Begin Again (Saint Lakes #5): A M/M Fantasy Romance about Shifters and Vampires

by April Kelley

  Ramsey blocked Fane with his hands on either side of the wall and gave the three men his back. He turned his head to meet their gazes, though.

  "Rumor is you mated with a vampire, and I see that's true. Next clan meeting I'm going to petition for a new Alpha. One who's mated to a proper shifter."

  Ramsey was out of the booth and had his hand around Tim's throat before he could say anything else.

  He saw Gerold and Carl come at him even as he pinned Tim to the floor. One minute Fane was behind him and the next he was standing between the two shifters and Ramsey. The two men stopped their forward momentum and even backed up. They were more than likely stunned at seeing Fane jump over Ramsey and Tim. Fane had his hands up, protecting himself and preparing to fight all at once.

  Ramsey wanted to shift. Instead, he growled at Tim again right before he said, "Until challenged, I'm the Alpha, and you will respect me. And my mate." Ramsey bent down, getting inches from Tim's face. "Stay out of my way, cat. You'll live longer if you do."

  Ramsey let him go and then grabbed Fane around the waist. He lifted Fane off his feet and carried him out of the restaurant. To Fane's credit, he didn't fight the hold. His muscles grew lax until he dangled in Ramsey's arms.

  Fane's hair tickled Ramsey's neck when his rest on Ramsey’s shoulder.

  The second they left the restaurant, Fane whispered, "Feel better now?"

  No, Ramsey didn't and probably wouldn't ever again.

  Ramsey set Fane on his feet once they were in the relative safety of Garridan's store. Okay, it was technically a public place, but it wasn't nearly as busy as the diner. Garridan sold handcrafted furniture. His work was so good it drew humans and paranormals alike to Saint Lakes, which meant Ramsey's little display in the diner wasn't the smartest thing to do considering some of them could be humans oblivious to paranormals.

  Fane's gaze met his and Ramsey kissed him again, only it was a quick peck on the lips and not the deep fucking of their mouths like he wanted to do. Ramsey sighed and let Fane go completely.

  "You need to talk about me, right? With Garridan."

  Ramsey wasn't sure why he found Fane's honesty so sexy, but he did.

  "I need to talk about my lack of control around you. As the Alpha, I shouldn't have attacked Tim. I could have handled that better but I just...I overreacted." Ramsey ran a hand down his face. "I just need time to think."

  "Away from me?"

  "Yes...I don't know. All I know is I can't fucking stand anyone coming within two feet of you, and I want to wear you like a damn shirt all at the same time. And I have no fucking idea what to do about it. I have to do something because I'm the Alpha and Alpha's don't act like that. They certainly don't attack a clan member for speaking his mind, even if I didn't like what he said."

  Fane looked away, down at the floor and stood like that for long seconds. "Going away might be best. For a while."

  Ramsey wound his arm around Fane's waist. "I'd love to run away with you, but I have problems to fix. The one within myself is just one of them. I also have Nicolono Stavros to think about and preparing the clan for war. I can't leave."

  Fane pulled away, and Ramsey let him go. "I didn't mean you."

  Ramsey kissed him on the top of his head. "I'll fix it, sweet. I promise."

  Ramsey headed towards the back of the store. "Just hang out with Jules until I get back. Just going to talk to Garridan."

  Chapter Ten

  Fane looked at the furniture. The wood was beautiful and gleamed when the overhead light hit it just right. He ran his hand over a table that had fancy decorative legs on it. Garridan had given the wood a natural finish which gave it a slightly rugged look. The contrast with the legs was oddly beautiful.

  Jules leaned against a counter that sat against the far wall. He smiled when Fane walked over. "Hey."

  "Tell Ramsey I'm giving him time to think."

  Jules’ smile fell. "What are you going to do?"

  "I'm leaving. I won't be far. And I'll come to your mother's house to train you. In the evening. Meditate twice a day before we train and don't eat junk food. It clogs the mind."

  Jules opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again. He looked at Fane as if he lost his mind and Fane wanted to tell him he never had a normal mind, so losing it wasn't an issue, but he waited for Jules to collect his thoughts instead.

