Bethany And The Zombie Jesus: A Novelette With 11 Other Tales of Horror And Grotesquery

by Jake Bible

  Thursday, December 16th- Afternoon

  Smashed my thumb pretty bad. May lose the nail. It hurts even more because I am so freakin’ cold. I’m trying to conserve the wood for the heart of winter. If I use it all up now I’ll freeze to death before February. I may have to start ripping down the other buildings for wood and supplies. I’d rather not; it’s easier to tear down than to build back up. No fence breaches today. I hope it stays that way for a couple of days until my thumb heals.

  Thursday, December 16th- No Freakin’ Idea What Time It Is

  I have no idea what is going on, but all hell has broken loose outside. It’s a new moon and pitch black. I can hear the Reamers howling and clawing at the fence. The night time cold hasn’t slowed them down at all tonight. I think I hear gun fire somewhere out there, but I’m not sure. It could just be frozen branches snapping in the woods. I really want to know what has them all so riled up. I haven’t heard them like this since they first found the compound. Back before everyone left.

  Friday, December 17th- Morning

  Well, I found out why the Reamers were all up in arms. Looks like a couple black bears came through and ripped a few apart. They are starving, just like everything else in this world. Too bad the bears don’t know that eating Reamer flesh is suicide. That’s why they eat their victims alive while they defile them. The flesh hasn’t had long enough to be tainted. It looks like it didn’t take long for one of the bears to change though. I feel sorry for the bear that lost that battle. I have no idea where the other one is. Just what I need, a Reamer bear on the loose. Great. I wonder if the pelt will stay contaminated? I could use the fur.

  Friday, December 17th- Sunset

  I was able to get to the bear corpse. The dog kept the Reamers occupied enough for me to circle around and get the body through the gate with only a couple getting through. I carefully skinned the bear and have the fur hanging outside. It’ll take a while for it to be workable considering how cold it is outside. Once it dries out a bit I’m going to lock the dog in the shed with the fur to see if it’s still toxic. I don’t think it will be. I am freakin’ starving. My mother used to yell at me every time I said that as a kid. She would tell me I have no idea what starvation is. She was right. Wish she wasn’t.

  Saturday, December 18th- Evening

  Busy day today. I had four fence breaches. Two at the same time. I think the cold is affecting the materials. The fence isn’t holding up to the constant pressure the Reamers are putting on it. I spent all morning and afternoon fixing the fence, corralling Reamers, burning Reamers and shoring up weak spots. I lost the dog. Bummer. I won’t be able to test the bear fur. I have to admit it was funny watching the horny monsters trying to catch the dog. They’ll fuck anything. It’s a boy dog, so the women were chasing it too. Their emaciated tits flapping along has they stumbled after it. I think he got away, but I lost sight of him when he hit the tree line. Means more food for me, though. I found some canned ham and beans under the floor boards. I’ll bet 100% it was Luther that hid those cans. He was always such a selfish son of a bitch. He let his own daughter die. She screamed for hours before they were through with her. The women tried to get a piece of the action, but anatomy is anatomy and they just kept getting more and more frustrated until they ripped her apart and ate her before the flesh changed and spoiled. I fucking hate Luther. Oh well, I should be able to make the food last until next week. Wee.

  Sunday, December 19th- Lunchtime

  Well, I found Leon. He was under the floorboards in the kitchen. I have no idea how he got there. It was just him and me left when he disappeared. He had a butter knife through the eye. Did I do that? God, I don’t remember doing that. It’s so freakin’ cold that his body is perfectly preserved. Although it made the cutting slow going. I’ll render and smoke him up tomorrow. If I ration right it should give me food enough for the rest of the year. I hate eating people I know. I am sure my body doesn’t care, but my mind gives me diarrhea. I can’t afford to crap too much, but I can’t afford to not eat. The Lover’s Plague is hell on the digestive system.

  Monday, December 20th- Afternoon

  Dog’s back. I thought he was a goner. I guess he was out looking for food. More power to him, ‘cause he can’t have any of mine. Well, I may let him have some Leon. I don’t know. If he keeps staring at me like I’m some cartoon steak, I may have to kill him. Or feed him. God, this dog is making my head hurt. He’s a good dog though. I have him chained outside the cabin until I am sure he’s clean.

