“They didn’t let me. I did what I wanted.”
“Is there a difference?”
“I think you should spend more time with my mother,” I announced, switching tactics. “The older you get the more you remind me of her.”
“That is a horrible thing to say,” Carly snapped. “We used to make fun of her behind her back when we were in college.”
“And I stand by my statement.”
“You suck sometimes,” Carly complained, moving away from me. “Where are the funnel cakes?”
“Screw the funnel cakes,” Lexie interjected. “Where are the hot movie stars?”
“The movie stars are in the back room,” I replied. “They only allow so many people back there at a time. They want to make sure no one gets drunk or lit and licks a celebrity.”
“What celebrities are here?” Carly asked. “Ooh … is George Clooney here? I would totally lick him … or at least delay eating my funnel cake to spend five minutes talking with him.”
“No, George Clooney isn’t here,” I said, tugging on my limited patience. “It’s mostly stars from Star Trek, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Buffy the Vampire Slayer … you know, stuff like that.”
“I don’t know anyone who was on those shows,” Carly complained.
“You like Andrew Lincoln,” I argued. “He’s on The Walking Dead, but he was also in Love Actually.”
“Oh, yay!” Carly clapped her hands. “Where is he?”
“He’s not here.”
“Now you’re just messing with me,” Carly complained. “I want to see a star.”
“There’s a guy from Dr. Who.” I pointed.
“I want to see a star I recognize,” Carly clarified.
I had no idea who fit that bill. “We’ll find someone,” I said. “Let’s get you that funnel cake first. I’m worried you’re going to Hulk out and rip someone’s head off if we don’t sugar you up quick.”
“That sounds like a plan,” Carly said, happily falling into step next to me as I led her toward the food booths. “Ooh. What is that?”
I followed her finger and scowled. “That’s the Twilight exhibit. We’re not going over there.”
“Are any of the Twilight stars here?”
“Just some guy who played wolf number three or something.”
“Oh, well, that’s disappointing,” Carly said.
“No, what’s disappointing is I’ve never been able to force you to watch Star Wars yet you willingly watch Twilight. That’s an embarrassment I’ll never recover from.”
“You’re wearing a shirt that says ‘Talk Wookie to Me,’” Carly pointed out.
“So?”
“If anyone should be embarrassed, it’s me.”
“Do you want to fight? I’ll hit you even though you’re pregnant,” I threatened.
“Okay, let’s not do that,” Lexie said, pushing between us. “No one wants to see a pregnant woman get hit.”
“Speak for yourself.” A guy dressed as Ironman, tilted his head in our direction. “I’d love to see someone hit a pregnant chick.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Well, I think you’re going to be disappointed.”
“Bummer.”
I made a face and gave Ironman a wide berth, not stopping until I found a booth that sold funnel cakes. Carly was excited when she saw the workers making one and she gleefully skipped toward the window.
“Wow,” I muttered. “Her hormones are swinging wildly these days, huh?”
Lexie raised her eyebrows. “What’s your excuse?”
“What?”
“You’re all over the place and you don’t have hormones to use as an excuse,” she said. “By the way, your best friend is pregnant and you’ve spent the entire week falling over yourself to hang out with science fiction nerds. You should show her with a bit of attention.”
Did my formerly addicted cousin just call out my behavior? “Hey, it’s been a busy week. I’m sorry I can’t be there for her every complaint and whim.”
“You don’t have to be there for her every complaint and whim,” Lexie said. “You merely have to be there when she’s feeling tired and upset.”
“And when is that?”
“Every single day,” Lexie replied, not missing a beat. “She’s carrying a baby. She’s actually creating human life. Do you know how terrifying that is? Of course you don’t. You’re a big baby yourself. It might behoove you to spend some time doting on her instead of expecting her to drop everything for you.”
Was she right? Was I being selfish? Oh, who needs that? I was almost killed by Jason Voorhees. I have my own set of troubles. “I’ll consider it.”
