Abandoned Child

by Neale, Kitty

  ‘Mmm, maybe a brandy,’ Ruth breathed, her expression unreadable. ‘To remind me of Spain. A brandy on a warm night – nothing to beat it. You should try it some time – the cooling air against your hot skin. After all, there’s no hurry, is there?’

  ‘I’m certainly in no hurry,’ he said, liking the way things were going more and more. Then a devilish urge prompted him to add, ‘But don’t you need to get back to your daughter?’ He was pretty sure what the answer would be, as it was obvious Ruth cared far more for her career than her child.

  ‘God, no,’ she said, tossing her hair, exposing her collarbones and smooth shoulders. ‘Lorna can see to her. She’ll look after her for as long as we like.’ She gave him a direct look. ‘All night, if necessary.’

  ‘And do you think it might be necessary?’ asked Adam, hardly daring to believe his ears. ‘Do you think we should explore the world of personal contact in more depth?’

  Ruth pushed her wine glass forward so that her fingers brushed against his. A few drops of condensation fell from the stem onto his wrist, but he hardly noticed. ‘I’ve always wondered what the rest of this hotel was like,’ she said softly. ‘So it would be good research to find out, don’t you think? I really feel that would be very necessary indeed.’

  Adam had to stop himself from gasping. So Ruth could be as decisive in her private life as in business. This was going far faster than he’d imagined or, deep down, ever dared to hope. He stroked her fingers, her palm.

  ‘Then let’s go,’ he said. ‘We can order brandy later. Or anything you like. But let’s go at once. Ruth, I want you and I want you now.’

  Chapter Fourteen

  ‘It’s so good to see you!’ cried Lorna, hugging her cousin as the train pulled away from the platform at Margate Station. ‘You look great, fitter than ever.’

  ‘It’s all the dancing,’ Maureen said, pulling her little leather jacket tight against the early summer sea breeze. ‘I’m trying something new. Got to face it, you have a shelf life as a stripper, and I’m not going to be one of those washed-out has-beens forced to work the pubs with sticky floors. I’m diversifying. I’m learning burlesque.’

  ‘Really?’ said Lorna.

  ‘You haven’t got a clue what that is, have you?’ demanded Maureen. ‘Don’t look so horrified. It’s an art form. An entertainment. It’s much classier than stripping. You don’t really show much but you’ve got to be good at using these great big fans. It’s dead hard but once I’ve got the knack nothing will stop me, just you see.’

  ‘Oh, okay,’ said Lorna, not really any the wiser. The sun caught her hair, which, because she’d been outside so much as spring began to turn into summer, was more dark blonde than boring mousey brown. Her cousin, sharp-eyed as ever, noticed.

  ‘And look at you!’ Maureen exclaimed. ‘Lorna, this place suits you. Your hair is different, and you’ve lost weight. You’ve still got to do something about them clothes but I can help you there. But you’ve definitely changed for the better.’ Her expression grew sharp. ‘Is there a man on the scene?’

  ‘It’s all the haring round after Penny,’ Lorna protested. ‘She runs me ragged – not that I mind. You remember her, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, of course. Cute kid, big eyes, dark hair,’ said Maureen instantly, but she was not to be put off. ‘Come on, Lorna. Spill the beans. I know the signs.’

  ‘Don’t be silly!’ Her cousin was too much sometimes. ‘You know how upset I was when Richard left. I couldn’t imagine anyone else wanting me. And I’m still not over the divorce.’

  ‘Lorna Johnson, look at me,’ Maureen insisted, coming to a stop on the busy pavement. ‘You are a very attractive woman. Any man would be a fool not to see it. So don’t give me that. And if I’m not very much mistaken someone has seen it and you damn well know it.’

  Lorna couldn’t meet her cousin’s eyes, and turned to start walking along towards the seafront. Should she put into words what she’d only been dreaming about? It looked as if she wasn’t going to get much choice.

  ‘Right,’ she said slowly. ‘There is someone who’s really nice. He’s been giving me lifts up to see Mum and he’s been brilliant about it, he really has. You know what she’s like and … and he just listens to me. Doesn’t judge what I say, but listens. I’ve never known anything like it. There’s nothing more to it.’

