by Jill Shalvis
"Nothing."
"No, you most definitely said something." She stepped closer, studying him intensely. "You said you can't remember why you were worried about me."
Great, had he really said that out loud?
"Why were you worried, Colin?"
"You're hearing things."
"I don't think so." She was right in front of him now, smelling like pine cleaner and shampoo and he wanted badly to haul her close and show her exactly what all this insanity did to him.
"You chased me all over town? Really?"
"So?"
At that statement of brilliance, Lani let out a little smile, as if she found his rare petulance very funny.
He didn't find anything even remotely humorous about it, and this time when she took another step toward him, he backed up.
This made her eyes warm, though he had no idea why, and now in addition to the humor he could see so plainly on her face, he also saw affection and more emotion than he knew what to do with. He was painfully aware of their audience when she asked him softly, kindly, "Did you need me for something?"
He stared at her. "Yeah."
"Can you tell me what?"
"Not in mixed company."
Bessie and Lola snickered in delight and left them in peace. Finally.
Silence reigned.
With both his aunts gone, Lani's bravado seemed to fade. She clasped her hands, studied her feet, then played with a spec of dust on the floor with her toe.
"Lani…" But nothing else came out. Now that he was here, with her right there within his reach, he hadn't a clue as to what to say or do.
She solved that for him. "I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out, Colin." Her voice was quiet, full of sorrow. "I know you must have loved her very much if you haven't wanted to be in another relationship since. A real one anyway."
* * *
Chapter 9
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Lani hadn't meant to just throw it out like that. She'd really intended to bring up Colin's marriage much more gently. She'd wanted him to understand that she was very sorry he'd gotten so hurt, that she understood how much he must have loved his wife.
And if irrational jealousy pounded through her, she would keep that part to herself.
But after her statement, Colin had carefully closed his mouth, grabbed a sponge and disappeared down the hallway of the medical building.
Lani had let him go. This was neither the time nor the place to hash it out, no matter how much she wanted to comfort him, wanted to encourage him to give love another shot with someone who would never hurt him, with someone who would cherish him until the end of her life.
And if she was thinking that that someone could be her, if she had conveniently forgotten she wanted no more of an emotional tangle than he did, she would live with that.
"You're an idiot," she whispered to herself, shoving her hair out of her face. In one of the private patient rooms, she swept the floor with a vengeance.
"Who told you?"
She nearly dropped her broom.
"I want to know how you know," Colin said, standing in the doorway, quietly furious.
"It doesn't matter." Her heart ached because only a deep, unrelenting pain would cause him to be so upset. She knew first-hand how much damage that kind of anguish could cause. "I'm sorry you got hurt by it, Colin. I'm sorry your heart was broken."
His jaw tightened. His eyes went hard. "I absolutely don't want to talk about it."
"But—"
"Never, Lani."
"It's not a crime to still love her."
The laugh that escaped him was short and hard. "You've got it very wrong."
"Then tell me."
"Just leave it the hell alone."
She leaned on the broom and studied him. "You could tell me about it, you know. I'd listen and maybe you'd feel better."
"I've got a better idea. Let's talk about you. About why you never tell me anything about yourself."
"You've never asked."
"Tell me about your family."
"All right. I have only my great-aunt Jennie. It's been just us for a long time."
"Does the reason for that have anything to do with your nightmares?"
She paled, felt the blood drain right out of her face. "Yes."
"It's also probably the reason you're alone now. Just like me, you're not interested in more hurt. Am I right?"
She crossed her arms, chilled. "I don't think I want to talk about it."
"Well then, we're even, aren't we?"
Damn him for turning this around. It wasn't about her, it was about him. He'd never see that, not right now. "I have work."
"Yes, well so do I." And he vanished.
He'd go back to his work, she thought wearily, and bury both himself and his anguish in it, and it would be all the harder to reach him.
She figured he'd done exactly that, so when she heard the crash from the next patient room, she assumed it was Bessie, Lola or Carmen.
