Ruined (The Hazed Series Book 3)

by Brittany Butler

  “It’s New Year’s Eve, we’re all gonna drink too much. I’m just saving myself an extra trip,” I said, chuckling.

  “You two are like watching a train wreck,” Lea said.

  “We’re actually getting along really good right now,” Taylor said grinning at me.

  The door swung open and Chandler walks through followed by Kassi. Chandler threw his thirty-pack on the counter and walked in our direction. I patted Taylor’s thighs and she hopped up, and walked over to Kassi.

  “What’s the plan?” He asked, clasping my shoulder.

  “Ask them,” I said. Truthfully I didn’t want to go out. I hated going places on holidays.

  He looked at me then to the kitchen where Taylor was. “Are we drinking or…What?”

  “I’m just drinking, man. I’m done with all that,” I said. I’m not done with it really, but I’m trying and that’s the first step. It’s better if everyone thinks I’m done.

  Kassi walked over, looping her arm through Chandlers. “My parents are coming tomorrow. Tonight’s gonna be lame for me,” she said, frowning.

  “You’re gonna be hungover meeting her parents?” I asked him.

  His face was priceless as he stuttered over an excuse. “I…Well…I’m not meeting them this trip.”

  Frowning, she shook her head at me. “He has commitment issues.”

  “I do not…It’s still early,” he said, defending himself. Although it bothered her, she laughed at him.

  “I’ve met Taylor’s parents,” I said and his brows shot up. “They hate me.”

  He nodded, “As expected.”

  Kassi busted into laughter. “I’m not sure I’d want my daughter dating either of you.”

  “What does that say about you?” Chandler asked, amused.

  While they bickered, I looked over, finding Taylor seated next to Lea. She was holding a drink, but she looked tired. Maybe she would change her mind and we could stay here.

  Chandler clapped, getting my attention back. “Let’s get the fuck out of here before everything is packed.”

  “Taylor,” Lea said, concerned. I looked over at them, finding them in the same spot. She looks so pale and unfused. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” she managed to say. I stood still like a statue watching her. Something isn’t right…Is she sick? She stood up, steadying herself before she took a step. I already knew what was coming as I stalked over to her. I caught her as she began to fall.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  She looks at me…Her eyes are so out of focus. “I feel…”

  “You feel what, Taylor?” I asked, panicked.

  She closed her eyes, giggling “There you are.”

  I laid her on the couch, crouching beside her. Is she drunk? What the hell happened? I took my eyes off her for five minutes….

  “Lea, what the fuck happened?”

  “I don’t know! She got a drink and came back and started acting weird,” Lea said, pacing behind me

  “Can we stay here?” Taylor asked, reaching out for me.

  “Yeah, baby, we’re staying here,” I said, lying. I’m about to load her up and take her to the hospital if someone doesn’t give me an answer.

  “Who the hell got my drinks?” Joel asked. Everything stood still. My entire life made sense as soon as he spoke those words. I was put on this planet to end his life. I stood up, leaving Taylor with Lea, and stalked over to him.

  “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?”

  “I didn’t do shit!” Joel said, looking around, confused.

  “Oh my god,” Lea shrieked as she put the pieces together.

  “What did you put in those drinks, Joel?” Shea demanded as she came up behind me.

  “Oh shit,” Joel laughed. “Did she drink both of those drinks?”

  “Yeah, she did asshole! So why don’t you tell us what was in the damn drink,” Lea yelled as she came up to him.

  “Lea, I’ll handle this,” I said, holding my hand up. “Did you drug my girlfriend?”

  “No…I was drugging myself and your girlfriend interfered with that,” he said, still laughing. He clearly thinks this is a joke. “Look, man, she’ll enjoy it, go out and have a good time. Calm the fuck down.”

  I laughed without humor as I walked around the bar, closer to him. “I’m far from calm. What was in the drinks?”

  “Whiskey…And a few Xanax. Four of ‘em.”

  “What?” Some chick shrieks. I didn’t even notice she was there I was so pissed. “You were planning on giving that to me?”

  “Lighten up,” he said.

  “Asshole,” she said. Grabbing her purse, she stalked out of the front door.

  “I had to do something. Lea was gonna tell her about Jenny,” he said, shrugging.

  I looked at him as if he was the dumbest asshole on earth. He was going to drug a girl on purpose? And that girl ended up being mine…

  Pacing around the kitchen, I shook my head. “Lea, take Taylor in the bathroom. See what you can do.”

  “Maybe you should go with her, Hayze… She needs you right now,” she said, knowing what’s about to happen.

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” I snapped at her.

  Shea and Lea lift Taylor from the couch. On their way to the bathroom, Lea stops. “Please don’t do anything stupid,” she said. I responded with laughter.

  I’m way past that.

  I looked around the living room and kitchen. Chandler and Kassi were the only ones left. Chandler had his beer on the bar, watching us, ready to step in. Kassi looked scared out of her mind.

  “Kassi, go see if Lea needs help,” I said. She looked at Chandler and he nodded. She walked down the hall, leaving us alone. I wanted to send him out, but he probably needed to be here for this.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to calm down. In the back of my mind, I knew I fucked-up this time. It was over, but the irrational part of me still hoped Taylor could get past this. If I handled this maturely, maybe she would stay with me.

