Find Me

by Laurelin Paige

  Chapter Thirteen

  We still hadn’t decided if we would tell anyone about our engagement when we arrived at Hudson and Alayna’s building for dinner. While both of us were excited about the news, we weren’t sure if the timing was appropriate. In the end, JC left it up to me.

  “They’re your friends,” he said as the elevator climbed to the penthouse at The Bowery. “You’re the one who can read them best.”

  It didn’t take knowing Laynie to be able to read her when we stepped into her foyer at seven forty two. I’d texted her earlier about JC coming, but she seemed taken aback when she saw him, and I was pretty sure her surprise was obvious to him as well. Her eyes darted from me to JC then back to me, and though she smiled brightly, her speech was high-pitched and rapid, almost as if she were panicked.

  “Hi. Uh, welcome! I’m so glad that you both could come.” She put extra emphasis on the word both. “I’ll take your purse if you want, Gwen.”

  “Didn’t you get my message?” I asked, sliding the strap of my bag off my shoulder.

  “Didn’t you get mine?”

  “Uh,” I rummaged through my purse for my phone. One missed call. There was a voice mail waiting too. “Guess not. Should I listen?”

  She shook her head. “It’s fine. Everything’s going to be fine.” Her smile continued to be too bright, and I wondered whom she was trying to convince. And why.

  But before I could ask, she’d turned to JC. “We didn’t officially meet, Justin. I’ve heard so very much about you. I’m Laynie.” She held her hand out toward him.

  “It’s JC, actually.” He accepted her hand and rested his other palm on her elbow, making the gesture less formal. His extra effort with my best friend did funny things to my chest and less strange, but unspeakable, things to my lower parts.

  “Good. Good. Glad to have you.” Laynie took my purse and stowed it in the coat closet. When she turned back, she clapped her hands together. “Well. Everyone else is here already.”

  “‘Everyone else?’” We were auditioning a cook again that night, and I’d only expected it to be us, possibly my sister, if Hudson had been able to talk her into leaving work for the evening. With growing anxiety, I rounded the corner and stopped short when I saw the living room. Or rather, when I saw the small crowd gathered there. It wasn’t that I minded lots of people, or even specifically these people. It was just one of the people that caused my heart to start hammering—Chandler.

  “Ah, fuck.”

  JC came up next to me and took my hand. “What’s wrong?” he asked, following my line of vision. “Ah. I see.”

  I turned into him and whispered, “I had no idea. I swear. Do you want to leave? We can totally leave if you want.”

  His answer came instantly. “Hell, no.” He gave me a smile that I was sure he reserved for only me. “I’m not afraid if you’re not.”

  Afraid? I wasn’t sure that was the right word for what I was feeling.

  “Nah, I’m totally cool.” I returned his smile, but I wasn’t sure it looked any less plastered than Laynie’s had. I turned to her next. “What is this anyway? An Anders/Pierce family reunion?”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “We were all together on the boat yesterday—missed you, by the way—and Mira said we should get together more often, and more often turned into tonight.”

  The we that she referred to included—besides Chandler—Hudson, of course, Ben and his boyfriend Eric, Norma and Boyd, Hudson’s sister Mira and her husband Adam. Really, I would have loved the opportunity to introduce JC to all of them. It was just the youngest Pierce that was making me uncomfortable.

  “It’s fine,” I said, echoing her earlier statement, including the weary subtext. “Everything’s going to be fine.” I turned back to JC and attempted to look on the bright side. “You’ll get to meet my sister.”

  “Do you want me to keep your ring in my pocket?” he asked quietly so that Alayna wouldn’t hear.

  “No!” Except, if I wasn’t going to tell anyone about our engagement—and with Chandler present, it probably was best not to—then I did need to hide the evidence. I didn’t want to part with the ring, though, so I shifted it from my left hand to my right and turned the stone into my palm, hoping that would conceal it for now. “I’m still deciding what I want to do,” I explained, “but I can’t really stand the idea of taking it off.”