She went running, imagining all sorts of things, only to skid to a halt in the doorway.
On his butt, on a very wet floor, surrounded by a spilled bucket and a mop, sat Colin.
He wore a disgusted expression. Lani covered her mouth, but a laugh escaped anyway, making his frown all the more fierce.
"I suppose you think this is funny," he growled.
"Are you all right?"
He shoved to his feet. "Physically? Fine." He patted the seat of his drenched trousers. "Though my ego just took a hell of a beating."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah? Then why are you grinning?"
Lani shook her head, but ruined it with another laugh that she quickly swallowed. "It's relief that you're okay. Honest."
"Right." He pulled at the material clinging to him.
"I thought you'd left."
"I told you I would help, dammit, and I'm going to help. I just don't want to talk while I do it."
"Then why did you come?"
"You disappeared. I was worried."
"I was working," she pointed out gently.
"I didn't know. I thought maybe you were upset or mad. Maybe you'd decided that—" Swearing, he broke off and looked away. "Never mind."
Her stomach twisted. "That I would leave? I won't, Colin. I told you that."
But she was going to have to prove it, she realized. Not only prove it, but give him the time to accept it as well. She could do that. For him, she could probably do anything.
"People don't always do what they say they're going to do," he said.
"I do." She smiled at his noncommittal grunt. "Oh, Colin. You don't have to follow me around and mop and—" she gestured with her hand to his very wet backside "—do the slip and slide just to keep me."
His eyes narrowed on her, and the laughter she'd been barely holding back escaped.
With a suddenly wicked gaze, he came slowly, purposely, toward her. "You're laughing at me, Lani. Again."
"Now, Colin—" She backed up, right into the door, which shut behind her. She held her broom between her hands like a shield. "I wasn't laughing at you … just with you."
"Uh-huh." He kept coming, this big, sleek male animal. This big, sleek, wet, annoyed male animal.
"It's that you're so cute," she said quickly. "Coming here, wanting to help me—"
He was there in a flash, moving far more quickly and gracefully than she'd expected, sandwiching her between the door and his body.
"I didn't realize how nice it would feel to have you care about me," she managed. Oh, he felt good, so very good, against her. "You gave up your own important work today to come here and fall on your butt—"
He held her head in his big, gentle hands, his body imprisoning hers. "Stop it."
"But it's such a great butt, Colin." She burst out into renewed laughter at his expression.
"Lani? Be quiet." Reaching around her, he flicked the lock on the door, and with a loud, metallic sound, it slid home.
The amusement backed up in her throat
, immediately replaced by a searing, heated excitement. "Colin…" Did he have any idea what that look on his face did to her insides? "Your aunts…"
"…will no doubt be listening so you'd better keep it quiet, hadn't you?" She was flattened to the door, between the hard wood and his even harder body. Gentle but inexorable fingers found the rip in the front of her jeans and played with the soft, giving skin on the inside of her thigh.
Her heart thundered in her chest. "I know you're upset because I probed into your personal life…"
Now his other hand slid around to the back of her, toying with the larger rip back there, stroking the flesh just beneath her panty line. "This has nothing to do with anyone else," he informed her, his fingers shifting slightly, playing with the elastic on her hot-pink panties.
Lani forced herself to remain absolutely still, when what she really wanted was to arch into his hand. "Then you're embarrassed about that little pratfall you took." She gasped as he slowly traced the line of the material. "But you don't have to be."
"This isn't about the fall either," he assured her roughly, slipping beneath the material now to cup her bare bottom in his hand. He kneaded it gently, sighing at the connection. "It's about before that. It's about last night and this morning and the fact I can't get you out of my head."
The words broke through her haze of passion, and they meant so much she could hardly speak. "Really? You think about me?"
"Yeah. Really."
"You don't like it."
"Not much," he admitted. "But that doesn't seem to stop me." Abruptly, he backed away from her. Shoving the bucket and mop aside with his foot, he grabbed her wrist and hauled her across the room, to the full-sized hospital bed that Dr. Morrow used to treat his patients. "Lani, I have to touch you."