“Do that.” Lexie crossed her arms over her chest. “Is Eliot here today?”
“He’s running the camera security.”
“Hopefully we’ll run into him.”
I was actually hoping for the opposite, but I didn’t want to tell her that. “Yeah. That would be great.”
We lapsed into silence and it was anything but comfortable. Finally, I couldn’t take the tension any longer.
“Since when do you use words like ‘behoove’?”
“Since I’ve been reading a lot of books and trying to better myself,” Lexie replied. “You should try it some time.”
That did it. “Why are you riding me?”
“I’m not riding you, Avery,” Lexie replied. “I think you’re a good person and you do the best you can. I also think you have tunnel vision. Carly has been in my shop four days in a row just hoping to run into you. That’s on you.”
“She could’ve called me.”
“She didn’t want to bother you because she knows this comic book stuff is your version of Heaven,” Lexie explained. “You should’ve paid attention to what was happening. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you do these things on purpose. I also think you’re dealing with a lot of your own stuff. Carly would make a good sounding board for that.
“The trick is, you have to listen to her problems, too,” she continued. “That’s how a friendship works. It’s not all about you.”
“I don’t make it all about me.”
“You have for the past two weeks,” Lexie said. “I know your life is shifting and it’s making you freak out a little bit, but you’re not the only person in the world. You have to remember that even when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Other people have problems, too.”
“Since when did you turn into a fortune cookie?”
“I’m not telling you how to live your life,” Lexie said. “I’m just telling you that the way you’ve been treating Carly is unacceptable. I think the real problem is that you already know that.”
Deep down I feared she was right. “I’ll fix it.”
“You do that,” Lexie said, smirking. “I can’t wait to watch you do it.”
“SO … UM … I’m here for you.”
Carly, a hunk of funnel cake in her hand as she munched and dropped crumbs on the front of her shirt, widened her eyes as she stared at me. “What?”
She asked the question with a mouthful of partially-chewed food on display, but I did my best to ignore it. I exchanged a quick glance with Lexie before tugging my shirt down. “I’m here for you.”
“Yeah, I heard you the first time,” Carly said. “Why are you saying that?”
I rubbed the palm of my hand against my cheek and shrugged. “It’s come to my attention that I haven’t been a very good friend and I’ve been neglecting you. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”
“Okay.” Carly looked confused. “Who told you I feel neglected?”
I jerked my thumb in Lexie’s direction. “She did … and she was mean when she said it.”
Carly snorted, taking me completely by surprise. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t feel particularly neglected. I knew I wasn’t going to see you this week. This is Halloween, Christmas and Valentine’s Day all rolled into one for you. I don’t feel neglected.”
I pursed my lips as I cast a sidelong l
ook in Lexie’s direction. She was suddenly infatuated with the lights on the Battlestar Galactica display. “But … .”
“She was only messing with you,” Carly said. “We had a bet that you wouldn’t know how long we went without talking, and I said you wouldn’t even realize it was days, and she said you would realize it and I wasn’t giving you enough credit. She manipulated you to make sure things fell in her direction. I’m not paying off on that bet, by the way. You’ll have to come up with twenty bucks somewhere else.”
I swiveled and extended a finger in Lexie’s direction. “You guilted me.”
“I learned from the best,” Lexie said. “Honestly, I can’t believe you fell for it. I didn’t expect that at all. You’re getting soft in your old age.”
“I’m going to wipe the floor with you later,” I warned. “If I didn’t think we would get kicked out for fighting, I would take you out right now.”
Lexie didn’t look worried in the least. “Bring it on.”
“Oh, I’m going to bring it on,” I muttered, rolling my neck until it cracked. “I cannot believe you did that to me. I’ve already had a bad twenty-four hours. Getting off on my distress is just … totally mean. It’s like you’re purposely hurting my feelings in an effort to make me feel bad … or maybe even cry.”
