by K E Osborn
“What’s your name, love?” Johnno asks.
“Ella.”
“And you?”
“Danger.”
Johnno smirks and nods. “Right, nice name, won’t ask,” he says and then calls out to Tanya again really loudly this time. He walks over to a cupboard and pulls out what looks like a beer bottle with a teat on it like a baby bottle. I furrow my brows and chuckle at all this weirdness when I hear booming thunder behind me.
“Oh, here she comes. Come on Tanya, we’re waiting for you girl,” he calls out. I turn around to see a massive kangaroo jumping toward me. I freeze to the spot wondering if she’s going to actually jump on me or something.
“Danger, you might want to get a camera out if you have one mate,” Johnno says. Danger smirks and pulls his phone from his pocket as Tanya jumps up to Johnno and greets him like she’s madly in love with him. It’s brilliant.
“Right, Ella, love, hands out like you’re going to hold a baby,” he says and I furrow my brows and place my hands out. Johnno then picks up this kangaroo and places her in my arms like a baby.
“Oh my God,” I say as she’s so heavy. Luckily I’m sitting down and I can rest her on my knees. Danger cracks up laughing and starts taking photos.
“Right, give me your hand,” Johnno says.
I bring my hand up and he gives me the beer bottle, then Tanya starts to drink from it and I’m actually holding a kangaroo and feeding her like a baby. This is ridiculous, but so amazing and hysterically funny all at the same time.
“Oh my God, Ella, you should see your face!” Danger says as he continues to take photo after photo with his phone.
“This is crazy. Johnno, you’re crazy. Kangaroos don’t do this, do they? Is she real?” I ask as I pat her soft fur.
“Yeah mate, she’s real. She was hand raised, so she’s used to human contact. She loves it and would do anything for her bottle,” he says and comes over patting Tanya on her stomach.
This is unbelievable, I’m so excited right now.
“Danger, come pat her,” I say and he smiles and looks to Johnno for permission.
“Yeah, go on mate, she won’t hurt you,” he tells Danger, so he walks across and pats Tanya’s belly as she looks like she’s going into a drinking coma from her milk.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” I whisper.
“My pleasure, sugar.”
“Right, let’s move along,” Johnno says, but everything in me wants to stay with Tanya. Then I think there must be more to see because so far it’s been amazing. Johnno comes over and takes the bottle away and grabs Tanya. He places her on the ground gently and then she bounces away happy to have had her feed for the morning.
“Next stop, Emuville,” Johnno says.
I smile as Danger grimaces and grabs my hand tightly. I look at him as we follow Johnno through to the next paddock. “You okay?” I ask and he nods.
“Yeah, just those emu things are kinda freaky, don’t you think? They look prehistoric, and dinosaurs are kinda, well, evil right?”
“Danger, are you scared of the emu’s?”
“What, no, just…cautious of them that’s all,” he replies.
We walk into a fenced-off area where there are heaps of Emus. Danger tenses up which, in turn, makes me a little tense. The birds are big and majestic looking, but I must admit their feet look like they could cause some serious damage and their beaks look like they could definitely hurt if they pecked at you. So now I’m feeling a little on edge too.
“Oh, don’t worry love birds. These guys won’t hurt you, not at all,” Johnno says. “Here, have some food and feed them, they’ll love you forever.” He hands us each a bucket full of seed and the emus flock to us. Then they start to frantically take the seed from the buckets. It’s like a feeding frenzy. I start to laugh as I’m having trouble holding the bucket and Danger is looking more and more terrified by the second. He throws his bucket and stands to the side, which makes me laugh. I watch him as he slowly backs away from all the emus.
“Danger they’re not that bad,” I call out and he shakes his head.
“They’re savages!” he yells and I laugh as they keep attacking the food bucket.
Johnno comes over and takes the bucket away from me, and saves me from having my arms ripped off by the force of the birds trying to take the bucket away from me. I’m thankful for that, but it was fun.
