I slip my hand past his belly button and palm the length of him. He sucks in a hissing breath that satisfies me in primal ways. My thumb and forefinger slide into place, about to release the button of his jeans, but I stop when I remember something I’d found in the back of the refrigerator.
I gaze up at him and smile playfully. “Wait here.” I back away, one foot sliding off the bed toward the floor.
He wraps his hands around my wrists, eyes narrowed. “You’re not going anywhere until you finish what you’ve started.”
I doubt he’s using much strength to pull me toward him—he’s twice my size, after all—but when I fight him, twisting and turning like a feeding alligator, I don’t get any closer to free. Tyler seems to be enjoying the tussle a little too much. His good humor could have something to do with my robe falling off my shoulders and draping down to my waist.
He raises a dark eyebrow, and one side of his mouth lifts up in an amused grin. “Are you done? ‘Cause I’d like to get that bra off, and you’re making it difficult.” As if I weigh no more than one of my stuffed monkeys, he turns me around and nips at the clasp of my bra. “Maybe I can use my teeth.”
“Tyler! Stop it!” I twist around so I can see his face. “I’ll only be gone a second, and you’ll like what I bring back.”
He quirks a curious smile. “Promise?”
I glide the tip of my tongue over my top lip, trying to be as seductive as possible. “Promise.”
After a moment, he releases me, and I jump from the bed before he changes his mind. I dart to the kitchen, barely pausing to fix my robe. I throw open the refrigerator and sort through the top shelf where I know a can of whipped cream—left over from the strawberry shortcakes Liz and I made last week—is hiding behind a carton of orange juice. I push aside the juice and snatch the cold canister. Tyler’s about to get a memory he’ll cherish forever.
After closing the refrigerator door, I saunter into the living room. The house is so quiet I hear the shuffle of my bare feet on the wood floor and the mattress creaking as Tyler shifts in bed. A light rapping comes from the front door, and I nearly jump out of my skin.
“Expecting company, cupcake?” Tyler asks from the bedroom.
“No,” I call back.
“If it’s a hot woman, tell her she can join us.”
I shake my head while strolling for the front door. “You’re a pig.”
“Oink, oink.”
“It’s probably Hannah.” I’d told her I was headed home today, so she probably visited Dylan, saw lights on at my house, and decided to investigate. “Dylan will kick your ass for even thinking about a threesome with his girlfriend.”
I throw open the door, expecting Hannah’s smiling face. Instead, I’m met by beautiful green eyes, a fedora, and a sweater vest. “Mr. Westbrook!”
He slips off his hat and nods. “Call me Aiden.”
“Of course… Aiden.”
His gaze slides over my body, and in the light of the porch lamp, I see him blushing bright red. I look down to see my sash is tied so loose, a sliver of skin shows from my neck to my crotch. My cheeks heat too, and I gather the material and hold it closed with one hand. In the other hand is a tall bottle of whipped cream. I slip the canister behind my back, praying he hasn’t noticed it.
“Is this a bad time?” Aiden asks, turning his hat in a circle between his fingers.
The worst. I give him the best apologetic look I can muster. “Maybe a little.”
I can tell he’s trying hard not to frown. “I won’t keep you. I just wanted to tell you I got your email, and I was hoping…” He clears his throat, and the hat spins faster. “I was hoping… we could be friends.”
Tyler’s footsteps pound down the hall. This is my worst nightmare come to life. I can’t help but cringe.
Aiden’s smile falters, probably because of my expression. “Um… or not.”
“Who is it, cupcake?” Tyler asks, strolling toward me.
“A friend,” I call, giving Tyler a death glare I hope he interprets as stay away.
He smirks and keeps on coming.
Aiden stiffens. “You have company?”
“Um… yeah. My friend Tyler’s over.”
Tyler slips an arm around my waist and smiles wickedly at Aiden. “We’re good friends. Very, very close.” He grabs the bottle I’m desperately clutching and wrenches it free. He chortles as he holds up the white canister. “Whipped cream. My favorite.”
