Oh, God. Did I really just say that? That’s what a girl tells a guy who doesn’t have a shot in hell with her. Mr. Westbrook doesn’t fall anywhere near that category, but I can’t think of that now. I need out of here before I change my mind and tell him yes.
Mr. Westbrook steps toward me, holding out his hand as though he wants to grab me and keep me from bolting. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Just come to my office, and we can talk about this.”
The farther I back away, the more hurt he looks. It’s enough to make me feel like the biggest bitch on the planet, but I can’t stay and explain my screwed-up life. It’s better if I leave quickly. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” I twirl around and dart past Dr. Crane, who watches me curiously.
“Cassie!” Mr. Westbrook calls, but I keep going.
In the hall, a dozen students mill around, waiting to enter the classroom. They watch me hurry past them. My heels click madly against the tile floor, and I don’t stop until I’m out of the building and down the steps.
Pausing to catch my breath, I stare at the columns of the entrance, wondering what I’ve just done to poor Mr. Westbrook’s self-esteem. If there’s a way to let a guy down easy, I’m pretty sure flying away like a bat out of hell isn’t it. He just said some of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, and I treated him like dirt. What is wrong with me?
I startle when I hear Dan’s voice.
“That’s right, pretty girl. Run away from the one you want. It’s the one you need who’ll heal your heart.”
With a big, fat scowl, I whirl toward him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He’s leaning against his light post, thumbs hooked into his jeans. His eyes twinkle. “It mean what it mean, pretty girl.”
Out of breath, I slump down on the bottom step and sit, my chest heaving. Between running from Aiden’s classroom and deflecting his advances, I can’t seem to fill my lungs with enough air to dispel the lightheadedness. Dan sits next to me, rubbing his hands as if he’s warming them over a fire. I drop my head between my knees before I hyperventilate.
“What you thankful for, pretty girl?”
“Nothing,” I grumble to the ground.
He nudges my arm. “Ah, come on. You thankful for something.”
I peer up at him through bangs in dire need of a trim.
He’s smiling at me. “Use that sharp mind of yours, and think real hard.”
I purse my lips to let him know how annoying his question is. When he just chuckles, I decide I’d better give him an answer or he’ll never leave me in peace. Besides, I suppose I am thankful for one thing right now.
“Tyler,” I answer, even though I’m furious at him too. But if it weren’t for the thought of him bringing me back to earth, I would have said yes to Aiden. I’m absolutely sure of it.
Dan nudges me again. “Tell him you grateful for him.”
“That’s kind of hard to do when we’re avoiding each other.”
“You fightin’?” Dan’s eyes shine brighter, and his mouth turns up at one corner, reminding me of Tyler’s adorable half-grin. “Figured you for a little spitfire. Guess I were right.”
I pop my head up from between my knees and glare at him. “I’m not a spitfire! He’s a controlling jerk.”
Dan shakes his head, smile faltering, and stares at a massive oak across the sidewalk. “Does he tell you what to wear?”
“Of course not.”
“Who to be friends with?”
“No way. I’d kick his ass if he tried.”
His eyes seem to glaze over as though he’s reliving a memory, and based on his scowl, it’s not a good one. “Does he keep you home when you want to go out? Beat you when you ain’t listening or when you don’t make what he like for dinner?”
I’m pretty sure we’re not talking about me anymore. “Uh… no… he’d never do any of those things.” He hasn’t had the chance, but still, Tyler’s not the abusive type.
Dan turns toward me, and his eyes are so cold, I can’t believe they belong to the same man. “My daddy done all those things to my mama. That’s controlling. What your boy done to you that’s so bad?”
How am I supposed to answer after a confession like that? I consider pretending his question’s rhetorical until Dan scoffs at me.
“We ain’t got all day, pretty girl.”
I sigh and mumble, “He doesn’t want me going to the lake at night by myself.”
He pats my knee. “He worried about your safety, pretty girl. That’s all. Ain’t nothing to get upset about. Means he cares.”
That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. “Maybe I don’t want him to care.”
“Maybe you ain’t got no choice.” He squeezes my leg and smiles. If anyone else tried that, I’d shove their hand away, but Dan’s touch is comforting, like a caress from a grandparent. “You need him, pretty girl?”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned today, it’s certainly that. “Yes. I need him.”
“Tell him. You can start by letting him know you grateful for him.” When I frown, he adds, “That ain’t no declaration of love.”
I’m about to ask why would I tell him that when he could misinterpret it in so many ways, but I pause to reflect instead. Maybe Tyler does need to hear that I’m grateful for him. He’s been an indispensable part of my summer, a glow of light in an otherwise bleak world since Wyatt left.
For the first time, I consider that Tyler might have feelings and that I might have stepped all over them when I told him we’re not friends. There’s even a possibility he feels a tiny bit used by me. Maybe that has as much to do with him following me to the lake as curiosity. He might have just wanted to get my attention. Maybe if he knows he’s important to me and not just a throwaway lover with no claim to me at all, he wouldn’t act like a possessive jerk.
“You’re right,” I whisper. Leave it to Philosopher Dan to point out something I hadn’t even contemplated. I straighten, quirking a smile. “I like it when you don’t speak in vague riddles.”
