Wolf of her Own

by N. J. Walters

  Her body was alive in a way it never had been before. It wouldn’t take much on Mikhail’s part to talk her into bed. That scared her more than if he’d attacked her.

  Mikhail was dangerous to her peace of mind and her heart. He was a male werewolf, and she was the only single female around. Like a cold bucket of water being thrown on her, that thought brought her back to reality.

  She stepped back, and he let her. She was vaguely disappointed when he dropped his hand back by his side. Her neck was still warm from his touch, and it took every ounce of discipline she possessed to keep from touching the sensitive spot.

  Her mating mark, which she loathed, was still there. Mikhail had brushed it with his thumb as he’d released her.

  “That can’t happen again,” she informed him.

  His frown deepened. “I know you’re attracted to me.”

  “You’re horny, and I’m convenient.” She was as blunt as she knew how to be.

  He closed his eyes briefly, and she could see him struggling with himself. She really should have been more afraid than she was. The fact that she wasn’t was almost as disturbing as their kiss.

  He walked up another step. She moved away, but he followed until her back hit the front door. Mikhail planted his hands on the wooden panel on either side of her head. He leaned down until their lips were almost touching.

  “I’ve got to tell you, Elise. There’s nothing at all convenient about you or what’s between us.”

  Chapter Two

  Mikhail knew he was pushing Elise too hard, too fast. He took a deep breath and then another. She was watching him like a kid might a roller coaster—both with longing and fear in her eyes.

  He wanted her former mate alive again for five minutes—so he could kill the bastard. The fact that she’d been hurt and he hadn’t been able to prevent it ate at his soul. It didn’t matter he hadn’t even known she’d existed back then. Emotions weren’t logical, especially his when it came to this woman.

  Her lips were moist and plump from their kisses. His dick, which was already swollen and hard, seemed to grow even larger. When he leaned forward, it pushed his erection against her stomach, letting her know how much he wanted her.

  Like she hadn’t already been able to see for herself.

  She was bundled up in a quilt and nightgown. He could see the hem of the delicate garment peeking out from beneath the heavy cover. He curled his fingers against the door. His wolf surged forward, and his nails elongated, digging into the wood. Mikhail fought for control.

  He’d spent most of his life alone. Even his love for his younger sister hadn’t been able to fill the void that existed inside him. He’d spent years hiking in the wilderness, physically challenging himself in every way he knew how, rather than look into the emptiness at the center of his soul.

  All that had changed the second he’d laid eyes on Elise. Humans would scoff at the idea of love at first sight. But this went deeper than just love. She was as necessary to his survival as air and water and food. He knew if he had to leave the pack and Elise, he’d never be able to outrun the pain and longing.

  “Don’t be afraid of me,” he murmured. He lowered his head and rubbed his cheek against hers. Elise’s skin was soft and cool, and he caught a hint of lavender from whatever soap or lotion she used.

  “I’m not.” Her tart reply made him smile, but he hid it from her. She was shivering, and he knew it wasn’t from the cold. She was a full-blooded werewolf. The early morning chill wouldn’t bother her at all. She was afraid of what he made her feel, but she hadn’t run.

  That gave him hope.

  He nuzzled her jaw, enjoying the differences between them—his stubbled chin and her smooth one. He kissed his way up to her ear, heard her breath catch. Then one of her hands curled around his shoulder.

  He froze, every inch of his body turning to living stone. Was she pushing him away or pulling him closer? He sniffed but couldn’t smell a surge of fear. He almost growled when he caught the lightest scent of arousal.

  His wolf wanted to roll in it until it saturated every cell of his body. Mikhail knew he had to go slowly or he risked losing what ground he’d gained. This was the closest he’d ever gotten to Elise.

  “You’re not a convenience to me.” That she could even think that angered him. He wasn’t angry with her, but with her former mate. Elise had no idea just how attractive and alluring she was. And he wasn’t just talking about physically, although thinking about having her lean, muscled body naked beneath his had kept him up many nights.