  He nodded in understanding. “I can’t really stand the idea of you taking it off either.”

  “Are you going to hover over there all night,” Ben shouted across the room, “or are you going to join us?”

  No running away now. I took a deep breath, and with my hand tightly clamped to JC’s, I entered the lion’s den.

  Introductions went better than I could have hoped, everyone welcoming despite any underlying tension they may have picked up on.

  Ben pounced on us first. “So, is this still the same date that I helped my sister get ready for a day ago?”

  “Nope. Second date.” My blush said otherwise. Thankfully no one mentioned it.

  Ben clapped JC on the back. “Second date! I’m impressed. You must be a good man. Not many people can stand her for more than twenty minutes.”

  “Ha ha.” I stuck my tongue out at him for good measure.

  “I’m not sure if I’d call me a good man.” JC swept his gaze over to me. “I’d say lucky. Very, very lucky.”

  Hudson was next in the lineup. He welcomed JC to his home with a sturdy handshake and offered him a drink that was declined.

  Mira rolled her eyes at JC’s hand, pulling him into a hug instead as she mouthed to me over his shoulder, “Hot!”

  Adam, who I discovered was several years older than his wife, had been at Yale at the same time JC had, and the two spent several minutes reminiscing about campus life.

  Norma took the opportunity to sneak in a word with me. “I would have called to warn you, but Alayna said she already had.”

  “She did. I didn’t get the message. It’s fine.”

  She nodded at my fiancé. “Things are good then?”

  “Yes. Very good. I’m so glad you finally get to meet him. And you brought Boyd?” I hoped that meant their relationship was out in the open now.

  “It’s not as exciting as you think,” she said, guessing my thoughts. “Hudson said I had to keep appearances for the staff, which we did on the cruise yesterday. Tonight I said fuck it. Hudson hasn’t said a word about it being a problem yet, so fingers crossed.”

  “So both the Anders girls are causing drama tonight. Fabulous.” Noticing a break in the Yale conversation, I jumped in. “JC, I want you to meet my sister, Norma. She hates it when I say that she’s practically my mother, because she’s much too young for that, but I say it anyway because, one, I like to annoy her, and, two, it’s true.”

  “Then you’re the one I need to impress.” JC shook her hand, using the same intimate gesture he had with Laynie. “I’m not sure I have the best reputation in the Anders household, but I assure you, I’m in love with your sister, and I promise to do everything I can to honor her from now on.”

  Norma raised her eyebrow in a way that I knew meant she was impressed. “I’m extremely glad to hear that, JC. I don’t think I need to tell you what that means to me. Gwen is the strongest woman I know, but she’s still very breakable.”

  It was a warning that simultaneously irritated and moved me.

  “Trust me. I’m fully aware of what she is,” he said, his eyes locked with Norma’s.

  They exchanged a look that seemed to indicate that they’d reached some sort of silent understanding. I’d been half kidding when I’d said she was my mother, but Jesus, she was certainly filling the role.

  “Okay, okay. Enough bonding.” I tugged JC away and regretted it immediately. Because when we turned from Norma, Chandler was waiting.

  “Justin,” Chandler said, even though I’d introduced him as JC. “I’ve been wanting to meet you.” He offered his hand, his eyes narrowed as he s
ized up the man he surely saw as competition.

  JC accepted his hand. “Chandler, is it? Yes. I think Gwen may have mentioned you.” His tone was layered with condescension.

  I bit back a groan. Next they’d be whipping out their dicks and measuring. I’d expected the pompous attitude from Chandler, but JC? When we’re alone, I told myself, I’m kicking his ass.

  “Oh,” Chandler said, obviously surprised that I’d mentioned him. “Well. Good to hear.”

  Great. Now he’d probably think that meant he was more important in my life than he was.

  But I didn’t have time to worry about that or worry about if there would be a mess to clean up after the men had finished their pissing contest, because, just then, Hudson announced dinner was ready.

  JC found my hand again as we followed the others to the dining room. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

  “Not so bad,” I agreed. Still, I had a feeling the showdown had only just begun.

