In the Heart's Shadow

by T. L. Haddix

  They’d embarked on a cruise around the world, and he’d used the time away from Leroy—and Stacy—to try and get a grasp on his wayward emotions. He’d discussed the dilemma with Sandra.

  “She’s so reserved in her personal interactions. If she was more outgoing, I’d probably have asked her out months ago. But she isn’t. She’s so good at her job, so confident. But then you put her in a social setting, and she closes down. I’m afraid she’ll reject me out of hand if I just ask her out.”

  Sandra had encouraged him to be certain of his interest before he approached Stacy. “She sounds like someone who’s probably been hurt a lot in her life, if I had to guess. It wouldn’t be fair to her if you start something only to find you can’t commit.”

  Gordon had agreed, and he’d tried to use his time away to make sure he was ready for commitment again. He hadn’t realized exactly how eager he was to see Stacy until he had crossed the bridge from Kentucky back into Leroy earlier in the week. He’d planned to call her as soon as he got his condo straightened out after having been gone for nearly three months.

  In the wake of Maxi’s catty remarks, he cursed himself for not having asked Stacy out sooner. Stunned, he stood and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair. His fist clenched around the fabric, and he stared into Maxi’s gloating face.

  “Where the hell do you get off saying something like that? What are you, twelve years old? You think you’re a ‘real woman’? You’re nothing but a cheap imitation of the woman who just walked out the door, and if you’re half as good as she is when you grow up, you’ll be lucky.”

  “You tell her, son,” an old man at a nearby table applauded. “I won’t be spending any more of my money here, not with trash like that serving the food.” He got up and walked out, and several other patrons clapped and murmured their support.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Gordon saw Maxi’s mother, Carla, come out from behind the counter, but he didn’t look at her. Instead, he spoke to Maria. “Where will she go?”

  “Try the park first, near the river,” she said. “I’ll handle things here.”

  With his heart pounding, he headed outside and down the sidewalk, searching for Stacy as he shrugged into his jacket. He finally spotted her, huddled at one of the picnic tables, and started toward her. Misery was evident in every line of her body. As he approached, he heard her say something about a snowball’s chance in hell.

  “What does? The Cubs winning the World Series? Nah, they’ll make it someday,” he said lightly as he sat beside her.

  Stacy looked away from him, surreptitiously trying to wipe her wet cheeks. Gordon’s loathing for the Cristos family grew as he dug through the pockets of his jacket, looking for something to give her to wipe her eyes. He came up with a very wrinkled tissue and handed it to her without speaking.

  “Thanks.”

  She didn’t say anything else, and Gordon didn’t push her to. Stacy sat with her legs curled up to her chest. Gordon leaned forward, bracing his arms on his legs. The weather was almost warm, with only a small bite in the wind that blew off the Ohio River. The mid-May weather was a little cooler than usual.

  “I’m sorry about all that,” Stacy finally murmured.

  Gordon glanced at her, but her gaze was focused on the river. “Don’t be. You’re not the one with an entirely unhealthy knowledge of her brother’s sex life. You have nothing to apologize for.”

  The sex-life remark startled her, and she gave a short bark of laughter, but the humor quickly faded. “Still. That was uncomfortable for everyone. I do apologize.” She finally turned her face in his direction, but didn’t meet his eyes. “If you want to cancel the barter, I understand.”

  Gordon wanted to go back into the deli and wring a certain scrawny neck, but he didn’t say that. Instead, he fought to keep his tone light. “Oh, you’re not getting off that easily. Do you know how hard it is to find a reliable study partner these days? Chase keeps threatening to take an ad out on Craigslist or send me to some perky law school student half my age. Please don’t do that to me. I’ll remodel whatever you need done. We don’t have to stop at the kitchen. I can do the bathroom, build a garage, whatever you want.”

  This time when she laughed, her smile lingered. She let out a breath that was almost too big for her petite frame, but some of the tension in the line of her shoulders eased.

  “Well, if it will save you from a law school prostitute serial killer, I guess we can go ahead as planned.”