  No, he was drawn to her kindness and loyalty. Her gentle smile and the way she cared for every member of the pack. Many of them called her Miss Elise. Not because she was older, but as a sign of respect. There was something regal in the way she held herself, but she wasn’t the least bit cold or standoffish. No, she was all warmth and beauty.

  “Then what am I?” Her simple question made his heart hurt. He wanted to tell her all the things he’d just listed in his own mind but knew she wasn’t ready to hear them. Not yet.

  He kept it simple. “You’re a beautiful, attractive woman.” He slid his fingers over her scalp. The braid frustrated him, keeping him from truly gripping her hair. It would have to satisfy him for now. Her hair was a silky brown mass with only a few silver hairs showing.

  He caught the lobe of her ear between his teeth and lightly nipped. She sucked in a breath and tightened her fingers on his shoulder. He swallowed heavily. He longed to have her put her arms around him. It didn’t matter that there were layers separating them and they wouldn’t be skin to skin like he’d always fantasized.

  One step at a time.

  “I want you.” He would be nothing but honest with her. It might frighten her, but anything else would make her distrust him. “And I know you want me,” he continued, even when she stiffened against him. “I can scent your desire.”

  …

  What was she doing? Mikhail had her totally confused. Usually when he got too close to her, she walked away. But she hadn’t done that this morning when she’d had the chance.

  Even now, as aroused as he was, she knew all she had to do was push him away and he’d leave.

  A part of her wanted to know what it would be like between them, but fear held her back. Sex wasn’t something that brought pleasure. Only pain. She didn’t know if she could ever get past her aversion.

  For the first time in a decade, she wanted to try.

  “I know you’re afraid,” he told her.

  Her cheeks heated, and shame filled her that he knew what a coward she was. Mikhail used his thumb to tilt her head back until she was staring into his brilliant green eyes. “I don’t know much about your past,” he began.

  She was grateful for small mercies, but her gratitude was short lived.

  “I know your former mate abused you.” He might have been discussing the weather given his matter-of-fact tone, but strangely enough, it helped settle her.

  She nodded. She didn’t want to discuss Pierre or her mating. The only good thing that had come out of it was her boys. They made all the dark, painful years worth it.

  Mikhail sighed and eased away. She immediately missed his warmth and the hard press of his erection against her. She frowned. That had certainly never happened to her before. She’d always been glad when Pierre had left her alone.

  Mikhail was different. She wanted to draw him back until he was practically covering her with his body once again. She suddenly realized she was still gripping his shoulder and dropped her hand like his skin had burned her.

  He caught her hand, brought it to his lips, and brushed kisses over her knuckles before planting one in the center of her palm. “You are an amazing woman, Elise LaForge.”

  She hated her last name. The only reason she’d kept it was for her sons. She didn’t exactly like her maiden name, either. After all, her father had had no qualms about giving her to Pierre, even though he’d already had a reputation for cruelty when they mated.

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nbsp; “I’ve watched you for months now.” Mikhail’s voice deepened, and she sensed his wolf close to the surface.

  She clutched the quilt tighter to her. Not that it would give her any protection if he decided to attack. Her wolf whimpered inside her. Not out of fear of Mikhail, but in distress because of Elise’s fears.

  Her wolf didn’t distrust Mikhail. Her wolf had always hated Pierre with an unrelenting passion. Now it made small sounds of encouragement. Obviously, her wolf wasn’t conflicted. It wanted her to touch Mikhail.

  That wasn’t the only thing her wolf wanted her to do with him.

  It was all too much, too fast. Of course, Mikhail would probably say the exact opposite. He’d been here since last October. Male werewolves had a high sex drive. She was surprised he hadn’t headed into town to satisfy those urges. Pierre had never had a problem doing so.

