by Cat Schield
“Maggie is a rare blood type,” Liam said. “AB negative. Is that going to pose a problem finding donors?”
The doctor shook his head. “Not at all. In fact, where O is the universal donor blood type, AB is the universal recipient. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m going to have the nurse draw some blood and then we’ll see where we’re at.”
Maggie’s reaction to the blood draw was not as vigorous as Liam expected it to be, and he took that as a sign that she was even sicker than she appeared. This time as they sat alone in the exam room, Liam reached for Hadley’s hand. Her fingers were ice cold, but they curved to hold fast to his.
Their second wait was longer, but no less silent. Liam’s heart thumped impatiently, spreading unease through every vein. Beside him, Hadley, locked in her own battle with worry, gripped his hand and stared down at Maggie. Both of them had run out of reassuring things to say.
The door opened again and Dr. Stringer entered. “Looks like it’s not her bilirubin levels that are causing the problem,” he said, nothing about his manner suggesting this was good news.
“Then what’s going on?” Liam asked.
“We’re seeing a high level of white blood cells that points to infection. Because of the jaundice and the fact that she’s a preemie, I’d like you to take Maggie to the hospital for further testing. I’ve already contacted my partner, Dr. Davison. He’s on call at the hospital today and will be waiting for you.”
“The hospital?” Hadley sounded stunned. “It’s that serious?”
“At this point we don’t know, but I would rather err on the side of caution.”
Liam nodded. “Then we’ll head right over.”
* * *
Hadley sat in the passenger side of Liam’s Range Rover as he drove to the hospital and silently berated herself for being a terrible caregiver.
“This isn’t your fault,” Liam said, demonstrating an uncanny knack for knowing what she was thinking.
“You don’t know that.”
“She only just recently started showing signs of an infection.”
“But we don’t know how long this has been brewing. You heard the doctor. He said it could have been coming on slowly for a long time. What if she was sick before we went to Colorado and then we walked to town and back? Maybe that’s when things started.”
“We can’t know for sure and you’ll make yourself crazy if you keep guessing.”
“I should never have...” She trailed off, biting her lip to stifle the rest of the sentence.
“Should never have what?” Liam demanded, taking his eyes off the road to glance her way.
She answered in a rush. “Slept with you.”
“Why? Because by doing that you stopped being a good nanny?” He snorted derisively.
Hadley shifted away from his irritation and leaned her head against the cool window. “Maggie was my responsibility. I got distracted.”
“She’s my responsibility, too,” he reminded her. “I’m just as much at fault if something happens to her. You know, one of these days you should stop blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong.”
With a shock, Hadley realized that Liam was right. She’d taken responsibility for other people’s decisions, believing if she’d been a better friend, Anna wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and if she’d been more affectionate with Noah or acted more like a parent to his children instead of their nanny, he might not have gone back to his ex-wife.
“It’s a habit I should break,” she said, her annoyance diminished. “It’s really not anyone’s fault she’s sick. Like the doctor said, her birth wasn’t routine. The infection could have been caused by any number of things.”
Neither spoke again, but the silence was no longer charged by antagonism. Hadley cast several glances in Liam’s direction, wishing she hadn’t overreacted last night after finding out Liam intended to seek custody of Maggie. But she’d gone home and filled two sheets of paper with a list of everything that made her happy. It had taken her half a page before she’d begun to break free of the mental patterns she’d fallen into. But it was the last two items that told the real story.
Horses.
Liam.
That it had taken her so long to admit what she needed in her life to be truly happy was telling.
Liam dropped her and Maggie off at the emergency entrance and went to park. Hadley checked in at reception and was directed to the waiting room. She was told someone would come down from pediatrics to get them soon.
To Hadley’s relief they only had to wait ten minutes. Liam never even had a chance to sit down before they were on their way to a private room in Royal Memorial’s brand-new west wing.
A nurse entered the room while Hadley lifted Maggie from her carrier. “Hello, my name is Agnes and I’ll be taking care of Maggie while she’s here.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Hadley followed Agnes’s directions and placed Maggie in the bassinet. It was hard to step away from the baby and let the nurse take over, but Hadley forced herself to join Liam by the window.
Liam gave her a tight smile. “She’s in good hands.”
“I know.” Hadley was consumed by the need for Liam’s arms around her. But she’d relinquished all rights to his reassurances last night when she’d given back his engagement ring.
The nurse took Maggie’s vitals and hooked her up to an IV.
“Because she’s not yet four weeks,” Agnes began, “we’re going to start her on antibiotics right away. It may take twenty-four to forty-eight hours to get the lab results back, so we’d like to take this precaution. The good news is that it hasn’t seemed to affect her lungs. That’s always a concern with a premature baby.” Agnes offered a reassuring smile before continuing. “Dr. Davison will be by in a little while to talk to you.”
“Thank you,” Liam said while Hadley crossed to Maggie.
“She looks even tinier hooked up to the IV.”