  ‘Not yet, you mean,’ said Maureen perceptively. ‘But you’d like there to be.’

  ‘Yes,’ confessed Lorna. ‘I keep trying to pretend otherwise, but … I really like him. A lot.’ Suddenly it was all too much and her emotions overwhelmed her. Desperately she reached for her sunglasses to hide the tears. ‘It’s hopeless, I know it is. What if he does like me as much as I like him, and then we start talking about the future – I’ll have to tell him there isn’t one.’

  ‘But why?’ asked Maureen. ‘Come on, let’s sit over there on that bench. Can’t have you wandering around in a state. What’s the problem? Wish I had a problem like yours – nice kind man doing me favours.’

  ‘You don’t understand,’ sniffed Lorna, trying in vain to stem the flood. ‘I’ll have to tell him I’m a freak, and then he won’t want to know me.’

  ‘A freak?’ repeated Maureen. ‘You aren’t a freak, and I should know, I’ve seen a lot. You’re the least freaky person I know.’

  With difficulty, Lorna managed to calm herself. ‘Right,’ she said. ‘I’ve never told a soul this, apart from Richard. And of course Mum knows. But no one else. So you have to swear to keep it absolutely secret.’

  ‘Of course,’ said Maureen, worried now. ‘What the hell is the matter?’

  ‘It’s me,’ Lorna said, steadily now that she had made up her mind to tell the shameful truth. ‘I’m not normal. I’m not a proper woman. Not inside. So I can never, ever have children, and that rips me apart, I can’t tell you how much. I don’t have a womb, you see.’

  ‘What?’ gasped Maureen, shocked. ‘How can that be? How can you not have a womb?’

  ‘You see! You see!’ Lorna cried, tears flowing again. ‘Even you think it’s terrible. Everyone will laugh at me if they know. I hate myself, I hate it, I hate it.’

  ‘No, no, no,’ said Maureen, almost crying herself now. ‘You’re not terrible. This … this … condition, that’s what’s terrible. Oh, you poor thing. And you’ve been hiding that away for all this time.’ She reached out for Lorna’s hand – the one that wasn’t wiping away the tears.

  ‘Since I was a teenager,’ she gulped. ‘Mum took me to the doctor’s, wondered why my periods hadn’t started. That’s how they found out. Told me I’d never have them, because I didn’t have a womb. Born without one. It can happen, just not very often. But it happened to me.’

  ‘No periods, well, that’s a consolation,’ said Maureen, trying to make light of it.

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘Not much of one. Because I really, really wanted children. Every time I see a baby it reminds me that I can never have my own.’

  ‘And you’d be a brilliant mother,’ sighed Maureen. ‘Look at how you are with that kid – sorry, Penny. Anyone can see how good you are. Oh Lorna, that is so unfair.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Lorna. ‘Yes it is. And I hate to speak ill of my friend, who’s also my boss, but she doesn’t give a fig about her daughter. She doesn’t deserve her. Why could she have a baby and not me? It’s just not right.’ She stopped, exhausted.

  Maureen gave a rueful laugh. ‘You don’t have to apologise to me over her. I know exactly what she’s like and you’re too good to be working for her. She won’t ever give a stuff for anyone but herself. So it’s just as well that Penny does have you or she wouldn’t get no love at all.’

  ‘You’re probably right,’ admitted Lorna. ‘But it doesn’t solve this mess. I don’t know what to do. Mum always insisted I should never tell anybody, and turns out she was right, because when I told Richard he left me.’

  Maureen thought about that for a moment. ‘Okay,’ she said finally. ‘Okay, but
you’d been married for a while, right? You didn’t tell him before? So what really hurt him was the deception.’

  Lorna nodded, keeping her gaze on the scuffed ground at their feet.

  ‘So, if this is going to get serious with … with …’

  ‘Robert.’

  ‘Robert. If he’s as lovely as you say he is, then you can’t let him go. God knows good men are hard to find. If you want a future with this Robert, then you got no choice.’ Maureen waited until her cousin met her eyes. ‘Lorna, you’ve got to tell him.’

  Ruth stared at the ceiling, watching the patterns made by the curtains blowing in the slight breeze. She was loath to get up. Despite the fact that she had plenty to do in the office, she decided she deserved to relish the rare chance of a lie-in. Although this wouldn’t be the first time recently that she’d woken up in a plush hotel.

