Aquarius: Haunted Heart

by Sèphera Girón

  “No worries, Madeline,” Adele said, trying to brush the snow from her over by the door. “You go on in and get warm.”

  Madeline went into the next room, where several other women were gathered.

  “Hi, Lily, Ursula, oh, and Ellie,” Madeline said as she hugged each woman.

  “Happy birthday,” they greeted her.

  “Thank you,” Madeline replied, spinning around as Toni caught her in a bear grip.

  “Wow, you’re 31 now. Officially an old lady.” Toni smirked.

  “Oh please, 31 is not old,” Gwen said as she flicked her new pageboy cut.

  “Look at your hair,” Madeline said. “You look great.”

  “Thank you. It’s easier to deal with on the road. Just some mousse and a blow-dryer and I’m good to go.”

  A bell was rung, and the ladies stopped their chattering. It was time for the circle to begin. Solemnly, the women entered the room where the circle ceremony took place. They went over to the handmaidens and removed their clothes and donned their cloaks for the occasion. Quietly they pulled the hoods over their heads and focused on their task.

  As they found their spots in the circle, Lucy sang a song about hope. The air was thick with incense, and candles flickered from the sconces in the wall.

  Madeline could feel the excitement of the ladies’ energy as they eagerly anticipated the ceremony.

  Lucy walked around in front of the women, carefully pouring salt from a bowl to create a circle. When she was done, she took her place with the others.

  “Tonight, we will continue our quest for love and acceptance. With Valentine’s Day only a couple of days before us, many of you will be thinking about love and the men in your life. Most of you are single, yet as this new year has dawned, two of you have found love.”

  The ladies turned to grin at Maggie and Natasha. Maggie smiled and blushed while Natasha stared at the floor.

  “Today, we will honor Madeline’s birthday and send her focused energy to create a year of prosperity and joy.”

  “Blessed be,” the group said in unison. “Let us begin.”

  Lucy led the group through prayer and song. Madeline studied the faces around her. She had been part of the group for years and had seen members come and go. She figured Gwen would be the next to leave the fold. Gwen traveled frequently as a flight attendant, and she usually stayed at the apartment she shared with two other flight attendants in Manhattan. Her loft in Hermana was often empty, and there were many months when she flew in for the circle and left the next day.

  As far as Madeline knew, Gwen was still single. She imagined Gwen had a rather Sex and the City life with her roommates when they were all home at the same time. No doubt Gwen had a few romps, but she hadn’t spoken of anyone serious in a long time.

  “Her time will come...” the circle sang. Madeline turned her focus back to the ceremony and realized the song was directed toward her. She turned her gaze toward Lucy and saw how much Lucy had aged in the past month or so. Madeline knew it had something to do with the spell she had performed to help Natasha recover from her ordeal a couple weeks before. Maybe the spell had used up too much of her energy. Lucy was very old, in her eighties, and sometimes just doing the monthly rituals was taxing for her. The worry about Natasha had been too much.

  Madeline wondered too if Lucy helped Natasha feed. Did she let the vampire feast on her in order to spare an innocent soul somewhere? It couldn’t be. Lucy wasn’t strong enough for that—it would quickly kill her. And then what? Natasha would still have to feed. She’d survived long before Lucy was born and would survive long after all of them had gone. Madeline had to stop worrying.

  “Madeline,” Lucy said to her, stepping forward from her spot in the circle. Her pale eyes searched Madeline’s face warmly. “I’ve known you many years and watched you grow from student to full-grown professional woman. I know what it’s taken for you to be a published author and photographer and how you’ve sacrificed your love life in order to achieve success.”

  Madeline nodded as Lucy stood in front of her, taking her hands.

  “I know how hard it’s been, and I want you to know you’ve done what you were supposed to do. And the universe will reward you for staying on your path.”

  “I’m just naturally curious,” Madeline said, “and it’s easy for me to do things I enjoy, such as writing and taking pictures.”

