Ruined (The Hazed Series Book 3)

by Brittany Butler

  Without thinking, I laughed at her. “Your dad brought your ex-boyfriend to flaunt him in my fucking face. I don’t know what the hell’s been goin’ on while I’m away. You think that doesn’t bother me?”

  “I don’t mean that, it’s just that I have this gut feeling that you are not always honest with me. And sometimes I don’t think I know you at all,” she said, looking down.

  If I want to be with her, there’s no other way out of this. “I was detained last night.”

  “Detained?” She asked, wrinkling her nose.

  I shrugged, “Yeah, arrested is kind of a strong word. I was held overnight with no charges so no big deal.”

  “YOU WERE ARRESTED?” She asked; her eyes were practically bulging out of her head.

  Looking at the house, I brought my finger to my lips. “Keep it down. No, just held overnight like I said, there’s no charges they just kept me ‘til I sobered up.”

  “You were drunk? This just keeps getting better and better, Hayze! You told me you don’t drink!”

  “You wanted to know,” I reminded her.

  “What happened?”

  “When I got home Joel was having another party. The cops had already been called to it but he didn’t quiet down,” I said, repeating what I heard. I didn’t know what had happened, just knew that Joel and I fought after I left my mothers.

  “Where had you been?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

  “Jesus, Taylor. I was at my mom’s.”

  She rolled her eyes, stepping even further away from me. “Do you expect me to believe that?”

  “Call her! She asked me to come over for Christmas and I told her I was coming here, so I went last night,” I said, trying to keep my voice low. For her to even suggest I was with someone else is ridiculous.

  “Why were you drunk?”

  “They were having a Christmas Eve party. So, yeah, I drank with them,” I said, wanting to get on with the story.

  “You drove home drunk?”

  “This is startin’ to feel like an interrogation. Back to the point, when I got home Joel was having a party and we got into it again. The cops showed up, arrested us, but we wouldn’t say what happened so they just held us ‘til we were sober. I’ve never been arrested before, it scared the shit out of me,” I said.

  Sighing, she stood in front of me. “You and Joel don’t need to hang out anymore, Hayze. You guys bring out the worst in each other.”

  “Yeah, I’m breaking my lease this month. I, uh, actually wanted to talk to you about that,” I said. Taking her hand in mine, I pulled her next to me.

  The screen door popped open and Scott stepped out. “Am I interrupting something?”

  “Nope, nothing’s going on out here. I think I’m about to head back to the dorms,” Taylor said.

  “Good luck gettin’ out, dad has a bunch of questions,” Scott laughed, pointing to the door.

  “Maybe I should go around the yard and get in my car.”

  “No, don’t do that. C’mon I’ll walk with you,” I said. Standing, I offered her my hand.

  “Later, Tater bug,” Scott said, hugging her.

  “Love you,” she said, patting him as she walked inside.

  “Bye Hayze,” he said, nodding in my direction.

  We walked inside, finding her dad perched in his recliner, watching the door like a hawk. His frown deepens as I come into sight. Without a word, Taylor jogged upstairs and I followed after her.

  “And just what do you think you’re doing?” Her dads voice boomed throughout the house as he followed us up the stairs.

  “Leaving,” Taylor snapped.

  “Hayze can wait down here with the family.”

  She walked in the first room off the stairs and threw her clothes in her backpack. She walked in another room, returning with a small bag. Throwing it in her backpack, she turned to the mirror, studying her outfit.

  She slung her backpack on as her dad walked in. “Did you hear me?”

  “Yeah Dad, I did, Hayze and I are not hormone-crazed teenagers. We can keep it together long enough to get my clothes,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  With his brows bunched together, his cheeks puff full of air. Taylor glanced at me, warning me. As soon as we think he’s about to explode, he shoved his sausage of a finger in Taylor’s face. I clenched my fist, trying to get my temper under control.

  “I warned you last time about your job and that girl you brought home. But this…This is different! You took this to a whole new level, Taylor! You came in my house and embarrassed me in front of my guest the way you flaunted working at a bar and this… This guy you think you care about,” he said, looking at me in disgust.

