by Cat Schield
With an effort, Liam brought his attention back to the report. Despite only spending four days on the job, the investigator had built a pretty clear picture of Maggie’s mom. Margaret Garner had worked at home as a freelance illustrator and had a pretty limited social life. She’d dated rarely, and her friends had husbands and children who kept them busy. So busy, in fact, that none of them had had a clue that Margaret was pregnant. Nor had there been any contact between her and Kyle after their weeklong affair. The investigator hadn’t been able to determine how the two had met, but after digging into Margaret’s financials, he’d figured out when the fling had happened.
Margaret’s perfectionism and heavy workload explained why she hadn’t gone out much, but a couple of her friends had known Margaret since college and confided that they thought Margaret might have had some depression issues. From what the investigator could determine, she’d never sought medical help for that or gone to see a doctor when she’d discovered she was pregnant.
“Well, that’s done,” Hadley announced, her voice heavy as she crossed the room and settled onto the couch beside him.
“How did it go with your parents?”
“They were surprised.” Her head dropped onto his shoulder. She’d been anxious about how the conversation would go all through dinner. Hadley was an only child and from her description of them, Liam got the impression they didn’t exactly approve of some of the choices she’d made in the last few years. Especially when she’d quit teaching and moved to Royal in order to get her master’s degree.
“What are you working on?”
“I had an investigator look into Margaret Garner’s background.”
“You hired an investigator? Why?” She peered more closely at the report on his computer screen.
“Nolan suggested it.”
“Who is Nolan?”
“Nolan Dane is a family law attorney I hired.”
“You hired a lawyer?”
Liam realized he probably should have shared his plans with her regarding Maggie before this, but hadn’t anticipated that she’d be surprised. “Because I’m seeking custody of Maggie.”
“Have you told your brother?”
“Kyle hasn’t responded to my messages about Maggie yet.”
Hadley sat up and turned on the cushions to face him. “Don’t you think you should talk to him before you make such a big decision regarding his daughter?”
“I think it’s obvious from the fact that it’s been three weeks and I haven’t heard from him that he’s not in a place where he can be a father. Either he’s overseas and unavailable or he’s choosing not to call me back. Whichever it is, Maggie deserves parents who can always be there for her.” He studied her expression with a hint of concern. “I thought you’d be on board with this. After all, you love Maggie as much as I do and have to admit we make terrific parents.”
Her brows came together. “I guess I thought we’d be great with kids someday. As soon as I accepted that Maggie was your brother’s daughter, I guess I thought she’d end up with him.”
“Are you trying to tell me you can’t see yourself as Maggie’s mother?”
“Not at all. I love her...” But it was obvious that Hadley was grappling with something.
“Then what’s going on?”
“I was just wondering how long you’d been thinking about this.” Her tone had an accusatory edge he didn’t understand.
“I’ve been considering what’s best for Maggie since Diane Garner left her on my doorstep.”
“And have you thought about what’s best for your brother?”
Liam struggled for patience in the face of her growing hostility. “I’m thinking about the fact that he’s a navy SEAL and likely to be called to duty at any time. He’s not married and lives on the East Coast, far from family. Who is going to take care of Maggie while he’s gone for weeks, maybe months at a time?” Liam met Hadley’s gaze and didn’t care for the indictment he glimpsed in her beautiful blue eyes. “I think Maggie would be better off here with us.”
“He’s not married.” She spoke deliberately as if determined to make a point. “So he’s not the best person to raise Maggie.”
“He’s a career military man with no family support,” Liam corrected her, unsure why she wasn’t agreeing with him. “How often will he miss a school event? How likely is it he’ll be around for her first steps, first words, first...everything.”
“You’re not married, either,” Hadley pointed out, her voice barely audible.
“But I’m engaged.”
“Is that why you proposed?”
“What do you mean?”
“Obviously a married couple would be a stronger candidate in a custody battle.”
“Sure.” Why deny it? She wasn’t a fool, and she knew him well enough to suspect he’d want to put forth the strongest case for Maggie.
However, the instant the admission was out, Hadley’s whole demeanor transformed. All trace of antagonism vanished. She sagged in defeat.
Liam rushed to defend his rationale. “I’d like to point out that I’ve never asked any woman to marry me before you,” he continued, more determined than ever to convince Hadley how much he needed her. “I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. With Maggie. As a family.”
“I am such an idiot.”
“I don’t understand.” He’d missed her jump in logic. “Why do you think you’re an idiot?”
“Because it’s just like Noah all over again.”
“Noah?” The guy who’d broken her heart? “That’s absurd. I asked you to marry me. He didn’t.”
“He said he wanted us to be together, too.” Hadley shot to her feet and backed away, but her eyes never left Liam. “Only what he wanted was someone to take care of his kids and his house. Someone to be there when he got home at the end of the day and in his bed at night.”
“You don’t seriously think I proposed to you simply because I wanted you to fill a role.” In order to keep Maggie slumbering peacefully, Liam kept his volume low, but made sure his outrage came through loud and clear.