  She’d have known if Mikhail had done such a thing. This was a small pack, and there were really no secrets, no matter what the men thought. The women knew whatever was going on. No, she would have definitely heard if Mikhail had spent an evening at the local roadside bar.

  “What do you want from me?” she demanded. She hated feeling inadequate and afraid. She was building a life for herself here, one that made her happy. She wasn’t about to let anyone disrupt that. Especially not a man.

  …

  Mikhail took another step back even though a part of him wanted to kiss her again. He could tell from the slightly panicked expression in her eyes that he’d pushed enough for this morning.

  But he couldn’t resist running his fingers down the length of her braid. He caught the end of it and brushed his fingers over the tip. “What do I want from you?”

  He wanted to mate with her. He wanted everything. He wanted to howl and yell his intentions to the world. But he’d lived too long to be that stupid. He lifted the tail of her braid and brushed it against her cheek. She licked her lips and her eyes partially closed.

  Her breath hitched, and he knew he had to kiss her one more time before he left her.

  “I want to court you,” he told her just before he pressed his lips to hers. It was an old-fashioned word, but it fit. She’d never had a man treat her as the treasure she was. Never had a man show her he appreciated everything she was.

  He planned to change that.

  He kept the kiss light and undemanding. He teased and cajoled until she was kissing him back. He wanted to delve past her sweet lips and into the hot depths of her mouth but leashed his passions.

  He kept the long-term goal in mind. He wanted Elise as his mate. If he scared her off now, he’d be back at square one, or worse. She could always tell her sons, and he’d end up being booted off Salvation Pack land.

  His heart squeezed tightly, and his wolf howled at the mere thought of being forced to leave Elise. If he wanted to keep that from happening, he had to play things smart.

  He eased back, and Elise blinked at him several times. She started to speak, stopped, and cleared her throat. “You want to court me,” she parroted.

  “Oh, yeah.” He stepped away and embraced the chill of the winter morning, but it did nothing to ease the ache in his groin. His cock was fully erect, and there was nothing he could do about it.

  “I want to spend time with you, to get to know you better.” He leaned against the porch rail and tried to appear as nonthreatening as possible. From the watchful expression in her eyes, he didn’t think he was succeeding.

  “I want us to run in the woods, I want to have coffee and maybe a meal together, I want to watch a movie with you.” He shrugged. “Whatever you want to do, that’s what I want.”

  She blinked several times. Her golden gaze dropped to his erection and then back to his face. “Why?”

  She seemed honestly bewildered and confused.

  “Why do I want to spend time with you?” he asked.

  She nodded. “I get that you want to have sex.” She waved her hand in front of her. “That’s obvious.”

  He tried not to grin but lost the battle. Then he shrugged. “I can’t hide how I feel.”

  She frowned, but continued, “Why all the other stuff—coffee, dinner, a movie? We’re not human.”

  It was his turn to frown. “Because you deserve all that and more. I want more than just sex from you, Elise. I want us to be friends.” He wanted a hell of a lot more than that, but it was better to keep that to himself.

  “Will you give me a chance?” he asked. “Will you spend time with me away from the others? Just us? We don’t have to have sex.”

  Again, she looked at his cock.

  He laughed and some of his tension bled away. “I’m not denying I want you naked.” He shook his head and sighed. “I’d like it to be in my bed, but since I’m staying with your son, I don’t think that’s advisable.” He didn’t think that Louis would appreciate Mikhail taking his mother to bed.

  Her hand flew to her mouth. He’d obviously shocked her with his blunt speaking. It took him a second to realize she was laughing.

  He straightened slowly, drawn to the open and honest sound.

  …

  Elise knew she should be concerned by Mikhail’s latest proclamation, but at this point, she figured she was beyond shock. Instead, he looked so put out by the fact he couldn’t go all he-wolf and take her back to his lair, or in this case his bed, because he currently didn’t have a place of his own.

  She could just picture him trying to sneak her past her younger son. It was so ridiculous an image she burst into laughter.

