by Fiona Murphy
As I make my way down the hall, I see the door to Ethan’s office is closed. Which is rare, so I’m wondering how long he will take. I’m starving and decide to do a quick dinner of grilled chicken and broccoli with cheese. It doesn’t take long to cook. When I’m done, there’s still no sign of Ethan, so I take my tablet with me to the dinner table to look over my options for school. I long ago outlawed electronics when we were eating, which had made Ethan laugh, then agree when he saw I was serious.
I’m almost done with dinner when Ethan opens the door to his office. Caught, I drop the tablet with a bang. He laughs when he sees me.
“Didn’t wait for me and I find you with your tablet at dinner?”
Crap, why am I blushing? “I’m doing what you ordered, trying to pick a school.”
“Ah, good girl.” Sitting down, he picks up my tablet. “Let me see. Sweetheart, what are you doing looking at this school? It’s a for-profit school. This place isn’t for you. Why aren’t looking at Penn State? They have a great accounting program firms would come to campus for job fairs every year. Look at the feedback on the online program.”
“Yes, maybe, but Penn State is twice a credit hour what the for-profit school is. The for-profit school isn’t that bad. I can still get a job with it. But Penn State is all my eggs in the one basket.”
Shaking his head as he looks at the tablet. “In that case, I’ll pay for it.”
“No.” The response is immediate, a knee jerk reaction.
“What?” He’s shocked at my refusal. I fight my annoyance.
“I said, no. You aren’t paying for my school. You’re already paying for my insurance, you aren’t paying for school.”
“Why the fuck not? I have plenty of money. The last I checked I can use it anyway I want.”
After everything that’s happened today, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. However, I know he won’t let it go. “I don’t think it’s right.”
“Talk to me, Holly.” When I don’t, he catches my chin bringing my eyes up to his.
“I’m not trying to have one of those conversations, but it’s only been two months. Your past relationships haven’t lasted past two weeks. These last few months have been sort of amazing, only, who knows how long it will last? Besides, I hate the way you throw your money around. I’m not with you because you’re the biggest rainmaker and top-shit lawyer of Chicago.” My chest is tight. I’m terrified this is too much too soon.
He’s quiet for a long time before he leans over to kiss me lightly. His fingers slide down my throat. “I can’t deny the truth about my past. All I know, what I want you to know, is I don’t want to imagine my future without you.”
Holy fucking shit. The truth is there in his eyes. I struggle to breath. I long to take back everything I said. I know he’s fighting back his emotions. I hate the way he looks like he’s in pain. For a moment, I wish I’d kept my big mouth shut, but Ethan can be relentless. I’m not dumb, I know how hard it was to say what he did. My hand on his cheek, I smooth a finger over his pursed lips. I long to tell him how I really feel but don’t dare. Instead, I swallow the words and simply whisper, “Ditto.” As I press my lips against his.
A soft laugh. “So, why exactly are you with me?”
Desperate to pull back from the seriousness of the past few minutes I force a smile. “Well, duh, your big cock and big mouth and the way you know how to use both.”
“Can I please pay your tuition for school?” He kisses me lightly.
“If it makes you happy.” Like I was ever going to get my way with him.
“It would.”
“Okay, now you have to make me happy. I’m thinking we got out of bed too soon.”
Ethan carries me into our bedroom, placing me in the middle of the bed. He pulls off his shirt, and I move to sit up to take off my own. With a shake of his head, he stops me. I lie back down, content to watch his beautiful body revealed to me. Not for the first time I marvel at the perfection of him. His broad chest muscled with a light dusting of hair that didn’t obscure the definition I love to run my hands over his tattoos. Hair trailed away over a stomach without an inch of fat, in the kind of six-pack I’ve only seen on models. I shiver at the sight of his proud cock jutting up hard, thick, and long. Every time I even think of him, my pussy clenches with longing over the amount of pleasure his cock gives me each time he enters me. I’m still shocked at just how much I enjoy the anal sex I had wanted, yet feared, with him so big. My every orgasm had an intensity that went from the normal boneless feeling into complete oblivion.
