Ruined (The Hazed Series Book 3)

by Brittany Butler

  “My place?”

  She dropped her eyes, studying her feet. Fuck. I didn’t know what she was going to say, but I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Was that her farewell fuck?

  “Actually, I think I’m gonna stay here,” she said.

  “I thought we were okay.”

  She snapped up, glaring at me. “But we’re not, Hayze…You can’t just follow me back to my dorms after being gone for days, and have sex with me, and think everything’s okay. That’s not how it’s works.”

  I rolled my eyes, exasperated. “I don’t recall you saying no.”

  Which is not something you should ever say to a girl. She crossed her arms before stalking over to the door.

  “That’s not the point,” she said, opening the door.

  “Then tell me the point! Why didn’t you say no, huh?” I asked. Stalking over, I closed the door.

  Frustrated, she placed her hands on her hips. If I wasn’t pissed, I would laugh. “Because I wanted to, and now I want you to leave,” she said, pointing to the door. “Since when did a casual screw mean so much to you?”

  I was a casual screw for her? Ouch. “Since you changed me.”

  “Lea’s probably ready to come back in,” she said, opening the door again.

  “What happened in the last few minutes for you to put this wall up?”

  She shrugged, like this wasn’t fazing her at all. “Nothing, we both know it shouldn’t have happened.”

  “Where does that leave us?” I asked. Refusing to look at me, she dropped her eyes to the floor.

  Fuck.

  “Say you’ll go out with me…Before you make your decision, please.”

  She held the door opened wider, looking out in the hallway. She looked back at me clearly annoyed, but I’m not budging. She can’t write me off like this. I know me leaving her with a note the other day was shitty, but I can’t let her go now. I realized I was being dumb.

  “I’ll go,” she said, reluctantly.

  My shoulders sagged with relief. I kissed her cheek, lingering down her face and stopping at her lips. “You won’t regret it,” I said, and even I knew that was a lie.

  I walked outside, finding Joel waiting by the Mustang. His girl for the night is long gone.

  “I was about to come in after you,” he said.

  Laughing, I slide inside. “That would’ve been a bad idea.”

  “That a’ boy,” he said, laughing. “One more fuck. Put her out of your mind and let’s go out.”

  I started the engine and drove from campus. Once we were out of traffic and in the apartment complex, I decided to break the news. For whatever reason, he was anti-Taylor.

  “I’m taking her out tomorrow,” I said as I walked to the apartment.

  “Jesus Christ, Hayze. Don’t tell me you ran back in there with your tail between your legs, begging her to come back!” He was doubled over with laughter at this point.

  I flipped him off before going in my room. Fuck him. I popped two pills, letting them dissolve under my tongue. I needed to stop my mind before it started. I’m taking her out tomorrow and I’m convincing her I can change. I can do it for her.

  28

  FIRST DATE

  “Don’t forget the ring,” Joel said as I grabbed my keys.

  He was a douchebag; one that was unlikely to find someone like Taylor. He would never understand. Waving once, I walked outside as he laughed at me. He would probably call some girl over and get belligerent tonight as he did every night. I wonder if he ever wanted more.

  When I got to the dorms, I was growing nervous. I knew this girl inside and out; I knew what made her tick; I knew where every mark on her perfect body was, and yet my palms were sweating as I knocked on her door.

  She opened the door. Sucking her bottom lip in her mouth, she tried to contain her smile. Wiping my palms on my jeans, I stepped closer.

  “Ready?” I asked, kissing her cheek. If this was the last chance, I was going to give it hell. I planned to have my hands on her every second tonight.

  “You tell me. I don’t even know where we’re going,” she said, motioning to her clothes. She was nervous, too.

  “You look fine, babe…More than fine,” I whispered walking up behind her as she closed the door. With a stroke of my hand, I swept her hair back and kissed the back of her neck.

  “Stop it,” she said, giggling.

  When we got to the restaurant, she seemed nervous. Loads of people were flowing in and out of the door, waiting for a table.