  ***

  Dinner began well. The conversation was light and easy, and the first course, a wedge salad, was perfectly in line with what we hoped to include on the menu at The Sky Launch.

  It wasn’t until the first plates were gathered and more wine was poured that Chandler shot his first pointed question at JC.

  “I see you aren’t drinking, Justin? Are you an alcoholic?”

  Every muscle in my body tensed, but under the table, JC put a calming hand on my thigh. “I don’t believe I am, Chandler. I’m usually fine with moderation. Just, the last time I did drink too much, I embarrassed myself. Now I’m taking a break.”

  “And I’m supporting him.” I raised my water glass as if in demonstration and took a swallow.

  “Ah.” Chandler’s expression narrowed suspiciously. “That sounds like a story.”

  “Not a story that’s going to be shared tonight,” I said. Before he could pursue the topic further, I turned to Mira. “So how’s that adorable baby of yours. Please tell me you have pictures.”

  The main course was served and discussion shifted to Arin, her eight-month old daughter. Mira’s phone was passed around so everyone could see the latest photos and a video of her first steps. It was slightly uncomfortable considering it had only been a handful of hours since JC had said he wanted children himself but was way less awkward then continuing any conversation with Chandler.

  “She’s so, so smart,” Mira said. “When I found out I was having a girl, I stereotypically assumed that she’d love the fashion world as much as I do. The way she’s developing, I think it’s more likely she’ll go to med school like her father.”

  “Maybe she’ll go to Yale,” JC suggested, and I wondered if he wished he had a child that would maybe go to Yale.

  “Justin, did I hear you say you attended Yale as well?” Hudson’s use of JC’s given name was less grating than Chandler’s. He called practically everyone by their full name.

  “I did. Law school.”

  “Law school?” Chandler chuckled. “That’s got to be interesting considering how much Gwen hates lawyers.”

  I knew what he was doing. Trying to prove he knew me as well if not better than JC. But he didn’t. The only lawyer that I had ever hated was my father’s, which I may have mentioned once in Chandler’s presence.

  Well, two could play at that game. “JC’s not actually a lawyer. He just uses a lot of law in his business dealings.” I felt smug, reciting information I’d learned on the Internet as proof that I knew things about JC.

  Unfortunately, JC didn’t catch on to my objective. “Impressive. You did your research.”

  Dammit.

  I smiled, hoping my face didn’t show my defeat. “Of course I did, honey.” I’d never called him honey before. God, what was I trying to prove?

  Whatever it was, I was failing.

  Chandler puffed with confidence. “Oh, that’s right. Gwen told me you were an investor. What sorts of things do you fund?”

  “A little bit of everything. A lot of computer software and mobile applications.”

  “I had a great idea for an application. Maybe you’d want to invest.” As if Chandler didn’t have enough money of his own to fund a project. “It’s simple really. A bowling app that allows you to play your real-time game with friends across the country.”

  “Sounds fascinating,” JC lied.

  “Gwen can tell you more about it. She was there when I came up with the idea. You remember that night, don’t you, Gwen?”

  “I don’t think so.” I did, though. Remembered it well. I’d met up with him at a bowling alley where he’d been hanging out with some of his friends. He sat out the next game after I arrived so that he could join me in the women’s bathroom, where I’d given him a blowjob before he’d fucked me in the handicap stall. Nothing else notable happened that night that I could think of.

  Which meant he was only bringing it up to prove a point.

  I felt sick. And pissed. And the only thing I knew to say that might shut him up was definitely not the right thing to say.

  “I’m sure you do,” Chandler pressed. “You met me outside the—”

  I sprang up from my chair, cutting him off. “Hey, everyone. Guess what.” I tugged at JC’s hand, bringing him up as well. “We have an announcement.”

  He leaned in toward my ear. “Are you sure you want—”

  “Yes,” I whispered back. I wasn’t sure, though. I did want to tell everyone, but I was only doing this to stick it to Chandler. It was the wrong reason, and I knew it. But I’d gone this far…

  So, with a smile that was more confident than I was, I spilled the news. “JC and I are getting married.”