He flips the cap off, opens his mouth, and presses the funnel down. I cringe as cream fills his mouth, then I step on his insole hard enough to make him wince but not hard enough to make him shriek like a schoolgirl. He glares at me, smacking his lips.
“What?” he asks with a full mouth. Bits of white escape the seam of his lips, and he sticks his tongue out, licking it away.
It’s like he’s making a declaration of ownership. The whipped cream and the girl in the robe belong to me, so get lost! Nothing could be further from the truth. I elbow him aside and step onto the porch. Aiden moves toward the steps, allowing me room, but his gaze stays locked on Tyler. His eyes hold shock and a hint of fear. Whether he’s afraid Tyler’s going to deck him or he’s just trying to figure out my real relationship with the man, I can’t tell.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I bark at Tyler. I shut the door, leaving Tyler inside and turn to Aiden. “Sorry.”
He bends the poor fedora in half, probably ruining it. “Did I misinterpret your email? I thought you weren’t dating.”
“I’m not. Tyler is just… he’s just…” I groan and bury my face in my hands, having no idea how to label our relationship so it doesn’t sound crass. This is so mortifying. I can’t even make myself look at him.
“Cassie, you can tell me the truth.”
I drop my hands and take a deep breath, steeling my nerves, but I still can’t look up. “He’s the reason I was able to turn you down.”
Aiden doesn’t say anything. A warm breeze floats past, ruffling the hem of my robe and exposing my thigh. I pull the fabric tight around me and gaze up at him, wondering what he’s thinking.
He’s staring at the door as though he’s remembering the details of the big guy looming over me. “Then you are dating?”
“No. Absolutely not.” I lean against the porch wall, unsure how to explain this without sounding like a slut. “He’s a… well, he’s sort of…a…” I can’t do it. I can’t make myself tell him the truth. I’m too afraid he’ll never look at me the same way. That shouldn’t matter to me, but it does, so like a practiced politician, I change the subject. “How do you know where I live?”
“I had access to your files,” he whispers.
“I see.” Not exactly kosher use of school information, but after what I put him through today, I’m not about to point it out.
“If I had known you had company, I never would have come by unannounced. I apologize.”
“It’s okay.” After the email I sent, how was he supposed to know I’d have a boy over? I slump down on the front step and stare across the lawn, wringing my hands. He sits next to me, so close our arms nearly touch. The scent of sandalwood and mint drifts between us, and I hate how much the heady smell affects me even though I have a beautiful man waiting inside.
Aiden’s legs stretch down the steps. They’re not as long as Tyler’s but almost. He clasps the hat with hands that aren’t as big as Tyler’s either, but still beautifully formed. Like the hands of a rancher or farmer, they’re big, capable, strong. He stares across the uncut grass and swallows so hard, I can hear his throat move. “Did you mean anything you said in the email or was that just your way of easing my feelings?”
“I meant all of it,” I whisper. “There was a guy who broke my heart. I’m not dating.” I point toward the house. “Tyler’s a friend… who keeps me happy… so I’m not tempted to date.”
His gaze goes to the door, and he nods slowly as though he understands. I wish he didn’t because I feel like a hussy, and it m
akes me want to cry. We’re silent while he watches the house and I watch him. I want to reach out and turn up the corners of his lips just so I can see him smile again. A warm breeze kicks up, whispering beneath my thin robe.
A curly lock of his black hair blows onto his forehead. He brushes it away and turns to me. “I followed a girl to the States.” He studies me with eyes that glow green even in the moonlight. “That’s why I came over to talk to you. I mean, yes, I want to be friends, but after I read your email, I had to tell you that I’ve been where you are.”
I nod. So many have, but that’s the strange thing about heartbreak. When you’re in the middle of it, you feel like the only person in the world who could possibly be in so much pain. Hearing someone else has been through the same is both a surprise and a comfort.
“What happened to her?”
“We met when she was in school in London. She’s from Dallas. She came back to the States, and I came with her. After a year, I guess the novelty of having an English boyfriend wore off.” He stares at the ground as though it’s shameful to admit. “Haven’t heard from her since.”