  “We have a reservation,” I said.

  She smiled in response, but froze. I followed her line of sight, seeing Kassi and Chandler sitting on a bench. Kassi saw us and jumped up, running as fast as she could in her hooker-heels. Locking eyes with Chandler, I shook my head. I didn’t want him bringing up shit I’ve been doing the last few days.

  “Taylor, it’s so good to see you again,” Kassi said, walking over to Taylor.

  “Clark,” he said, tilting his head at me. Fucker. “Was wondering when I’d see you again.”

  I laughed once. “You just saw me last week.”

  “Yeah, last time I saw you, you were taken off in cuffs. Good to see you’re out. What happened?” Taylor stiffens next to me. Throwing my arms around her, I smile and play it off as a joke.

  “They let us go…It was just a misunderstanding.”

  Chandler snorted, “Joel seems to have a lot of those. Goddamn idiot, he was just arrested for shit at your cabin. He won’t ever learn.”

  My eyes almost popped out of my head. I clenched my teeth, trying to send a strong message to him. Shut the fuck up, Chandler.

  Taylor looked at me, confused. “What happened?”

  Kassi laughed nervously as she pushed Chandler away. “They probably need to get a table, hon, it was good to see you guys.”

  After Kassi towed him away, I walked to the podium. That chick that was with Joel a few nights ago was standing behind it, blushing at me. Christ, this never ends.

  “Reservation for Hayze,” I said even though she knew.

  “Right this way,” she said, winking. She grabbed menus and walked in front of us. Banging a guy and trying to bang his roommate in the same week? You should put that on your resume.

  We’re seated in a booth in the back, but it’s still surrounded by people. This place is always packed. I sit across from her. Grabbing my menu, I shoved it in my face, avoiding her. I needed to calm my shit before we talked. I was bombarded back there.

  Maybe she’ll let me be. If I play it right, she’ll wait until later to bring it up. But knowing her, she’s glaring at me through the menu, waiting for me to spill.

  “What was Chandler talking about?”

  Trying to mask my laugh, I began coughing. With a scowl, she crossed her arms and I knew I didn’t have a way out of this. I could go with my plan to ease her into my life. Drop hints, and see if she could put them together. But I knew her past…She didn’t have a clue about people like me or my lifestyle. At this point I was almost begging the universe to tell her.

  “I had a bet going on with myself…I thought you would wait until after the food got here.”

  “Cute,” she deadpanned.

  “You never cease to amaze me.”

  “Stop! What happened?” She asked, grabbing the menu from my face.

  Just let it go! Groaning, “That night of the wreck he got arrested. And I didn’t tell you because it’s not our business. What the fuck do we care about that guy anyway?”

  A gangly redhead walked to our table, pausing our conversation. “Hey guys, I’m Rance, I’ll be your waiter tonight. What can I get you to drink?” He asked as he passed our drink napkins out. He looked at me once, then smiled at Taylor. If I could legally cut his eyes out, I would.

  “Water is fine,” Taylor said.

  “Miller tap,” I said, my tone was cold as ice.

  “Can I see…your,” he stuttered as I shot him a go-to-hell-glare. “…never mind.” He backed awa
y from the table and scrambled off to get our drinks. Taylor slapped the table with her mouth hanging open.

  “He was fucking flirting with you right in front of me!”

  “Yeah? But did you see me glaring at the hostess for flirting with you?” She asked, cocking her eyebrow.

  I played indifferent. Sure the girl was flirting with me, but she was just with Joel. If Taylor wasn’t in my life, that would still be a no. “What are you talking about?”

  “Nothing, forget I said anything. So, Joel, why was he arrested?” She asked as a different waiter dropped off our drinks. I guess I scared him off…No one will ever flirt with her in front of me.

  “He had something on him that he shouldn’t have had,” I said, hoping that would be enough.

  “So, that’s why you wanted to leave? You didn’t want us to get arrested?”

