Wolf of her Own

by N. J. Walters

  They were both silent.

  She needed to find the words to reach them. “The day you left Louisiana was the happiest day of my life. It was what I’d always wanted for you—freedom from your father. You’ve both grown into men any mother would be proud of. You’re strong and honorable and kind. You understand strength is found in bringing people together, not in trying to beat them into submission.

  “You gave me a home,” she told Jacque. “You gave me freedom,” she reminded Louis. “But you can’t do anything about the dreams or the memories that still jolt me from time to time. Only I can do that.”

  Jacque stood and wrapped his arms around her. “Mama.” That was all he said. Louis embraced her from behind, and she was wrapped in the love of her sons.

  Sniffing back tears, Gwen joined them, and Jacque tucked his mate into his side.

  “Promise me you’ll come to me or to any of us if you need help.”

  That was something she could easily agree to. “Yes, Jacque. I promise.” The worry in his gaze eased slightly but didn’t disappear altogether. “I promise,” she said again, this time to Louis. He nodded but didn’t look convinced.

  “Enough of this depressing talk.” She eased away from them and went to put on her boots. “Thank you for breakfast. I’m going to go home and get some sewing done.”

  She needed to get away before she broke down completely. The walls she’d used to suppress her emotions no longer existed. Mikhail had destroyed them all.

  But maybe that was the only way to finally purge the poison from the past.

  Elise had a feeling it wouldn’t be an easy road, but it was the only way forward. She slipped out the back door and took a deep breath. It was a beautiful day. Far too nice to spend all of it inside. Maybe she’d go for a walk later. And if she was lucky, maybe she’d run into a certain male wolf.

  …

  Mikhail had a mug of coffee at hand while he scrambled eggs. Sleep had eluded him, and he’d finally given up trying. The pullout sofa in his sister’s workroom was comfortable enough. It was his thoughts that wouldn’t allow him to rest.

  Rina shuffled out into the kitchen and sniffed. “Do I smell bacon?”

  “It’s keeping warm in the oven,” he told her and lifted the pan of eggs off the burner and set them aside. He pulled down a mug, filled it with coffee, and shoved it toward her.

  She added sugar before taking the first sip. “Bless you.” She took another before sliding onto one of the stools at the kitchen counter. “How did you sleep?”

  He shrugged. “Good enough.” Not exactly a lie, but not the truth, either.

  “You need your own place,” she proclaimed. “You haven’t had your own place since you left the pack in Sitka.” Mikhail heard the pain and worry in his sister’s voice and didn’t like it.

  “I’m fine, Rina. I’m capable of getting my own place if I want it.”

  Sage chose that moment to join them. He’d showered and dressed and was alert. He was a farmer at heart, didn’t matter the time of year, and woke early, ready to work. “Then why don’t you?” Sage asked. “Get your own place?” he added.

  Obviously, his brother-in-law had heard part of their conversation.

  “Sage,” Rina admonished. “He’s going to think we don’t want him here.”

  The wry expression Sage shot Mikhail made him laugh. “No, baby,” Sage told his mate. “We wouldn’t want him to think that.”

  He looked so pained that Mikhail could only laugh harder.

  “Not helping,” Sage muttered.

  Mikhail took pity on the man and poured him a cup of coffee. “Sit. Breakfast is ready.”

  Since it was only the three of them, they opted to use the breakfast bar instead of sitting at the table. Mikhail filled plates with mounds of fluffy eggs, piles of toast, and a heap of bacon. He wasn’t much of a cook, but he could manage a decent breakfast. He could also grill with the best of them. What he was best at was cooking over an open fire. All those years of camping had made him pretty good at it.

  “Speaking of people having their own place, where are Reece and Hannah this morning?” Even though they had their own home, Mikhail knew the other couple shared most meals together. Sage and his twin had been inseparable since Reece had finally moved home after a decade of living away. “They didn’t stay away because of me, did they?”

  Sage shook his head. “They left yesterday to make a quick trip to Chicago. They both left so suddenly last fall that there’s still some unfinished business they need to handle.”