Liam came to stand beside her and stared down at Maggie. A muscle jumped in his jaw. His eyes had developed a haunted look. Suddenly it was Hadley’s turn to offer comfort.
“She’s going to be fine.”
“Thank you for being here,” he said. “It’s...”
She’d never know what he intended to say because a man in a white lab coat entered the room with Agnes at his heels.
“Good morning, I’m Dr. Davison. I’ve spoken with Dr. Stringer and he filled me in on what’s been going on. I’m sure you’re anxious to hear about the tests we ran on Maggie,” The doctor met each of their gazes in turn before shifting his attention to the infant. “What we’re looking at is a blood infection. That’s what’s causing the fever, her jaundice and her listlessness.”
A knot formed in Hadley’s chest. She gripped Liam’s forearm for stability. “Is it serious?”
“It can be. But Maggie is in good hands with us here at Royal Memorial. I’m sure she’ll make a full recovery. The sooner she gets treatment the better the outcome. We’ve already started her on antibiotics, and we’re going to monitor her for the next couple days while we run a battery of tests to determine what’s causing the infection.”
“How long will she be here?” Liam gave Hadley’s fingers a gentle squeeze.
“Probably not more than three days. If there’s bacteria in her blood, she’ll be on antibiotics for three weeks and you’ll be bringing her in for periodic checkups.”
“Thank you, Dr. Davison.” Liam extended his hand to the pediatrician and appeared less overwhelmed than he had before the doctor’s arrival.
“Yes, thank you.” Hadley summoned a smile.
Dr. Davison turned to the nurse. “Agnes, would you prepare Maggie for a lumbar puncture?”
“Certainly, Dr. Davison.” She smiled at Liam and Hadley. “We have some paperwor
k at the nurses’ station for you to fill out,” she said. “We’ll need just a few minutes for the spinal tap and then you can come back and be with Maggie.”
Hadley tensed, intending to resist being evicted for the procedure, but then she remembered that she was the nanny, nothing more. She’d given up her rights when she’d given Liam back his ring.
When they stepped into the hallway, Hadley turned to Liam. “I should go.”
“Go?” he echoed, his expression blank, eyes unfocused. “Go where?”
“I don’t really belong here.” As much as that was true in a practical sense, she couldn’t shake a feeling of responsibility to Maggie and to him.
Foolishness. If anyone besides Liam had hired her, she wouldn’t have let herself get personally involved. She’d never slept with any of her other clients, either. Even with Noah she hadn’t stepped across that line. They’d been close, but something about sleeping with him with his children down the hall hadn’t sat well with her. And right before the weekend they were supposed to go away and be together for the first time was when Noah decided to go back to his ex-wife.
“Maggie needs you,” Liam countered. “You can’t leave her now.”
“I’m her nanny.” It hurt to admit it, but Hadley knew that after what had happened between her and Liam, she needed to start pulling back. “What she needs is her family. Why don’t you call her grandmother?”
“You mean the woman who left her with me and hasn’t demonstrated any grandmotherly concern since?”
Hadley was torn. Her presence wasn’t needed while Maggie was at the hospital. The nurses would see to it that the baby was well tended. Liam could give her all the love and snuggling she required.
“I’m sorry that Maggie’s mother died and her grandmother is so far away, but I can’t be here for you and for her in this way. She’s in good hands with the nurses and with you. I’ve already gotten too involved. I can’t keep pretending like nothing has changed.” Hadley turned in the direction of the elevator so Liam wouldn’t see her tears.
He caught her arm before she could take a step. “I’m sorry, too,” he murmured in her ear, his breath warm against her temple. “I never meant for any of this to hurt you.”
And then he set her free. Gutted and empty, she walked away without glancing back.
* * *
Liam sat on the couch in Maggie’s hospital room. A nurse had appeared half an hour ago to take Maggie’s temperature and change her diaper. When she’d completed her tasks, she’d dimmed the lights and left Liam in semidarkness. It was a little past six. He’d skipped both lunch and dinner but couldn’t bring himself to leave the room. He felt empty, but it wasn’t because he was hungry. The hollowness was centralized in his chest. Loneliness engulfed him unlike anything he’d known before.
He hadn’t felt this lost when Kyle left for the navy or when his grandfather had died. The ranch had provided abundant distractions to occupy him, and he’d thrown himself into building the business. That wasn’t going to work this time.
He rarely felt sorry for himself, but in the eight hours since Hadley had taken off, he’d begun to realize the wrong turn his life had taken. The arrival of Maggie and Hadley had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. Acting as Maggie’s caretaker had taught him the true meaning of the word responsibility. Up until now, he’d had people who did things for him. Staff, his grandfather, even the women he dated. While he didn’t think of himself as selfish, he’d never had to put anyone’s needs above his own.
But even as he’d patted himself on the back for championing Maggie’s welfare, hadn’t he ignored his brother’s needs when he’d decided to seek custody of his niece? And Hadley’s? How had he believed that being married to him was any sort of reward for her love and the sacrifice to her career that staying in Royal would require?