It’s been almost two weeks since the last time, instantly I crave it. “Ethan...”
He goes still as he is about to move onto the bed. “What, sweetheart? Tell me what you need.”
“I need you to use the lube, please.”
“Whatever you want, sweetheart.” He knows what I’m asking for, and his eyes darken. Opening the drawer, he pulls out the lube then lays it on his pillow next to me.
Coming down over me his mouth captures mine in a kiss that isn’t just a kiss. It’s a hungry, deep, taking of every breath within me and giving back to me the essence of him. Stinging tears battle to break free at the awe overcoming me, only I don’t dare allow them to fall. Eyes clenched tight, I give in utterly, feeling as though I’ve stepped to the edge of the world and am falling into his arms. When he tears his mouth away, even as I’m gasping for air, the loss of him brings pain, sharp and blinding. I reach for him, needing to touch him. Nuzzling my neck, he whispers my name in an exhalation reminiscent of a prayer. Lost in tumultuous waves of emotion that threaten to overtake me, I’m pulled to safety by his hand cupping me through my jeans and thong.
“Mine.” It’s no question.
“Yes.” I whisper.
Mouth wide, he covers my breast, sucking hard, burning me through the shirt and bra. Ending with a tug of the hard nipple through his teeth. “Mine.”
“Only you.”
With one hand he pulls my shirt off me. His mouth is on my breasts through the silk of my bra, delivering sweet torture. Endlessly he suckles deeply, ending with the painful pleasure of his teeth nipping lightly. He takes me to the point of tears before he even removes my bra, the cool air soothes my heated skin. Ethan isn’t done. He begins all over again, causing fresh tears, and me to beg for him to take me. My hands go into his hair, trying to pull him up to me. Ignoring my pleas, he takes his time, bringing me to the edge of pain, before soothing me with gentle licks of his tongue.
At last, he moves down my body with light teasing kisses and nips. I open my legs wide, begging for his mouth. I’m going to spontaneously combust. I wonder if he’s trying to kill me. Never has his tongue run so languorously, so teasingly over me. He doesn’t play fair as he captures my hips in a fierce hold to contain the frantic movements I can’t control. Finally, he deepens his possession until I’m close—so close I can barely breathe. Then he blows lightly on my clit, but his tongue never touches me. He presses a kiss onto my mound before slowly beginning all over again. I scream from his cruelty, my hands turning to claws at his neck. Nothing, not a murmur of soothing words or change of his tongue tracing over my heated skin.
Every muscle in me is unbearably tense, aching for the release so close before he pulled back. Then, in an instant, my entire body sighs going boneless, unable to move, giving up completely to Ethan’s will. The pushing of two thick fingers inside me, as his tongue covers my clit and he sucks deeply, rewards me, as he fucks into me relentlessly. It feels like only seconds, yet I know it’s longer, before I crash hard into an orgasm. I cry out in surprise from the edge of pain it causes as my body clenches painfully before collapsing in release.
I’m floating, the world hazy around me. Ethan’s arm comes around me, his hard body pressing into my back. His hands roam over my body, at turns lightly then roughly. He knows every inch of me, knows my every weakness and he shows me. The mewling cries are coming from deep within me. Ethan answers them, fingers coate
d in silky warm lube slip inside me. Caressing, teasing, he prepares me until I whimper his name. Moving behind me, his cock pushes into me with a single slow stroke, not stopping until we are skin to skin. This moment is always most precious to me. When he is deep inside me, then stops, allowing my body to adjust to him, every inch of him burning into my skin, branding me as his alone.
Ethan begins moving, erasing all thought, leaving only feeling. Thick, hot, and throbbing with his heartbeat, he plunges deeper into me and every stroke sends me into the stars higher and higher... where I explode beyond them into a complete absence of light. The molten essence of Ethan filling me sends white heat along my spine, pushing me into complete oblivion.