His grin falters, and his expression goes serious. “Keep your mind sharp and your eyes open. Not everything what it seem.”
I throw my hands up and stand. “There you go again!”
He just laughs as I walk away. “See you in a few weeks, pretty girl.”
I salute him and head toward home. On the way, I pull my cell from my bag. I’m about to text Tyler when I notice a message from him. He hasn’t texted all week, and seeing his name light up my phone makes me giddy.
Ever had sex under the stars? I hear it’s hot as long as it’s with a next door neighbor.
I chuckle and text back, Can you ask Josh if he’s free for a date this evening?
No problem. Can you see if Liz’s free?
I roll my eyes and dial his number. “Liz’s heading home for a week,” I say when he answers.
“Josh says you aren’t his type.”
“Bullshit. As long as I’m breathing, I’m Josh’s type.”
“Not true. He needs ‘em blind or drunk so they don’t laugh at his tiny dick.”
I snort so loud, a guy walking next to me looks at me. “I’m going to tell him you said that.”
“You do that.”
A moment of awkward silence passes between us. I look around nervously. The guy walking beside me veers down another path, so no one’s in my vicinity. It’s the perfect time to take Dan’s advice.
“Thank you for being my fuck buddy—”
“I have the perfect solution,” Tyler says at the same time.
“Solution to what?” I ask.
“Wait, did you just thank me for having sex with you? Has hell frozen over? What’s going on?”
“What do you mean a solution?” I ask.
“Ladies first.”
“Fine.” I peer around again and notice a group of girls heading toward me. Oddly, I don’t care enough to keep the conversation private anymore. “My teacher asked me out today, and if it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn
’t have been able to turn him down.”
After a moment, he says, “Your teacher? Isn’t that against school policy?”
“Yes. But he’s not teaching anymore, so it’s fine.”
He hesitates again. “Who’s your teacher?”
“Doesn’t matter. I just want to say thank you. And I’m sorry for being a bitch at the lake.”
“What was that last part? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I’m sorry for being a bitch at the lake,” I say louder.
“What? You’re breaking up.”
“I’m sorry for being a bitch at the lake!” I practically shout and get odd looks from a dozen students milling around the water fountain in front of the library.
“I forgive you!” he says equally as loud. His voice isn’t only coming from my phone. “By the way, your ass looks good enough to eat in those pants. Can I take them off later?”
I turn to see him smirking at me from in front of the physical science building. “Tyler Mason!”
He jerks the phone away from his ear and winces. Then he holds only the microphone to his mouth. “Yes, dear?”
“You’re ridiculous!”
He smiles. “That’s why you keep me around. At least you will when I tell you about my perfect solution to our lake problem.”
I shake my head, but I can’t keep from smiling. “This better be good.”
We walk toward each other, still speaking into our phones, which feels bizarre and makes me giggle.
“It is. We turn Sunday nights into a rendezvous night. You do your telescope thing, and then we have sex under the stars. When we’re done, we go back to your house and have more sex.” His eyes are practically shining. “Isn’t that perfect? I’m so brilliant sometimes, it’s scary.”
“You’re so humble too,” I say as I reach him.
“I know.” He slips his phone into his pocket. “So what do you think?”
I drop my phone into my bag. “I think I want to know why you’re so worried about me. And not some stupid answer like, ‘But you’re my friend, and friends watch out for each other.’”
He takes my elbow and leads me under a tree where there’s more privacy. “We’re not friends, Cassie. We’re fuck buddies. If you’re asking if I want to put a ring on it, the answer’s no. I’m just protecting a nice piece of ass.” He glances behind me, straight at my derriere. “Did I mention your ass looks edible?”
“Yeah. You might have said something about that a time or two.”
He looks at me, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. “So? Stargazing? Hot sex? A few fire ant bites in sensitive places? Sounds fun, right?”
I chuckle. “I’ll consider it.” After today, I’d consider anything that’d keep him in my life.
“Great. Now about getting those pants off…”
“Not tonight. I’m heading home to see my family.”
His gaze skims over me, growing more heated the lower he travels. “Go tomorrow.”
I’ve been without his touch for a week. I did a good job of convincing myself I didn’t need it, but his darkened stare’s proving me a liar because it’s setting my skin afire.
I’m sure my gaze is just as lusty as his when I ask, “Ten o’clock okay?”
His lips tip up at one corner. “Nine. It’s been too long.”
I’m about to say it hasn’t been that long, but yeah, he’s right. It’s been way too long. “Okay.”
He glances at the library tower clock then back down at me. “I’ve got a test in five. See you tonight.”
As if on autopilot, he leans down and kisses the corner of my mouth, a soft peck that somewhere private, would have barely registered. Out here, where dozens of eyes can see us, it renders me both startled and frozen.
Tyler straightens slowly, eyes probably as wide as mine. “Uh… yeah…” He points over his shoulder. “I’ll just get out of here.”
All I can do is nod and press my fingers to the spot he kissed, hoping it was an accident and not a symptom of a bigger problem. I don’t want Tyler falling for me. That would screw up our arrangement irreparably, and I need him now more than ever.
