An Accidental Pirate, The Adventures of Captain Pigtail McQueue

by J.A. Sprouls

  Chapter 5

  As Lark ran off to ask her father, the others made it around to the side where the rope ladder would be let down. Captain Pigtail hollered, "Longitude!" as loud as he could.

  Tally's head popped up over the side and he yelled back, "Is that you, Captain?"

  "No, it's your mother. Who do you think it is that knows the password, you idiot?"

  "Well, now my mom would have called me an idiot too. So you could very well be my mom. And I'm pretty sure I don't want to deal with my mother at the moment, so I'm not gonna send the ladder down."

  Wicket had come up behind Tally and wacked him on the head. "You idiot, it's the Captain. He was being sarcastic about it being your mother. So let the ladder down."

  "Now how do you know that it isn't my mom? It could very well be," Tally said defensively.

  "Your mother doesn't sound like a man, now does she?"

  "Well, I don't know, she does get a bit of huskiness to her tone and it drops even more when she is mad." Tally explained.

  "Longitude! Now lower the stinking rope and I mean now!" Pigtail yelled.

  "Now look and see what you have done. You've gone and ticked off the captain and now he's gonna be mad at us for not lowering the ladder right away."

  "If we don't lower it then he can't do us no harm, now can he?" Tally offered.

  "Then he would find some other way up and he would keelhaul us both. And I'm not getting keelhauled over something you did." With that he grabbed the rope ladder and threw it down to the Captain. "Now, if he asks why it took so daggum long to throw it down, we'll tell him it was tangled and we had to untangle it first. Got that?" Wicket asked Tally.

  "You bet, it was tangled and we took our own sweet time to untangle it."

  "No, we did not take our sweet time to untangle it. We hurried and got it untangled just as soon as we could and then immediately threw it down to them. Here they come, now shush and let me do the talking." Wicket turned to face the Captain as he was coming over the railing. "My apologies about it taking so long but the rope had gotten tangled and we had to untangle it before we could throw it down to you."

  "How the heck did the rope get tangled?" Pigtail asked.

  Pill nudged the captain and said," It's Tally and Wicket, need you ask?"

  Pigtail leaned down to Pill and whispered, "Good point." He said more loudly to the others, "All right, we are going to have to wait for the Knarl to show up and let us know if the Wind Hag will see us, so you two keep lookout for the Knarl. And no, before you ask, he does not have a password. How many little sticks do you see talking and running around? So just let him come on board and show him to my cabin right off. Got that?"

  "Aye, aye, Captain." They said in unison.

  "Lark is going to see if she can come play on the ship so I'm gonna stay on deck and watch for her. I can't wait to learn how to play. I hear it's fun to do."

  "Well, you're right about that. I always loved to play as a kid. And I did a pretty good job of it, if I do say so myself." Tally said as he put both thumbs under his suspender straps in a proud gesture. "Now, if you needed someone to show you how to play all you had to do is ask and I would have been more than happy to show you."

  "Thanks, Tally, but I think I need to learn from a fellow kid and not from an adult. Adults have so many responsibilities, that they forget how it's done and I want to learn the right and proper way of doing it." Pill tried to tell him this in a way that wouldn't hurt his feelings.

  "I see I guess you're right. I haven't actually played in a few years, now that I think about it. So I might be a bit rusty about how it works and all. Maybe I'll watch Lark and you playing and that might bring back some memories as to how it's done. That way, when we make it back to the Gulf then I can play with you, since Lark isn't gonna be around."

  "Hey, that's good thinking, Tally. I would appreciate it. I think playing is supposed to be more fun if you have a friend to play with." That seemed to cheer Tally up. He hasn't had many friends, so it was nice to have at least one, other than Wicket.

  Lark's head came over the railing and she threw a doll over the side onto the deck. She then pulled herself over the railing and grabbed the doll and ran over to Pill. Tally and Wicket grabbed the rope ladder and pulled it up so that not just anyone could climb up to the ship.

  "Dad said I could play until it started to get dark. Then I have to get home for supper. Dad is a real stickler about me eating proper so I can grow up good and strong." Lark explained.

  "As any father worth his salt would be like." Wicket said smiling down at Lark. "We haven't been formally introduced, I'm Wicket and this is my friend Tally. We hope you enjoy your stay aboard our ship and if there is anything we can get you, just let us know." He grabbed Tally's arm and led him off towards the crow's nest. "Come on Tally," he said in a low whisper, "Let them two have some private playtime. Pill deserves to have a friend his own age."

  "What was all that stuff about if she needed anything? It sounded like you were some type of director of fun. And we all know that there is no fun on a pirate ship."

  "Well, one of these days, and I'm not saying just when, 'cause I don't know when, but one of these days, people will be getting on ships for fun and they will have someone around that makes sure they have fun while sailing. So I'm just practicing in case it happens in my lifetime," Wicket told Tally.