He’d played it safe, offered her an expensive ring and explained that he needed her and wanted her in his life. But he’d never once told her he was madly, passionately in love with her and that if she didn’t marry him, he’d be heartbroken. Of course she’d felt underappreciated.
Liam thought about the nightmare he’d had after returning from Colorado. Sleeping alone for the first time in three nights had dragged powerful emotions from his subconscious. He could still recall the sharp pain in his chest left over by the dream, a child’s hysterical panic as he’d chased his mother out of the house, pleading with her not to go.
By the time he’d awakened the next morning, there’d been nothing left of the disturbing dream but a lingering sense of uneasiness. He’d shoved the genie back into the bottle. Craving love only to have it denied him was not something he ever wanted to experience again. And so he’d only shown Hadley physical desire and made a superficial commitment without risking his heart.
She’d been right to leave him. He’d pushed her to ride again, knowing how devastated she’d been by her friend’s accident. He’d badgered her to forgive herself for mistakes she’d made in the past without truly understanding how difficult that was for her. But worst of all, he’d taken her love and given nothing back.
Liam reached into his pocket and drew out the engagement ring. The diamonds winked in the dim artificial light. How many of his former girlfriends would have given it back? Probably none. But they would’ve been more interested in the expensive jewelry than the man who gifted it. Which explained why he’d chosen them in the first place. With women who wanted nothing more from him than pretty things and a good time, he never had to give of himself.
What an idiot he’d been. He’d stopped dating so his head would be clear when the right girl came along. And when she had, he’d thought to impress her with a trip to Vail and a big engagement ring. But Hadley was smart as well as stubborn. She was going to hold out for what really mattered: a man who loved her with all his heart and convinced her with words as well as deeds just how important she was to him.
Up until now, he hadn’t been that man. And he’d lost her. But while she remained in Royal, he had a chance to show her how he truly felt. And that’s exactly what he was going to do.
Thirteen
After abandoning Liam and Maggie at the hospital, Hadley took a cab home and spent the rest of the day on the couch watching a reality TV marathon. The ridiculous drama of overindulged, pampered women was a poor distraction from the guilt clawing at her for leaving Liam alone to cope with Maggie. Worry ate at her and she chided herself for not staying, but offering Liam comfort was a slippery slope. Already her emotions were far too invested.
At seven she sent Kori a text about getting a ride to Wade Ranch in the morning to pick up her car. She probably should have gone tonight, but felt too lethargic and even had a hard time getting off the couch to answer the door for the pizza delivery guy.
It took her friend an hour to respond to the text. Hadley forgot she hadn’t told Kori yet about her broken engagement. Leave it to her to have the world’s shortest engagement. It hadn’t even lasted three days. With a resigned sigh, Hadley dialed Kori’s number.
“So, what’s going on that you left your car at Liam’s?”
Kori’s question unleashed the floodgates. Hadley began to sob. She rambled incoherently about Maggie being in the hospital and how she’d turned her back on Liam right when he needed her the most.
“I’m coming over.”
“No. It’s okay.” Hadley blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m fine.”
“You are so not fine. Why didn’t you tell me about this last night?”
“Because I wasn’t ready to admit that I’d screwed up and fallen in love with the wrong man again. Honestly, why do I keep doing this to myself?”
“You didn’t know he was the wrong guy until too late.”
“It’s because I jump in too fast. I get all caught up in his life and fall in love with the idea of be
ing a family.”
“I thought you said Liam hadn’t told you that he planned to fight for custody of Maggie.”
“Well...no.”
“Then technically, you weren’t planning on being a family with Liam and Maggie, but a couple with Liam.”
“And eventually a family.”
“Since eventually is in the future, I don’t think that counts.” Kori’s voice was gentle but firm. “You love Liam. You told me you had a crush on him when you were a teenager. Isn’t it possible that what you feel for him has nothing to do with seeing yourself as part of a family and everything to do with the fact that you’re in love with him?”
“Sure.” Did that make things better or worse? “But what about the fact that he asked me to marry him because he thought he would have a better chance to get custody if he was engaged?”
“I’m not really sure it’s that straightforward,” Kori said. “Liam Wade is a major catch. He’s probably got dozens of women on speed dial that he’s known a lot longer than you. Don’t you wonder why he didn’t ask one of them to marry him? I think he fell for you and is too afraid to admit it.”
As tempting as it was to believe her friend’s interpretation, Hadley knew it would just lead to more heartache. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life wondering what if.
Kori’s sigh filled Hadley’s ear. “I can tell from your silence that you don’t agree. I’m sorry all this happened. You are such a wonderful person. You deserve the best guy in the world.”
“And he’s out there somewhere,” Hadley said with what she hoped was a convincing amount of enthusiasm.
“What time do you want me to come get you tomorrow?”
“It doesn’t matter.” She figured Liam would stay at the hospital with Maggie until she was ready to go home, and that would give Hadley a chance to collect her things from the house without the risk of running into him.
“I’m meeting a client at eight. We can either go before or after.”