  “Thank you!” He slumped back against the picnic table with relief that wasn’t entirely feigned and grinned at her. “So where do you want to start?”

  Stacy stretched out her legs and studied her shoes. “I’d planned on starting to tear things out this weekend. The dumpster will be delivered tomorrow afternoon. I’m off two weeks, starting Monday. You tell me what works for you.”

  Gordon glanced at his watch, and Stacy did the same. “What all do you have planned? Total remodel or what?”

  “Total remodel, down to the bare walls. The kitchen hasn’t been updated since the house was built in the fifties. You probably think it’s ridiculous for me to remodel the kitchen when I can’t cook,” she confessed, “but I’m tired of looking at linoleum that went out of style before I was born.”

  “I thought you were taking cooking lessons from Kathryn.”

  Color washed into her cheeks. “I am. But it’s slow going. Apparently, I’m not a natural. She has the patience of a saint.”

  Gordon laughed. “That’s what she said about you. She’s convinced that she can teach you to cook, but she’s every bit as convinced that she’s never going to get the whole nesting thing.”

  Stacy sent him a chagrined look. “Kathryn is a wonderful person, but she’s a little design challenged. I hate to say that, and please don’t tell her I did.”

  “She’d be the first to agree with you, but I’ll keep quiet.” He struggled to hide his amusement. He’d seen Kat with a paintbrush. “Design challenged” was a kind description. “So do you have a plan drawn up for the kitchen, or what?”

  “Of course I have a plan. I already have the cabinets. The counters and appliances are on order. The only thing left to decide is paint, light fixtures, and flooring, and I’m fairly certain I know what I want there.”

  “Then why don’t we do this,” he suggested as she looked at her watch again. “I’ll come over tomorrow evening, and you can show me what you have in mind. I’ll bring food, and we can lay out our game plan then, both for the remodel and the studying.”

  “If you’re sure you want to do this,” she hedged as she stood up.

  The uncertainty in her face tore at Gordon’s heart. He definitely should have asked her out back in February and hung the trip with Sandra. He stood, as well.

  “I’m sure. You may change your mind once you see the sample bar exam, though. Come on. I’ll walk you back to the courthouse.”

  Stacy groaned. “Do we have to? I have to be in court in an hour.”

  They made small talk as they walked, and Gordon lingered at the foot of the courthouse steps, not wanting to leave her. “What time tomorrow? Is six good?”

  “Sure. I’ll be leaving here early anyhow, to take delivery of the dumpster. Last chance to back out,” she warned. “I won’t have hard feelings if you do.”

  Exasperated, he reached out and tugged on one spiky lock of hair that had escaped her hair clip. “Would you let that go? I’ll bring sushi tomorrow if you don’t.”

  Her eyes flared with surprise. “You wouldn’t.”

  Gordon grinned. “Try me.”

  Hands on her hips, she was obviously struggling to hold her tongue. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

  “Good luck in court.”

  “Thanks.” With a small wave, she headed in the building.

  At a loss for what to do with himself, Gordon decided to walk over to Chase’s office. They hadn’t had much of a chance to talk since Gordon had gotten home because Chase was getting r
eady to leave for his ten-day honeymoon.

  “Hey, Nellia,” Gordon greeted Chase’s receptionist. “Is the boss in?”

  “I don’t know. He told me to toss rabble rousers out on the street when they came in,” she teased with a smile.

  “Then I guess I’d better run fast and far.”

  “Oh, go on with you. I hear you’ll be joining us here before too long. Congratulations, and welcome aboard.”

  “Thanks. I’m excited about the opportunity. I just hope I can pass the bar.”

  “I doubt very much that’s something you need to worry about,” she reassured him as Chase came out of his office.

  “Hey, thought I heard you out here. Come on back.”

  “You look like a man who’s excited about something,” Gordon teased as he sat down in one of the chairs at Chase’s desk. “I can’t imagine what that might be.”