  When Mikhail pushed away from the porch post, her laughter fled. What had she been thinking? She’d laughed at him. An aroused male werewolf in his prime. What she’d done could be viewed as nothing but an insult.

  Fear almost choked her, and she groped for the handle of the door. Her chest constricted, and her hands shook so badly she couldn’t get the handle to turn. Then a strong male hand covered hers, and Mikhail helped her open the door.

  “Elise, is everything okay? Why did you stop laughing?” His concern was so genuine it gave her the courage to turn and face him. She did take the precaution of stepping inside her house first. She kept one hand on the door so she could slam it shut if necessary.

  “I insulted you.” It was obvious. Why did he need her to point it out for him?

  “You didn’t insult me,” he told her. “Even I can see the humor in the situation.” He put both hands on the top of the doorjamb and leaned inward. She tried not to notice the large expanse of his muscled chest and his broad shoulders, but it was impossible. Mikhail filled her doorway.

  “Besides, you’ll feel more comfortable in your own home.” He offered her a smile. “That way you can kick me out if I get out of line.”

  “And would you leave if I asked you to?” The question was out of her mouth before she could question if she should ask it or not.

  His expression turned serious. “I wouldn’t want to go, but if it’s what you really wanted, then I would. I never want you to fear me. I just want to make you smile. Laugh, too,” he added.

  Elise released the breath she’d been holding. Her heart was still racing way too fast, but only part of that was from fear. Mikhail confused her more than any other man she’d ever met. Pierre had been simple to understand—she was to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it.

  Mikhail was different. He seemed to be cut from the same cloth as Jacque and Louis. She’d watched him with his sister, but more importantly, she’d seen Rina’s reaction to him. And she didn’t fear him in the least. Could Elise trust him? More importantly, could she get beyond the horrors of her past, or would they continue to hold her back?

  As if he knew she was conflicted, he leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers. His hands were still on the doorjamb, and he was standing outside her home. He hadn’t entered because she hadn’t invited him. The thought hit her like a lightning bolt.

  “I’m not sure,” she began. She wasn’t sure how to explain all her concerns.
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  “A chance. That’s all I’m asking for.” He stepped away from the front door and shifted. He went from a ruggedly handsome and intimidating man to a ruggedly handsome and intimidating wolf. He was just as potent and alluring in both forms.

  He stood on her front porch, waiting for her decision.

  She could close the door and go back to her safe existence. Or she could take a step forward.

  “I’m making pies later this morning. If you’re interested, you could come by around three this afternoon.” It was a huge commitment for her. As soon as she’d said it, she wanted to call the words back.

  She clamped her lips shut. She was going to spend some time with Mikhail. It didn’t mean they were going to jump into bed together. It was just coffee and pie.

  Mikhail stared at her for a long moment, as if he was waiting to see if she was going to change her mind. When she said nothing, he trotted down the stairs and disappeared into the woods.

  The morning mist had almost lifted, leaving the day cool and crisp. Elise stared in the direction Mikhail had gone in before she finally closed the door and leaned against it.

  A sense of anticipation filled her. She had to get showered and dressed. She had pies to make. What kind did he like? She wasn’t sure. He’d always eaten whatever kind she’d made before.

  She pushed away from the door and headed down the short hallway to her bedroom. She pulled the quilt from around her shoulders, folded it, and placed it across the bottom of the bed. Her room had been designed around her specifications and was completely feminine. It was hard to imagine a tough, primal man like Mikhail lounging in her bed.

  Her stomach fluttered, but not so much with fear as anticipation.

  “Pie first,” she reminded herself. They’d eat some pie, talk, and see what happened. She wasn’t about to jump into bed with him.

  She walked into her bathroom and started the water running in the shower. As she waited for it to heat, she stared at herself in the mirror.

  She looked almost exactly the same as she had when she’d rolled out of bed just before dawn this morning, but something fundamental had changed inside her.