As I watch him turn to leave, Liz’s saying rings in my ears. If there are only three truths in life, they are these. Women will always try to change a man. Men will always say anything to get a girl in bed. Tyler Mason will always have a long line of girls trying to domesticate him, and none will succeed. If one of these ceases to be true, the world will cease to exist.
Above me, birds sing in the trees. Students walk to and from class. The sun shines. The world’s intact, and that can only mean one thing. Tyler Mason is not domesticated. I blow out the breath I’ve been holding and head home, praying Liz is right.
Chapter 18
Dear Aiden,
I’m sorry about today. Really, really sorry. I handled your invitation immaturely. I reacted the way I did because I wanted to say yes. Please forgive my rude behavior.
I groan a zombie-like sound and face-plant on my keyboard. That’s so not what I want to say. The right words to express my shame elude me.
All afternoon, I’ve been obsessing over the way I ditched Mr. Westbrook. I should have gone to his office and thanked him for his kind words, then found a way to turn him down nicely. But no, I’m an idiot who ran away. I have to apologize. An email might be impersonal, but no way am I visiting his office. I’d just end up making a bigger bozo of myself. Besides, I doubt he wants to see me after I hightailed away from him as though he was a troll with halitosis.
I sit up straight and try to decide how I can make him understand why I had to say no. Give him the truth. That’s the only way, but I hate it just the same.
Dear Aiden,
I’m sorry about today. I acted so rude because I was afraid if I went to your office, I’d say yes to your invitation. You see, I want to go out with you, but I can’t. Four months ago, someone hurt me. He hurt me so badly, I barely went to class for two weeks, and I almost lost my scholarship. I’m not saying you’d hurt me too. We might go on two dates and decide we have nothing in common. Or we might go on two dates and decide we like each other a lot. Two dates could turn into something exclusive, and I’d open myself up to another heartbreak. I’m not in a position to do that right now. No matter how much I want to say yes to you, I can’t. I hope you’ll forgive me for my rude behavior, and now you understand why I had to leave so quickly. It had nothing to do with not wanting to go out with you and everything to do with wanting to go out with you.
Sincerely,
Cassie
My mouse arrow hovers over the send button. I think the message reveals why I ran away without giving him hope I might change my mind. After staring at the screen for another few seconds, I fire off the email.
And wait. And wait. And wait. I guess I’m hoping he’ll absolve my guilt quickly.
Fifteen minutes later, I leave my desk and pack for my trip tomorrow. I peer back at the computer every five minutes, hoping for a new email. No such luck. Two hours later, my bags are packed, my room is tidied up, every nook and cranny is dusted, and even my closet is organized. After checking my email for the zillionth time, I give up on hearing from Aiden and head to the kitchen to clean out the refrigerator.
I pine for Liz as I dump leftovers in the trash. She’d take my mind off my guilt, but she’s gone home to Houston until rush starts. By seven in the evening, the house is spotless. My brain keeps replaying the scene with Aiden like it’s on permanent repeat. I blare Katy Perry from my iPod docking station to drown out the sound in my head of Mr. Westbrook calling my name while I ran away. The man has to hate me, and I can’t even blame him.
At eight, I turn off the music and close my computer. I head to the bathroom to take a shower, thankful Tyler will be over soon to cheer me up. My mood shifts dramatically while I’m lathering. Anticipating a night with Tyler will do that to a girl.
After I’m squeaky clean, I put on a sexy lavender bra and panty set, then slip on my blue silk robe. I se
cure the sash loosely so Tyler doesn’t have to exert effort untying it. I’m going to give him a night he’ll never forget so he knows how grateful I am for his services. I saunter down the hall and slip my damp hair over one shoulder. Tyler loves the way the damp strands cling to my neck and shoulders, so I’ve taken to washing it more often than it needs.
When I walk into my room, he’s reclined on the bed, his hands behind his head and his legs crossed at the ankles. A thrill shoots straight up my spine. There’s no better present to find in my room than a shirtless, shoeless Tyler with only a pair of well-worn jeans covering his sculpted legs.
“I like you best when you’re wet, cupcake.” His heated gaze slides over my body and stops at the juncture between my thighs. “And I mean that in two ways.”
I giggle as I stroll to the bed, swaying my hips with each step in hopes of revving his engine quickly. My knees hit the bottom of the bed, and I crawl onto the mattress. Tyler watches the way my robe gapes at the chest, his eyes darkening. Like a jungle cat, I languidly move up his body, pressing a kiss to the dusting of hair peeking above the button of his jeans.
He sighs contentedly as I trail soft kisses to his belly button, up his hard abs, to his pecs. His hands wrap around my arms, urging me toward his mouth, but I take my time and relish the feel of his smooth skin beneath my lips. I’ve missed touching him, and a shudder of blissful pleasure travels down my spine to my crotch, then makes its way back up. My entire body is alive with lustful energy. I reach a dark nipple and flick the puckered flesh with my tongue, feeling it pebble.
“Christ, cupcake,” Tyler says, gritting his teeth. “You’re not wasting any time.”
I peer down at the growing bulge pressing against his zipper. “Not tonight.”
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