vulnerable. He wouldn't hurt or lead this woman on, not for anything, not even to save his sorry hide. "That wasn't part of the original deal, was it?"
"No," she whispered.
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Ever."
"You won't," she said quickly. "And we really should share a bed—I mean bedroom. For your mom's sake."
He cleared his throat around the knot of desire there. "Yeah."
"Are you … um…" A red flush worked its way up her face. "You know, going to the store to get … what you need?"
It took him only a second to realize what his sweet little fiancée wanted to know. "It's not a good idea."
"I see." She backed away from him, her smile wavering. "Well. Have a great day, Colin. See you tonight."
Tonight. God, tonight. How could he continue to resist her? Having a condom would be little protection against the true danger—her worming her way into his heart.
After she was gone, Colin stared at the swinging door, the image of her expressive eyes imprinted on his mind. They'd held honest affection when she'd looked at him. Warm compassion. Humor. And hope.
It was that last emotion that was going to be the hardest of all to resist.
* * *
Great-aunt Jennie tossed back some of her sparkling cider, heavily liberated with her not-so-secret stash of whiskey, wheezing when it went down the wrong way.
Lani shook her head with a shudder when her aunt offered her the jug. "No thanks."