  I stuffed my mouth with bread, looking at her like she’s dumb. “Yeah…That’s exactly why I left…I don’t want my girlfriend getting arrested, why would that be a problem?”

  “You could’ve stayed and helped them clean up, or do anything you could for them. You don’t just leave your friend to get arrested!”

  “He’s not my friend,” I said, shrugging.

  “Really, Hayze? Really?” She asked in complete shock.

  How do I tell her she’s all I care about? How can I get that through her stubborn head? It sucked Joel got arrested, but he’s an idiot and it was bound to happen. I’m smart about what I do and I’m not ever letting Taylor get in trouble.

  Clenching my teeth, I grew frustrated of constantly explaining myself. Everything I do now is for her. How can she not see that? I threw my breadstick down, wiped my hands, and tossed my napkin in front of me.

  “If I remember correctly, and I do because I was the only fucking sober one there, I beat the shit out of him for being a dick to you. I got you out of there as fast as I could so you wouldn’t get arrested and I didn’t say a damn word about it. Any sane person would be thanking me, but you,” I laugh, attempting to contain my temper. “You, just want to pick a fight with me. Why the hell does it matter that some dumb fuck was arrested for having coke after we already left?”

  “Coke?” She scrunched her nose and I nodded my head yes. Come on, baby. Put it together. Realize I’m a shitty person. Run far, far away from me. Because I sure as hell can’t leave you for long. “How much of it did you actually do for me, Hayze? You’re telling me Joel didn’t piss you off about something else, or maybe you didn’t want to get arrested?”

  “Look, this can go two ways, we stop fighting…or not.” I shrugged, nonchalant. “Either way, I’m not leaving you alone. I’m not going to give up on this because we can’t get our shit together. You can make me the happiest man in the world or nag me until I throw this fucking bread basket through the window, but I’m not going anywhere, because you do both of those things better than anyone I’ve ever known. And for some reason un-fucking-known to me, you love me. I’ll take you either way, any day of the week.”

  Her eyes went wide before nodding. “You’re right, sorry.”

  “You’re what? I couldn’t hear you,’ I laughed, pointing to my ear.

  She shook her head. “That was a one-time apology.”

  Sliding over to her side, I planted a kiss on her lips. It’s quick, but she pulled back, breathless.

  “I need you to trust me, Taylor, I’ll tell you anything you need to know,” I said.

  And trust me, you don’t need to know everything.

  “I trust you,” she said a little too fast. It was probably a lie, but I smiled and kissed her anyway. The dumbass waiter comes back to the table reluctantly.

  “Do you need more time to look over the menu?” He asked, only looking at me.

  “You know what you want?” I asked, looking over the menu again. I always wait until the last second and pick the first thing I see.

  “Yeah, I wanted to try this pasta last time I was here,” she said pointing to my menu. “But we left before we ordered.”

  “When did you come here?” I asked. She quickly looked away, and I had to exhale a long breath, reminding myself I’d done a lot of shit in the last few days. It wasn’t other girls…It wouldn’t ever be, but if I could stay coked out of my mind for three days, I guess she could be forgiven of one date.

  “I can come back if I need to?” Rance asked.

  I shook my head no and ordered two of whatever she pointed to. My mind wasn’t on the food. I kept thinking about asking her when she had been here. She tried to strike up conversation and I added in, but it wasn’t the same. I needed to shake it off and step up if I wanted her to know I could change.

  “Do you have your schedule for next semester?” I asked.

  A food runner sets our food in front of us and wishes us a great dinner.

  “Of course. I met with my advisor the first day of early registration, and I…When you and Lea were gone, I ordered my books and found the buildings.”

  Not knowing what to say, I shook my head. “Sorry.”

  “What about you? Everything set for your last semester?”

  “Yup,” I said. I knew it bothered her, but I didn’t see the point in making a big deal about graduating.

  “I can’t believe I didn’t know,” she said, frowning.

  “Why would I tell anyone? It’s not a big deal…” I looked at her as if she was crazy. Her jaw fell open as she began to laugh.