  “It’s always lovely to see one using one’s gifts. However, you are still not quite there yet.” Lucy smiled as she put her hands on Madeline’s shoulders and stared into her eyes.

  “What am I missing?” Madeline asked.

  “You see, but you don’t feel. You see orbs and spirits, but you don’t feel them.”

  “I feel the room get hot and cold.”

  “But you don’t feel them stroking your arms right now, or hear their thoughts with your body.”

  Madeline paused for a moment, straining to listen or feel something. There was nothing but the whirring energy created by the circle and the uneasy stares of the other ladies.

  “You can’t feel that?” Natasha asked raising an eyebrow.

  “What?” Madeline asked as she brushed her arms with her fingers, hoping to feel something.

  “That impudent young spirit was stroking your bosom,” Natasha said, her teeth long and gleaming from under her hood.

  “Where?” Madeline asked. A couple of the ladies giggled, and Lucy gave them warning glances.

  “Now, ladies. Focus. We mustn’t break the energy of the circle.”

  The energy shifted as the women returned their attention to Lucy and the ritual.

  “Madeline, to help you see things more clearly, you need to do something that takes you away from so much mental energy. Everything you do requires logic. Even your orb photos puzzle you as you logically try to determine what really made the spots. Sometimes you just have to let go. Follow your gut instinct.”

  “I follow my instinct.”

  “No, my dear. You follow your logic. And it’s time for you to supplement that talent with another.”

  “What do I do?”

  “You need to find an art form that isn’t writing. Music, dance, theater, drawing, painting, sculpture... something that requires your body or part of it to complete the creative process. This will help you tap into the unconscious, and your mind will open a little more.”

  “Really?” Madeline asked.

  “Yes, really.” Lucy smiled. “Don’t worry, it will work. Now let’s close the circle.” She led the women through the final song. As Lucy extinguished the first altar candle, Madeline thought about Lucy’s advice. Would art open her up more?

  You’re no good at art, her mother’s critical voice said. You didn’t like dance, you were hopeless at art classes, and piano bored you to tears.

  Madeline sighed and then she felt a flash of resentment. “That was then. It’s been over twenty years.”

  “Did you say something?” Maggie asked as she pulled off her robe. Madeline tugged at her own robe, trying to pull it over her head.

  “No, just talking to myself. Bad habit.”

  “Yeah, I do it too. It’s ’cause we live alone.”

  “I guess...” Madeline shrugged, not ready to admit her mother often chattered in her ear. Her imagination or a ghost? She didn’t know. How does one tell if one is insane? Is it evident or does one’s mind just go?

  “So what do you think?” Maggie asked.

  “About what?” Madeline said.

  “About Lucy’s suggestion? Are you going to go for it?”

  “Why not? I’m no good at any art stuff, but I’ll give it a shot.”

  “Yeah, why not?” Maggie said. “I don’t really do any artistic stuff either, but I do meditate.”

  “I try to meditate, but my mind always wanders.”

  “Everyone’s does at first. But then you learn how to clear away the clutter and open your third eye to the other planes,” Maggie said. “That’s when you can have some
pretty cool visions.”

  “Really?” Madeline asked.

  “I’ve had some doozies. And I see ghosts sometimes.”

  “I know. Do you they help you with your tarot readings?”

  “Not really. They just kind of come and hang out for a while, and then they disappear.”

  “Do they scare you? I have to admit, Maggie, sometimes I’m afraid of actually seeing a ghost. Not just shapes, but a real person. It would scare the shit out of me.”

  “Oh, I doubt that,” Natasha said as she joined the ladies. “You know a real vampire, don’t you?”

  “But that’s different. You’re not dead.”

  “Am I? Or am I not? I don’t even know anymore,” Natasha said as she handed her cloak back to one of the pretty young handmaidens.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Madeline said. “So what do you think I should choose?”

  “You are a painter. You see, holding a paintbrush will feel like holding a pen, but instead of words, you are drawing pictures.”