“I’m sorry,” Lexie said, her face going pale. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“And that’s why you’re not ready to play with the big dogs,” I said, smirking. “Never give up the power position when you have it. You had it. I just took it. Bite me.”
“You really are an awful person,” Lexie said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I meant what I said, though. You need to spend more time worrying about Carly and her delicate condition than yourself.”
I turned my eyes to my best friend, who had powdered sugar on her face and an empty plate. She didn’t exactly look delicate. “Did you eat that entire thing?”
“The baby was hungry.”
“The baby is the size of caterpillar,” I said. “You just ate enough to crush the caterpillar.”
“Don’t give me crap,” Carly snapped. “I’m trying to eat healthy but the baby wants sugar. What am I supposed to do?”
“Eat the sugar in moderation,” I replied. “There’s no reason to eat an entire funnel cake. Share it next time. That way you won’t feel guilty.”
Carly made a face. “I don’t feel guilty. I’m growing a life. You told us on the way over that Eliot fed you two ice cream cones the day you got attacked. Do you feel guilty about that?”
“I bled all over the pavement,” I pointed out. “I needed the calories to sustain myself.”
“You had a scrape on your knee,” Carly countered. “It’s not as if you got shot and almost bled out.”
“You don’t know,” I challenged. “It was a very upsetting incident. Duncan was covered in goo … and he wouldn’t stop screaming … and I could’ve died.”
“Unless it was all a prank and you overreacted.”
The more she said things like that, the more I began to wonder if it was true. “It wasn’t a prank. It was real.”
“If that’s what you need to tell yourself,” Carly said. “Do you want to know what I think?”
“Not particularly.”
“I think you’re looking for attention because it distracts you from thinking about finding a house,” Carly volunteered. “I think it makes things easier for you because a manufactured problem is better than a real one.”
“Oh, yeah? Do you want to know what I think?”
“Nope.”
“I think … .” I didn’t get a chance to finish because someone barreled into Carly from behind, shoving her in my direction. Because she’s so small – she barely weighed a hundred pounds before she got pregnant and she didn’t weigh much more than that now – she flew through the air like a rag doll.
I instinctively reached out and caught her, groaning when my wounded knee absorbed the bulk of the added weight, most of which came from her heavy purse as it whacked my hip. Carly’s eyes were wide and full of confusion when we collided. I made sure she was on her feet before taking on the person who pushed her. It was only when I smoothed my shirt and opened my mouth to let loose with a righteous diatribe that I realized I was dealing with another freak in a mask … and this one had a knife, too.
“What the hell?”
The visitor brandished the knife and took a step in my direction, forcing me to do the only thing I could think to do. “This is going to hurt you worse than me,” I said, grabbing Carly’s heavy purse and swinging it in the direction of the man’s groin. “If this is a mistake, I apologize ahead of time.”
The man’s eyes widened when he realized what I was doing, but it was already too late. He tried to shield his tender area but the purse made contact with his family jewels with a terrific thump. He dropped like a rock and began howling as he held his nuts and writhed on the floor.
“Omigod! I’ve been attacked! Avenge me!”
“What the … ?”
“Uh-oh,” Carly said, glancing over her shoulder and focusing on three men wearing identical masks. “I think we’re in trouble.”
I recognized the masks from Game of Thrones, and while I wasn’t caught up on episodes I knew it was a bad sign. No one ever survives on Game of Thrones. I was pretty sure she was right about being in trouble.
22
Twenty-Two
Most people would wring their hands or call for help. I am not most people. I don’t need help. I have my mouth. When I make things worse, that’s when I need help.
“Oh, you are dressed like the Sons of the Harpy guys from Game of Thrones, huh? Things didn’t end well for them, and if you take a step in this direction, they won’t end well for you either.”
“Avery, you’re making things worse,” Carly hissed. “We should run. Talking will get us in trouble.”