  “They won’t be gone long,” Rina added. “They want to close that chapter of their lives once and for all.”

  Mikhail couldn’t blame them for that. He’d been more than happy to close the door on his life in Alaska.

  “Seriously, though”—Sage picked up the conversation after he’d eaten about half of what was on his plate—“if you want your own place, I’m sure we could put something up fairly quickly. Not now while the ground is frozen, but as soon as it thaws in spring.”

  “Let’s worry about it when spring comes.” Mikhail sincerely hoped he wouldn’t still be living with them by then. He also hoped he wouldn’t need his own place. No, if he had his way, he’d be sharing Elise’s cozy little home with her.

  Rina paled and set her fork down on her plate. “You’re not thinking of leaving, are you?”

  “No, not at the moment.” That was the honest truth. The only way he’d leave was if Elise outright rejected him. No way could he stay here if she did that. His wolf growled, not liking Mikhail’s turn of thought.

  Mikhail loved Elise. He’d known her for months. He’d fallen in lust with her the moment he’d laid eyes on her. Over time, he’d watched her with the others and come to appreciate her gentle, yet forthright manner. She was kind and strong and talented. And he wanted her more now than he had then.

  She was perfect for a man like him, a man who’d never really had a home. He’d never fit with the pack in Alaska and had only stayed because of his sister. Even then, he’d spent as much of his time as possible trekking through the wilderness.

  He valued Elise’s ability to make a home. Wherever she went, she unobtrusively went about adding to everyone’s comfort. She did it in such a quiet way that he doubted most of the others even noticed.

  But he did, and he thought it a gift beyond price. There was so much more to Elise than even she knew. He wanted to be the one to encourage her to reach for whatever it was she wanted to do or try or experience.

  He wanted to be her mate.

  “Promise me, Mikhail.” His sister’s fear tore at his heart. He pushed his plate aside and went to her. He took her hands in his and stared into green eyes that were a mirror of his own. “I have no plans to leave. And if that ever changes, you’ll be the first one I tell. I promise.”

  Rina wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. As he returned her embrace, his gaze met Sage’s. The younger man raised a quizzical eyebrow, but Mikhail shook his head. Now was not the time for more questions, especially ones he wasn’t willing or ready to answer.

  His relationship with Elise was private for now. It was too new, too fragile to risk. He wasn’t about to do anything that would jeopardize the bonds he was forging with her.

  Anticipation thrummed through him. He planned to see her later. Maybe much later. She was always busy during the day, and Mikhail assumed that her sons or their mates would be keeping an eye on her today after yesterday.

  She probably wouldn’t be alone until tonight. Maybe he’d drop by for pie, conversation, and whatever else might occur. His wolf gave a low chuff of approval. Mikhail turned away and went back to his stool, glad he’d left the tails of his shirt untucked after his shower. They helped to hide the fact he was suddenly sporting an erection.

  The last thing he wanted was to have to answer questions as to why he was suddenly aroused over breakfast. He finished the last slice of his toast and grinned. Elise made him feel young again.

&n
bsp; Chapter Eleven

  Elise was frustrated. She’d barely arrived home from Jacque and Gwen’s home this morning when Sylvie called, wondering if Elise was going to come over to sew for a few hours. Seconds later, Gator had shown up on the path, ready to carry anything she’d needed transported to his home.

  Giving in to the inevitable, and seeing her plans for a solitary morning and a walk in the afternoon disappear, Elise had packed up her sewing and gone to Sylvie’s. She’d spent the past few hours there working alongside Sylvie and Sue, who had joined them. Elise always enjoyed spending time with her friends, but today she’d really wanted to be alone.

  On one hand, she was touched they were all so concerned about her. Her uncharacteristic actions of yesterday had obviously alarmed them. There were very few secrets in a wolf pack. But she had one. She smiled as she hand-stitched an edge, making each tiny little stitch uniform. She had a big secret, and one she planned to keep, at least for the time being.