  “YOUR GUEST?! You mean the guy you wanted me to date in high school? And don’t you dare talk about me and Hayze! I’m in love with him and there’s nothing you can do about it,” she said, crossing her arms.

  In love with me?

  “Get out!” He yelled.

  Taylor’s face was unreadable. With her mouth pressed into a hard line, she left the room. It took everything I had to walk out without kicking his ass. I knew he treated her like shit, but witnessing it firsthand was something new for me.

  “We’re going home, mom,” Taylor said as I walked in the living room.

  “Home? You mean you two are living together?” Her dad huffed as he walked in behind us. I wanted to hit him, but being a smart-ass will have to do.

  “No sir, I have an apartment off campus. I’m driving back with Taylor to make sure she gets home safely,” I said, looking straight in his eyes. “But for the record, I’ve tried to get her to move in with me.”

  Throwing her hands up, she shot me a glare. I shrugged, unfazed. He wasn’t going to talk to Taylor in front of me like that. Her dad stared at us before giving up and leaving the room.

  “Do something with that guy,” Taylor said, looking at her mom.

  “Oh, honey, I trust you,” she said, going over to Taylor. “If you ever need me for anything, just call. What you tell me is a secret between the two of us, you know that right?”

  “I do. Thanks, Mom. See you next time.”

  I stood to the side, giving them space. I tried not to listen as they exchanged their goodbyes, but it was hard not to. They were all each other had; it was clear her dad was emotionally abusive to both of them. I’ll never get along with that guy.

  “It was nice meeting you, Hayze. Take care of my girl,” Carol said.

  “I will,” I said, waving.

  She ran ahead of me, trying to get to her car as the wind whipped her hair around. She tugged a beanie on and picked up her pace. When she got to her car, I jogged up to her. She slid in her seat, and I caught the door as she tried to close it.

  “You want my jacket?” I asked as she rubbed her arms.

  “No, my sweater’s fine.”

  “Are you going back to the dorms?”

  “Yeah, I guess I am. I really need to put everything up. I’ve been gone awhile,” she said. I waited for her to invite me.

  “Okay, I’ll see you there,” I said, slamming the door. I jogged away and got in my car before she could protest.

  Her car door flew open and she ran toward my car. Chuckling, I backed up. “HAYZE! Stop!”

  I leaned against my window, pointing to my ear. I mouthed, ‘I can’t hear you’ before leaving. I wanted to spend time with her. I knew she was pissed off and I wanted to change that. Maybe after hearing me out tonight, we can finally get on the same page. It was obvious I didn’t treat her the way she needed to be treated. I had a lot of growing to do. But if she would be patient with me, I could show her I could be more. I wasn’t anything like her father; tonight was a wake-up call.

  26

  THE NOTE

  My head was throbbing. After thirty minutes of sitting in her dorm room, I was considering leaving. Kicking my shoes off, I fell on her bed. As more time passed, I became anxious. Part of me wanted her to show up, and the other part of me wanted he
r to stay another night at her parent’s. I knew as soon as she walked through the door, there would be a fight. And I feared it might be the last one. I closed my eyes, waiting for her.

  When something crashed, the light came on, and I clenched my eyes together. What the hell Joel?

  “Fuck. Could you be any louder? I’m tired,” I said.

  “Oh, so sorry…I’m sure you’re exhausted after your night in jail. I’ll try to be more sensitive next time.”

  Dammnit. Definitely not Joel. I looked at the ceiling, sighing. “Look, I’m sorry but this time it wasn’t my fault.”

  “It never is,” she said far too loud for someone with a hangover.

  I sat up, watching her as she had a tantrum. Ripping the chair from under the desk, she fell into it and looked up at the ceiling.

  “Keep it between us. Lea would flip shit.”

  “Oh, Lea would? How do you think I’m handling it?” Looking at me as if I’d lost my mind, she laughed once.

  I walked over to her. Grabbing her hand, I pulled her beside me. “Better than I thought. I wasn’t gonna tell you…”

  She’s in the same room as me, that’s a start.

