by Jill Shalvis
He was beginning to realize that. "I know."
"Loyal, dedicated. Sweet, too, and very kind."
"But?" Colin pushed away his work. It held little appeal at the moment. "I'm sure I heard one at the end of that sentence."
"Well…" Claudia sent him an apologetic look to soften her words. "Truth is, I think she's too wonderful for you. She'll want more than you'll give her, Colin."
"And what would that be?" he said, amused now. "I have more money than I know what to do with, a huge house with every amenity she could ever want. There's nothing missing. I can give her whatever she needs."
Claudia's look turned pitying. "See? That's exactly what I mean. You don't have a clue as to how to keep a woman like that." She gave him a long look that made him squirm. "Or maybe you do, and you just don't want to see it."
"I have a call," he said, conveniently remembering. He picked up the phone, almost forgetting that this whole thing was just a sham. That he didn't have to justify anything to his secretary. That it didn't really matter what anyone thought because what he had with Lani was just temporary.
Temporary.
But before he pressed in the phone line, he watched Claudia shake her head in disgust, watched her leave … and knew she spoke the truth.
He didn't have a clue as to how to keep a woman like Lani. Any woman.
And he had an ex-wife to prove it.
* * *
Colin glared at his office phone. He hadn't been able to reach Lani all day, either at the house or at her office.
Had she bolted, tired of the charade?
He couldn't blame her, but hoped not, and not because he'd have nothing to tell his interfering mother and aunts. He just couldn't leave things between them as they were now.
It was only three in the afternoon, an hour of the day he rarely saw because he usually had his head buried in work, but he actually got up and left his office. At the moment, he couldn't have buried himself in his work to save his sorry life, and he had Lani's huge, expressive eyes to thank.
He couldn't get them out of his mind. How was she feeling about last night?
All he'd ever wanted was peace and quiet. He'd never wanted to hurt anyone; not his family and certainly not Lani.
How he had managed to get himself in such trouble was beyond him.
He drove up to her apartment, once again struck by the differences in their life-styles. He walked up the cracked, crumbling driveway, wishing he could get Lani a better place to live. But he knew she'd never accept such help from him.
She worked so hard. It didn't seem fair that this was all she had to show for it.
"She's not here."
He turned and was surprised to see an old woman speaking to him. She was tiny, at least eighty years old, and dressed in hot-pink-and-red spandex. "Excuse me?" he said politely.
"Lani. She's who you're looking for, isn't she? Your … fiancée?"
"You know Lani?"
That made her laugh until her rust-colored curls bounced. Well, actually cackle would be a better word for what she did. She bent at the waist, slapped her knees and let loose. Finally, sniffing, she straightened. Still grinning, she nodded. "Yep, I know her." Grabbing a rake, she leaned against the fence of the small garden.
For the first time, Colin realized that while the apartment building itself looked as though it had seen better days, the garden was full and lush and well tended.
"The question is," the woman asked. "Do you know Lani?"
She was missing some marbles, Colin decided. "I'm sorry. You're…?"
"Ah, no doubt you're right. Where are my manners? We've not been introduced. Strange, wouldn't you say, since I'm Lani's great-aunt Jennie?" She eyed him shrewdly, acknowledging his surprise with a lift of a gray eyebrow.
Lani had a crazy woman for an aunt?
"I raised your soon-to-be-wife," she told him. "But, of course, you knew that, since you're engaged to her. You know everything about her. Right?"
Somehow he'd managed to step into an episode of the "X-Files."
Great-Aunt Jennie winked, then leaned close and whispered conspiratorially, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Pretend Fiancé."
She knew.
Unperturbed by his silence, Great-Aunt Jennie made herself comfortable on a wooden bench and tapped the spot next to her.
Colin sat.
The old woman smiled, her pink-and-red workout suit glittering in the relentless sun. "Next to you, I'm all Lani has," she confided. "But you knew that already, too, right?"