  “You’re almost finished.” Sue pushed her chair back from her sewing machine and stretched her arms over her head. As the only human female in the pack, she needed to take more frequent breaks to keep from getting stiff. Sue rarely made quilts and spent her time making sachet bags and pillows.

  “I am.” Elise reached for the scissors and snipped off the end of the thread. “Done.” She held the quilt up and shook it out. The colors were darker than she usually used. There were various shades of greens, as well as burnt orange, yellow, mahogany, and deep red. It reminded her of autumn. Edging all the squares and pulling the quilt together was a dark chocolate-brown fabric.

  “How much are you going to charge for that one?” Sylvie asked. They all sold their creations at the local farmer’s market, but they had an online store where they sold their products as well.

  She studied the colors in the quilt and realized she couldn’t sell it. Subconsciously or not, she’d made the quilt with Mikhail in mind. The colors were bold and strong and reminded her of him. She’d even used his eye color as one of the fabric choices.

  Elise carefully folded the blanket and set it aside. “I think I’m going to keep this one.”

  “It is gorgeous,” Sylvie agreed. “It would be nice for this time of year and in the fall as well.”

  “I may make some changes to my bedroom.” The idea had been brewing for a while, but now it took on a new urgency. The colors she’d originally chosen had been a reaction against the past. A rebellion. She’d been happy with it, but it was time for something different. The pale colors and white no longer suited her. And, really, what had she been thinking with that pink bench?

  She’d changed, and she wanted her bedroom to reflect that.

  “Those colors?” Sue pointed to the quilt.

  Elise shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.” She studied the quilt and admired the colors. “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”

  “Just let us know if you want someone to bounce ideas off, or if you need help finding what you’re looking for,” Sue told her. “You know we’ll all have opinions, and we all love to online shop.

  “Who has opinions?” Gator appeared in the doorway with Etienne perched on his shoulders.

  “Aunt Elise is thinking about doing some redecorating.” Sylvie rose, went over to her mate, and held out her arms. Etienne slid from his father’s shoulders into his mother’s arms. She playfully kissed the tip of her son’s nose. “Maybe you’d like to give her your opinion.”

  Elise wished she’d had her camera handy to capture the look of pure horror on Gator’s face. “I’m sure she can handle redecorating just fine without my input.” He shook his head. “I came in to tell you lunch is ready. Soup and sandwiches.”

  “Sounds good. I’m hungry.” And she was. The morning’s work and talk of redecorating had invigorated her. She hadn’t eaten much breakfast and was suddenly starving.

  She waited until the others had left the room and studied the quilt she’d finished. She ran her fingers over the fabric and shivered. What would Mikhail think of it? She was going to give it to him as a present. If she was truly brazen, she’d wrap herself up naked in it and give him both herself and the quilt.

  She wasn’t quite that brave yet. Maybe she’d hang onto the blanket until she was.

  “Miss Elise.” Gator was standing in the doorway watching her intently. She wondered how long she’d been lost in her own thoughts.

  It was time to make another change. “I wish you’d just call me Elise. Miss Elise makes me feel old.”

  Gator slung his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. “You’re not old, Miss— I mean, Elise. It’s a term of respect.”

  She patted his hand. “I know it is, but you don’t use it with Corrine,” she pointed out. Cole’s mama was just as old as her.

  “You’re also the alpha’s mama,” Gator reminded her. They’d made their way to the kitchen and everyone was listening to their conversation. Elias had joined them and was sitting next to Sue.

  She looked at all of them and took a stand. “I know you all mean it with respect, but I’d rather you just call me Elise.”

  Sue shrugged. “Fine by me.”

  Sylvie laughed and kissed Elise’s cheek as she carried a platter of sandwiches to the table. “I’m still calling you Aunt Elise.”

  Elise smiled. “Now that I don’t mind at all.” The others laughed and sat down to eat. She knew that it wouldn’t take long for this incident to get back to her boys. She knew Gator would tell them about her intentions to redecorate, too. That would only add to the speculation as to what was bothering her.