“Everyone is right. It happened too fast.” Hadley covered her mouth with her fingertips as a single tear slid down her cheek.
The sight of it disturbed him. He was fast losing control of this situation and had no idea how to fix it. “Everyone? You mean your parents?”
“And my best friend, Kori. Not to mention the look on Candace’s face when she found out.”
“So what if our engagement happened fast?” Marrying Hadley meant both she and Maggie would stay with him at Wade Ranch. “That doesn’t mean my motives are anything like you’re painting them to be.”
She pulled off her engagement ring and extended it to him. “So if I give this back to you and say I want to wait until I’m done with school to discuss our future, you’d be okay with it.”
Liam made no move to take the ring back. Gripped by dismay, he stared at her, unable to believe that she was comparing him to some loser who’d used her shamelessly and broken her heart five years earlier.
“You’re overreacting.”
“Am I?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “When you proposed, you never told me you loved me.”
No, he hadn’t. He’d known he couldn’t live without her, but he’d been consumed with winning custody of Maggie and afraid that Hadley would receive a job offer in Houston that would cement her plans for the future. He hadn’t been thinking about romance or love when he’d proposed.
“That was wrong of me and I’m sorry. But I did tell you that I couldn’t imagine life without you.”
She shook her head. “You said you needed me in your life. That should’ve warned me that there was more motivating you than love.”
“What does it matter what motivated me when it al
l comes down to how much we want to be together and how committed we are to being a family?”
“I really want that,” she said, coming forward to set the engagement ring on the end table. “But I can’t be in a relationship with you and know that your reasons for being in it are based on something besides love.”
A lifetime of suppressed heartache at his mother’s abandonment kept Liam from speaking as Hadley reached past him and disengaged her cat from his snug nest. Waldo’s purring hadn’t ceased during their argument, and Liam felt a chill race across his skin at the loss of the cat’s warmth. It wasn’t until she began to leave the room that he realized his mistake.
“Don’t leave.” He pushed aside his laptop and pursued Hadley into the hallway. “Hadley, wait.”
She’d reached the entryway and slipped her coat off the hook. “I think it will be better if Waldo and I move back to my apartment. I’ll be back in the morning to take care of Maggie.” She didn’t point out that the new nanny was set to start work in four days, but Liam was all too aware that he was on the verge of losing her forever.
“Maybe you’re right and we moved too fast,” he said. “But don’t think for one second that I’ve changed my mind about wanting to spend the rest of my life with you.” He extended his hand to catch her arm and stop her from leaving, but she sidestepped him, the unresisting cat clutched to her chest.
“I think it would be better for both of us if we focused on our individual futures. I have to finish school. You have a custody case to win. Once things settle down we can reconnect and see how we feel.”
“If you think I’m going to agree to not see you for the next few months you’ve got it wrong.”
“Of course we’ll see each other.” But her words weren’t convincing. She set down the cat. Waldo stretched and wrapped himself around her legs while she donned her coat. Then, picking up her purse and the cat, Hadley opened the front door. “But I’m going to be crazy once classes start again, and you’ve got a couple hundred cattle set to give birth. Let’s give ourselves a couple weeks to see where we’re at.”
“You’re not going to be able to brush me off that easily,” he growled as she slipped through the front door and pulled it closed behind her, leaving him and Maggie alone in the enormous, echoing Victorian mansion.
Twelve
Hadley was still reeling from déjà vu as she let herself into her apartment and set Waldo on the floor. The silver tabby’s warmth had been a comfort as she’d sped through the early-evening darkness toward her tiny apartment.
How could she have been so stupid as to let herself get blinded by love a second time? So much for being five years older and wiser. She was obviously no less desperate; otherwise she wouldn’t have become Liam’s convenient solution the way she’d been Noah’s. Honestly, what had happened to her common sense?
With her emotions a chaotic mess, Hadley looked for something in her apartment to occupy her, but after straightening a few pillows, dusting and running the vacuum, she ran out of tasks. While water boiled for a cup of tea, she wished her classes had resumed. At least then she’d have a paper to write or a test to study for. Something to occupy her thoughts and keep her mind off Liam.
She could call Kori and pour her heart out. Hadley rejected the idea as soon as it occurred to her. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone that she’d screwed up again. The injury to her pride was still too fresh. Not to mention the damage to her confidence. As for the pain in her heart, Hadley could scarcely breathe as she considered all she’d lost tonight. Not just Liam, but Maggie as well.
Would it have been so bad to marry Liam and become Maggie’s mom? The whole time she’d been falling in love with Liam, she’d thought he and Maggie were a package deal. And then came their trip to Colorado. When she’d decided to believe him about his brother being Maggie’s dad, letting her heart lead for a change hadn’t felt one bit scary. She’d assumed Kyle would eventually come to Wade Ranch and take responsibility for Maggie. It never occurred to her that Liam intended to fight his brother for custody and that he might propose in order to appear to be the better candidate.