"You were touching me."
"More then."
She couldn't breathe. "Colin, I was thinking—"
"I was, too. You should be quiet now."
She nodded. "Okay."
With a none-too-gentle push, Colin pressed her down on the mattress. The bed groaned when he followed her. Seizing the broom she still held between them, he flung it across the room.
Then his mouth took hers, hot and demanding.
The connection sizzled. Dizzy with it, Lani could only cling to him. Her heart had already been aroused, from the very moment he'd stormed into the office looking for her, so it didn't take much more than a stroke of his tongue to bring her startlingly close to completion. He tore his mouth away and stared at her. "You're driving me crazy."
"The feeling is mutual." She had gripped his shirt in fisted hands, holding him close. She couldn't bring herself to let him go. "You were going to touch me, Colin. Why aren't you?"
He settled himself between her legs, spreading them farther to accommodate his body. He rocked against her with a slow, building rhythm that had her moaning, gasping for more, a slave to the motion.
She couldn't keep a thought in her head as her body raced desperately. Colin gripped her hips in his hands, arching them up to better meet his, his erection nestling tightly to the aching flesh between her thighs, and the friction was so delicious she could hardly stand it. His mouth trailed over her jaw to her ear. The sound of his ragged, uneven breathing assured her he was every bit as wild as she. Still fully dressed, she was going to climax, with nothing more than his hips sliding against hers.
"I don't know what's happening," he whispered, bewildered. She writhed against him and he moaned. "This was supposed to be fake, dammit."
Only a few strokes away from blessed orgasm, Lani could do nothing but hang on for dear life. "Don't stop," she begged.
"Fake," he repeated hoarsely, still rocking against her in perfect harmony.
Her body tightened, she couldn't see, could only feel, she was so close. He captured her mouth again, the kiss deep and urgent and so needy Lani's entire heart melted. And just to make sure she lost the rest of her head completely, he stroked his hands over her body, molding and pressing and coaxing, then slowing to kiss her again, until she was whimpering and begging and writhing beneath him.
"Lani, let me, let me—" Rearing up, he unbuttoned her cotton work shirt, letting out a groan when he found her bare beneath it. He dipped down, nuzzling first, then taking a tight, waiting nipple into his mouth. His hands went to the buttons of her jeans and while he fumbled there, she attacked his shirt, shoving her hands beneath it.
"This is crazy," he muttered, slipping his warm, rough hands into the back of her jeans. Scooping her hips up, he thrust against her again, rubbing her with the hard ridge of his erection. He let out a dark, needy sound and dropped his forehead to hers. "I can't get enough of you, I need more…"
"More," she agreed breathlessly, nearly crying in relief when she heard the rasp of his zipper. He shoved his jeans down, freeing himself. The back of his hand grazed the part of her that was hot and wet for him. Just that light brush of his knuckles was enough to send her once again skittering to the very edge. She tossed her head back as her limbs started to shake. Heat spiraled through her and she grabbed his hand, needing just one more touch to send her over, just one more little touch…
The knock at the door had them both freezing. Hot, unseeing gazes locked on each other.
"Darling?" came Bessie's voice. "We're finished in the front room. Is Lani in there with you?"
Lani loved Bessie, really she did, but at that moment, she wanted to scream and stamp her feet. She wanted to throw a full-blooded tantrum at the fate of Bessie's bad timing.
It wasn't fair! She'd been so close, so very close, that her entire body was damp and trembling and still rocking helplessly.
Above her, a solid mass of taut, quivering sexual animal, Colin growled. His shirt was shoved open, thanks to her desperate fingers. His zipper was down, his hair wild, his eyes were beyond description. His chest was hard and slick, his belly flat and rippled with strength. Below that … oh, my. He was magnificent.
And furiously aroused.
"Hello, Colin?" Bessie called. The doorknob rattled, making Lani thankful for the lock.
