by Smith, Wendy
* * *
The drive home is equally quiet, and Lily struggles to keep her eyes open as we weave down the last of the country roads before we reach the town. I smile as she closes her eyes and gets some of the rest she seems to so desperately need. It’s not just that I’m still as attracted to her as I was all those years ago—I’m also enjoying these little things I can do for her. As much as I think that I came home for Mum, truth is I also came back for Lily. Can I win her heart again?
I head back to Lily’s car. She gets out first once we get there, as if she’s keen to get away from me. Her light floral scent lingers behind her, and I take a deep breath before exiting. I have to make the most of these moments when she lets me in.
“Thanks for this,” she says for the millionth time as I reach the front of the car. I prop up the bonnet.
“You don’t have to thank me. I’m happy to help. Just wish we could have spent more time talking.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know what else there is to say.”
I still have so many questions, but it’s clear she’s not going to answer anything. I’ll have to chip away at that veneer and get on the inside to get any answers. What happened to that warm, sweet girl who would do anything for anyone? She’s put up walls, and while I catch glimpses of her behind them, it’ll take a lot to smash through.
She fidgets behind me as I pull out the old, broken belt and rip open the packaging of the new one. Hopefully this hasn’t caused too much other damage to the car. I think she might break if anything else goes wrong with this thing.
“Is there anything I can do?” she asks.
“It won’t take long. I’m just checking to see if I can spot anything else. I want this car safe for you to drive.” I look back over my shoulder and she raises her eyes to look at the sky. Anything but look at me. “Although, it’d be better if you got a new car,” I murmur. Shit.
Pain spreads through my shin, and I yelp before turning back toward her. “Hey. What did you kick me for?”
“You don’t think if I could get a new car, I would? I’m thankful for the help, Adam, but my life’s not so easy I can just do whatever I want.”
“I get that. I really do.” I take a step toward her. “I’m just looking out for you and Max. Being back here has woken some old feelings, and meeting Max …” I smile. “Meeting Max has been an adventure.”
“An adventure.” She’s not smiling. Whatever I say is wrong.
“He’s such a great kid, Lily.” I lick my lips and take another half step, drawing level with her. “Seeing you again makes me realise how much I miss you. I’ve thought about you a lot over the years.”
She nearly breaks her resolve. I always could read her face, and it’s so hard for her to keep her composure. We’re at the side of the road where anyone could see us as they go past, but I want to grab her and kiss her, reacquaint myself with the taste of those pink lips.
“I used to miss you. But I moved on.”
That’s a stab to the chest. “When did you get to be so stubborn?”
Lily frowns.
“I want in those walls. You can’t hold out on me forever.”
She flicks a look from under her eyelashes that warms me from head to toe. I wanted her when we were teenagers—now that urge is even stronger. This girl I used to be with has transformed into an impressive woman. Strong, resilient.
I’m still in love with her.
15
Adam
I’ve spent the last four days trying to contact my brothers, and Owen and Drew won’t return my calls. Corey is apparently off hunting and unreachable. What I really want is to sit down, have a beer, and talk shit with them. The longer I’m here, the more things about them I miss.
Instead, I try to be the dutiful son and spend time with my mother. If I didn’t know better, I’d think there was nothing wrong with her. When he’s not working, Dad hovers around me like he’s wanting to say something, but he never does. It’s driving me mad.
We eat another dinner which my mother insisted on cooking without help. Her moods range from being slightly happy to miserable, but I’m never sure if it’s her illness or just her personality behind it.
After dinner, Mum, Dad and I settle in to watch television. It’s boring as all hell, but at least I’m with my family.
Mum grumbles as the phone rings. “Who is it at this hour?”
“It’s only half past eight.” I laugh.
She shakes her head and shifts her view back to the TV.
Dad gets up and disappears into the kitchen to answer. “Hello? Lily? Are you okay?” Dad’s tone is panicked, and he pokes his head in the living room door. “Lily’s on the phone for you?”
“The world must be ending,” I mutter as I take the phone. It has to be pretty extreme for her to risk speaking with Mum to talk to me.
“Hey, Lily.”
“Adam, it’s Max. He’s gone.” The words tumble out in a rush in a high-pitched tone.
“What’s going on?”
“We had dinner and I tucked him into bed, but he sneaked out. I went to check on him and I can’t find him.”
I swallowed. “Could he be hiding?”
“He never has before. I’ve got the police here, but I really need you too.”
She needs me. “I’ll be right there.”
I hang up the phone and stare at it for a moment. This isn’t the way I expected her to take me up on my offer.
“Adam?” Dad touches my shoulder.
“Max is missing. Lily’s going out of her mind.”
His eyebrows dip, and he lowers his voice. “We need to talk …”
“When I get back.” Dad trails behind me as I head out the door and toward the car.
“Adam,” he calls as I climb in the front seat.
“Later, Dad.” I start the car and hit the accelerator, leaving him standing in the driveway. Whatever he has to talk to me about can wait. I’ve got more important places to be.