  “Really? You’re worse off than I thought then, if you can’t remember what a man does with a beautiful woman when he gets her alone for several days. I might have to confiscate your man card.”

  Gordon crossed his legs, resting an ankle on his knee, and laced his fingers together over his belly. “I think I remember what to do, thank you very much. Remember who’s babysitting that crazy cat of yours during your honeymoon, Counselor. You’d better be nice to me, or you’ll end up taking Murphy along for the trip.”

  Chase leaned back in his chair. “No need to be mean now. So have you found a study partner yet?”

  “As a matter of fact, I have.”

  His friend tilted his head, alerted by the smugness in Gordon’s tone. “Really? Anyone I know?”

  “A certain female detective with our local sheriff’s department.”

  A grin spread across Chase’s face. “You’re kidding. You finally asked her out?”

  “Not exactly. We’re bartering. She needs some remodeling done, and I need a study partner. But I’m not ashamed to admit I’m going to use the opportunity to try and make myself utterly indispensable to her. It was Maria’s idea.”

  “Good for her. What about Stacy? Is she as excited as you are?”

  Gordon grimaced. “Not really. We all met at Christos’, and their daughter made some pretty nasty remarks to her right as she was starting to warm to the idea. I managed to talk Stacy into keeping the deal, but if the daughter had said what she did any earlier, I doubt I’d have ever gotten my foot in the front door.” He told Chase what Maxi had said.

  Chase frowned. “That’s low. Is Stacy okay?”

  “Not really, but she put her game face on. She doesn’t realize it yet, but if that’s the kind of guy Andre is, that he talks to his sister like that about the women he dates, disrespects them enough to share intimate details, then she had a lucky escape.”

  “Yeah, but the pain has to heal a little before she’ll see that.”

  “I know. So I’m going over to her house tomorrow evening to discuss things. Any chance I can swing by tonight and let you and Annie show me what I need to do?”

  “Sure. Plan on eating with us if you want. And like I told you, feel free to come spend the night Friday. That way, you don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn Saturday.”

  Gordon stood and stretched his arms over his head. “No. You’ve only been married since December. That puts you firmly in the newlywed stage still. I won’t infringe on that privacy. I’ll be there at six a.m. Saturday.”

  Chase laughed. “Okay. I appreciate you doing this, if I haven’t mentioned it a million times already.”

  “I’m glad to do it. You and Annie deserve to get out of town for a while, while you still can.”

  The couple had debated on taking their honeymoon right after getting married, but Annie had been in the middle of rebuilding her flower shop then.

  “Yeah, her busy season starts right after we get back. It was kind of one of those now-or-never things. Plus, we want to be here when Beth has the babies.” Chase stood, and they walked out to the reception area together. “Ethan’s really starting to freak out. She’s getting huge, and he’s terrified she’s going to have the boys earlier than the doctor said.”

  Gordon knew Chase was as concerned as his brother-in-law was. “Your sister is determined to carry those twins to term. If sheer willpower alone has any bearing on the matter, they’ll be fine. Her doctor’s still pleased with her progress, right?”

  Chase blew out a breath. “Yeah. And Mom and Dad are calm, too. Even Beth is. It’s the rest of us that are a nervous wreck. I’ll see you this evening. Any chance you can bring by one of those chocolate cakes from The Brown Bag?”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  As he walked to his car, Gordon thought about the life he was building here in Leroy. Chase and his family had embraced him, and their warmth had gone a long way toward anchoring him in the community. He’d almost given up on ever experiencing that feeling again. At the same time, being included was a little nerve-wracking. Being involved meant caring, and caring opened up a person to being hurt.

  CHAPTER 4

  STACY DIDN’T GET A CHANCE to talk to Maria again until after court let out for the day. Weary and restless, she headed across the courthouse compound. She ran into fellow detective Ethan Moore at the entrance to the department.

  “Hey, don’t tell me you’re getting out of here early,” Stacy teased.

  “Okay, I won’t tell you that. How’d court go?”

  “Pretty good, I think.” She briefly went over the proceedings. “I probably won’t have to go back in tomorrow.”