Colin hadn't moved, and Lani could understand. She could hardly think. She licked her lips and cleared her throat, but still her voice sounded weak and trembly. "We're both in here, Bessie," she managed. "Fighting some nasty dirt, too." She glanced at Colin. He hadn't moved or blinked. She could feel him between her spread legs, hot and throbbing. "We'll … we need a moment," she said weakly.
"No problem," Bessie called cheerfully. "We'll wait."
She let out a choked laugh. "They'll wait," she whispered up to Colin, who shook his head and groaned.
"Great," he said through clenched teeth. For a moment, he sagged over her, bracing himself on his forearms. His eyes were already shuttered, hiding himself, so it surprised her when he leaned close and brushed his lips over hers in one quick, hot, hard kiss.
"Oh, Colin," she murmured against his mouth, holding him tight.
"I know."
"I can't stand it."
"I'm going to kill them," he assured her. "They'll wait," he repeated with disgust, pushing off her and yanking his shirt back up over his shoulders. "Damn, they've got timing."
Lani didn't respond.
Colin turned back to her and groaned. She was still sprawled on the bed, clothes awry, hair everywhere, lips wet from his mouth, looking mouthwateringly beautiful.
He struggled to close his zipper over his still raging erection.
Lani lifted an eyebrow. "Careful with that."
He laughed, then winced as he finally got his pants closed. What was it about her? She made him smile, made him laugh. When was the last time anyone had done that for him?
She also made him ache.
He went to her, gently took her hands and pulled her upright. The movement shifted her shirt open again, and her warm, full breasts spilled out. When he drew the material closed, he let his knuckles brush over her one last time.
She pressed against him. "I didn't want to s
top," she whispered, burying her face in his neck. "I was so close!"
Carefully he sucked in both his breath and the urge to haul her to him. He searched hard and deep, but from nowhere within himself could he summon up the need to flinch from her affection.
He didn't understand it. They weren't having sex and yet he still wanted to hold her. It was a very new concept for him.
And a scary one.
She hadn't moved, other than to burrow into him. "Come on," he whispered, taking her shoulders and straightening her. "We have to pull it together, Lani."
"No." She let her shirt fall open again and when his eyes crossed with lust, she hummed with satisfaction, drawing him back to her. "I don't want to pull it together, I want to come apart. With you."
His hands were full of hot, sexy, needy woman, the first woman to actually attract him in far too long. In light of that, he couldn't believe he was holding her away from him, begging her to stop. "Lani, please."
"Yoo-hoo!" Lola tapped cheerfully on the door. "Lani, honey, where's the—"
"We'll be right there!" Colin bellowed. "Hurry," he whispered, drawing Lani to her feet and yanking up her jeans. "Snap them," he urged while he attempted to tuck in her shirt.
"That's the last time I ask them for their help." Irritation swam in her voice as she finally—thankfully—fastened all her clothes, hiding that gorgeous, mind-numbing body from view.
Colin smiled, not an easy feat in his condition. "I thought you liked them."
"Well, I changed my mind!" She had turned away, but glanced at him over her shoulder, her eyes still smoldering with heat and unfed passion. "Colin?"
He ran his fingers through his hair, knowing it was hopeless. They both looked as though they'd been well loved.
Loved.
Oh, no. "Yeah?" he asked warily.
"Sometimes people make mistakes, you know? Especially in marriage and affairs of the heart."
"Lani—"
"I know you were hurt the first time around, and I'm so, so sorry. But for whatever reason, you're alone again." She touched him gently, slid her hand oven his heart. "Maybe you could give love another try sometime … you know, with the right woman."
She thought he was still pining oven his ex-wife. Nothing could be further from the truth, but how could someone like Lani understand? His wife had not only destroyed his belief in everlasting love, but she'd slept with his ex-partner as well, then had taken them both to the cleaners financially. He couldn't care less about the loss of that first fortune. Or even the marriage. But dammit, he still to this day mourned Max, with whom he'd been friends all his life.