From the first day of class, I’ve thought of Mr. Westbrook as a confident, intelligent teacher with the world at his fingertips. I guess he is, but Aiden, this other man he’s letting me get to know, has the same insecurities I do. I have the overwhelming urge to take his hand and comfort him, but considering what he thinks Tyler and I have been doing, that’d probably seem a little forward.
Instead, I wrap my arms tightly around myself, careful to stay modest in my robe, and ask, “Why’d you stay? If it’d been me, I would have gone home.”
“The people are kind here. I like the sun too.” He chuckles, but there’s a forlorn tone to it. “Bet you can’t tell by my complexion, but I like the way the sun warms my apartment. And I like that the academic culture at Vandeveer isn’t cutthroat.” He shrugs. “It suits me.”
As laid back as he seems to be, I could see that. We go quiet again, and it feels like one of those moments where I’m supposed to share something equally as meaningful. The problem is, I don’t want to. I’m afraid divulging my inner workings to him might make me want things I can’t have.
He plants his hat on his head and sighs. One hand reaches for the porch railing, and I know I’m going to lose the chance to be with an incredible guy. I can’t let him go without trying to make him understand why I won’t risk being with him. Even if it means doing exactly what I don’t want to—revealing a piece of myself.
I grab his arm just before he stands. “Aiden?”
He tilts his head toward me, a glimmer of hope lighting his face, and settles down next to me. “Yes, Cassie?”
“I’m with Tyler because he’s not someone I could ever fall in love with. Does that make sense?”
He studies me, mulling over my words. “And me?”
I nibble on my bottom lip, still clutching his arm. “I think you’re dangerous.”
His eyes go straight to my mouth, and something in their depths shifts. I don’t understand the change until he leans toward me and snakes his hand around my neck. He pulls me toward him. No invitation. No niceties. Just his lips on mine, hot and firm, as though he knows this will be our only kiss and doesn’t want to waste it.
Chapter 19
I shouldn’t kiss Aiden back—there’s no future for us, and I don’t want to lead him on—but I can’t stop my lips from moving against his. His tongue coaxes my mouth open. I don’t fight him. He tastes of something sweet, like butterscotch. When he deepens the kiss, his tongue diving past my lips, all I can do is moan and twist my hands into the wool of his sweater vest, pressing him flush against me.
A hundred times, I’ve imagined this moment. In bed at night, I’ve closed my eyes and pictured my fingers threading through his curly dark hair, our bodies so close that not even a slip of paper could shimmy between us. I explored him with fingers, lips, and sliding limbs. He was a fire that threatened to engulf me, and all I wanted was to let him burn me. But now that his touch is real, I realize what’s happening isn’t a fire. It’s barely a flame.
He’s perfect, I tell myself, my lips still moving against his. This kiss is perfect. So perfect, it’s all wrong. How that’s possible, I don’t know, but a truth can only be denied so long. I push gently against his chest, wanting to sever the kiss kindly.
Aiden must not notice the pressure of my palms. He kisses me harder, hands cupped around my neck. My breathing grows erratic, and not from passion. I can’t stop wishing he were Tyler. When Tyler kisses me, it’s like he’s pouring his soul into my body and demanding I surrender my soul in return. I hadn’t realized how much emotion Tyler had emptied into me until now. If Aiden’s the moon, cool and reserved, Tyler’s the sun, hot and explosive. I never knew how much I craved the heat from my sun.
I push against Aiden’s chest again, determined to end the kiss. At the same time, a clang sounds behind us, like the pinging of metal on glass. It’s not very loud, but given the silence of the night, it might as well be a detonating bottle rocket. Aiden jerks so hard, his teeth clack against mine. He pulls away and stares at me, his expression nothing short of dazed. The way he watches me makes me question if the kiss seemed like a blaze to him.
I blink the thought away and peer up at Liz’s window, the only one that overlooks the porch. The blinds are drawn tight, the lights off, but the noise came from her room. Since there’s only one person in the house, that can only mean Tyler was watching.