  Who’d have thought it, she mused, even as part of her mind noted the décor and sleek modern lines of the furniture – most likely Habitat. Even the curtains were delicate cream panels, not common old nets. Who’d have thought she and Adam would get along so well in bed? She’d planned to play it cool that first night but had got drawn into the sparring over the dinner table, and then against all odds had realised that she was really enjoying herself and that there was a genuine spark between them.

  What had been a spark in the dining room became a blistering blaze once they’d reached the bedroom. They’d barely made it through the door before tearing each other’s clothes off, both desperate to feel the other’s skin. They’d made love on the carpet, in the bed, in the shower. They’d hardly slept. It had been incredible and her body had known nothing like it. When dawn had broken and they ceased at last she had collapsed, exhausted but completely exhilarated.

  Since then they had repeated the experience several times a week, always trying a new hotel. Mostly they had stayed in town but on a couple of occasions they’d gone as far as a country house, away from it all, when they had to drop any pretence that they were only meeting up to impress the movers and shakers of Margate. That had been purely for themselves, to explore this wonderful new element in their lives, to revel in the other’s body and to give in entirely to pleasure.

  Ruth shook her head, happily amazed at what had happened to her. To think that she’d endured all those revolting slobbery advances from Vincent Chase, that possessive bully. Then Kevin Dolby – at least he had been good-looking, but what a let-down he had been. Laurence, her late husband, had been mercifully undemanding, thanks to the difference in their ages. As long as she’d looked good, he had basically been happy. And that’s what she’d been doing ever since, looking her impressive best, trading her appearance for her own advantage.

  Now Ruth’s perspective had shifted. She wouldn’t call it love – no, that was reserved strictly for herself and her all-consuming ambitions. But she loved what Adam did to her and it seemed he loved what she did to him right back. It was a powerful combination and she had the sense that it would take them far.

  A good-looking man with his own business, who was prepared to help her build her own – could life get any better? If only she were truly free to do this more often. Lorna had begun to ask questions and Penny had been making comments about people staying in hotels. Ruth didn’t know where the girl had got this from but it only made her more irritated with her daughter. Things would be so much simpler if she simply weren’t around. Just a little longer and with a few more clients, maybe she would have enough to send the child away to school. Or, better still, if she could combine her income with the assets Adam must have …

  She heard the shower being turned off and the bathroom door swung open, revealing Adam wrapped in a small white towel.

  ‘That’s not big enough to cover anything,’ she purred, throwing back the covers. ‘So you might as well take it off and come right back here.’

  Adam didn’t need to be told twice.

  Joe was sweating as he put down the phone. He’d deliberately gone to a pub where no one would know him, busy enough so there was a background hum of noise to cover his conversation but not so packed that he’d have to stand close to anyone to make the call. It wasn’t something he wanted people to overhear.

  He’d put off doing anything with the information he had on Adam Mortimer for as long as he could, wanting to enjoy Margate while it lasted. But now he was under a lot of pressure to repay his debts and the time had come to act. He’d just managed to persuade his most frightening creditor that he had a failsafe way of getting the money but only by promising it by the end of the week. God, he deserved a drink for that. It had been the most terrifying conversation of his life.

  Gulping down half of the welcome pint in one go, Joe pondered his next move. Should it be by phone, by letter or in person? The latter, he decided. It wasn’t as if he was going to hide his identity. And he didn’t think Mortimer had it in him to be physically violent, and even if he did, he was confident that he could beat him. He had to hit him hard where he was most vulnerable and that was easy to spot. His reputation.

  Joe had astutely guessed that Mortimer was nothing like as solidly respectable as he liked to make out. From his few visits to the office he could see how busy the man was – not very. That agency must be on very shaky ground, he thought, and one rumour about Mortimer’s reliability could well ruin him. He’d never risk it. He might be all cheerful and hearty but Joe was willing to bet he was a coward underneath.