  "Ramsey wouldn't want you to leave, Fane. Not even to go somewhere close."

  "It's not for Ramsey to decide what I do. I have a choice, and I'm making it."

  "Not for good, right?"

  "No. Even if Ramsey doesn't choose me, I won't go far. Not until Angel and Forrest come back from their council duties. Even then I won't leave with them if you still need my help."

  "That's next month, I think." Jules' dark eyes widened.

  Fane just nodded. "Tonight we train. Tell the others."

  Jules nodded. "Okay. I still think it's a bad idea. It’ll piss Ramsey off, and he's been on edge even before he met you. Pretty sure Nicolono’s shit stresses him out. Anyway, making him mad is like pissing off a bull. He'll just keep charging over and over again until he gets what he wants."

  Fane shrugged. Ramsey didn't know what he wanted. The separation would help him figure it out even if he didn't like it. Fane rubbed at his chest. He'd need to meditate when he got to a safe location. As it was, electricity zinged through his head like lasers. Blue streaks crossed his mind and stayed. They'd keep coming if Fane let them.

  "I don't want to leave him, Jules."

  Jules put a hand on Fane's arm. "I get why you’re going. I'm just saying he'll hunt you down as soon as he learns you're gone."

  A giggle slipped past Fane's lips, giving away his nerves.

  "Maybe just go to Magnus' cabin. Magnus is on a mission for Ramsey, so no one's there. Well, I strongly suspect my mates are there, but I don't know for sure. I'm determined not to care. The assholes."

  "Which way to the cabin."

  Jules' eyebrows drew together. "I don't actually know. I can text Ladon. He'd know since Magnus is his mate. Talk about a forced separation." Jules shook his head. "Those two can't mate yet because Ladon hasn't had his first shift and it could mess him up physically if he mates beforehand."

  "I know about shifter physiology. I know why he can't mate." The explanation was a lengthy one and would take to long to explain, so he refrained.

  He turned and started for the door. "I'm leaving."

  "Don't you want directions?"

  "I'll follow the smell of your mates." Vampire's smelled like blood as if they bathed in it daily. Fane knew he carried that scent. Warlocks smelled like sulfur. Each was a distinctive smell, especially in a town filled with shifters. Fane would follow them without too much trouble.

  Fane headed out the door without another look back.

  He didn't know he needed a good run until he smelled the decay of leaves, dirt and green plant life. Training was one thing, but running was another. The years in prison and before that the lab took a toll all their own. He didn't fully realize what that toll was until the muscles in his legs stretched and bunched.

  The forest animals didn't make a sound as he zipped through the trees. The tree branches snapping against his skin didn't stop him either. After feeling so free, nothing could stop him.

  He forgot about his destination and let his thoughts run as free as his body. His mind became clearer as if running contributed to his healing the way biting Ramsey and continuous training had helped.

  He forgot about everything but the crunch of the dry, dead leaves under his feet and damp earth. He jumped over a dead log lying on the forest floor. The wood partially eaten by worms and bugs. Shards of jagged edges made up one end.

  And then the log was behind him like a memory.

  He caught the scent of some type of animal that was unfamiliar to him. Growing up with Sensei meant he was always in the dojo or the house. Both were on the outskirts of a large city where humans and paranormals took over
every available space. Animals were shut out with each building and the forest taken over by pavement.

  The city had its own movement. People and things moved around each other haphazardly, colliding and retracting. Everything blended with the other until the sounds fit together and they all made sense with the colors, buildings, and people.

  Fane had been comfortable with Sensei in the city. Sensei helped make everything okay.

  But the forest held a magic in the quiet. The chirps and clicks and the way the leaves fluttered when the wind blow through them drew him in as if asking him if he wanted a home.

  Ramsey's scent called to him in the same way. He had smelled like the trees and water, which was exactly how the entire town of Saint Lakes smelled. That's why Fane had to leave for a while. Maybe the gods needed Ramsey to lead Saint Lakes. Maybe it was bigger than Fane and Ramsey being together the way Fane craved.

  What if the choice that Ramsey had to make meant the life or death of the entire Saint Lakes clan?