  “It sounds so glamorous when you put it like that.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  Once the women had returned the cloaks and were back in their street clothes, they all assembled in the dining room, where the table was laden with a large variety of foods. Cheeses, fruits, raw veggies, cold cuts and satays were all beckoning.

  As Madeline filled her plate, Ellie approached her. “We have to make your feng shui appointment soon. I got your chart from Gwen, and we need to do it in the next week.”

  “Right, the feng shui part of the thing.”

  “Yes, remember, the circle, Gwen’s horoscope and my feng shui create the Law of Attraction for Love.”

  “Oh goodness, I nearly forgot about that.”

  “You forgot already about the new year plan to get everyone hooked up?” Ellie asked.

  “I’m so absentminded sometimes. I remember now.”

  “Good, because I’m coming over. It’s your turn, and I want to see you hooking up.”

  “Well, my place is a mess. Papers everywhere,” Madeline warned.

  “Papers we can deal with quite easily. It’s always the other stuff that takes so long.”

  “Okay, call me tomorrow and we’ll set up a day.”

  Lucy entered the room with a large birthday cake. The ladies burst into the birthday song while Madeline stared at the 31 candles.

  She made a wish and blew them out. Everyone cheered and clapped.

  “Hope it was a good one,” Toni called out.

  “It was.” Madeline smiled. “You’ll see.”

  Chapter Eight

  When you learn a new skill, it opens up a new part of your mind.

  Madeline paused outside the door of the classroom. From inside came the noises of a close-knit group who obviously knew each other quite well as they organized their materials. Their laughter echoed into the hallway. Madeline stood, listening. She hadn’t been in a classroom in years. She wasn’t even sure when she had last been in a school other than giving lectures about paranormal activity.

  Adele rented out the room a few times a week for her evening art classes. Madeline had known about them for years but never thought she would actually be taking one.

  Her heart raced as she tried to summon up the courage to enter the room.

  Everyone already knew each other. She would be the person who was an intruder. She worried her art would be so horrible that everyone would laugh at her. Well, she knew they wouldn’t laugh at her, but they would likely nudge each other and whisper under their breath.

  She hoped she would do a good job.

  All she had to do was try her best, and maybe that would be good enough.

  You’re not so good at art, her mother said.

  “I don’t care. Lucy thinks I can do it.”

  Lucy, Lucy... what about Lucy...?

  Madeline sighed. Yes, what about Lucy? She always seemed to know what was best for everyone. And she thought Madeline should be doing an art class, so here she was. Madeline took a deep breath and turned the doorknob.

  When she entered the room, she looked around. Tables and easels were set up in a circle around the room. Adele’s easel and little table were at the front of the class. Madeline found a spot at one of the tables beside an easel.

  “Hi, I’m Madeline,” she said as she stuck out her hand to the woman beside her.

  “Judy,” the tall brunette said as she shook Madeline’s hand. The clatter of Judy’s many bracelets tinkled throughout the room, and Madeline realized she’d seen Judy a few times reading a crystal ball at the mall.

  “I know I’ve seen you around,” Judy said.

  “Quite likely,” Madeline replied. “I get around.” She looked at all the other students. “So what am I supposed to be doing?’

  “Don’t worry. You’ll get instructions soon enough.”

  “I hope so. This is all so new to me. I don’t even know if I can paint.”

  “Well, this is the aura class, so you only need to paint colors.”

  “I don’t even know if I can see auras,” Madeline sighed.

  “You’ll be fine. Adele is really nice. You’ll see.”

  Adele entered, and the room grew silent.

  “Good evening, everyone. It’s so nice to see so many people on such a stormy night.” There was light laughter as the howling wind rumbled along the roof.

  “Well, at least we’re not distracted by nice weather. This is a great time of year to really draw focus inside of ourselves. Instead of seeing the doom and gloom of dark winter skies as a foreboding omen, consider it as an opportunity to get to know yourself better.”

  Adele went to her easel and took out a charcoal pencil. Lightly she started to sketch as she spoke.