  Tuesday, December 21st- Morning

  I have blood in my stool. Great. I’m hoping it’s just a burst hemorrhoid. I’ll have to keep an eye on that. Bleeding out the ass is not the way I want to go. I guess we don’t choose how we go though. Well, not yet. Keep hope alive.

  Tuesday, December 21st- Afternoon

  Took all day to get Leon all smoked up and put away. The smell drove the Reamers freakin’ nuts. Even though they only eat it fresh and raw, I guess the memory of barbecue is too much to resist. I was able to patch up some weak points in the fence before they could breach it. Almost doesn’t make it all worth it. Almost.

  Wednesday, December 22nd- Dawn

  Fog is back. I hate the fog. I can’t see a damn thing out there. It makes the Reamer moans bounce around the compound so sometimes it sounds like they are right next to me. Freaks me right out. I hope there aren’t any fence breaches today. As soon as the fog lifts I am going to do a full fence check. I have decided to start tearing down the other buildings. I need the materials for the fence and the fire. That should take me a couple of days.

  Thursday, December 23rd- Morning

  I am exhausted. I got the admin building mostly torn down yesterday. Found Sylvia. Looks like someone killed her and stashed the body in one of the filing cabinets. From the looks of her someone raped her either before or after they killed her. Real rape. Takes a lot of caution and insanity to pull that off. I bet it was Luther. Asshole. I’ll bet he had it all planned out. Who else would be sick enough to wrap her entire body in plastic except for a hole in the crotch. He even left the doubled up condoms inside her. Like there isn’t enough of this shit out there already. Don’t see why he couldn’t whack off like most survivors. Sylvia’s body was too rotted to provide any food. I bagged her up though. The body will come in handy as a distraction if I need to get the Reamers out of the way. I am going to finish the admin building today and then start on the rec center. Maybe I’ll find more of Luther’s treasures. Hopefully it’ll be food and not another of his playthings. God I hate Luther. Good freakin’ riddance.

  Friday, December 24th- Christmas Eve Night

  The dog and I sang Christmas carols tonight. He has a good voice. I let him in yesterday, once I was sure he hadn’t been tainted. I have to watch him, just in case. I splurged and ate some of Leon for dinner. I shared with the dog, more out of self-preservation than compassion. I really hope the fence holds tonight. Maybe Santa will bring me a Christmas miracle and this nightmare will all be over tomorrow.

  Saturday, December 25th- After Midnight (Merry Freakin’ Xmas)

  Someone is out there, outside the fence. I can hear voices calling out. It sounds like maybe two or three of them. I can’t tell if they are male or female. I’d of course prefer all female. Less chance they’ll kill me and take all of my stuff. If there are men with the women then I am probably screwed. The men will kill me right away to keep me away from their women and then take all of my stuff. You know this whole thing has really showed which of the sexes is the best. All it did was turn men into murderous, covetous dickheads. And that’s before they become infected. The women have been great through the whole mess, though. They’ve always had better control of their hormones. I digress. Anyway, I have the dog muzzled so he doesn’t bark and we are hunkered down to see if it’s friends or foes out there. It doesn’t sound like they are in trouble. They’re probably testing to see if they are going to get their heads blown off. No chance here. I haven’t seen bulle
ts in years.

  Wow, that was quite a noise. I think they have a truck and they just drove through the gate. I hope they didn’t damage it too much. If I live and they don’t find me it’ll take me all day to fix it I’m sure. I better put the lighter away. I just needed to write this down in case I don’t make it. I hope this isn’t my last entry. But, if the newbies don’t kill me I am sure the Reamers they let in will. I’ll barricade the door before I turn in. Hope I wake up alive and without any orifices violated.

  Saturday, December 25th- Morning

  I’m still alive. The dog is whining. He probably needs to piss. I know I do. If he gets any louder I may have to snap his neck. I haven’t risked looking outside. I haven’t heard anything since the big crash. I assume whoever it was didn’t make it. That means I probably have a compound full of Reamers. Great, it’s going to take me all day to slash and burn the place clean.