He should have. That message came loud and clear.
"She loves flowers, did you know that?" Jennie asked. "She also loves loud music, kids and has a serious weak spot for kittens. And Lord, does that girl have a sweet tooth. It's amazing how good a figure she has, given what she eats. Did you know she has a particular thing for white chocolate?"
A real fiancé would know these things, and more, about the woman he loved.
He would also know where to find her on any given day.
"And I don't have to tell you her dislikes, namely vegetables and exercise," Jennie said easily. "Or that she fears violent thunderstorms because her parents died in one."
Colin remembered Lani's fear well. Terrified, she'd clutched at him every time thunder had hit. "I didn't know that," he admitted.
"You should have."
"Yes." He most definitely should have.
Sadness was etched in Jennie's every movement as she stood and dragged the rake across a few fallen leaves. "I'm sorry. I love her and I'm upset. I'm taking it out on you, and that's very unkind of me. Inexcusable actually. Please forgive me. It's not you I'm mad at, but my darling, huge-hearted, idiot niece."
"Lani's parents—"
"Died when she was six." She lifted her head and met his gaze with her own steady one. "I'm her mother and her father now and her best friend. I'm certain you're not good for her, but one of these days, I'll learn to let her make her own mistakes."
Colin could not dispel the image of Lani as a child, frightened and alone, facing her parents' death at such a young age.
"And don't bother to ask me anything else. I won't tell you." She lifted a stubborn chin, sharing a strong resemblance to Colin's equally stubborn fiancée. "Whatever you want to know, you'll have to ask her yourself."
"I will." Soon as he could find her. He stood, intending to do just that.
"Lani told me about you." When he pivoted back around, startled, Jennie set the rake aside and pierced him with sharp blue eyes. "She told me you were smart and compassionate and wonderful."
Colin blinked in surprise, but Jennie only nodded. "She's a very generous soul, my Lani."
Pride tasted like hell, but Colin swallowed it anyway. "Do you know where I could find her?"
"Depends why you want her."
Because I miss her. But because that was a ridiculous thought, he shook his head to clear it. "I'd like to talk to her."
Jennie just looked at him, smiling. Silent. Smug.
Dammit. "Okay, I hurt her feelings. I have to see her, try to talk to her about it."
She was silent for so long, Colin thought she'd fallen asleep leaning on her rake.
"She's working," she said at last. "Too hard, if you ask me."
Again, another message. But Jennie didn't understand how complicated this was. Under their present terms, Lani would never allow him to help her financially, no matter how much he'd like to. "I called her office already," he said. "She wasn't there."
"Of course not." Jennie's expression made it clear that she thought he was the crazy one. "She doesn't spend all day sitting behind a desk, Mr. Pretend Fiancé. Not like other people. No, she's out there working her fingers to the raw bone, cleaning rich people's places because they don't want to do it themselves."
Well he had to hand it to the woman. In the space of the few minutes that he'd been there, she'd made him feel ridiculous, selfish, greedy and now guilty.
But Lani liked her work, didn't she? God, he
didn't know, he'd never even asked. "I just want to talk to her. We have a lot to work out. Most of which is a direct result of my own stupidity, if you must know."
Jennie laughed loudly. "Nice to see a man admit it."
"Can you tell me where to find her? Please?"
Jennie hesitated a long moment, and Colin knew he was being seriously measured. He had no idea what Lani had told Jennie about him. Hell, up until now, he'd had no idea who made up Lani's family.
How could he not have known that? How could he not have asked?
"She'll be cleaning Dr. Morrow's offices today," Jennie said finally. "On Main Street."
"Thank you," he said sincerely, but something had him hesitating, and it took him a second to realize he wanted this woman's approval. For Lani's sake. For his. The feeling was so alien, he didn't know what to do with it, but he found himself saying, "I won't hurt her."
"Of course you will." Her smile was sad, and she suddenly looked much older than she had before.