“I want to conduct a little experiment. Danger, you happy to be my test subject?” Johnno asks and Danger looks at me with an expression I can’t read.
“Yeah, okay, what do I have to do?” he asks.
Johnno grabs Danger and pulls him away from me and stands him up against a tall iron fence as the emus walk all around us.
“Just stand at the fence, I want to see what the emus do when I do this,” he says and then grabs some of the seed and places it on Danger’s head. Danger frowns and nods like he knows he’s the butt of the joke and goes to wipe the seed off when two emus from the other side of the fence reach over the top and start pecking at his head to get the seed. I laugh so hard as Danger screams like a little girl. We were concentrating so hard on the emus around us in this yard we had no idea they were also in the next one. Danger is jumping around trying to get the seed off of his head and cursing at the same time. I can’t stop laughing at the scream he let out at the Emu’s pecking at his head. Johnno is laughing too, and I actually have tears streaming from my eyes.
“Thanks for the support, Ella, those birds are terrorists!” he says swiping his head and shaking his body like he’s disgusted. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his neck as he frowns and pouts like a girl.
“That was not fun,” he sulks.
“That was so much fun,” I say. “And I have it all here recorded on my phone for you to watch later.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” he says wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I really am. This is amazing.” He leans in kissing me strongly.
“Okay guys, let’s go hold a koala, shall we?” Johnno asks breaking our kiss.
I jump up and down on the spot. “Oh my God, yes!” I reply and Danger takes my hand again and we race off after Johnno and continue our tour.
After we finished up the most fun I’ve had in a long time at Emu Estate, Danger took me for lunch at a wine centre. We polished off a really nice bottle of wine and ate some fantastic food. This date couldn’t be any better. He has outdone himself so far. After lunch, we drove down to a beach. To get there, we had to walk through some rocks which the locals told us are haunted. Danger was quite excited about that, but we didn’t see any ghostly apparitions as we squeezed through the rocks to get to the beach.
When we arrived at the location, it was full of pebbles which were quite rough and jagged, with mountainous boulders scattered around. But once we walked through the craggy cliffs and got through to the other side, the beach was pristine and secluded, surrounded by rugged cliffs. The sand was pure white and there was not a blemish anywhere and deep blue water was crystal clear.
“Oh, wow! Danger, this place is breathtaking,” I say as we glance upon the beach in all its immaculate beauty.
“I know. I heard it was awesome, but I thought when I saw the beach on the other side of the rocks, I never imagined it could look this flawless on this side. Even I’m awestruck,” he says. I walk to the left and see a little section of rock pools with tiny fish and starfish.
“Danger, look,” I say as he looks down and we both smile and shake our heads at the clarity of the luminous, sparkling water. It truly is marvelous. No wonder people say this place is a little piece of paradise.
“C’mon, let’s go and sit down for a while,” he says. I smile as Mike and the chauffeur walks off in the other direction leaving Danger and me to simply be with each other. We slip off our shoes and walk hand-in-hand along the white sand until we find a nice spot to sit down. The day has faded quickly because we spent so long at Emu Estate, and now
the sun is setting. We won’t be able to stay here for too long because the tide is coming in, but Danger places his arm around my shoulders and I wrap my arm around his waist and cuddle into him. I place my legs over his and cuddle into him completely. There’s a chill in the air, and being close to him is just what I need. He’s proving to me today, that without a shadow of a doubt, he’s trying to be different for me.
“So, have you enjoyed your day, sugar?” he asks breaking the silence of the peaceful moment.
“Oh, so much. You have no idea how perfect today has been for me, Danger,” I say and look up at him.
“You know I want to be better for you, right?” I nod and smile. “I’m trying, and I think I need to tell you a little more about myself so you know I’m really trying.”
I sit up straighter because this is what I’ve been waiting for. I want Danger to open up and talk to me more about himself, but after the way he treated me when I asked about his name I’ve never tried again.
