KL04 - Katy's Decision

by Kim Vogel Sawyer

  Yvonne scurried over and delivered their drinks. “Food’s coming — Dad’s still gotta fry the bacon, then it’ll be out.” She took off again.

  Katy watched Yvonne go. She shrugged. “There will always be some who watch me, waiting to see if I’m picking up worldly habits.” Aunt Rebecca had been one of the worst ones, but since her illness she’d been less disapproving. Others who’d been uncertain seemed to follow her aunt’s example and relax too. “But knowing they’re watching probably isn’t such a bad thing. It makes me accountable to stay true to my convictions.”

  She inwardly cringed, recalling how close she’d come to bending her convictions when she’d been chosen as homecoming attendant. “I don’t do everything right,” she felt obliged to admit, “but I do my best. And I try to learn from my mistakes.”

  “That’s all any of us can do,” Jonathan said in a musing tone. “And have the kids at the high school been okay with you being there? Obviously, some of them are okay with it, or Shelby and you wouldn’t be such good friends, right?”

  Katy and Shelby exchanged a look and they both giggled. Katy could tell Jonathan lots of stories about how she was treated and how awful it felt to be the “weird little Amish girl” on campus. In the end, she said, “I’ll always stick out — I can’t help it. But the ones who matter most accept me being there. That’s all that matters.”

  “That makes sense.” Jonathan unwrapped a straw and jammed it into his milkshake. But then, instead of taking a drink, he leaned forward a little more and lowered his voice, as if unwilling to let any other patrons overhear him. “To be honest, the reason my dad sent me to spend the summer working for Dan was to give me time to ‘come to my senses.’ Maybe he even hoped I’d find out I liked harvesting corn and would set my sights on farming instead of stargazing.”

  He turned to the window, and it seemed to Katy he drank in the view of the sky over the roofs of the buildings across the street. Then he looked at her again. “But he didn’t figure on me meeting a girl who was spunky enough to ask permission to attend public high school and then actually follow through with it.” His smile warmed Katy from her head to her toes. “Now that I know your fellowship allowed you to go to public school, it’s inspired me, Katy. I —” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple visibly bobbing above the buttoned neck of his shirt. “I intend to ask to go on to high school too.”

  Shelby released a little squeal. Several people turned and looked in their direction, and she clamped her hand over her mouth for a moment. She shot an apologetic look at the other diners then reached across the table and squeezed Jonathan’s wrist. “That’s fantastic! Follow your dreams, Jonathan. There’s, like, this saying.” She scrunched her face, thinking. Her expression brightened. “Oh, yeah! ‘Aim for the moon; even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.’ “

  Jonathan smiled. “I like that. I’ll have to write it down and remember it.” He shifted his attention to Katy. “So what do you think?”

  Katy didn’t know what to say. She’d never imagined inspiring someone else to seek further education. The idea both thrilled and humbled her. Before she found words, Yvonne bustled over, balancing their plates on her arm. She slid their plates in front of them, removed a bottle of ketchup from her apron pocket and plopped it on the table, then asked, “Anything else?”

  “Looks fine,” Jonathan answered for all of them.

  “Holler if you need something later.” Yvonne shot off again.

  Jonathan’s eyes moved quickly between Shelby and Katy. “So …” He looked bashful all of a sudden. “Do you wanna pray on your own, or would you like me to …?”

  “Go ahead,” Shelby said.

  Jonathan bowed his head and offered a blessing for their meal. Even though it was short, he didn’t stammer over his words, and Katy believed it was sincere. Shelby and Jonathan immediately began eating, but Katy sat for a few moments, absorbing the significance of what had just happened. Although she’d seen Bryce and even Caleb bow their heads over their plates, she’d never heard them pray aloud. Seeing Jonathan willing to pray in a public place — even though it was just a short prayer of blessing — drew her to him. She admired him. And admiration went deeper than infatuation, she realized.

  “Katy, you want ketchup for your fries? “

  Shelby’s voice jerked Katy from her inner reflections. She nodded and took the bottle. By the time she’d lifted the first french fry to her lips, she’d set aside her wonder and was able to act normally again.