When he opened his mouth to protest, she lifted a hand with a sharp shake of her head. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Colin. I know this engagement isn't real, at least not to you."
She didn't have to tell Colin what she thought of that, it was all over her face.
"Lani has talked herself into believing she's helping you," she said. "And maybe she is, but believe me, she'll get hurt. I'm not happy with you for that."
She walked back into her house, leaving Colin to his own miserable thoughts.
* * *
Colin had no trouble finding Dr. Morrow's offices on Main Street. He had no trouble parking, no trouble at all walking into the building, the one with a brightly colored sign announcing that today was Dr. Morrow's day at the local hospital.
What Colin did have trouble with was figuring out what the hell he was going to say to Lani.
Or what the hell he wanted from her.
He entered the empty waiting room, figuring he'd find Lani on her hands and knees, slaving away in shapeless clothes that hardly fit her. Or maybe she'd be up on a ladder brushing away at dust bunnies, her face streaked with sweat and dirt, her hands worked red and raw.
Certainly she'd be solemn and upset over the night before.
Whatever he'd expected, it certainly wasn't to find her rosy and screaming with laughter, pointing a squirt bottle filled with water at his aunt Bessie, who was squealing in response, also wielding a water bottle like a weapon.
Behind them both, shouting like a crazed banshee, came his aunt Lola, waving yet another squirt bottle. She had a handkerchief wrapped around her head. "Duck or you die," his oldest and most dignified aunt yelled, grinning widely from ear to ear.
"What the—" he began, only to find himself the target of three wild-looking women. He registered the change in their eyes, saw the exact moment the target of their fun game switched from each other to him.
Him.
"Now wait just a minute," he said, backing up as all three women advanced on him. "Just—"
It was all he got out before Lani—not looking even close to devastated—took the lead and sprayed him full in the face.
From the couch came a strange, muffled sound. It was Carmen, working hard at reading a magazine, holding her hand over her mouth as her shoulders shook with silent laughter.
Water dripped off Colin's nose, down his ears, into his collar. Both his aunts found this absolutely hysterical. Bessie was so overcome she had to sink to one of the couches. She rolled back and forth, laughing as tears ran down her face.
Lola took one look at her and snorted in a most unladylike fashion, which sent Bessie and Lani back into fresh fits of giggles.
Colin gawked at Lani. Tears of mirth streamed down her face, along with a good amount of water—one of his aunts had obviously gotten her good. Her hair was out of control, rioting around her face, her eyes were bright, her skin positively glowing.
Nope, no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find an ounce of solemnity about her.
She squirted him again.
"What was that for?" he sputtered as he wiped cold, wet drops from his face.
"Well…" She grinned. "You looked hot." Her smile mocked him and his all-day misery.
The urge to haul her to him and kiss away all frustration came on incredibly strong, but he couldn't be sure he wouldn't strangle her. He actually reached out to grab her, but at the last minute remembered his avidly watching, meddling aunts and slammed his hands into his pockets instead.
She'd sprayed him, right in the face! He couldn't believe it, couldn't believe how shock had turned into something else, something far more base. If he didn't kiss her right here and now, he would just explode.
The primal, savage urge startled him. He'd never, ever, felt this way over a woman. Over work, yes. But never another human, and it shook him to the core.
She wore jeans today, and while they were several sizes too large for her, hiding the figure he knew could alter his blood pressure, they had holes all over, including one high on her right thigh that revealed enough skin to have him swallowing hard.
Where was his distraught, depressed fiancée?
"What are you doing here?" she asked sweetly, as if she hadn't attacked him with a squirt bottle only a second before.
"What am I doing here?" He let out a sound of amazement. "I've been going crazy looking for you. What are you doing here?"
"It's not too difficult to figure out." She smiled innocently, gesturing to her cleaning supplies, lying useless and unused on the floor. She seemed without a care in the world. As if she hadn't given him a second thought.
