by Lovell, Dani
I lift my head from Oliver’s open palm, the position I have resumed every time I rest at his bedside, and I stand to stretch as I look at his face. Yes, his eyes are still mercilessly bruised, but his handsome features just shine right through that. He’s perfect.
I smile and bend to have a closer look, loving him so dearly. “Good morning, handsome,” I whisper, very quietly so as not to wake his parents. They are so in need of a good night’s sleep in the comfort and warmth of their own home and bed. They shouldn’t have to be sleeping sporadically on these hideous, faux leather powder blue chairs. “It’s super early, I think, everyone else is still asleep. How are you feeling this morning? You look so handsome.”
I stare at him, swearing I can notice something different about him, but there really is nothing, it’s all exactly the same as it has been since he got here on Friday. It seems like a lifetime. I wish I could pull the oxygen mask off his face, but the nurses are the only ones to have moved that thing. It must be so stuffy under there.
I take the moment as an opportunity to speak privately with Oliver. We’d never have gone this long without discussing something sexual, and if he can hear, he’ll definitely be wanting some. I wonder if people in a coma can get erections? Oh well, we’ll soon see. Oh… but he has a catheter - would that hurt? I suppose I’d rather have some sign that he’s here and listening, and I’m pretty sure it won’t happen anyway.
“Hey, sexy - while everyone is asleep, I want to tell you how much I miss your nakedness. I can’t wait to get you back and take you home. Then we can lay together in bed, and you can make long, hard, sexy love to me all night. In fact, I’m going to take a whole month off work, just so I can take care of you, and spend as much time as is physically possible, in bed with my husband.”
I imagine he’s smiling. He’s not, but I can imagine it, I know he’d love this, he’d love to be having a secret, naughty, loving conversation in private… no wait… my heart beats rapidly, thumping in my chest… he is smiling! Under that oxygen mask - he’s smiling! He’s smiling! Holy fuck… And as if he’s trying to tell me it’s not all in my imagination, what happens next absolutely astounds me and I cry out in excitement, squeezing his hand.
He chuckled.
He chuckled! In that gorgeous, sleepy, sexy way he always has. My gorgeous, beautiful, handsome husband just chuckled at me! “Oh my god!” I cry, loudly, tears running down my cheeks, “Oliver! Oliver! Do that again, oh my god, darling, please do it again!” I hold his hand as Emily and Edward jump out of their chairs, startled by my shriek. They rush immediately to my side.
“He smiled and he laughed! Oh my god, he laughed!”
“What?” Emily cries, throwing her hands over her mouth, “Oh, darling, my baby boy! You’re coming back! I knew you would, you listen to your old mum. Oh, Oliver!”
Edward stands silently, tears filling his eyes, one hand covering his lips, and he suddenly charges over to the door and shrieks for Bea and the doctor or nurses.
They all come immediately, and quite expectedly, we don’t see anything else, they just make notes and tell us it’s all the typical type of thing for a coma, but that it’s all positive, especially at this time - having been weaned off the drugs.
So of course, we call Tilly and Luke and proceed to sit by his side, watching him intently for any signs that he might be coming back, all of us slightly giddy and excited. They say nothing else may happen, but I refuse to believe it. It will, he will move, he will come around, he really will, and this is the start of it! This is the most significant movement he’s made so far.
After a while of everyone crowding around the bed, with Oliver making no more developments, Daniel and Luke decide to go and get us all drinks and something to eat. Bea and Tilly chat, quietly to each other and I sit at his bedside, with his mum. We talk comfortably for a while, enjoying wonderful memories that we have both shared with Oliver.
As I face her, discussing his incredible ability to cook a delicious Gumbo, I notice her concentrating on Oliver, and suddenly, her eyebrows raise, and she nods her head at him, gesturing for me to look, urgently.
I turn quickly to look at his face, and he’s frowning again, and I stand out of my chair suddenly, watching. Emily grabs my arm and points to his left hand that neither of us is holding, bizarrely, and he’s curled his fingers - running his thumb over his wedding band.
I throw my hand over my mouth as I watch him, he’s still frowning and clearly concentrating on what he’s wearing on his hand.
“Oh my gosh, Oliver, yes - it’s your wedding ring, your wedding ring that means you’re married to me. Do you remember us getting married, in Vegas? The day after my birthday?”
I watch him, desperately hoping for a reaction, and my heart leaps for joy as I see a smile beneath the mask. He’s frowning, smiling and touching his wedding ring! This is incredible! This is a sign, he’s reacting, his face is reacting to both everything I’m saying and what he’s doing.
The doctors come in yet again, and this time they can see for themselves. He’s still doing it! His eyelids flutter a little when the nurse asks him a question, but they don’t fully open, and fairly soon, he’s drifted back into his deep sleep again.
We are told again that this is very positive, especially as he is connecting movements and clearly responding to thought and voices. I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am that my Oliver might be coming back. I’m praying to God that he will remember me, remember that we are married and in love… I couldn’t bear having to convince him and possibly having to lose him because he doesn’t feel the same way as he did before - but - that would be worth it, just to have him here again, alive, kicking and smiling. Having his parents be able to talk to their boy, his sister able to share her life and friends with him again, as they always have.