  Midway through eating, Shelby said, “Jonathan, you said you wanted to talk to Katy about two things. You already talked about school. What’s the other thing?”

  Katy wished Shelby hadn’t asked. She’d gotten the impression on Saturday that the second topic would be very serious. She’d lain awake far into the night, thinking about his expression and his solemn tone. All kinds of thoughts had tumbled through her brain, and she’d finally gotten out of bed and recorded all of it in her journal so she could set her anxiety aside. But now the various emotions rolled over her again, thanks to Shelby’s question.

  “He’s eating — he doesn’t have to talk now,” she said, hoping Jonathan might let the second topic die. After all, if he intended to ask if he could begin pursuing her as a potential beau, she’d have to say no. And she didn’t know if she’d have the strength to do it. He was becoming more appealing by the minute.

  Jonathan shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m glad Shelby said something so I didn’t forget.” He held a fry between his finger and thumb and used it to point at Katy. “It has to do with your desire to be a journalist.”

  Katy nearly wilted. But from relief or disappointment? She gave herself a mental kick and forced herself to focus on Jonathan’s next words.

  “I don’t know if you get the newspaper, but there’s an Amish woman from Quarryville who writes a daily column that’s printed in newspapers all over the United States.” His eyes shone with excitement. “She writes it by lantern light, in longhand at her kitchen table, and people are fascinated because it gives them a glimpse into the life of an Amish family.”

  Jonathan quickly stuck the french fry in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. “I was thinking … maybe you could do the same thing. Write articles for the paper in Salina about what it’s like to live on a dairy farm, where you don’t have a telephone or television, and you have to do chores by hand instead of with machines like other kids have.” He picked up his burger, but instead of taking a bite, he sat looking at Katy over the top of the half-eaten sandwich. “I bet people would find it interesting, and it’d give you a chance to practice doing what you want to do — be a journalist.”

  Katy stared at Jonathan, openmouthed. She’d never considered becoming a journalist without having a college degree. But surely that Amish woman didn’t have a college degree, and yet she was published. Nationally published, according to Jonathan. Her heart pounded in excitement. “Do you really think I could do it?”

  Shelby let out a hoot of laughter. “Think? Girlfriend, I know you could do it! You’re an awesome writer. I bet if you went into the office of the Salina Gazette and gave them some writing samples, they’d hire you on the spot.”

  Katy giggled self-consciously. She appreciated Shelby’s confidence, but she wondered if her friend was being completely realistic. A person didn’t get a writing job by just walking in and asking for it. Or did she? “I’d have to ask Dad,” she said slowly.

  Shelby grabbed her arm. “But you’ll do it? You’ll try?”

  Katy sucked in her breath and held it. She looked from Shelby’s hopeful face to Jonathan’s. She let out her air on a self-conscious giggle. “Yes. I’ll try.”

  “Awesome!” Shelby punched the air, earning another round of curious glances. But she didn’t act embarrassed this time. She snatched up her cheeseburger. “Oh, wow, Katy, I can’t wait ‘til you talk to your dad. And I want to go with you when you go to the newspaper office so I can watch you win them over.” She chomped dow
n on her burger then spoke around the bite. “Jonathan, that idea is beyond epic. I never would’ve thought of it. I am so glad you came to Schellberg.”

  Katy nibbled at her sandwich, her heart thudding wildly in her chest. Is this why he came to Schellberg? Not to be my boyfriend, but to send me on the path to the writing career God has picked for me?

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Everything’s balanced to the penny. Finally.”

  Katy turned from straightening the last row of cloth bolts and grinned at Shelby. Making the cash in the register drawer match with the books had taken the better part of Saturday morning. Of course, part of the delay was from taking care of a steady stream of customers. The fabric shop had always gotten its share of business, but it seemed since Aunt Rebecca’s illness people had made an even greater effort to purchase fabric and notions. Katy saw it as the community’s way of supporting her aunt, and she appreciated it. But the busy days also exhausted her.

  She balled her fist on her hip and pretended to scold her friend. “Well, now that it’s done, instead of sounding disgusted, you ought to be delighted.”

  “I’ll save my delight for when we visit the newspaper office and find out you’re going to be the next freelance columnist for the Salina Gazette,” Shelby said.