  “I’m glad you did…I don’t want you to keep things from me. What are you gonna do now? Did you and Joel talk?”

  If she means punching him, yes, we talked. I don’t remember anything after I hit my head. I rubbed the back of it, feeling pain as I touched it.

  “Uh kinda, I guess I’m going to look for a new place,” I said. She nodded, agreeing this was a good idea. Now would probably be a good time to ask her to move it with me, since I already have it arranged in my head.

  “And until then?”

  Deciding to test the water before I ask, I shrugged. “Lea won’t be back for another week. I guess I’ll crash here; I’ll find an apartment in a week. Two weeks’ tops.”

  Her eyes flared with anger. “If you get caught, I’ll be kicked out, you know that, right? What am I saying? Of course you know that, you just don’t care!”

  “You’re getting worked up over nothing,” I said, chuckling. My lips started a light trail down her neck. Her breath speeds and I pulled back, smiling at her. I love the effect I have on her.

  “You were arrested, Hayze,” she said, pushing away from me.

  “Yeah, and so is every other college student,” I said, shrugging.

  “Your attitude is pissing me off. The way you’re blowing this off…I think you’re just making a joke of it on purpose. It has to have some effect on you. And if it doesn’t then that’s the last red flag I’ll ignore.”

  I dropped my head in my hands. I didn’t want to do this right now, but I didn’t have another choice. The things I told her were not enough; she needed more. I rubbed the back of my head, thinking. Her phone buzzes as soon as I was about to explain everything.

  Looking at it, I saw red. Warning her, I shook my head. “Don’t answer that. It was all I could do not to punch him in the fucking face tonight.”

  “Joseph?” Her face twisted into anger.

  “I know what that was about! That guys in love with you and your dads pushing it. Your dad probably put him up to calling you!” She looked at me then back to the phone. With my jaw clenched, I shook my head. “Don’t answer it, Taylor.”

  “He’s not like that. He probably just wants to make sure I made it home okay,” she said, waving me off. “Hey, Joseph.”

  I snatched the phone from her and she put it on speaker. Reaching for it, she fought to get it back, but gave up when she realized I wasn’t letting go. This is one fight she won’t win. If she thinks this guy has good intentions, I’m going to hear it for myself.

  “Hello Taylor, I wanted to see that you made it home safely,” he said. What a douche. Buying into it, Taylor bumps into me, grinning.

  “Not buying it,” I said and Taylor’s eyes went wide.

  “What was that?” Joseph asked.

  “Oh, nothing, sorry, I made it home. Thanks for checking on me,” she said.

  “There’s actually something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

  Taylor’s breath sped up as she waited for him to speak. I knew the little shit had ulterior motives.

  “Oh?” She asked, not looking in my direction.

  “So, this guy Hayze? You’re actually dating him, because, to be honest I was kind of caught off guard. Your dad didn’t mention him and he’s…He’s really not your type.”

  Growing nervous, she started picking at her nails. I shook my head, frustrated. “Yeah, about that, sorry for the confusion, you know how my dad is…”

  “…He wants the best for you,” he said and I almost laughed out loud.

  “I guess some would see it that way. I see it as trying to control me. I’m …dating Hayze…Sorry you were brought in on that,” she said. Every passing second was growing harder to keep my mouth closed.

  “He seems like bad news, Taylor. I know we don’t talk anymore but I don’t want to see you get hurt,” he said, sighing for theatrics. He could win a Grammy for the good guy act he has going on, but I’m not having it. He’s not going to call my girlfriend and talk shit about me.

  “And I don’t think Taylor wants to see you get hurt. Want to know how to avoid that? Hang up the fucking phone and don’t call this number back,” I said. Taylor’s face planted in her hands

  as I hung up the phone. “You just couldn’t resist. You push me and push me until I’m fucking threatening a preacher’s son.”

  “You were right this time! But that doesn’t give you the right to tell me not to answer my phone! I never do that to you, even with everything you keep from me,” she said, jumping from the bed. Ignoring me, she started to gather her things.