  He couldn't be selfish and just take what he wanted again. He could think past his own need since being partially healed. He had to and so did Ramsey because that question was important and one wrong choice could shift things for everyone, not just them.

  That was the argument he'd make when Ramsey finally caught up with him. He'd make Ramsey understand and to think past the mating lust, which was what drove him.

  Fane felt it too. Their bond wasn't complete, and it sent Fane's mind into an overdrive of turmoil.

  Fane stopped running, slowing down by small degrees so he wouldn't fly forward. Being a vampire gave him speed so great, he had been told by his Sensei that he was a blur when he ran. The momentum that drove him forward would leave him unbalanced and topple him if he didn't slow down correctly.

  Looking around, he realized he had no idea where he was or how long he had been running. He closed his eyes and sniffed at the air but came up with nothing but the smells of the forest. Next, he concentrated on Ramsey, using the small amount of bonding he did have to judge how far away he was to Ramsey's location, hoping he was still in Saint Lakes and oblivious to Fane's leaving.

  Fane ran once he got a good sense of where Ramsey was, heading back the way he had come.

  Fane hunkered down, using the tall grass and bushes as cover when he saw Ramsey in the yard. Ramsey looked to be in a half shift. One of his arms looked like a gray fin, and all of his teeth were large and pointy, making his face look abnormal.

  Fane had never seen anyone in a half-shift before, but his experience with shifters consisted of a bobcat shifter at the lab, his time in Wingspan with Forrest and Angel, and the Saint Lakes clan.

  The bobcat shifter at the lab was his first. The humans did something to the shifter to make it impossible for him to shift. He only knew that because he had overheard two of the humans talking about it.

  No one shifted in Wingspan, keeping their human forms while they spoke of politics and merging councils. Things Fane didn't care about and hadn't paid much attention too. Instead, he had listened to the cadence of Forrest's voice, because he had done most of the talking.

  He found Ramsey with his odd look fascinating. Fane tried to reason it out in his mind as to how someone could shift half way but he couldn't come up with a plausible explanation.

  Ramsey roared, the lines on his face etched in anger. He prowled around the yard, pacing back and forth. Most of the family stood around with wide eyes.

  "Where’s Garridan," Ramsey's mother said to Lucas, who stood beside her.

  Lucas shook his head. "Not gonna help. He's way too pissed off. He won't listen to anyone. Every time I look in all I see is his image of Fane."

  Ramsey's mom narrowed her eyes. "Freeze him then."

  Lucas looked at her sharply. "I can't do that. He's the Alpha."

  "And I'm his mother. His temper tantrum has gone on long enough."

  Lucas sighed. "Okay," Lucas said something else after that, but Fane was too far away to hear it. As it was, he only heard their conversation because of his enhanced vampire hearing.

  One minute Ramsey paced and growled, and the next he was like stone.

  Ramsey’s mom came across the yard, standing in front of him. She had a fist balled up on her hip, and a finger pointed in Ramsey's face. Ramsey was a foot taller than her, at the very least, and the height difference made her look like a hobbit from the stories Sensei had read to him when he was a small child.

  "You will stop your nonsense, Ramsey Somerset. Right now."

  If Ramsey had anything to say to her demands, Lucas had trapped it inside his body.

  "When you calm down, you'll tell us what's going on. Not a minute before."

  Fane sighed. He’d have to come out of hiding if Ramsey was so angry he couldn't even explain his behavior to them.

  He lifted himself off the cold, wet ground and walked across the yard. Every one of Ramsey's family members watched him as he stepped up next to the mother.

  "I left. Ramsey's angry." As he spoke, he met Ramsey's gaze and held it.

  "Why?" The mother put an arm around Fane's shoulder. As families went, they all seemed to want to touch him for some reason. He didn't know why or if the touching had a deeper meaning. The mother was a witch, so it was possible the touch was her way of reading Fane, but he didn't feel her in his mind. He felt Lucas there and wasn't surprised by his presence because Lucas lacked patience and control. Instead of building the wall as he always had before, he let Lucas explore, showing him his past. It would teach him a lesson about curiosity and not snoop when someone expressly told him no.

  Unfortunately, the lesson was a hard one.