Again, we all sit, excitedly, chatting away so that Oliver feels completely at home; this is how it would be on a Sunday when we’re all invited over to his parents’ house, and he loves that. So I think this is an ideal situation for him, and a lot easier for us now that we have something to cling on to, and it’s not the first thing, it seems he’s really on his way back.
~~~~~~~
Over the next few hours, he continues to make progress, slight movements here and there, small facial expressions; he laughed again which absolutely swelled my damaged heart, healing it a little more. I have never been in a situation even close to this one, and it’s been so incredibly difficult that the joy and hope I’m experiencing right now is indescribable. I wish I could find words for it, I want to try to make everyone understand and feel this incredible emotion. It may be premature, but I’m not celebrating his return, I’m celebrating his progress, he’s working so hard and I know he can do it, I know my Oliver. He’ll be back.
CHAPTER 20
THURSDAY 22ND AUGUST
“Darling,” Oliver’s deep, sleepy voice stirs me. “Darling,” he says again, his fingers moving against my face.
“Hmm?” I respond, still asleep.
“Talk to me…”
“Okay,” I whisper, sleepily, enjoying his fingers on my skin.
A couple of moments pass before I stir again, opening my eyes and I sit bolt upright to look at Oliver, not quite knowing if that was a dream or if Oliver was just talking to me. His eyes are closed, so I could easily have been dreaming, and Emily and Edward are still asleep so I must have been… mustn’t I?
I sit back down again and put my cheek back in his hand, all the while staring at his face to see if anything changes.
“That’s better,” he mumbles, making me gasp and sit up again.
“Oliver?” I whisper, hoping with all of my being that he’ll respond, and I’m overjoyed when he does.
“Morning, gorgeous girl,” he says, huskily, the oxygen mask still covering his face, muffling his voice, and his eyes blinking open, slowly.
“Oh, Oliver, I love you, I love you, I love you. Are you hurting? Are you okay?”
; “Hmm?” he asks, his eyes closed again. “I’m okay… what’s happening?” His voice is slow and croaky, and he swallows hard, wincing as he does.
“Emily, Edward!” I call, waking them before continuing to talk to him. “You’re in the hospital, darling. You fell at work and now you’re here. Your mum and dad are here, and Bea is outside with Daniel.”
Emily rushes to his side to see what’s going on. “Darling? I’m here, I’m here, Oliver,” she says, desperately.
He smiles slightly under that mask, his eyes still closed. “Hi, mum. Hi dad.”
“Oh gosh, hello my darling, darling boy! You’re back! Oh I love you so much!” she cries, tears pouring down her face.
“Oliver, I can’t tell you how good it is to hear your voice, son. Are you in any discomfort?” Edward asks, tears in his own eyes.
Oliver frowns and exhales deeply, moving his neck slightly, as if to get comfortable. He moves his hand until he finds mine and squeezes it tightly before drifting back into sleep.
~~~~~~~
The next few hours are tearful and monumental. We cry together, a huge sense of relief that he can talk, he can understand and respond to us, he knows us. He stays asleep for a long time, stirring every now and again and smiling or groaning, the nurses now here constantly to monitor his progress.
Every time he has woken, he has said something… usually directed at me and then fallen quickly back into sleep. This is to be expected apparently, and as much as I want him to wake up - I’m just over the moon that we’re getting this kind of response from him. He can answer questions. He can tell us if something isn’t comfortable.
Apparently, we’re likely to see more and more of this type of interaction from him, and he should gradually be alert for longer and longer, each time he wakes, and thus far, this is what’s happening. It’s the most profound relief I think anyone could ever experience. From feeling one moment that he’s going to die or even be dead, to the next thinking he may never come out of this coma - to now, nearly a week later, his incredible progress and determination to get back here and stop our hearts breaking.
He is so strong. I love him more than life itself, and when he’s home, I’m going to apologise every minute of the day for not allowing him into my life as a lover, sooner.
CHAPTER 21
FRIDAY 18TH OCTOBER
“Darling, can you help me with these cuff buttons, please?” Oliver asks, and I leave the bathroom with my mascara wand, mid-application, to help him. I hold the wand in my teeth as I fasten the buttons at his shirt cuffs.
“You look gorgeous,” I say, taking my mascara from my mouth, resting one hand against a peck and standing on tip-toes to kiss him.
“So do you beautiful lady, how long until you’re ready?”
“Um, about ten minutes. Do you need any more help with anything?”
“Nope, you go and finish off; I’ll make my way down the stairs and wait.”
“Okay, be careful.”
“Will do, worry wart,” he says with a grin and I head back into the bathroom to finish my face.
Tonight we’re out to celebrate Bea and Daniel’s Birthdays and it’s Oliver’s first evening out since the accident. We’re taking it very slowly and will probably leave early, but we both want to attend and I think it’s quite a milestone for Oliver.
He’s done so well over the last couple of months, his recovery has really exceeded the doctors’ and neurosurgeons’ expectations. He was moved very shortly after he woke from the coma to the rehabilitation unit at the hospital and from there he came on leaps and bounds and he was able to come home with me, provided I could care for him properly, which I have been.