Desperate for a distraction from her turbulent thoughts, Hadley carried the hot tea to her small desk and turned on the computer. Before she’d considered her actions, she cued up the internet and impulsively ventured on to a popular social media site. Her fingers tapped out Noah’s name and she pushed Enter before she could change her mind.
In seconds his page appeared and her heart gave a little jump as she stared at the photo of him and his kids that he used as his profile picture. Five years had gone by. Peter and Nikki were eight and seven now. They looked happy in their father’s arms. Noah’s wife wasn’t in the shot, and Hadley searched through some of his other photos to see if she showed up anywhere. There were pictures of her with both kids, but none of her with Noah. Were they still married? Nothing in his profile information gave her a clue.
Feeling more than a little stalkerish, Hadley searched for Anna, but found no sign of her onetime friend. She almost left the website, inclined to switch to something with less potential for heartache, when she decided to search for Anna’s sister, Char. And there she found Anna. Only she wasn’t Anna Johnson any more. She was Anna Bradley now. A happily married woman with two beautiful girls.
Hadley stared at the photos in numb disbelief. This is the woman she’d been feeling guilty about for ten years? Anna hadn’t wallowed in her misfortune. She hadn’t sat around letting life pass her by. She’d gone to college in Dallas, become an engineer, gotten married and was busy raising a two-and a four-year-old.
It was as if the universe had reached out a hand and smacked Hadley on the back of the head and yelled, snap out of it. Noah had moved forward with his life. He had his kids and seemed to be in a good place with his wife or ex-wife. Anna was thriving with a career and family. Apparently Hadley was the only one stuck in limbo.
With revelations pouring over her like ice water, Hadley shut down the computer and picked up a notebook and a pen. It was time for her to stop dwelling on what had happened in the past and to consider how she envisioned her future. What was her idea of a perfect career? Where did she want to live? Was the love in her heart strong enough to overcome her doubts and fears?
* * *
Liam entered the pediatrician’s office and spotted Hadley seated by the wall, Maggie’s carrier on the chair beside her. Overnight the baby’s temperature had risen, and the concern radiating from Hadley caused a spike in his anxiety.
“How is she?” he asked as he sat beside Maggie and peered in her carrier.
“A little bit worse than she was when I arrived this morning. She wouldn’t eat and seems listless. I’m glad we had this appointment scheduled today.”
Hadley was obviously distraught, and Liam badly wanted to offer her the comfort of his embrace, but yesterday she hadn’t believed him when he’d told her there was more to his proposal than his determination to seek custody of Maggie. What made him think that a miracle had occurred overnight to change her mind?
“Do you think the jaundice is causing this?”
“More likely the jaundice is a symptom of something more serious.”
“Damn it.” The curse vibrated in his chest as anxiety flared. He stared down at the sleeping baby. “I can’t lose her.”
“Liam, you’re not going to lose her.” Hadley reached across Maggie’s carrier and set her fingers on his upper arm.
The light contact burned through him like a wildfire, igniting his hope for a future with her. She loved him. The proof was in her supportive tone and her desire to reassure him. But as he reached to cover her hand with his, she withdrew. When she spoke again, her voice had a professional crispness.
“She’s going to be fine.”
He hated the distance between them. He’d been wrong to propose to her as part of a schem
e to win custody of Maggie. Even though it hadn’t been his only reason for asking her to marry him, she’d been right to feel as if he’d treated her no better than Noah.
But how could he convince her to give him another chance when she’d rejected everything he’d already said and done? As with the subject of Maggie’s paternity, she was either going to believe him or she wasn’t. She’d been burned before, and her lack of trust demonstrated that she hadn’t yet moved on. He’d have to be patient and persistent. Two things he was known for when it came to horses, but not in his personal life.
“Hadley, about what happened last night—”
A nurse appeared in the waiting room and called Maggie’s name before Hadley could respond. Liam ground his teeth as he and Hadley followed the nurse into an exam room. He refocused his attention on Maggie as the nurse weighed and measured her. After it was determined that her temperature had climbed to 102, the nurse left to fetch Dr. Stringer.
Liam’s tension ratcheted upward during the wait. Hadley sat beside him with Maggie cradled in her arms. She’d fixed her gaze on the door to the hall as if she could summon the doctor by sheer will.
After a wait that felt like hours but was less than ten minutes, Maggie’s doctor appeared. Dr. Stringer made a quick but thorough examination of his patient, returned her to Hadley’s arms and sat down, his expression solemn.
“I’m concerned that she’s running a temperature and that the jaundice hasn’t gone away after the phototherapy treatments,” Dr. Stringer said. “I’d like to draw blood and recheck her bilirubin levels. If they continue to remain high we may want to look at the possibility of doing a blood transfusion.”
Liam felt rather than heard Hadley’s sharp intake of breath. She had leaned her shoulder against his as the doctor had spoken. The seriousness of Maggie’s medical condition was a weight Liam was glad not to have to bear alone.