  “On the way here, I had a vision. It means nothing to me, but I think it might have to do with one of you.”

  Adele’s hand drew quickly as she chatted.

  “I was standing in front of this building. Not any building, but a huge building like a fortress, but more like a big rectangle. It was like a prison, but I don’t think it was. All stone. And waves of sadness ebbed from it. I don’t know what was sad, but maybe one of you might recognize this place.”

  Adele turned her sketch toward the class. The students all looked at it and one by one shook their heads. Madeline didn’t know if she recognized it or not, but it meant nothing to her, so she shook her head as well.

  “Okay. Maybe the sketch is meant for someone else. But I really felt it was related to this particular class for some reason.”

  Madeline studied the sketch from her seat. She thought it was odd Adele had drawn in a shadow of man in one of the many rows of windows.

  “Who’s the guy?” Madeline asked.

  “That...” Adele frowned. “I don’t know. It’s someone waiting.”

  “Waiting for what?”

  “Waiting to end his loneliness, I guess.” Adele shrugged. “I don’t know. My hands sometimes paint what I don’t see. It’s both a gift and a curse.”

  She put the sketch away.

  “Today we’re going to delve into aura painting a little more. I want you to use two types of brushes and only two types. Pick carefully and think about texture. You have one hour to paint the aura of the person to your left. Actually, I don’t think I want you to paint tonight. I want you to use pencil crayons.”

  Madeline frowned and put up her hand. “I don’t know how to see auras,” she said.

  “Oh, that’s right. We have a few new people here tonight. First, we’ll go through a meditation.”

  Everyone sat comfortably as Adele led them through a series of relaxation techniques and ended with a meditation about color.

  By the time Madeline opened her eyes, she felt rejuvenated and ready to paint anything.

  “Now look at the person you’re going to paint and try to see past them. Blur your eyes slightly and try to look past their shoulder and see if any colors spring out.”

  Madeline stared
but she couldn’t see anything.

  “Madeline, how are you doing?” Adele asked.

  “I still can’t see a thing. I feel really good after the meditation, but I still don’t get the paint-what-you-feel stuff. I mean, I do in theory. But I’m not sure how I go about doing it exactly.”

  “Well, maybe I can help you,” Adele said.

  “I hope so. I really want to get the hang of this.”

  “I’ll try to show you again by painting your aura. First, I look at you and blur my eyes. When I blur my eyes, I’m looking beyond you toward something light, or even white. You’ll notice the walls are painted white and large parts of them are bare. This is so my students can see their auras.”

  “I’ve accidently seen auras, I think. Sometimes there seem to be a lot of colors coming from people if I’m staring at them for a long time. Like when a teacher is talking or someone is giving a speech. I’ll find I’m drifting off, and suddenly a haze of colors wakes me up. Is that what you mean?”

  “You’re right. You’re likely seeing auras. Your mind is lulled into a trancelike state, and that enables you to relax enough to see more than you usually see.”

  “Half the time I think it’s just reflections from my glasses,” Madeline said, only half kidding.

  “Well, try it without your glasses and see what happens.”

  Adele led Madeline over to one of the white walls. She stood in front of it and had Madeline stand in front of her.

  “Relax and stare past my shoulders. Try to find that state you go to when you’re dozing off at a lecture.”

  Madeline chuckled. She stood in front of Adele, blurring her eyes. Within minutes, bright kaleidoscopes of pink and yellow burst from her shoulders. A grayish mist surrounded her neck and head. Down her body, the pink shimmered into orange.

  “I see it,” Madeline said joyfully.

  “Good. So describe it to me now.”

  “Okay. There’s pink and yellow and orange.”

  “Oh fantastic. I’m happy and horny I guess,” Adele joked.

  “There’s also some gray stuff weaving through all the colors. Almost like a different texture.”

  “Even better. You’re seeing the layers now. The gray is the grief I bury. Loneliness, depression and of course, that elusive-love thing.”