“But … .”
Eliot sent me a firm headshake. “No. Lexie, you give me the short version.”
“Carly wanted a funnel cake. The guy on the floor ran into her and was kind of aggressive. He threw her at Avery. Avery caught her and then whacked him in the nuts with Carly’s purse. Then his friends stepped in and Avery said she knew what she was doing.”
“Well, that’s pretty much what I figured,” Eliot muttered, releasing his hold on the shaking man. “Who threw food at this guy?”
“One guess,” Lexie replied.
“You’re in a lot of trouble, Avery,” Eliot snapped. “I mean … a lot.”
“It wasn’t even her funnel cake.” I forgot the woman I stole the cake from remained to watch the rest of the show. She looked haughty. “She owes me five bucks for that cake.”
Eliot wordlessly dug into his wallet and retrieved five dollars before handing it to the woman. She preened as she took it, offering him a flirty smile – which he ignored – and then she flounced back to the cake line. Eliot’s eyes never left mine.
“This is all a big misunderstanding,” I offered. “I’m the victim here.”
Eliot remained silent.
“Carly is pregnant and I had to protect her,” I said, switching tactics. “I was doing something honorable.”
I couldn’t be sure, but I was almost convinced Eliot’s expression softened. Finally, he blew out a sigh and bent over, resting his hands on his knees as he regarded the angry masked man on the floor. “You’re coming with me to the security office so we can sort this out.”
The man was defiant. “And what if I say no?”
“Then I’m going to leave you to deal with that on your own,” Eliot replied, pointing a finger at me. “Trust me. You won’t come out alive.”
Oh, even when he’s mad he still pays me compliments.
“Fine,” the man said, exhaling heavily. “If she hits me again, though, I’m hitting her back.”
Eliot would never let that stand. I was smug when I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to verbally smack down the Game of Thrones megalomaniac.
“Fair enough,” Eliot said.
“Hey!” That was so not how I envisioned this going. “He just threatened me.”
Eliot’s face remained calm. “Something tells me you deserve it.”
Something told me the upcoming meeting of the minds wasn’t going to go my way. When did my happy week turn into this?
“COME HERE.”
Eliot took me by surprise when he grabbed me around the waist in the security office a few minutes later and lifted me up on the counter. He kept one eye on the sulking man – who refused to remove his mask – and pointed toward the corner when directing Lexie and Carly to get comfortable.
“What are you doing?” I asked, confused. “Are you putting me in timeout?”
This time I was certain I saw a smile flicker at the corner of his mouth. He didn’t let a complete smile come out to play, though. “No. I’m checking your knee.”
“But … .”
“Don’t push me, Avery,” Eliot said, his voice low. “You’ve already put me in an awkward position. You were supposed to be home resting … or at the yoga studio complaining about men. Nowhere in the discussion we had this morning did visiting the convention come up.”
“That’s my fault,” Carly volunteered, raising her hand. “Avery was whiny and I couldn’t listen to much more of it without sugar, so I suggested we come because I wanted funnel cake. I knew it would be full of geeks, but even I didn’t get the full magnitude until I walked through the door.”
“Uh-huh.” Eliot didn’t look convinced. “Did you tell her to whack someone with your purse, too?”
“He pushed me,” Carly said, her voice going shrill. “I literally flew through the air and Avery caught me like a … .”
“Superhero,” I supplied.
“I was going to say a baseball catcher, but sure,” Carly said, shooting me an annoyed look. “He also had a knife. Sure, I know now that it’s a plastic knife, but it looked totally legit and frightening when we first saw it. Avery wasn’t being a pain. She was the hero today.”
“Oh, my little hero,” Eliot said, patting my head before peeling back the bandage on my knee. He made a face when he saw the pus oozing from the wound. “I need to clean this again.”
“I cleaned it this morning.”
“Yes, but you clean your wounds like you clean the house,” Eliot said. “Why do you think we’re getting a maid?”
“Because you don’t want to live in filth,” Lexie answered for me.
“Pretty much,” Eliot said. “You sit here and don’t move until I tell you it’s time. I want to talk to your friend for a moment. If you get off that counter we’re going to have words.”
“I thought we were already having words.”
“They’re going to be meaner words if you’re not careful,” Eliot said, turning his full attention to the huffing man near the door. “Take off your mask.”
The man’s shoulders twitched, reflecting surprise that Eliot finally deigned to address him. “Are you talking to me?”
“You’re the only one wearing a mask,” Eliot replied.
“That crazy blonde should be wearing a mask so I don’t have to look at her face,” the man shot back.
“I happen to like her face … most of the time,” Eliot said. “I’m not terribly fond of it right this second, but then again, I’m definitely not happy with you. So, one more time because you appear to be hard of hearing: Take off your mask.”
The man squared his shoulders, defiance practically wafting off of him. “And what happens if I say no? Your threat about letting her come after me doesn’t exactly fill me with fear.”
“It should,” Eliot said. “She’s terrifying.”
“And yet you date her,” the man shot back. “What does that say about you?”
“Oh, let me hit him again,” I whined.