There’s a police car in Lily’s yard, and on either side of the house torches flash as they search for Max. My stomach churns. He’s a smart kid, but if he’s gotten into trouble … it doesn’t bear thinking about. Every light in Lily’s house is on.
I pull up near the porch and step out of the car. Turning as I hear another car behind me, I raise an eyebrow at the sight of Eric Murphy getting out of it. Did she call him too?
She’s had Eric Murphy running around after her for years. Mum’s words echo in my ears.
Despite being anxious about Max, I can’t help the jealousy running through my veins. Maybe she just called me for extra manpower to search for her son, but Eric? The sudden thought that Eric might be Max’s father leaves me nauseous. The thought of Eric touching Lily makes it worse.
“Eric?” I say as he approaches.
“Holy shit. Talk about a blast from the past. Adam Campbell?”
“Yeah. I’m home. Did Lily call you too?”
He frowns. “No. I just saw all the lights and the police car from the road. Wondered if she needed help.”
Stalking past me, he reaches the bottom of the steps as the front door swings open. Lily darts through the door, past Eric, and straight at me. I catch her just as she flings her arms around my neck, sobbing into my chest.
“Hey,” I whisper, kissing the top of her head.
“I’m sorry for calling. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad you called.” She’s shaking. It’s not that cold, but it is chilly. Max will be fine for a while in this, but we really need to find him.
“What’s going on?” Eric asked.
Lily raises her head, and from the surprised expression on her face, I can tell she had no idea Eric was there. “Max has run off somewhere. At least I think that’s what happened. I tucked him into bed, went back down to watch TV for a while, and when I went to check on him he’d gone.” She gasps as she speaks, taking big breaths of the night air.
; “What are the cops doing?”
“There are a couple of them looking around. If they don’t find anything, they’ll form a search party.”
Tears stream down her face and instinctively I wipe them away with my fingers. “We’ll find him, Lily. I promise.”
I’ll move heaven and earth to keep that promise to her.
* * *
The police search turns up nothing but the discovery that Max’s bicycle is missing. Now we know he’s probably not on the property, but he’s out there on the dark roads on a bike with no light.
“Can you think of anywhere he might have gone?” Lily’s asked by the police for what feels like the hundredth time. We sit on the couch, her hands enveloped by mine. She seems to find my presence reassuring. I only wish I could do more.
She shakes her head. “The only place he spends any time at other than here is school.”
“Do you think he’d go there?”
“I can’t see why.”
One of the cops has already gone, taking a slow drive toward the cove. Max being out on the road terrifies me, memories of the day I could have run him over still fresh in my mind.
“We’ll find him,” I say, slipping one arm around her shoulders. She leans her head against me, and I rest mine on hers.
“I’m going to check the creek,” Eric says softly. He’s stood near the doorway, watching us this whole time.
Lily pulls away. “You don’t think?” She stiffens as her eyes fill with fear.
“Just in case. I know Max can swim, but we need to eliminate that.”
Now’s not the time to get irrational and jealous that he knows this and I don’t. I’m the one who should have been here for them. I know that now more than ever.
He leans over and kisses the top of her head. “I’ll come back as soon as I’ve checked. I’ll take a look around the back paddocks too, just in case he’s gone to hang out with the sheep or something. The cops didn’t check very far.”
Lily nods, grabbing hold of his hand. “Thanks, Eric.”
At the door he pauses, looking back at her with an expression I know well. It’s the look of a man who’s loved and lost. It’s the same expression that’s looked back at me in the mirror all these years.
She leans against my chest, and I stroke her hair, kissing her forehead. “He’s an explorer, Lil. He needs to know everything,” I whisper.
“How could you possibly know that?”
“I was the same at his age. It wasn’t until I found you that my heart settled.”
Her chest rises and falls at the deep breaths she’s forcing herself to take. The effort is obvious. With her in my arms I feel whole again. Even if there’s still a wall between us, it’s a lot thinner than it was.
“Thing is that Max is even more so. He doesn’t always see the world like the rest of us, and I bet he’s not even thinking about how scared you are right now. There’s something out there he wants to see, and it’s important enough for him to sneak out.”
She nods and sniffs, raising her face to meet my gaze. “I’m glad you’re here, and I’m glad that you’re getting to know Max.”
I palm her cheek. “I’m glad you’re letting me in.”
“What are we doing?” Her voice is a whisper.
“What do you mean?”
“This. You’re back five minutes and I’m here, in your arms. You make me feel safe, the way you always did.” Tears roll down her face and over the back of my hand where it rests.
I raise my thumb, running it under her eye. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear that.”
“All I need now is to know Max is safe.”
“He will be. I just know it. We’ll find him, Lily.”
* * *
An hour later, the residents of the caravan park are out searching the cove. We’ve not heard from Eric, and Lily’s going out of her mind. She and I have sat on the couch, with her enveloped in my arms, just waiting. She’s frozen with fear. It’s radiating from her and it kills me I can’t make it stop.
“I’ve had enough of sitting here. I’m going for a drive toward town,” I say.
“There are already people out looking. I don’t want to be alone,” she whispers.