“I’d love to know whatever you’re willing to tell me,” I say.
“Okay, well here goes. My parents, they’re not your typical type of people. They’re very out there, flamboyant. They laugh at everything and think the world and everything in it is a joke. They look at themselves as hippies and they think everything should make people laugh.”
I furrow my brows wondering what’s so bad about that.
“So, you see when I was born they thought it was hilarious that I was delivered on April first, on April Fools’ Day. So every year my birthday is a joke to them,” he says and I bite my lip and nod.
“I can see how that would suck.”
He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “That’s not the worst part, though, sugar,” he says and runs his hand through his hair. “They thought it would be funny to name me Dwayne.”
“Well, what’s wrong with Dwayne? That’s a nice name, thank you for finally telling me your name by the way that means a lot to me.”
“I know, but wait till you hear the rest. My last name is Pipe,” he says and it takes a second before it clicks.
“Dwayne Pipe – like as in drain pipe?” I say trying to hide my smirk. I’m not sure if he's serious or not, and I can’t hold back my laugh.
He rolls his eyes and nods. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he says.
Immediately I stop laughing when I look at him and see he’s completely serious.
“Wait! You’re being serious right now, aren’t you?” I ask and he nods. “Oh, wow! Danger, I’m so sorry for laughing.” I bite my bottom lip and furrow my brows feeling like a complete bitch.
“It’s okay, don’t worry. That’s the kind of reaction I’ve had all my life,” he says holding onto me a little tighter.
“No wonder you gave yourself a nickname. I can see why you didn’t want people knowing the truth, and I can see now why you were so funny about telling me.”
I get it, being named something like that is terribly embarrassing. His parents are nothing more than jerks.
“Yeah, the nickname just kinda stuck. I was teased so much as a kid, so that’s why I just called myself Danger. No one knows my real name, well apart from you.”
“How did you come up with Danger?”
He lets out a small chuckle like he’s fond of the memory and it makes me smile. “While my parents were off partying and being stoners, me and my sister would watch cartoons to pass the time. My sister’s favourite was Danger Mouse. She would call me Danger and I’d call her Mouse. It kinda just stuck from then on. I still call her Mouse even now, but her real name is Copper. Yeah, my parents weren’t kind to her either,” he says as I say it out loud to myself.
“Copper Pipe. Oh geez,” I say and Danger nods.
“Yeah, like I said my parents are assholes. Dad’s a plumber and was obsessed with naming us after his trade, seeing as we had Pipe as our last name. They think it’s hilarious, me and Mouse however, had to cop the full brunt of the pain and torture from the other kids for their so-called joke. Mouse’s treatment was appalling, because her name was Copper and she has red hair too. So it became exceptionally bad for her at school, but she’s tough. It’s a miracle she’s even slightly sane, but she has a boyfriend now and is really happy. She says he’s a really nice guy, a bit of a nerd and nothing like our parents.”
I smile because this is the most open Danger has ever been about his family, and I can see that he actually cares about his sister.
“It looks like you have a good bond with Mouse then?” I ask.
“Yeah, she’s a great sister, even though she is slightly self-centred. You’d get along well with her well, I think.”
I smile at the thought that maybe one day I might get to meet her.
“Your parents don’t sound like they really thought about your feelings, or how it would affect your lives. Let’s face it kids can be cruel and that must’ve been hard on your both.”
“Yeah, like I said, they are assholes. Even now, they still see the funny side of our names, and they don’t regard all the pain and suffering we went through as kids other than anything but spirit building. They said it made us tougher and stronger. When I really I think about it, I know it just fucked us up mentally. I mean look at me, I’m one big fuck-up really.”
I furrow my brows and frown. “Why would you say that?” I ask and look into his eyes.
He sniffs and looks away from me. “Because Ella, I don’t treat women well. I’m cocky. I’m arrogant. I don’t have good people skills because people have treated me like shit my entire life, so I treat them like shit regardless. It’s a cycle, and the only person who’s given me a chance is you, and I still can’t treat you right.”