  She wasn’t about to enlighten them.

  Opening herself up to Mikhail had shifted something inside her. Elise felt more alive and more hopeful than she had in years. It had everything to do with Mikhail, and strangely, nothing to do with him.

  She wasn’t changing in hopes of attracting him. According to him, he was already very attracted. No, the changes were all for her. She was finally letting herself come alive after all these years. As clichéd as it sounded, she felt as though she’d been in a cocoon all these years and was finally ready to become a butterfly.

  …

  A morning had never lasted so long. Mikhail knew it was because he was waiting for nightfall so he could go to Elise, but that didn’t make the time go any faster.

  “Are you done?” Cole asked. Mikhail had joined the man in his workshop this morning and was making a bench, one that would sit nicely at the end of a bed.

  “For now.” He’d chosen the maple from a reclaimed tree found on pack land. That’s how Cole got much of his lumber. Mikhail hadn’t had much opportunity to try his hand at carpentry and woodworking for years. He’d forgotten how much he enjoyed it.

  Cole studied his work intently. “Not bad.” High praise from the big wolf who usually said little. “You want lunch?”

  Mikhail thought about heading home but shrugged. “Sure.”

  Cole slapped him on the back and would have sent him flying if he hadn’t been braced. The man had a hand like an anvil. “Come on, then. The boys have already gone.”

  The boys were Sue’s teenage son, Billy, and Sage. Mikhail almost snickered at hearing his brother-in-law referred to as a boy, but he managed to contain himself. They left the workshop and walked side by side toward Cole’s house.

  Another big man stepped on the path in front of them.

  “Papa.” Cole nodded at his father.

  They were like two peas in a pod. Cole had gotten his size from his father. Joseph Blanchard was over six and a half feet and built like a mountain. He was around Mikhail’s age, but like all wolves, he carried himself like a much younger man.

  “Your mama sent me to tell you lunch is ready.” Joseph slapped his son on the back, but Cole didn’t even flinch. Then Joseph nodded at Mikhail. “But I can see that was not necessary. Your empty stomachs lead you home.”

  They’d barely reached the yard when the back door opened and a little girl ran ou
t onto the porch. With her blond hair and green eyes, she looked like a tiny fairy. In spite of the cold, she was only wearing jeans, slippers, and a sweater. “Papa,” she yelled. “Catch me.”

  They were still a few feet away when the child launched herself into the air, arms wide open. Cole rushed forward and snagged her small body out of the air. He growled and buried his face in her hair. The child laughed and clung to his thick neck.

  “Amy, are you scaring your father again.” Cherise stood in the open doorway beaming at her mate and daughter.

  “Papa’s not afraid of anything,” Amy informed her mother. “Are you, Papa?”

  Cole held her in front of him, dangling her in the air. Amy kicked her feet in delight. “I am,” he told her.

  Amy stilled and looked concerned. “What are you afraid of?”

  It surprised Mikhail that Cole would admit such a thing, and in front of other male wolves.

  “I am afraid you or your mother might get hurt,” he told his daughter. “You are both my heart.” He brought the child close and snuggled her against his chest.

  “I won’t get hurt. I promise. You always catch me,” she assured him. Mikhail almost laughed at the child’s logic. “And Mama won’t get hurt. Will you?” The child sounded worried now.

  Cherise hurried to reassure her. “No, of course I won’t. You go wash your hands for lunch.”

  Cole set the little girl down on the porch, and she scampered inside, singing to herself. Then he went to his mate and kissed her. Not a quick kiss, either, one tinged with deep passion.

  Joseph laughed and went inside. Mikhail followed, feeling like a voyeur. It wasn’t much better inside. Joseph was kissing his wife, Corrine, and Rina was kissing Sage.

  He and Billy looked at one another, and Mikhail shrugged. “I’m not kissing you, so don’t ask.”

  The teenager choked on the mouthful of milk he’d just swallowed and grabbed a napkin. When he could breathe again, he grinned at Mikhail. “You’re not my type.”