She probably hasn't. The thought was curiously deflating.
"I'm working," she said. "Very hard."
"Oh, yeah, I can see that."
Lani turned slightly to glance at his aunts, and when she did, Colin's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. The back of her jeans were even holier than the front There was a slice through the denim so high on her left thigh he could see a flash of hot-pink panties.
Had he really once thought this woman not sexy? How had he been so blind?
With Lani giving them some silent but meaningful looks, Bessie and Lola finally managed to control themselves and straightened.
"Better get to work," Bessie said cheerfully, nudging her sister. They beckoned Carmen, who with a sniff of disdain, took her magazine, rudely stuck her tongue out at Colin, then disappeared down the hall.
Colin's aunts then grabbed a bucket full of cleaner and sponges.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
Lola and Bessie, both old enough to be grandmothers, both world travelers and grand sophisticates of the small educated, high-brow population of Sierra Summit, grinned wildly.
"Lani's short-handed today, poor thing," Lola said. "She could never get everything done all by herself so we're staff today. I'm going to clean the bathrooms."
"And I'm on vacuuming and dusting detail," Bessie said proudly.
Colin couldn't believe it. "But neither of you have cleaned a toilet or worked a vacuum in your lives."
"Always a first time, hon." Bessie's smile turned wicked, and Colin knew enough about his aunt to know he wasn't going to like what she had to say next. "And speaking of first times," she continued sweetly, "we're really short-handed here, and on a time budget since Lani pays by the hour. I think since she's your fiancée, you should help."
"What?"
"Grab a sponge, darling," Lola said, nodding her approval. "Let's see you prove your worth to this wonderful girl here. Give her a hand."
Colin turned to stare at Lani. "Are they kidding?"
She looked at his aunts with laughter and affection in her gaze, but when she turned back to him, she said somberly, "Nope. I don't think they are." He thought about what he'd learned from her great-aunt Jennie, how hard she worked. How loyal and caring she was. How she'd lost her family so early.
How she feared storms.
He was beginning to realize the extent of La
ni's depth and inner strength, and though he admired her very much for it, a much more basic emotion pushed to the surface.
Protectiveness.
"Unless of course, Colin, you can't spare the time for her," Bessie said evenly.
Lola shifted the bucket in her arms like a pro. "Or maybe you think pushing a sponge isn't your kind of work."
He couldn't believe it. These two women supposedly loved him as if he was their own child. Why were they giving him hell?
But they were right. He'd always put work ahead of everything else, and he'd always thought himself far above cleaning.
Guilt and shame were new to him, and he didn't like either. "I'll help, dammit." He grabbed a sponge, but then Lani was there with a hand to his chest, her eyes soft and apologetic.
"They're just teasing you." She wiped a drop of water off his jaw. "I'm fine, I don't need you to stay."
"I said I'd help."
She looked into his eyes and apparently saw she couldn't convince him otherwise. "All right, then," she said quietly. "Thank you."
He unbuttoned his cuffs and shoved up his sleeves. "Where's my mother?"
"Florist shopping." Lani chewed on her lip in the gesture he now knew was a nervous habit.
"For the wedding," Lola added. "She's so excited. And the engagement party is completely under control. You two are going to love it."
It was all too much, and he could see in Lani's eyes she felt it, too. "We really don't need an engagement party," he said. "I wish you wouldn't go to the trouble."
"Of course you need one." Bessie rubbed her hands together in delight just thinking about it. "It'll be spectacular. Flowers, candles, music for dancing. So romantic."
"An engagement party," Lani whispered to herself, the sweet look of longing on her face tearing at Colin.
She wanted it to be real, with all her heart. Knowing that, he felt overwhelmed. What had he done to her? Hell, to him. For a moment he couldn't even remember why he had chased her all over town and back. He should have left it alone.
Lani was staring at him. "What did you just say?"