  Lucas cried out as if in pain, but Fane knew he shouldn't look away from Ramsey so that he couldn't see his physical reaction to Fane's memories. Someone growled, and Fane would bet it was Lucas' mate. Lucas left his mind a second later. "Oh my god."

  Fane didn’t address Lucas at all, focusing on Ramsey instead.

  "Ramsey needs time to think. Meditate. He's in a difficult position. His water monster wants to take over, but it's too primitive. Ramsey's more human side needs to understand and work through the problem." The next part he spoke directly to Ramsey. "I'm just giving you time to think. I'm not leaving you. I'll be at that cabin Jules mentioned. I'll help train, and we can talk when I do."

  Fane wanted to say so much more but didn't. Instead, he ran again, following the scent of sulfur and blood.

  Chapter Eleven

  There wasn't a moment that Ramsey didn't think about Fane. He stood in the yard, froze in more ways than one. His skin grew cold and with it, the stress of not knowing if his mate was safe, chilled his insides until pictures entered his mind of Fane in one type of horrible crisis after another. All hopes of Ramsey rescuing him went out the window the longer he stood in the middle of the yard, which just pissed him off the longer it lasted.

  He could smell Lucas and Mom coming out of the house. Lucas invaded his thoughts almost immediately. He heard Lucas suck in a breath almost immediately after snooping. The sound of the air entering Lucas’ mouth sounded louder than Ramsey expected, which spoke of his close proximity.

  He projected out the need to get to Fane, trying to be rational. Lucas wouldn't buy it, he saw his thoughts after all, but if he put off a false calm then Lucas would let him go. Hopefully, he'd get out of the hold before hypothermia set it.

  "He's not calm, mom."

  "No, but he's cold. We should let him go. He'll run after Fane. Fane might be small, but I have a feeling he's just about the only one who can handle Ramsey when he's like this."

  He was not irrational, damn it. Not the way his mother made him sound. What if Thomas and Hacen are at the cabin? They could hurt Fane. Or what if Fane got lost in the woods trying to find it. It was cold, and Fane could freeze to death.

  He projected out his thoughts to Lucas, pleading with him to let him go.

  "Fane is the best fighter any of us have ever seen, Ramsey. Those aren't my words
, but Garridan's. And you know Garridan can kick the ass of anyone, so it's gotta be true. He also gives off an aura that makes everyone in contact with him want to protect him. Fane will stay safe."

  Ramsey struggled against the hold. That wasn't the damn point. It was Ramsey's job to take care of Fane. Just his. No one else's. Fane was his. Only his.

  "Jeez, he practically going feral. He sounds just like Garridan did when his dragon was close to the surface. He had been all about Sage. Remember. He kept growling and saying how Sage was his. Same thing Ramsey’s shouting at me now."

  Mom's eyebrows came together, and she looked at him curiously as if he were something odd in an old time circus. He just wished they would stop talking about him as if he weren't there. Mom laid his hand on Ramsey's arm. Her touch warmed him in that spot, and he wanted to get closer to her, ask her to warm him with a hug like she did when he was a child.

  She entered his thoughts, and he didn't hold anything back from her. He wouldn't. Not from his mother. "You're right. His water monster is ruling him. Fortunately, we don't have the same problem with Fane as we did with Sage, so you can let him go." Mom looked directly at him. "You'll be good, Ramsey Somerset. No retaliation for freezing you or you'll have your brother out here and you two will be fighting. He's as protective of Lucas as you are of Fane."

  Lucas rolled his eyes. "Yeah, only Fane can kick some serious ass if he wanted. I can't do crap. Least not without more training sessions, so don't fuck it up with Fane. We all need him, so grovel or whatever and get him back home. Reign it in, Ramsey. Seriously. Damn."

  Lucas let him go after that, and it was everything in Ramsey not to go after Lucas. It wasn't Mom's warning not to that stopped him but the fears running through him. He needed to get to Fane as quickly as possible and attacking Lucas would delay him.

  He shifted the parts of his body that were his water monster. At least the parts he could. His skin itched on his shoulder and chest, which was a clear indication that he still had smooth leathery skin, although he didn't take the time to look.