He regained control of his body miraculously quickly, his walking was a little wobbly so he has been having physiotherapy to help with it and it is coming along so well, he’s a little slow on his feet, but it’s getting better with each and every day. His headaches are frequent, but he’s getting used to them and they are also depleting somewhat, too.
As the doctors predicted, he has absolutely no recollection of the accident, whatsoever, and I think I prefer things that way. He doesn’t even have nightmares. He hasn’t been back to work, and they’ve carried on fantastically without him, but hopefully returning to work and experiencing that environment won’t bring anything back for him except his love of what he does.
A few days after his first few words, he had progressed to being fully awake, although rather tired. It was so wonderful to have him back and be able to converse with him the way we always have. We were all able to go home and get washed and changed regularly, knowing he was on the mend, without having to worry, which meant I got quite a bit of time on my own with him.
I remember so clearly those first few conversations we had, and the one in which he told everyone in the room how in love with me he was. It was so emotional, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house, I was a total mess! We had a long talk with his parents about everything, giving our reasons for keeping quiet, and luckily, they were fully on board.
Once Oliver was out of the hospital, I invited my parents over and told them everything, too. It was as I had expected, they were happy for me but it was almost as if I’d told them I had won £10 on the lottery, “Oh really, dear? That’s nice, good for you.” They stayed for tea and cake but had to leave to get back so that they had enough time to do today’s crossword before dinner. Uh huh.
We decided to exchange rings when everyone was there, we removed our old bands and slid the rings on each other’s fingers, expressing our love for one another as we did. Again, a hugely emotional moment, one that had Tilly sobbing like a baby, so uncharacteristically! I think love and motherhood has softened her tremendously, whilst still keeping that gorgeous, fun girl that we know and love, ever so present.
I told him that his surprise inscription had tipped me over the edge when I saw it, and he simply smiled and apologised… apologised! Apparently he arranged an appointment at that specific jeweller because he had done research to find one that could do the fingerprint inside. He wanted to keep it a surprise and had gone back over to the shop to arrange it on another day, while I was at work, which is why they took so long to get to us. I can’t get over how thoughtful that was of him. I really have the most wonderful husband in the world.
I leave the bathroom and slip my black heels on, ready to leave for the party. I find my clutch and put all of the necessary things inside, ready to head downstairs. I’m suddenly taken by surprise by two gorgeous, strong arms, wrapping around me, hands resting on my tummy.
“You look beautiful,” he says, nuzzling his nose and lips into my neck, swaying with me.
I grin and close my eyes, holding my free hand against his. “Mmm, thank you. So do you. I thought you were downstairs.”
“No, I decided to stay up here with you. I’m looking forward to our first official evening outing as husband and wife.”
“Oh, me too! And I’m looking forward to our first trip out since the accident. This means you’re back. We’re together and I don’t need to worry about you. Though I always will, of course.”
“As I will about you. It’s natural when you love someone. So, shall we make a move? You sure you’re happy to drive?”
“Yeah of course, why wouldn’t I be? It’s not like I can drink…” I say with a huge, elated grin.
He squeezes me that little bit tighter and chuckles into my neck. “That’s right, I still can’t believe it happened so quickly.”
“Me neither,” I say, turning in his arms and wrapping mine around his neck, kissing his lips. “I feel like the luckiest girl alive. I have my Oliver and now I have a very tiny, very new, little baby growing in there. Thirty five weeks to go until we get to meet our own little Wriggler.”
“You’re not as lucky as me, I get to look at you every day and watch you bloom.”
“Aw. Thank you. I love you so much, Oliver. You’re my world, you know that don’t you?”
“I do.
And you are mine. My life would never have been so whole, had we not done what we did in Las Vegas. There’s no way I would have left you, darling, I would have come out of that coma kicking and screaming if I could have, just to be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I will never be able to look after you as amazingly as you have for me, but I swear on anything that I hold dear, that I will protect you from harm, shelter our baby, and love you with all of my being, until we’re old, wrinkly and grey. My sexy wife… my gorgeous girl.”
TWO MONTHS LATER
WEDNESDAY 18TH DECEMBER
ALEXIA
Aspen. It’s such a beautiful place to spend Christmas, and this year, we’re here again with a very large and extremely fun crowd, much like last year.
Sadly, Clare and Oliver weren’t able to make it over, understandably so; they’re nervous about Oliver flying only a few months after his brain injury, and what with Clare only fourteen weeks pregnant with twins, she just wanted to stay in her home and rest over the Christmas period, worried about being so far away with such precious cargo, and who can blame her after the trauma she went through, thinking she might lose her husband.
That was a very unusual vacation for me; the start was wonderful but of course when Oliver had his accident, it was so horribly disturbing. I can only hope I did for Clare, what she needed at the time. I felt pretty useless to be honest.
When I found out that they had gotten married, I was absolutely shocked! Along with everyone else, it seems. We were right there in Vegas with them and nobody noticed anything! Good for them, they clearly love each other dearly; I think it was obvious, it was just a matter of time before they found each other properly.