  Katy closed her eyes for a moment and allowed herself to imagine the newspaper editor giving an enthusiastic yes to her request. Since she and Shelby worked at the fabric store every day during the week, they hadn’t been able to drive to Salina yet, but — using Shelby’s cell phone — they’d done plenty in preparation.

  Katy’s debate and forensic coach from Salina High North, Mr. Gorsky, agreed to give her a recommendation; the editor scheduled a meeting with Katy on the coming Monday morning; and she and Shelby sorted through all of Katy’s essays from English class and her poetry journal for the best samples of her writing. And she’d prayed. She’d prayed with Dad and Rosemary, with Shelby, and in private more times than she could count.

  She bowed her head and released another heartfelt petition. If this is Your will for me, open wide the door, God.

  “You know,” Shelby said, intruding upon Katy’s thoughts, “it’s too bad we have to drive on highways to get to Salina. Wouldn’t it be cool to take the horse and cart? They could photograph you on the buggy and use that as your signature pic.” She giggled, her eyes crinkling with humor. “That’d sure capture attention!”

  Katy groaned. “Oh, no …”

  Shelby laughed. “‘Course, your little ribboned cap ought to be enough … so we can just go in the car, like we’d already planned.”

  “As if I’d change those plans!” Katy shook her head, picturing Shelby and her rolling down the highway in Caleb’s two-wheeled cart with Rocky pulling them. She sighed. “I just hope my writing is good enough.”

  “Your writing’s more than good enough,” Shelby said, warming Katy with her loyalty. “It’ll come down to whether they have the column space. But if they like the idea enough, they can make space.”

  Katy wondered if “making space” meant booting some other writer. She hoped not. She didn’t think she would be able to enjoy having her own weekly column if it meant someone else had lost their spot on the paper. She adjusted the final bolt and turned from the shelves. “Well, I think we’re done here. Want to grab some lunch at the café or just head to the house?”

  Shelby tapped her lips. “How about if we ask for sandwiches to go and take the cart to the pasture? I haven’t seen Saydee in two weeks.” She jolted, her eyes flying wide. “Katy, do you realize I’ve been here almost a whole month? My folks’ll be back in two weeks, and two weeks after that school will start again. This summer sure is flying by.”

  Katy thought about all the plans she and Shelby had made for their time together — calligraphy and quilting projects, lots of time with Saydee and Shadow … But instead they’d spent their weeks running the fabric shop. And it didn’t look as if things would change. Aunt Rebecca wasn’t handling the chemotherapy treatments well at all. She could hardly lift her head from the pillow and had lost so much weight she looked like a skeleton.

  The doctors had tried several different medicines to bring the nausea, tiredness, and muscle aches under control, but nothing seemed to help. Katy bit down on her lower lip, sympathy for her aunt rising alongside a selfish worry that constantly nibbled at her mind. Even if Aunt Rebecca’s chemo treatments ended tomorrow, when would she have the strength to take over the shop again? Katy was glad to help Aunt Rebecca, but she couldn’t help wishing she and Shelby would have been able to have a bit more free time. And she couldn’t help wondering about school.

  But at least for now they could have some fun. “Sure, we can do that,” Katy said. “Let me put the vacuum cleaner away, and then we’ll go next door.”

  Twenty minutes later Katy and Shelby climbed into the cart and headed for the pasture. They munched ham and cheese sandwiches, pickles, and potato chips while they rode beneath a clear blue sky. Hot wind dried the bread on the sandwiches and chased a few chips over the edge of the cart, but Katy didn’t mind. Being outside in the sun, with the breeze tossing Shelby’s hair and making Katy’s ribbons dance, left her feeling young and carefree. She savored the minutes.

  They turned the corner leading to the pasture, and Shelby poked Katy on the shoulder. She pointed. “Is that the Richter’s truck?”

  Katy squinted. “It sure looks like it.” Immediately, her palms began to sweat and her pulse tripped into a speedier beat. “Jonathan must be with the horses again.”

  “I wish we’d known he’d be out here. We could’ve brought him a sandwich,” Shelby said.