  The room was stunned. Which was fair. An engagement was pretty out of the blue. As the silence stretched to four seconds—five seconds—the wisdom of blurting it out in the middle of dinner like this seemed more and more doubtful.

  But then all at once, everyone burst into congratulations in various forms, all of it blurring together so that I couldn’t tell who was saying what. My eyes flitted around the room, trying to read the expressions of my siblings and Laynie. Each beamed back at me with wide eyes and smiles that seemed sincere enough.

  I let out the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding, and despite the motives of my proclamation, the intense joy I’d felt when I’d said yes returned in a second wave. To hell with Chandler. I had JC, and he made me feel wonderful. Agreeing to spend my life with him was the most momentous thing I’d ever done. And, if the best part about being engaged was how happy it made me, the next best part was sharing that happiness with the people who loved me.

  Ben stood and wrapped me in a bear hug. “Damn, girl. I guess there’s something to the theory that you keep them interested when you save the milk.”

  “Uh, yeah, my no-sex plan sort of went to hell.”

  “Really?” he asked with heavy sarcasm. “I thought for sure that skorts were the updated version of a chastity belt.” He beamed as I smacked his arm. “Congrats. You deserve something good.”

  I waved him away, afraid my mascara would run if he said anything else. Then the server that Laynie had hired for the night came out from the kitchen with dessert, and the clamor of congratulations dulled into the sounds of utensils scraping against plates and spoons stirring inside coffee cups.

  As things calmed, I braved a glance at Chandler. He hadn’t said a word since my announcement, and even now, his eyes were cast downward, his jaw tense, his shoulders slumped.

  His reaction didn’t disrupt the waves of elation that continued to crash over me, but it did pull at me, like the undertow in the ocean. A smidgeon of guilt and regret curled around my emotions and threatened to sweep me away, and if I didn’t have JC to cling onto, it might have succeeded.

  But I did have JC, and so I stayed standing in the bubbles of the surf.

  Chapter Fourteen

  After dinner, we shuffled back to the living room to linger over nightcaps and coffee. The tension I’d felt earlier had completely
dissipated, primarily because Chandler had said very little since my announcement. Which only created new tension, a guilty kind of tension, that sat in my belly like remnants from a bad meal.

  Fortunately, the rest of the dinner party seemed enthusiastic about my upcoming wedding, which made up for any negativity. When I’d returned my ring to its rightful hand, the women ooh’d and ah’d while Adam and Hudson got smug about the jewels they’d bought for their wives. I’d yet to get a read on Norma, though. She seemed to be cheerful enough but hadn’t said much, and it was her opinion that I cared about most.

  Eric was the first to ask about the details. “Have you set a date yet?”

  I exchanged glances with JC. We’d easily agreed on a time frame for our engagement¸ but we were well aware that others might have opinions about it.

  “September thirtieth,” I said and readied myself for the assault.

  It didn’t come in quite the way I’d expected nor from the people I’d expected.

  “September thirtieth?” Mira’s eyes were wide with disbelief. “Jesus, are you trying to kill me? We’re barely going to have time to get a dress fitted. Do you even know what style you’re thinking? What about attendants? Is it going to be indoor or outdoor? You know what? Come by the boutique tomorrow. We have to start on this ASAP if we expect to pull this off.”

  “I, uh, guess Mirabelle’s is handling the bride’s attire,” I laughed.

  “I’ll get you set up too, JC,” Mira assured. “I have some connections with some really good menswear stores that can work on that time frame. Just let me know who’s going to be in the party—groomsmen, bridesmaids, parents—and I’ll get everything set up.”

  “Too bad Dad’s not around to walk you down the aisle.” It was Ben’s version of a joke, one that I didn’t find at all funny.

  I shot him my best glare. “The best present that man can give me is to never show up in my life again.”

  “You don’t want him back in jail?” Laynie’s question made me realize I hadn’t ever shared my opinions with her. Or anyone, except Norma.