* * *
When the alarm goes off in the morning, Ethan rolls over to stop the beeping then takes me back into his arms. We both fall asleep again, unable, and unwilling to move. Ethan’s alarm wakes us again, he carries us to the shower where he washes me with care and numerous kisses. Picking me up, he takes me slowly, sleepily, against the wall. Holding me long after we both catch our breath, giving me time to hold myself up. As he usually does, he dries me with strong gentle strokes.
One last kiss, and he’s gone to get dressed. I wrap the towel around me and make my way to my own closet. Still in a warm sleepy haze, I slide on a pair of lacy panties then find a long loose sundress, not in the mood for a bra. I walk down the hall to find Ethan in his office. Hearing me he looks up, his smile is wide, open, and happy.
“Come here, sweetheart.”
I go happily. He pulls me onto his lap. When he does, I see the time and I’m shocked to see it’s almost nine o’clock. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I nuzzle into him. “I’m sorry you’re late.”
“No, you aren’t.” He chuckles softly.
“No, I’m not.” I agree.
His arms tighten around me, and he sighs. “I hate to, but I have to go in. My client from last night has gotten himself into a tight corner he needs me to get him out of.”
“Hmm... have you ever taken more than just Sunday off?”
“The year after I made partner I took an entire week off. Went to Monaco, got sun burned, and haven’t done it again since. You miss me, sweetheart?”
I nod. “I never thought I’d say it.”
“Noted. Kiss me goodbye.” His mouth takes mine in a drugging, thorough kiss. Standing he sets me down on his desk. “I’ll call you this afternoon. I might need to work late. I’m not sure, yet.”
Swallowing my disappointment, I only kiss his cheek in response. Not trusting myself to open my mouth. He walks away and I hear the front door close behind him.
Well, fuck, how long was I going to make it before I slipped up and told him I loved him?
* * *
Ethan calls late in the afternoon to let me know he’s going to be late and not to wait dinner for him. I sleep walk through the day, my mind twisting over yesterday, wondering what it all meant. It meant something, didn’t it? In the moment, it felt like it meant everything, but with so little spoken... now I’m doubting it all.
The knock at the door pulls me from my misery. Checking, I see Amelia and cringe. I had texted I was too behind to have lunch today. “Hi, sorry about this afternoon. We had a late start today and my entire day was off schedule.”
“I heard. The whole office was talking about it. Between Ethan leaving early yesterday and coming in late today, the associates are all aflutter wondering if he’s thinking of leaving or if he’s having a mid-life crisis. The money is on him leaving, no one believes Ethan would do anything as mundane as have a mid-life crisis. My lips are sealed. What’s the matter? Instead of looking like the cat that got the canary, you look awful.”
I manage a chuckle as I plop on the sofa, leave it to Amelia. “I don’t know... now that I’m trying to think of how to say it out loud, I realize my expectations are way too high for Ethan. It’s just that yesterday, we, I don’t know. He talked about Brittany and what happened. It felt like we were closer. I was sure by the end of the night or even this morning he would say it. Except he didn’t, though there’s a definite shift with us. I’m sure of that.”
“Oh, Holly. Yes, your expectations are too high. Ethan is in love with you, but him realizing it then actually admitting it aren’t going to come quick and easy.” My eyes go big and she snorts. “Come on! Why do you think I got all freaked out? Ethan Bishop committing to a relationship with one woman? I knew the minute he said yes it was all over. He cared enough about you to try and keep away from you, because getting involved with him was bad for you and he knew it. For him to give in, no way was it going to be a one-time thing, no matter what he thought or said.”
“Really?” Even though I don’t doubt her, I doubt myself.
Rolling her eyes, “Really. You have to be patient. He won’t let you get away, there’s just some coming to peace with something I’m sure he thought wouldn’t happen. This is Ethan, his life not happening exactly the way he expected isn’t something he’s going to accept without a little caution.”
“Thank you, I’m sorry I didn’t go to lunch. I really was behind because of this whole Ethan thing, and I didn’t want to go out and try to pretend like nothing was wrong.”