  Katy drew Rocky to a halt at the pickup’s tailgate and hopped down. She helped Shelby out and then they moved to the fence. Jonathan spotted them and walked in from the pasture. Saydee pranced along beside him, with Shadow close on Jonathan’s heels like a pair of overgrown dogs. Katy couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

  When they reached the fence, Shelby stretched her hand over the top line of barbed wire and cupped Saydee’s jaw. The colt nickered but didn’t pull away. Shelby laughed, running both hands over Saydee’s head and neck. “Wow! Look at this, Katy — she’s letting me touch her!”

  Katy watched, amazed and grateful. Jonathan’s time with the horses had created a tremendous change in the foal. She beamed at him. “You must’ve worked with her a lot.”

  Jonathan shrugged. “Oh, not so much—just for a few minutes on my lunch hour and a little more time in the evenings. It’s not so hard to get a horse to trust you if you start when they’re as young as Saydee.” He moved to the gate and let himself out. He ambled to Shelby’s side and reached across the top wire on the fence to give the colt’s ears a scratch. “I’ve gotten pretty attached to both Shadow and Saydee. Thanks for letting me hang around.”

  Shadow nosed Katy’s shoulder, and Katy laughed. She rubbed Shadow’s nose while she spoke to Jonathan. “Thank you for coming out. They’ve been pretty much neglected this summer, I’m afraid. I’m glad somebody could spend time with them. And …” She hadn’t talked to Jonathan since last Monday when he’d taken Shelby and her to lunch and planted the idea of writing a column about her Mennonite lifestyle. “Thanks too for telling me about that Amish woman. I have an interview with the special feature editor of the Salina Gazette on Monday to talk about the possibility of writing for the paper.”

  Jonathan’s face broke into a huge smile. He snatched off his bill cap, punched the air with it, then slapped it back into place. “That’s great, Katy! What time is your interview?”

  She crinkled her brow. Did he want to come along too? “Why?”

  “So I can be praying about it,” he said. “I’ll stop what I’m doing and pray while you’re in the interview, if you’d like. For God’s favor for you.”

  Tears pricked behind Katy’s nose. Dad and Rosemary had promised to do the same thing, but she wouldn’t have expected Jonathan — someone she’d only met and ha
rdly knew at all — to stop and pray for her. She blurted, “Why do you care so much?”

  His face blotched with pink, and he looked down while scuffing his boot in the dry grass. “You hope to be a journalist. ‘Hope deferred maketh the heart sick,’” he quoted. A funny little grin twitched his lips. “A girl as pretty as you should never be heartsick.”

  He thinks I’m pretty! Heat rushed to Katy’s face. She stared at the ground, willing her galloping heart to return to normal. “Th-thanks, Jonathan.”

  “So …” He waited until she peeked at him. “What time is that interview?”

  Katy giggled. She couldn’t help it. The happiness inside had to spill out. “Ten o’clock.”

  He adjusted the brim of his hat, smiling at her. “Ten o’clock. I’ll be praying—you can count on it. But now …” He slipped his hands into his pockets and inched sideways, moving toward the pickup truck. “I need to get back to work before Dan sends out a search party. See you, Katy …

  Shelby.”

  Shelby waved and went back to stroking Saydee. “‘Bye!”

  Katy took two steps toward Jonathan and held out her hand. “Wait!” He paused with the door open and one foot inside the cab. Katy dashed to his side. Breathless, she made a promise. “I’ll be praying for you too — to be able to follow your dream. You—you shouldn’t have a sick heart, either.”

  He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. His smile was all the response Katy needed.

  Sunday’s worship ended with a special time of prayer for Aunt Rebecca, this time for her strength to persevere. Kneeling next to Lori and Lola, Katy experienced the desire to wrap her arms around her cousins and offer them comfort. If it was hard for her to see Aunt Rebecca suffer, it must be excruciating for the twins to witness the changes in their mother.

  When the elders ended the service, Katy handed Shelby her crutches and they met up with Annika on the lawn. Annika gave Katy a quick hug and said, “I can’t believe how little I’ve seen you this summer. Do you think maybe you and Shelby could bring the cart over this afternoon? We could work on calligraphy letters or just hang out in the barn and talk.”