  So it was a question of when would be the best time to pay a call. It would have to be when he was the only one in the office. Joe knew another agency occupied the other part of the premises, as he’d often seen a quiet-looking man behind a desk there. Uncle Denis said it was run by a very glamorous woman, but he’d never seen her, much less done any work for her – that was his uncle’s territory. But they had both better be out when he went round. Thinking about it, maybe that was who Mortimer was out to sabotage – they’d be direct rivals in the property management side of his business. But would he really be so stupid as to try to ruin someone he shared an office with? Yes, decided Joe, he probably would.

  Joe vaguely remembered there was another pub nearly opposite the side entrance to the agency office, which would serve his purpose very well. Better not have any more to drink though, he chided himself. Don’t want to blow it. Afterwards would be a different story, but for now he needed a clear head. Reluctantly he pushed away his glass, leaving some beer still unfinished. There would be time enough for all that later.

  ‘Can I have a dress like yours?’ Penny demanded, fascinated by Maureen’s brightly coloured smock.

  ‘Not sure that they do them in your size, pet,’ said Maureen, grinning at the cheeky little girl, ‘but if we see one you can try it on. How’s that?’

  ‘All right,’ said Penny, who wasn’t one to complain about things she couldn’t change. She was having a great day, showing Lorna’s cousin around all her favourite places. ‘Look, that’s the best ice cream van. Shall we have some? They do flakes and everything.’

  ‘I see what you mean about being run ragged,’ Maureen said as she allowed herself to be dragged along. ‘And talk about emptying your purse! How do you do it?’

  ‘Well, you don’t have to say yes to everything she asks you for,’ Lorna pointed out. She found it highly entertaining to see her tough-as-nails cousin having rings run round her by a child. ‘She’s right, though, those ice creams are the best in town.’

  ‘Better have some to check then,’ said Maureen, reaching for her handbag. ‘Ninety-nines all round, is it?’

  ‘Yes please,’ said Penny. ‘Sometimes we come here with Robert and he lets me have one of those too. He says there’s nothing to beat them, not even in London.’

  ‘Does he indeed?’ said Maureen archly, passing the ice creams around. ‘Not likely … oh, no, I take it back.’ She beamed in delight. ‘These are bloody lovely, whoops, don’t repeat that, Penny. This Robert must be a man of taste.’ She pulled a face at Lorna, wh
o didn’t rise to the bait.

  ‘Don’t you have proper ice creams in London, then?’ asked Penny, fascinated. ‘What do you eat there? Can I come and stay with you and find out?’

  ‘Steady on, Penny,’ said Lorna. ‘Maureen has to work all day and can’t be looking after you all the time.’

  The girl’s face fell.

  ‘Not yet, anyway,’ Maureen added hastily, not wanting to upset the child. ‘Tell you what, you come when you’re bigger. By then I’ll have a flat with enough room for you to stay. Do we have a deal?’

  Lorna shook her head at Maureen’s indulgence but Penny nodded, her expression totally serious. ‘Deal,’ she said.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Adam sat at his desk with his head in his hands, unable to believe what had just happened. How had a day that had started so spectacularly well ended up like this? Where had he gone wrong?

  Groaning, he looked up and realised he was still shaking. To have been threatened like that by someone he’d trusted had shocked him deeply. Should he have resisted more strongly? It was humiliating enough that he’d been so open to attack, worse to think he’d had no real means of fighting back. Yes, he could always go to the police but the damage would rebound on him. He’d put so much effort into creating the image of a successful estate agent who inspired trust – one well-placed bad word could bring it crashing down. Why hadn’t he seen it coming?

  Slowly, Adam levered himself out of his chair. Joe hadn’t laid a hand on him – he hadn’t had to, not after he’d explained what he wanted and why. But the rush of terror had made his legs turn to jelly and he could barely walk. Step by tentative step he made his way to the kitchenette and filled the kettle, which seemed extraordinarily heavy to lift. Searching for a clean mug he managed to knock over two plates, which shattered on the linoleum. The sound echoed painfully in his ears but he was too drained even to jump.

  Clutching his mug of black coffee, he returned to his desk, pulled open the bottom drawer and delved into the back of it until he found what he was after. Adam had kept a bottle of single malt in there and barely touched it, thinking it would be for emergencies only – but he hadn’t imagined an occasion such as this. He sloshed some into the bitter coffee, reflecting that his lack of sleep hadn’t helped. He hadn’t exactly been at his most alert when Joe had found him alone in the office.