“No biggie. I was at loose ends as I wrapped up work early today. I’ll leave tomorrow after I have lunch with Ethan. A whole three days with the folks, you are lucky Ethan doesn’t want to have anything to do with them.”
Since she was the one to bring it up. “Is that best for him? And if it is, why isn’t it good for you? Ethan mentioned they twist you up into neurotic knots.”
“For Ethan, it’s the absolute best thing. If he dealt with my parents, there would forever be tension and an eternal horn-locking with my father and Ethan. Everyone would be miserable. Ethan and I are two completely different people and our parents raised us differently. They didn’t even know Ethan’s birthday for years. Nannies and boarding school raised him. By the time they figured out just how badly they screwed up, it was too late.
With me, things were completely different. My mom thought they were having a second honeymoon period. Actually, it was some weird guilt thing my dad was going through. He had a new sixteen-year old side piece he was considering throwing everything away for. My mom found out when I was three years old. The girl was old enough and he wanted a divorce. Out of sheer bitchiness, my mom refused then threatened him with telling his commanding officer. She had gone nuts and ripped up the house, and found him with pictures of the girl when the girl was still a minor.
“I don’t remember any of it, but apparently it was hell for both of them. Then the girl got pissed that it was going on five years without my dad following through on his promises, and went to his commanding officer and told him everything. Maybe it was from habit, but my mom did the stick-by-her-man-thing—calling the girl a liar, that she was attention seeking and after money. There were more questions than answers. However, everyone was willing to look the other way. While my parents were trying to look the part, Ethan got kicked out then it turned into the real thing. When Ethan left and refused to have anything to do with them, they focused on me.
“While I still had a nanny, I also got hugs and trips to the zoo, and tea parties with my dad. Still, that didn’t mean they changed a hundred percent. They have high expectations and Ethan exceeded those in every way. Even though he wasn’t there, they never stop talking about him. I’m it, after all these years I’m all they have left. Would I like to walk away from them? Sometimes, only I can’t. They weren’t the best parents, but at least they tried with me. I feel like I owe them to at least try with them.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s good you were thinking of if it was good for Ethan, he needs that in his life.”
“Since we couldn’t do lunch, do you want to stay for dinner? Ethan is working late tonight.”
“Sounds good to me.”
The next few hours pass by e
asily. It finally feels like we’re back to a new normal.
I’ve barely closed the door when Ethan comes in. He’s tired, I go to him. His arms come around me holding me tight. “Did you eat?”
“Yes, I had something delivered. I ran into Amelia on the street. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. She’s been here for hours keeping me company.”
“Good. Ready for bed?”
I’m not, but I nod. On our way down the hall, he stops outside his office then goes in, picking up his laptop. He sees my curious look.
“We are enrolling you tonight.”
“Yes, lord and master Bishop.” I curtsy, before going into use my bathroom to brush my teeth and face before following him.
I find him undressing, watching as my body begins buzzing. “No, you greedy minx not until this is finished.”
I pout as he goes in to brush his teeth then climbs into bed. He pulls up the site and enrolls me. I want to do at least four classes, Ethan wants me to do two classes. We split the difference and go with three. If I do well I can add more the next semester. The basics are picked for this semester, history, English, and a basic math requisite. He knows his credit card number by heart as he pays. Who the hell knows their credit card number by heart?
“All done. That was fairly painless.” He closes the laptop as he sets it on the bedside table.
“I guess. Who would have thought it? Me going to school again.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Did I push you into this? Is this what you really want?”
“It is, really. I’m being stupid. I was just remembering what my dad said once.”
“What did he say?”
Shrugging, I’m embarrassed. “When I was thirteen we were watching a movie about a college fund being stolen and the lengths the kid was willing to go to get it back so he could go to his dream college. My brother Michael asked my dad if we had a college fund. My dad laughed and said of course not, Michael was going into the Marines so the government would be paying for him to go to school. I didn’t need a college fund because, why bother paying for me to go to school when I was just going to end up making babies and taking care of my husband and house? I didn’t need school for that.”