“You won’t be.” A voice comes from the door, and we look up to see Eric. Hope fills Lily’s face. “There’s no sign of him at the creek, or with the sheep. I’ll sit with you if Adam wants to go for a drive.”
He flops in a chair beside the couch. His jeans are covered in dried mud, and from his tired expression, it’s clear how hard on him looking has been. Dad told me it’s rained a lot these past few weeks, and the ground must be soft.
“I might go for a drive toward the school, go past the bakery.”
Eric nods, handing me a torch. “Good idea. Take this.”
“Thanks.”
Lily grips my hand. “Please find him.” Her eyes plead with me, and I’d do anything to reassure her.
“I’ll do my best. I swear.”
She nods.
“I’ll be back soon.” I bend and kiss her cheek. Her grip tightens, and I squeeze back before pulling my hand from hers.
I get to the door before turning. Eric looks up. “I’ll make a coffee. Want one, Lily?” He gives me a look that tells me she’s in good hands. It sucks to leave her, but I can’t sit still. It’s one of those moments where I miss my army mates, the ones I’ve spent countless hours with, the ones who would be out combing this place for Max if I asked. But I’m a long way from the military and my other family. Max needs me.
The time in the car alone brings me the ability to think. It’s been difficult to concentrate with Lily so strung out. I’m as worried about her as I am about him.
When I hit the main street, I slow, cruising past the shops and heading toward the school. He has to be out here somewhere. Where would I go if I was Max?
As I pass the shops and with not much farther to go to the school, my eyes pick up Lily’s old house. Shit. What if he’s gone there? It was a few days ago I mentioned it, but what if his curiosity got the better of him? It can’t hurt to check.
There’s no traffic as I do a U-turn and pull up outside the place. I grab the torch and exit the car. The only lighting around here is the dim glow of the streetlights. Not enough to guide my way.
The old metal gate creaks as I open it. The garden has taken over the path to the front door, and I push my way through it toward the house.
“Max,” I cry. Please let me find him. “Max.”
Growing closer, I reach the front of the garden. Lily said no one has lived here in eleven years, but it’s clear no one’s even visited for that long. Maybe now she’s accepted my help and seems to want to lean on me for support, she’ll open up and tell me everything about the past twelve years.
“Max.” I shine the torch on the front door. It’s slightly ajar, and I push it open farther.
There’s a musty smell inside, the scent of a house that’s been shut up for a very long time. This place has been long since abandoned. What the hell happened here?
“Max,” I call again, shining the light around and surveying the inside.
It’s obvious there’s been someone here at some point after all, maybe squatters. Graffiti covers the walls, and there’s old bedding lying around. Even in a small town like this there are people down on their luck and delinquents out of control.
A small face peeks around the corner, and I let out a relieved breath at the sight of Max. Tears stream down his cheeks as he runs toward me and I catch him, holding him tight and trying not to cry myself. I’ve never felt such a sense of relief in my entire life.
“Adam,” he sobs, and I just hold on, closing my eyes as I hug him.
“What are you doing here?”
Between breaths, he spits out the words, “I just wanted to see it. Mum wouldn’t let me so I did what you did.”
I used to sneak out of my house and ride my bike over here. That’s what I told him. Shit.
“You should have told her where you were going. She’s been worried sick about you.”
“I was going back. But my torch went flat, and it was dark. I couldn’t see the way out.”
I sigh and stroke his hair. “Let’s get you home to Mum. Don’t you ever do this to her again.”
He pulls away. “I won’t.”
We make our way back through the garden, and just before we get to the gate, he pauses. “My bike’s here somewhere.”
I shine the torch and see it lying in a bush to the right of the path. I’d walked right past it and missed it.
Shaking my head, I hand the torch to him and pick up the bike, carrying it the short distance out to the car. I open the boot and it almost fits. I’ll just have to leave it open.
“Get in the car.” He hops in the back obediently.
I pick up my mobile as I get into the car before realising I don’t have Lily’s number. “Hey, bud. Do you know what your home number is?”
“Mum tried to get me to remember it, but I can’t.” He’s in the back with his arms crossed.
“Okay. Let’s get you home. She’ll be so happy to see you.”
It’s a quiet ride back to Lily’s. Max isn’t stupid. He knows he’s in for a whole world of hurt once he’s home. Although, Lily will probably just be glad to see him safe.
“Mum’s gonna be pissed,” he says. I keep my eyes focused on the road, my head turned firmly away from Max so he can’t see me laughing to myself.
“She’s right to be. That wasn’t cool. She called the police she was so worried.”
This time I look in the rear-view mirror. Max’s face falls, and I can see he hasn’t thought that bit out.
“I didn’t mean to scare her.”
“Maybe not, but you did.” We reach the driveway and I slow. “She’s also going to be so pleased to see you. Better make the most of it, kiddo, and tell her how much you love her.”
Max’s head is down, and it’s clear the full impact of what he’s done has just hit him. I feel sorry for him, but at the same time it angers me that Lily’s been so upset. She turned to me when Eric was right next door, and the thought of that fills me with more hope than it should. The way she flew out of that house and into my arms sends me a message.