That shows what she knows. Talking gets me in trouble only seventy-five percent of the time. I’m golden the other twenty-five percent. I can live with that ratio.
Despite the warning, one of the masked figures took an exaggerated step forward. I couldn’t accept the action without addressing it, so I grabbed a funnel cake off a woman’s plate as she passed by and whipped it as hard as I could in the man’s direction, pursing my lips when it bounced harmlessly off his black robe and hit the floor.
“Hey!” The woman was understandably annoyed. “That was mine.”
“They’re good, too,” Carly said. “I just ate one. It was amazing.”
“You inhaled one,” I corrected. “There’s a difference.”
“I’m growing a human life!” Carly snapped. “You try growing a human life and then you can comment. Until then … stuff it!”
“Yeah, Avery, you definitely need to stuff it,” Lexie said, although I didn’t miss the fact that she clenched and unclenched her hands at her sides. In a fight, there’s no one I’d rather have at my side than my cousin. She’s tiny but tough … and she has no qualms about fighting dirty. I’d rather have a dirty fighter who wins than an honorable one who loses.
“I’ve fallen,” the masked man on the floor whined. “Avenge me!”
Good grief. People say I’m a geek. Sure, there’s been a Star Wars fantasy run amok or two – mostly because I want to be Han Solo and Eliot refuses to be Princess Leia – but this was an entirely new level of geeky.
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” I said. “Get up. I barely hit you.”
“With a brick!”
“It wasn’t a brick,” I argued, casting a curious look at Carly. “What’s in there, though? It weighs a ton.”
“Um … just my prenatal vitamins, wallet, a hair brush, hair spray, makeup, my phone, my Kindle, nail polish and a container of Tums.” Carly looked worried about getting in a fight. I didn’t blame her. She had a bundle of joy to protect. Bundle of joy? Seriously, who came up with that saying? It’s more like a wailing poop factory.
“Oh, just that,” I said, fighting the urge to grin as I narrowed my eyes at the man I threw the funnel cake at. “Don’t take another step in this direction. You won’t like what happens if you do.”
“You’re out of cakes,” Lexie pointed out. “What are you going to throw this time? I don’t think the insults are helping.”
She had a point, but I wasn’t in the mood to acknowledge it. “I’ll throw you if you’re not careful. Seriously, dude, don’t even think about stepping closer.”
We’d drawn something of a crowd, convention guests forming a half-circle to watch the show. I had no idea if they realized this was a serious matter or if they figured we were following a script. I didn’t really care, though.
“If you do it, you’ll regret it,” I said.
The man behind the mask locked gazes with me and then defiantly took another step forward. I readied myself to smack him … or kick him … or scream bloody murder – I couldn’t make up my mind which was the best way to go – when a hand landed on the man’s shoulder and caused him to shift to his right.
Eliot, a dark look on his face, shook his head when the man moved to raise a fist. “She already warned you what will happen if you pick a fight.”
“Who are you?” The man’s voice was muffled behind the mask.
“I’m with the security detail,” Eliot replied grimly.
“He’s also my boyfriend, which means he’s my muscle,” I added, earning an incredulous look from Eliot. “What? Is that no longer the case?”
“You’re in so much trouble I don’t even know where to start,” Eliot muttered, annoyed. “I just … how is yoga?”
Crap. I should’ve thought this through better. Causing a scene was a surefire way to get Eliot’s attention, and like a naughty child, I couldn’t stop myself from enjoying that attention – even when it was negative. “I can explain.”
“I can’t wait to hear it,” Eliot said, set his jaw as his gaze bounced between faces. “I need the short version of what happened here.”
“Well, we were at the yoga studio … .”
“Not you,” Eliot said, shaking his head. “You won’t give me the short version of anything. You’ll ramble until I forget what I asked. You try to confuse me to get out of trouble. I’m on to you.”
Bylines & Skylines (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 9) Page 19