Eliot pretended not to hear me. “It says I have good taste,” he calmly stated. “It also says that I have limited patience because everything I have I need to deal with her. So, for the final time, take off your mask.”
“No.”
Eliot took a step toward the man, causing the mask wearer to balk and slam into the wall in his haste to get away from Eliot. Jake picked that moment to open the door and cut off Eliot’s path to fist-pounding glory. He looked confused when he scanned the room.
“What’s going on?” Jake asked.
“Eliot is going to beat that guy up,” Carly answered. “We’re going to watch.”
“Okay.” Jake didn’t appear surprised by the admission. “Why?”
“He threw Carly across the room and Avery caught her,” Lexie replied. “Then Avery got mad and hit him in the nuts with Carly’s purse. Then Eliot intervened and stopped a bigger fight. Now this guy won’t take off his mask.”
“Oh, well, at least I’m caught up,” Jake said, making a face. He extended his hand to still Eliot and then used the other to pluck the mask off the man’s face, revealing an unremarkable guy with pudgy cheeks and dark eyelashes.
“Hey!”
“Shut up,” Jake ordered, flipping the mask over so he could study it. “What show has bird men?”
“It’s from Game of Thrones,” I explained. “He’s part of a murderous cult that enjoys raping people and having slaves.”
“Nice,” Jake intoned, annoyed. “You watch such heartwarming television, Avery.”
“It’s a great show,” I protested. “Well, except for all the raping.”
“Who are you?” Eliot asked the man, tuning out my television critique.
“I’m pretty sure I don’t have to tell you that because you’re not a real cop,” the man shot back.
“I’m Jake Farrell and I’m the county sheriff,” Jake said, pointing toward his uniform. “Who are you?”
The man made a disgusted face. “Scott Burleson.”
“A
nd why did you attack Carly?” Jake asked. “Were you trying to get to Avery?”
“I have no idea who Avery is,” Burleson replied, making an exaggerated face. “I have no idea who any of you people are. I’m from Grand Rapids. Your names mean nothing to me.”
“I’m Avery Shaw,” I offered. “Just think of me as Lois Lane.”
“Lois Lane ruined Superman,” Burleson sneered. “She turned him into a total wuss.”
“Okay, think of me as Cersei from Game of Thrones,” I said, switching gears. “I’ll behead you if you speak again. I will not, however, be having sex with my brother. I don’t have a brother, but even if I did I find incest really gross. The beheading I can live with, though.”
“Stop saying things like that,” Jake chided, his eyes contemplative as they looked Burleson up and down. “Were you here the day before yesterday?”
“I’m pretty sure I don’t have to answer that but I will because I want to get away from you people,” Burleson said. “We just got here this morning. We’re attending events today and tomorrow and then we have to head back home.”
“So you weren’t here Thursday?” Jake pressed. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“Are you deaf?”
Jake looked as if he wanted to hold Burleson down while Eliot got a few shots in. Instead, he glanced at me. “Do you think this is the guy who attacked you in the parking lot?”
I considered lying, but I knew no good would come of it. “It’s not him.”
“How can you be sure?”
“The guy in the parking lot was bigger and he had brown eyes. This guy has green eyes.”
Jake rubbed his chin and nodded. “Okay,” he said after a beat. “You need to watch yourself, Mr. Burleson. We’re investigating a murder and an attack in the parking lot. Your attitude is not appreciated, and if you cause another incident you’ll be removed from the property. Do you understand?”
The man balked. “I … it was an accident. I honestly didn’t mean to run into the little one over there. I didn’t see her. She’s tiny.”
“And she’s pregnant,” Jake said, keeping his voice even. “Be careful. Keep in mind that you’re a big guy and the mask probably covers up some of your peripheral vision. You need to make sure you don’t inadvertently run over a small woman, because you wouldn’t forgive yourself if you accidentally hurt her.”
“I’m sorry about running into you,” Burleson said to Carly. “As for you … .” He glared in my direction and fell silent, making a small “wanking” motion with his hand to infuriate me.
“No one blames you for hating her,” Jake said, pointing Burleson toward the door. “Be good. I wasn’t joking about ousting you if you screw up again.”
“Trust me. I have no interest in getting in trouble. I just want to see some stars and buy some stuff.”
“Then have fun,” Jake said.
Burleson took a step toward the door and then risked a glance in my direction. “She’s going to get in trouble, right?”
“No.” I answered before Jake could. “I’m the victim.”
“She’s going to get in trouble,” Jake confirmed. “I promise.”
“Good,” Burleson said. “The other guy looked as if he’d rather kiss her than kill her. I don’t get that. She’s mean.”
“She’s definitely mean,” Jake said, smirking. He waited until Burleson vacated the office to turn to me. “Are you satisfied?”
Was he kidding? Not even close. “Um … no.”
“Good,” Jake said. “You look riled up. That’s going to make what comes next so much easier.”
“And what is that?”
“A lecture.”
Crud. I should’ve seen that coming. Crap on toast.
23
Twenty-Three
“I don’t see how you can blame this on me.”