  Tally snorted and laughed, "Yeah, right! Like that is ever gonna happen. What? You think people will be willing to get on a ship and go to sea for fun. That's got about as much chance of happening as them putting a big old lake in the middle of the ship so people on these fun ships can take a swim in it."

  "Well, now you're just being ridiculous. Who would put water in a ship when the whole point is to keep the water out of it?" Sometimes Wicket couldn't believe just how stupid Tally could be.

  Pill and Lark went over to bow of the ship and sat down on some barrels.

  "I'm not sure exactly how you go about playing. But I'd really like it if you showed me how to do it right."

  "Playing is easy; the first thing you have to have is an imagination. You think up a story and then from there you play like the story is real and that you are a character in the story. We can play like we're traveling on a great voyage. You can be the captain of the ship and me and my doll, Betsy, are passengers. But we are being chased by pirates. So you play like you're the captain and do captain's things and we will play like we are scared of the pirates who are chasing us," Lark said.

  "Um, could we do something other than pirates? You see," Pill was a bit embarrassed about it and so she had turned a light peach color in her cheeks. "We're actually pirates, Wicket, Tally and the Captain, all of us. And I would kinda like to pretend we were something other than what we really are. You know, do something different for a change."

  "You're really pirates? That is so neat! Have you got any treasure? Did you ever invade or capture other ships?" Lark seemed genuinely interested in Pill's real life.

  "I didn't, I'm just a cabin boy. But the others have done that. Well, not so much Captain Pigtail. He was only made captain after the other captain was washed overboard during the storm. He was the ship's cook before that. Wicket and Tally sorta took part in capturing other ships. Mainly they were told their job was to stay outta the way and so they did that. They went down below and tied themselves to some posts. Just to be sure they didn't get a hankering to go out and try and fight like the others."

  "That sounds really exciting. It beats a wagon train any old day. Of course, we get the occasional Indian coming after us. But I can't say that I blame them. This is all their land. Or at least it has been in their mind. After all, they have lived here and taken care of it for a lot of years. But Dad says this is God's land and we, as people, are simply using it for a short time and so it doesn't belong to any human being. That's why he's so strong willed about taking care of the land. He thinks you should leave it like you found it. Unless you're a farmer, then you're using
the land as God intended to help feed and care for his people."

  "Being chased by Indians sounds pretty exciting. I'm sure I would be scared to death if I found myself being chased by them."

  "Yeah, I suppose so, but it does get kinda boring after a while. What's really funny is you get these city folks coming out West to try and make a new life. Not one has had to kill and pluck a chicken before. Or cook on a campfire or take care of horses. They do some of the goofiest things. One woman was just so embarrassed that her horses were pooping as they went along that she made diapers for the horses. I bet the Indians were laughing their heads off at her. I know Dad and I were."

  "Diapers? Jeesh, even I know that would be stupid to do, if for no other reason than the horse is liable to kick you when you were putting them on." Pill laughed.

  "Why don't we play something that has nothing to do with pirates and wagon trains?" Lark offered.

  "Okay, but what could that be?" Pill asked.

  "I'm not rightly sure; I've never really played many things. I've played house but you need a boy to be the father and you're not a boy." Lark said matter of factly.

  Pill looked shocked and stammered, "What makes you think that?"

  "Oh, come on, really, you're so obviously a girl, you don't look or act like a boy at all. Basically, you're not trying to prove how brave and strong you are. Boys have a tendency to do that. They think that's what makes them all grownup. But you're not like that at all."

  "I had to cut my hair and play like I was a boy. They don't let girls go on pirate boats, with good reason. After my mom died I decided to try and find my dad. Since the one thing I knew about him was that he was a pirate I decided if I joined a pirate's ship then I just might run into him at some point. So I had to pretend I'm a boy." Pill sat there for a moment and finally said to Lark, "You're not gonna tell them that I'm girl, are you? I mean, if the Wind Hag helps us get back to the Gulf then I don't need them knowing I'm a girl. That way I can keep the job and keep looking for my dad."

  "Don't worry about me. I won't tell anyone anything, I promise. In fact, if you want to be blood sisters then there would be no way I could tell on you without dying a painful death."

  "What's 'blood sisters?' And is it gonna hurt any?"

  "Naw, we could cut ourselves and make a deep gash to get the blood to come out. But I discovered it's best not to have a big open wound out in these parts, seeing as to how there isn't any doctor around to take care of you. So we can just prick our fingers and get a little blood to come out. Then we smear it on our palms and shake hands and then spit on the ground. Then we solemnly swear to be blood sisters to the very end and then that's it."

  "That doesn't sound too bad. Let's do it." So Lark got the safety pin holding her dolls dress on and they both poked their fingers, shook hands and spit. They were now blood sisters to the very end.

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