  “Good. You look tired. You okay?”

  Stacy crossed her arms. “Yeah. Haven’t been sleeping lately, though. I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’m looking forward to the next couple of weeks, getting out of here, getting the remodel done.”

  “I know some of the guys have been giving you a hard time lately. I’m sorry.”

  “Not your fault. Hopefully, an extended time away from them will let things die down.” Stacy had been the target of several practical jokes in the department, and they were wearing on her nerves. As much as she had tried, she hadn’t been able to figure out who the perpetrator or perpetrators were, and it was getting to her. “I’ll take my frustration out on my old kitchen.”

  “So you found a contractor then?”

  “Sort of. Gordon’s going to be helping me.”

  Ethan smiled. “Really? He’s back?”

  “Yes. Saw him today at lunch.”

  “Well, now that’s interesting. How’d that come about?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Maria. He needs a study partner, so we’re trading favors.” She realized how her words sounded as Ethan’s face lit up with a grin. “Go ahead, laugh.”

  “You do realize you’ll have to talk to the man if he’s working in your house every day, right? And cop shop talk won’t cut it.”

  Stacy flipped him a rude gesture, and he burst into laughter. “Go harass someone else, would you? I need to catch Maria before she leaves for the day.”

  Ethan held up his hands. “Okay. I’ll behave. We’ll have to have the two of you over for dinner some night, though. Beth will be very upset if you don’t come give her the scoop on your ‘study partner.’” When Stacy uncrossed her arms and moved toward him threateningly, he beat a hasty retreat. “I’ll have her call you about that, shall I? Can’t upset the pregnant lady.”

  He fled before Stacy could respond. As soon as she was sure he was out of earshot, her suppressed laughter escaped. Ethan was the closest thing to a brother Stacy’d ever had, and his teasing was balm on the wound Maxi had ripped open.

  Upstairs, she met Wyatt coming out of Maria’s office. From the searching look the sheriff gave her, Stacy figured Maria had told him at least part of what had happened, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he kept the conversation on business. “How was court?”

  Stacy filled him in. “I doubt I’ll have to even go back in tomorrow.”

  “Good. Come see me before you head out for vacatio
n.”

  “Will do.”

  He headed down the hall to his own office, and Stacy tapped on the doorframe of Maria’s office. “Hey, you busy?”

  “Not at all.” Maria was digging through a desk drawer, but straightened at Stacy’s knock. “Come on in and close the door. Are you okay?”

  “Yes. No. Heck, I don’t know.” Stacy sank into the chair in front of her friend’s desk. She sighed, rubbing her forehead with one hand. “I’m sorry about lunch.”

  “Seriously? You’re not going there,” Maria chided. “But I’ll tell you who is sorry. Maxi Cristos. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a grown woman get chewed out so well by her mother. Carla lit into her like you don’t even want to know. By the time she was done, I think Maxi was agreeing to scrub the toilets for six months to appease her.” She took a swallow of the drink she had on her desk. “I didn’t think things had gotten that serious between you and Andre.”

  “Depends on how you look at it, I guess. We went a little beyond kissing. And I couldn’t go any further. It was a disaster.”

  “A bit of an understatement, from the way Maxi was acting. Why didn’t you say something? You know you didn’t have to go through that alone.”

  Stacy laughed bitterly. “What was there to say? I’ve screwed up another relationship because I can’t stomach being touched? I couldn’t go there. Not again. Rehashing it wouldn’t have served any useful purpose.” She decided to lay her cards on the table.

  “Look, I know you’ve got a lot of hope riding on this thing with Gordon. That he’ll magically be different, and we’ll fall in love, have the picket fence, the whole nine yards. But I don’t think that’s going to happen. He’s going to end up being like all the rest of them. I’m too much trouble, too much of a hassle for too little return. Especially when there are so many women out there who don’t have my hang-ups.”

  “Stacy, that’s not fair—not to you and not to Gordon. He’s deeper than that. I’d place good money on it.”