  Saturday, December 25th- Evening

  Well, I got lucky. And I mean lucky. The new folks drove right through the gate with an old Dodge Ram. They made it twenty yards in the dark before smashing into the metal maintenance shed. One of them went through the windshield. Head went bye-bye. More food. Ugggh, I’d give anything for a nice salad. Anyway, there were only a few Reamers to deal with. Apparently there were two people in the back of the truck and they fell out when they hit the gate. That kept the fuckers happy and occupied for most of the morning. I could have danced a jig right in front of them and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Nothing can distract a Reamer from its dinner and a screw. The only problem is now some are fed, which makes them stronger. I’ll have to watch for that.

  So one dead on the hood of the truck; two dead and defiled by the entrance gate; which left one alive on top of the maintenance shed. I spent all morning cleaning up and getting the gate closed and secured before I noticed her. She was holding herself, rocking back and forth just watching me. I can’t believe she was up there the whole time and I didn’t see her. I think she must have laid down flat to hide herself and only sat up once she realized I looked harmless enough. Or she realized she wasn’t going to make it on her own when she saw what it takes to repair and maintain the fence and gate. That and the fact I was butchering and rendering her friend right in front of her. It’s easier while it’s fresh and hasn’t frozen solid. I probably stood in the middle of the compound watching her for an hour while I worked before I approached the shed. As soon as I did she drew a .44 semi-auto from her coat and leveled it at me. Wow, hadn’t seen a gun in quite a while. Made me think of High School, but that’s a whole other story. I lifted my hands in the air and waited until she seemed satisfied. Another hour passed and then she got down off the shed.

  Her name is Allison. She just met the others a few weeks ago. She had been hiding in a cave with her family for the past three years, but this year they were found by Scavers. She was able to get herself and her brother out of there, but they got her parents and two little sisters. She cried for another hour before being able to go on. I’d have held her and comforted her, but those days are gone for the human race now. I kinda know what she went through. Anyway, her and her brother found these other folks down the mountain and hooked up with them. I guess it wasn’t all peaches and cream though. She said there were seven others. They had a leader and he, well, thought he owned everything and everyone in the group. He really liked her brother. I guess he liked him to death one night, just like Luther liked Sylvia. That’s when she put a bullet through his brain. Pretty ballsy considering how precious bullets are. Three of the others had been thinking the same thing and took the opportunity to kill the ones that were deadly loyal to the leader. They butchered and rendered the bodies and loaded up the truck with as much gas as they could. It only took them three days to find my compound. The gas was all gone, but I saved the food.

  I showed her my cabin and decided to risk eating a little more Leon. With the extra meat she brought with her I think we can afford it. We ate dinner in silence. She likes the dog. She won’t put the gun down, though. Merry Xmas!

  Sunday, December 26th- Morning

  Allison has night terrors. Great. That’s not the bad part. I guess she never let go of the gun. So in her sleep she pulled the trigger. There are dog brains all over the cabin. I’m just going to move us to a new cabin and rip this one down. I have a back-up all set and outfitted, so it’s not too much of a pain in the ass. She keeps crying though. I told her the dog was either going to die soon or we would have to eat him once the food was gone so it was just a matter of time anyway. That didn’t seem to help. I think I will miss that dog. It’ll mean less rest at night. It was nice having him being the first alert if anything got through the fence and got near the cabin. Oh, well. I wonder if there are any more dogs left out there that aren’t Reamers? Sucks to be a mammal these days. She did give me the gun though. Three bullets. I put it away. Three bullets aren’t going to do us much good. Plus, bad things happen when guns are around. I know from experience. So does the dog.

  Sunday, December 26th- Lunchtime

  It seems Allison is used to having a lot more provisions than I am. She wolfed her lunch down before I had taken more than three or four bites then asked for more. I chuckled a little then saw she wasn’t kidding. I took another big bite and offered her the rest of mine. She didn’t take it of course. Even though men aren’t carriers, you just never know. I then explained to her the facts of surviving here at the compound. She turned a little green when I told her about October. Whew, I’m still amazed I made it through that month. She said she’d slow her eating down considerably after that. I promised her we would eat a big meal on New Years to celebrate.