  Sighing, “We have the same fight over and over again. You’re so convinced I’m hiding something from you, you’re so obsessed with that idea that you bring it up every chance you get!”

  She walked over to the door, but I stopped her from opening it. “You’ve made it very clear you don’t want me to stay here. I’ll be the one to leave,” I said.

  I stormed from her room and out to the Mustang parked on the curb. As soon as I answered her phone, I knew what was happening. I treat her just like her dad. I can’t ever stop. My need to control her and keep her in my life, without knowledge of who I am, will never go away. I need to leave her alone.

  That Joseph prick is what she needs. He can treat her better than I ever could, and its time I stepped away and let him win her back. By the time I pulled into the liquor store, I knew I’d have hell staying away from her. I grabbed a bottle of vodka, paid for it, and started chugging it as soon as I stepped outside. For the hell of it, I took a couple pills.

  I palmed the bottle, waiting to feel something. The next few days of my life would be shit, but I’m doing the right thing. I have to do this for her.

  I took the back roads to my apartment, sipping the Vodka. This is bullshit. Why can’t I just go over there and tell her? She would help me through this and we could move on. Before I could think of a better reason not to go, I drove in the direction of her dorm. I parked outside and jogged to her dorm, finding an empty dorm.

  If she called Joseph, I swear to God.

  If that guy shows back up to this room, I’ll kill him. I chugged the Vodka. Losing my footing, I stumbled on the bed. Her shower bag isn’t on her table, which does nothing for my temper.

  Swaying back and forth, I grabbed the bottle for another drink, but I missed my mouth. Laughing, I sat the bottle back on the table and laid back. Waiting for her, I positioned myself on my back with my hand slung over my face.

  Someone jerking on me, jolts me, but I don’t wake up. I laid her, listening to Taylor speak to me. “Hayze? Can you hear me?”

  She straddles my lap, and I try to grin. If I wasn’t tanked, I would be all over her.

  “Baby, wake up. Wake up, wake up, please wake up,” she said, shaking me. Something keeps dripping on my face. Is she pouring water on me?
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  “What’s wet?” I asked, swatting at my face.

  “You're alive!”

  Groaning, I turned on my side, trying to go back to sleep. Unhooking her leg, she walked to the other side of the room. She kept talking, but I didn’t bother trying to get up. I was passed the point of trying to talk to her.

  When I woke up, the sun was just rising. Casting a glare through the blinds of the dorm. I turned over, squinting, searching the room. She was laying in Lea’s bed, sleeping. With much reluctance from my hangover, I went to her side. Crouching down to study her face only made me feel worse.

  With her lips slightly parted, and her eyes closed, she looked so innocent. I rubbed my hand down my face. God, she didn’t need my shit. Standing, I looked around the dorm. I wasn’t good with words, but maybe I could write her something.

  I could tell her the truth and she could decide on her own if she wanted to deal with my shit. Thinking, I held the pencil to her notebook. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I can’t tell her. I need to break it off and let her go.

  I walked out to my car and left and went back two times that day. Every time I thought of her, I took something. The last time I went, I wrote a note. After reading through it, I scratched through most of the note.

  I wish I could tell you the truth. I wish I could tell you to leave. I drove to your dorm twice today. I know that’s fucking crazy. I sat in my car and tried to work up the courage to knock on your door. One day you’ll know the truth and if I fall back in this again promise me you’ll run. If you never remember anything else remember this: When all else fails, save yourself.

  I love you. Please don’t hate me.

  I tucked it under her door and left without knocking. It may not make any sense to her, but I need her to read it and understand so she can make an informed decision about me. It’s too far in for me to walk away, but it might not be too late for her.

  Needing to get out of here before I do something dumb, I left. Lea was gone. She wouldn’t be back for a few days, so I pointed the car in my mom’s direction. I can pop a few pills and manage to stay here for the weekend.

  When I got to my mother’s house, she was outside as soon as I left my car. “Hayze,” she said, hugging me.