  “That’s a huge deal! Were you just going to tell me that day or what? Oh, surprise I’m graduating and moving away.”

  Raising my brown, I pushed my food around with my fork. Did this girl think I’d leave her behind?

  “I’m graduating and immediately coming back in the fall…I still have three more years of being here…”

  “I see your point…It’s stupid but I see it,” she said. I shook my head, hiding a smile. I had to admit, she was pretty funny at my expense.

  “It’s good, right?” I asked.

  “So good!”

  Like a stalker, I watched her eat her food, smiling when she moaned in satisfaction. God, I’m whipped. I really am. Joel wasn’t lying.

  I took a bite of my food. “This is…weird,” I said.

  She bunched her brows together, thinking. “What is?”

  “Being with you like this,” I said, motioning around the restaurant.

  She sat her fork down, glaring at me. “Care to elaborate?”

  Chuckling, I leaned over the table. “We’re either fucking or fighting.”

  Her jaw dropped, but she quickly recovered when she saw my smile. As much as we would like to deny it, I was right. I needed to treat her better. I should take her out more…I shouldn’t yell at her. I probably shouldn’t do coke, but one thing at a time.

  “I hate you,” she said. Picking her fork up, she took another bite.

  “I love you,” I said, smirking. She didn’t say anything, but heat rose to her cheeks.

  After she finished eating, I grabbed the check and we headed out. I wasn’t ready for the night to end, but I didn’t think I should ask her to come over. I knew what that would lead to and I wanted to show her that she meant more to me.

  When we got to the Mustang, I opened the door for her and jogged over to my side, thinking of a plan.

  “What’s going on over there?” She asked.

  When I stopped at the red-light, I looked over, finding the dance hall Lea used to drag me to. “The building right there,” I said, pointing to the building in front of it. “Is a police station. Cops are always outside. They just sit there and wait for it to close and arrest people.”

  She laughed, “Who puts a bar by a police station?”

  “The same person that would open a dance hall…In any location,” I said honestly.

  “Lea talks about that place all the time! She wants to take me there!”

  “Of course she does,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  If Lea wanted Taylor to go, I would have to go. I�
�m not letting that careless girl take my girlfriend to a bar. When the light turned, I jerked the car last minute, sending Taylor flying to the middle console.

  “Shit, sorry, I don’t wanna go that way. The brick fucks with the car’s alignment,” I lied. I just wanted to buy extra time with her.

  “Oh, we can’t have that. Please slam me around the car to protect your baby,” she said, patting the dashboard.

  “I appreciate your cooperation, but I was going to do it anyway.”

  “Are we going back?” She asked, noticing we were almost back to the campus. Why the hell did I come this way?

  “We’ll do whatever you want,” I said, shrugging nonchalantly.

  “I never do anything…I don’t even know what there is to do here…All I do is go to work and class, and sometimes Lea drags me to a bar.”

  “Well, let me show you around,” I said hopeful and she nodded.

  I drove through the boring town, pointing out buildings to her. She perked up toward the end of the strip. “Oh my god, there’s a miniature golf and bowling alley here?”

  “Yeah…”

  “Is the bowling alley open? Do you wanna go bowling?” She asked, bouncing in her seat.

  My brows shot up as I looked at her. “Bowling?”

  I’ve never met someone so excited over bowling. She almost reminded me of myself seeing a bag of coke after shaking and convulsing for hours.

  “My Nana used to take Scott and me bowling all of the time. I haven’t been in forever,” she said. Sighing, I pulled in the parking lot and locked my door before getting out. This place was so sketchy.

  “What about Sean?” I asked, chuckling. Her older brother was a douche canoe.

  As I opened the door for her, she laughed. “She didn’t get along with him. She stopped asking after he told on her to my dad. She liked to drink, but according to her it was for medical purposes…Sean wasn’t having it.”

  “I need to meet this lady. She’s probably the only one in the family that would like me.”

  “She passed away,” she said, walking ahead of me. Shit.

  “Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”