I was in victim mode from the start. There was no way Jake could make me accountable for any of this. Okay, I threw a cake and I technically wasn’t supposed to be here to begin with, but those were both explainable. Frankly, I blamed Carly, because I was being good before she forced me to come here and riled me up.
Jake’s patience with the populace was the stuff of legends. We’d known each other so long he had no problem letting it slip with me, though. “You don’t see how I can blame this on you? Really?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You did something,” Jake countered. “Do you want to know what I heard when I was on the convention floor? I heard a crazy blonde hit a guy with a purse and then threw a cake at another guy. I knew it was you without hearing anything other than ‘blonde.’”
“I see my reputation precedes me.”
“It’s not funny, Avery,” Jake warned. “This is an important event. It means a lot of money for the county. That guy … the one you hit … he came all the way from Grand Rapids. We have people here from all over the state – and from a few other states, for that matter. I can’t afford for things to get out of hand.”
“Now, wait a second,” Eliot said, holding up his hand. “While I’m not thrilled she’s here because I was told she’d be participating in yoga and complaining about men, I don’t think this was technically her fault.”
“Of course you would say that,” Jake said. “You have to take her side or risk the wrath of Avery when you get home.”
“Hey, I don’t take her side just to take her side,” Eliot argued. “When she’s wrong, I call her on it. She shouldn’t have been here, but after everything that’s happened you can’t expect her to just sit there and take it when Carly was almost injured.”
“That’s right,” Carly interjected. “He threw me. Hard.”
“He did,” Lexie confirmed. “I was surprised. And, for the record, if it came to a fight, I was going to join in.”
“You always join in,” Jake said, fixing Lexie with a dark look. “Whenever Avery comes up with a scheme you join in whether you think it’s a good idea or not. The only difference between now and when we were kids is that back then you thought it was a good idea. Today, I think you knew it was a bad idea. I also think you were going to help because you’re loyal. Avery would’ve done the same for you.”
“That’s because I’m awesome,” I said.
“You’re not awesome,” Jake countered. “You’re a pain in the butt with a huge mouth who skates through life because somehow you manage to charm people despite your rather large personality defects.”
I blew out a dramatic sigh. “I’m so sorry, Sheriff Farrell. I won’t ever do it again.”
Absolutely no one in the room believed my apology.
“Try again,” Jake prodded.
“I’ll be more careful next time I do it,” I offered, adjusting tactics. “I honestly was trying to protect Carly. She’s tiny … and pregnant.”
“We have a bad situation here, Avery,” Jake said. “I have no leads on the murder. I know you already know that, so it’s not as if I’m telling you something new. We’re running out of time to solve it. If this convention breaks before the murder is solved, what do you think is going to happen?”
“I think you’ll never be able to solve it because all of the suspects will leave when they pack up their belongings and hit the road,” I answered. “I think you’ve done the exact same legwork I have and come up empty.
“I think you’ve talked to everyone and realized no one really knew Kristen Reardon,” I continued. “There were a lot of rumors, but since she had no real friends you have no facts. All you have is a dead woman who was obviously killed by someone she knows.
“Now, it could’ve been a crime of passion, or it could’ve been a crime of opportunity,” I said, warming to my topic. It always helps me to talk scenarios out in front of an audience. “If it was a crime of passion, that means she ticked off the wrong person and he reacted by strangling her. Perhaps he panicked and realized what he was doing but it was too late to stop because he would’ve gone to jail. Perhaps he enjoyed
doing it.
“If it was a crime of opportunity, that means someone might have a taste for killing people,” I said. “That’s a real worry, because if someone did it and liked it, he might do it again. All of this is on top of the fact that you’re forced to police an event with thousands of people going through the building every day. You can’t keep track of guests, let alone workers, and you’re at a loss because you don’t have a suspect to watch.
“You’re in a really bad place and I’m betting you ran background checks on all the workers,” I continued. “I did the same yesterday. Other than a few petty crimes – like drunken driving, shoplifting, online fraud and a few odd flashing incidents for some guy who enjoys dressing as a clown – no one here has a criminal record. You have absolutely no one to focus on and you’re losing time to find the focus you desperately need. I get it.”
Jake’s mouth dropped open. “I … you should be a cop. I swear. Your mind works like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”
“How did you figure all of that out?” Carly asked.
“That’s what I do,” I replied. “We’re absolutely nowhere. That’s why Jake isn’t holding daily news updates. This was a grisly murder and the public would generally be up in arms, but since it’s an outsider no one seems to care.
“The other problem you have is that the victim’s family lives out of state,” I continued. “Yeah, I checked that, too. You can only question family members over the phone. I left a message and didn’t hear back. I also called the funeral home. It’s shipping the body out because no family is coming here to claim her.”
“You didn’t tell me that part,” Eliot said, his eyes darkening. “You told me about using my computer to run background checks – I changed my password, by the way – but you left the rest of it out.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I came up empty. As for the password, well, I’m sure it will be equally hard to crack. I particularly liked that you used my name as part of it this last time. It made me feel like a real girl for a few minutes. My heart warmed and everything.”
Bylines & Skylines (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 9) Page 20