Will he be mad? Seems like an obvious answer. What man wouldn’t be angry, watching a girl who’s supposed to be with him, kiss another man? They’re all so territorial.
He has no right to be angry, but I can’t help wondering if I’d be upset in his shoes. I imagine Tyler and me getting hot and bothered on his bed. A pretty girl knocks on his door. He shoves me aside to talk to her and ends up kissing her on the porch. My breath catches at the thought. I’d be jealous as hell, but underneath the ice filling my veins is something else. An emotion I’ve been denying for far too long. I wouldn’t just be jealous—I’d be heartbroken. Tyler belongs to me, and I belong to him.
“You didn’t want that,” Aiden says.
I startle at his voice, lost in an epiphany that’s been a long time coming. I want to pick apart my emotions and figure out how Tyler tunneled into my heart, but now’s not the time. After a few deep breaths, I answer, “I thought I did.”
“I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry,” he whispers. “When you chew on your bottom lip, it makes me a little unstable.”
We sit for a minute while I compose my emotions. I see his hat has fallen to the step below my feet, and I grab the fedora with a shaky hand.
“I guess I mucked up the whole friendship thing,” he says.
“Did you really come here for a friendship, Aiden?”
He raises his gaze to mine and regards me with too much emotion for the short time we’ve known each other. “My father asked my mum out every week for a year. It wasn’t until he resigned himself to being her friend that she finally succumbed to his charms. I thought I’d go straight for the friendship and see what happened. Obviously, I need practice holding back.” He seems to be going for an impish grin, only it comes across as sad. “Care to allow me another try?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Not when I’m falling for the boy inside.
He takes his fedora and, in a quiet voice, says, “Yes, well, I was afraid of that.”
I press my fingers to my swollen lips and watch him stand, my mind a whirl of emotions. I want to tell him, “Don’t go, not like this. Maybe we can be friends.” I push my fingertips harder to the seam of my mouth to keep from uttering the words. I don’t have the energy to sort out two relationships in one night, and Tyler takes precedence.
Aiden smooths his hat and places it on his head. It’s slightly tilted to one side in an endearing way that would have made me swoon before our kiss. He bows slightly. “If you ever get tired of your… pse
udo-boyfriend, I’ll be here.” Somehow he manages to smile through his pained expression. With a tip of his hat and a glance at the front door, he walks toward the silver Audi parked on the street and disappears inside.
When the engine turns over and the car purrs to life, a feeling of doom fills my tummy. I’m falling for Tyler Mason. It’s the nightmare Hannah warned me about. Deep down, I’d known it was a possibility. Tyler intrigues me in ways no other man has, but I’d thought the rules would keep my heart from becoming involved.
God, I’m stupid sometimes. Once bitten, twice shy, right? I need a violent mauling to learn my lesson, and maybe Tyler’s the one to do it.
I tilt my head toward the door, imaging Tyler sprawled on the couch, waiting for me with a whipped cream can clenched in his hand and a cocky smile. Or maybe he’s mad that I kissed Aiden. Then he’d probably scowl and point the can accusingly.
“I can’t do this,” I mutter. I hate myself, hate Wyatt, even hate Tyler for stealing my heart when I wasn’t looking. I don’t want him. I don’t want anyone. I want to yell my indifference down the street. Maybe that will somehow make it true.
As Aiden’s car pulls away from the curb and drives into the night, I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair. If I’m going to date again, it should be with someone like Aiden. Tyler’s the last guy I’d ever willingly give my heart to. I’ve never dated a player because they’d eat me alive.
Tyler wouldn’t just eat me up; he’d gnaw on my bones until nothing was left. He can’t be tamed. I know that. Everyone on campus knows that. Even if he does care about me, it won’t last. A prettier girl will come along who he won’t be able to resist. I can’t even hate him for it. It’s just how he is.
My stomach knots at the thought of losing him, but I have to tell him about my feelings. If we can’t find a way around them, this thing between us is over. Drawing my robe together, I stand and head inside. I expect to find Tyler on the couch, flipping through TV channels as if he hadn’t been snooping, but the living room’s empty.
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