  Sunday, December 26th- Evening

  It looks like Allison and her friends drew a following on their way to the compound. The Reamers have doubled since she arrived. They must have followed the truck; it only took them a couple days to shamble their way here. Allison felt bad and helped me reinforce the places in the fence I knew wouldn’t hold up against the extra pressure. We really worked up a sweat. It’s nice to work with someone again. Leon didn’t like to work, so I pretty much did it all. When we were done and got back inside I stripped my sweaty clothes off and put dry ones on to keep from freezing. After all the years in this hellish world she hasn’t lost her modesty and turned away to look out the window while I dressed. I think she saw my reflection in the glass, though. When I told her she could turn around she had tears in her eyes and a strange look on her face. She probably saw the scars. One day I’ll tell her how those happened. Not everything was snips and snails and puppy dog tails before the Apocalypse. I stepped outside while she changed. She had her shirt off before I could get myself outside though. Now I have her naked torso in my mind. Great, just great. Later when I handed her her dinner plate her fingers brushed mine. We both jerked back in shock. I still had that image in my head and grew careless. We ate in silence. I don’t think either one of us will be able to sleep. No one was ever sure if all it takes is a touch, but for her sake I hope it doesn’t or at least that she’s clean. She took the gun back. I don’t blame her.

  Monday, December 27th- Morning

  Yay, Santa came late! He brought me a Luther. Son of a bitch was here all along. He made a hole under the rec center floor. Looks like he had been planning it for a while. He had blankets, pillows, extra clothes, canned food stashed, all kinds of stuff. He had Rebecca down there too. She was trussed up just like Sylvia, but it looks like he got bored of that. Who knows what he was doing to her before he started to eat her. Who knows what he was doing to her after he started to eat her. Asshole. We had been inside tearing apart the rec center for maybe an hour when the prick came at me with a freakin’ pick axe screaming, “Dibs!”. What a jerk. Anyway, Luther’s an idiot so I only had to side step two swipes of the pick axe before I was able to put my crow bar through his brain. Where the hell did he get a pick axe? I could have used that to dig in the frozen garden. What’s crazy is that Luther isn’t contamin
ated. His skin wasn’t all flushed and his eyes, while bat-shit crazy, weren’t oozing. More food. Most of Rebecca’s body is salvageable once I cut off the Luther bite parts. He just started gnawing on her. Didn’t even bother to cut her up and cook her. God I hate that guy. Though, it does explain the whole Leon thing. Good to know I didn’t off Leon. Murderous blackouts aren’t a good thing. I’ve worked really hard to get past those.

  My, I mean our, supplies have nearly doubled now. Christmas really came after all. In fact, this has been the best Christmas time in years. Well, almost. I miss Charlotte. She was great. Even though I spent last year’s Christmas locked in the Hole, she stayed outside the door all day to keep me company. We talked about everything until she started screaming. Then Leon opened the door and let me out. Good Times.

  Guess what? Luther had two bottles of Wild Turkey stashed. Where did he get those? He must have had them on him when he got here. Bastard.

  Tuesday, December 28th- Afternoon

  I have the rec center all torn down now. Alison is busy taking care of Rebecca and Luther’s bodies. It took me a while to find her after the Luther attack. She likes to hide on roofs. Once I stripped down and showed her that I had no Luther bites or scratches she came down. She was together enough to make some crack about it being cold out. Real confidence booster there. She wouldn’t get near me though until she was able to assure herself that Luther wasn’t infected and couldn’t have infected me. That’s what sucks about this fucking plague. You either get it from intimate contact with a woman or from being brutally beaten and/or raped by an infected man and you are unlucky enough to survive. I guess it sucks more being a woman though. They are the carriers. Something about the chromosomes I guess. I don’t know if the doctors ever had time to figure it out. The shitty part is that a woman can’t know if she is clean or a carrier until it’s too late and she has infected some poor guy. If she isn’t ripped apart from the brutality of his change then she becomes just as fuck hungry as the men. I’d say almost more so, since her prey needs a dick, which cuts the options in half. Lesbianism doesn’t exist anymore, the infection took care of that. The men, however, screw any orifice they can find on anyone or anything they can find. And I mean anyone, anything and any orifice.