“Is that what you think? Just because you’re a little different that you don’t treat me well?” I ask, grabbing his chin with my fingers and forcing him to look at me. He hesitates, but eventually his eyes meet mine and they are full of confusion and hurt. I can see how much pain he’s in and how much damage his past has caused him.
“I’m no good for you, sugar,” he says and I purse my lips and frown.
“Danger, no one has ever taken me to an island and shown me the type of kindness and devotion you have today. You may not think you’re a good person, but underneath the scars, the hurt, the pain and the bravado, is a man trying to be a good guy. And today Danger, that guy is shining through brighter than any person I’ve ever seen before. You are a good guy, Danger. You just have to believe in yourself. Today has been incredible and you planned all this yourself. You’re the only reason I’m sitting on this totally stunning beach, in the arms of a remarkable man, watching the sun go down on one of the best days I’ve ever had in my entire life. And I’m the daughter of a rock star, who is a rock star herself, I’ve lived a privileged life. So saying that this is one of—if not the best day of my life—is massive Danger, and that’s all on you.”
“The best day of your life?”
I lean over so I’m straddling him and take his face in my hands and his hands make their way to my hips.
“Yes, Danger, the best day of my life and it was with you.”
He smiles so brightly, his eyes glimmer as I lean in and press my lips to his. He chuckles against my mouth and moves his hands from my hips up my back, forcing my body against his. We kiss passionately, and my tongue dances with his letting all of the emotion I feel for him and all of the excitement from today escape into our lust fueled embrace. My hands run through his hair and I pull back spotting some left over bird seed from Emu Estate. I can’t help but laugh as Danger looks at me wondering why I broke the kiss.
“What’s so funny?” he asks raising an eyebrow. I pick the seed from his hair and bring it down for him to see. He smirks and shakes his head running his fingers through his hair.
“Damn seed, and damn those prehistoric birds, those things were terrifying,” he says making me giggle again. As I look at the light-hearted Danger in front of me, I realise my feelings for him are running deep. He’s gettin
g to me, and I just hope he’s feeling the same deep emotions I am.
“I’m sorry for interrupting Miss Ella, but we should be going,” Mike says appearing out of nowhere.
I look up at him and nod. “Thanks, Mike,” I say and look back down at Danger, who’s looking at me and smiling.
“Thanks for today,” I say and he moves his hand to my cheek and caresses it tenderly.
“No, thank you. I’ve never had any semblance of normal in my life, and today I got that with you. Even though I’m trying to be better for you Ella, you make things better for me too,” he says and leans in and gently kisses my lips. I kiss him back and he slowly pulls away and then exhales looking in my eyes. I search his dark blue eyes and I see a spark in them. A sparkle that intensifies with every second I stare into them. He feels it too, I know he does. This isn’t one-sided, things with us are intense and I know that it’s going to be so difficult when this tour ends and he goes back to America and I go back to England. I have no idea what’s in store for us.
He pulls back and exhales. “We better go before Mike has a hissy fit,” Danger says and I laugh.
“Mike having a hissy fit? He’s so cool and calm, I can’t even picture it.”
“Yeah, me either actually. But we better go, don’t want to miss the ferry back to the mainland,” he says while lifting me off him. I stand and he gets up dusting the sand from his arse. I grab his hand and look at him. He smirks and looks at me sideways.
“It’s rude to stare, you know?”
“I know, sorry, it’s just you’ve never opened up before. I’m kinda in awe of you right now. I’m so honoured that you felt relaxed enough in my company to tell me all this stuff. Thank you, I really appreciate it.”
“It’s okay, you deserve to know, but if you tell anyone my real name I will throw tomatoes at you on stage,” he says making me laugh out loud.
“I promise your secret is safe with me. I do have one more question though?” I ask and he raises his eyebrow.