  “You drugged my girlfriend,” I said, throwing my hands up. “You hear me talking about this girl, man. You know what she means to me…”

  “She was gonna find out,” he said, shrugging.

  With my first balled, I slammed them on the cabinet. “NOT LIKE THIS!”

  “I find it absolutely hilarious the guy that use to snort coke and eat pills like fuckin’ candy, is mad because his girlfriend drank a spiked drink. Grow a pair of balls, dude. I had to listen to you cry all last week when she dumped your ass! You’re just pissed she’ll breakup with you again when she wakes up.”

  I looked at Chandler, who shrugged at me, giving me the go ahead. Joel will never understand what he did. It doesn’t matter how many times I punch him, he’ll never understand.

  I can’t believe I’m standing here, weighing my options and thinking rationally. I know I should be in there with her, but I’m not ready to face her. I did this to her. She should’ve never been in the positions I’ve put her in.

  “It was just a few pills, she’ll be fine. You’re seriously worried? You did coke for three days straight last week, I thought you were gonna die, but…”

  “Are you a fucking idiot? She can probably hear you!”

  He shrugged his shoulders as he took another swig of his beer. I grabbed it from his hand and slammed it into his head. He staggered back, and I tackled him to the ground. I threw punches until Chandler drug me off.

  “HAYZE,” Chandler yelled, trying to calm me down. I was pushing him off. I wasn’t done with Joel. His dumb ass deserved more than a concussion. He fucking drugged my girlfriend and didn’t have the decency to apologize.

  “Go check on her. I’ve got this,” he said, pushing me back.

  I looked down at Joel, bleeding and laying in the floor and I still wanted nothing more than to kill him. It took every ounce of power I had to walk away, but I did.

  When I got to the bathroom, they were circled around Taylor. She had her head in Lea’s lap, b
ut she was out cold. Shea and Kassi walked out, leaving me and Lea alone with her.

  “She’s fine…She threw up. She just needs to sleep it off.”

  I rubbed my hand over my face, pacing the small room. “How do you know? We need to get her to the hospital!”

  She shook her head. “She’s fine. I promise, Hayze.”

  With my back against the wall, I slid down beside them. “Those were my pills. I don’t know how he got those.”

  “You better press charges against him!” She said, glaring at me.

  I laughed once without any humor. “If you could see him now, you’d know that’s not a good idea.”

  A few painful minutes passed by without either of us saying a word. At least I was comforted by the steady sound of her breathing. Lea was right, she’ll be okay. She just has to sleep it off.

  “Should I tell her?”

  She shook her head. “You’ve put it off too long.”

  “This was my fault.”

  She grabbed my shoulder, forcing me to look at her. “Don’t even start, Hayze. Don’t do this to yourself again…This wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

  I snorted, “Of course I did. I should’ve told her.”

  “Don’t,” she warned me again. “I’m not letting you go back to that…You need to tell your mom what’s going on. You need help.”

  “I’m getting off of everything,” I said.

  She looked at me knowingly. “This is all gonna blow up…After some time, you guys will be okay. Promise me you won’t turn to anything until then?”

  “Yeah, sure,” I said, standing up.

  I need to get out of here to think. I lifted Taylor from Lea’s lap and held her close. Lea opened the door for me.

  “You need anything?” She asked.

  “Yeah. Advice. How do you convince the girl you’re in love with to not leave you because she was drugged by your roommate?”

  She opened my car door, helping me put Taylor in. “Can’t help you there,” she said.

  I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. She squeezed me back and I instantly felt better. Sometimes you just need your little sister.

  “Love you,” she said, frowning as I got in my car.

  Scott drove up before I had the chance to leave. Cringing, I rolled down the window. I knew he was about to lose his mind. The last thing I needed was a fight with her brother. I watched Lea explain everything to him then he looked over at me.

  “Is she alright?” He asked, peeking through my window.

  I shook my head. “Lea said she threw everything up.”

  “Where is he?”

  “I took care of him,” I said.

  He laughed sadistically. “That’s not what I asked. He drugged my baby sister, where is he?”

  Lea walked up, grabbing his arm. “Chandler took him somewhere.”

  He paced the length of my car twice before stopping at my window again. “Fuck! How could you let this happen?”

  “It wasn’t his fault. That asshole was trying to drug another girl and Taylor got the drink. This has nothing to do with Hayze!” Lea seethed.

  He shook his head. “You’re right. Sorry man.”

  “I’m gonna take her out to the cabin…I’ll tell her everything in the morning,” I said. He nodded and walked with Lea to the apartment.

  When we got to the cabin, I put Taylor in comfortable clothes and put her in bed. I stood there, watching her sleep for a while. I knew it was unlikely that I would get any sleep tonight, so I walked from the room.

  I don’t know why I always came to this god forsaken place. It was almost like it was drawing me to bring it more bad memories. My dad was arrested here, my brother was stabbed here, and now the only girl I would ever love would end me here.

  I pulled my pill bottle from my pocket, letting a couple pills dissolve under my tongue. I could sit here all night, dreading the rising sun, or I could sleep with Taylor for likely the last time.

  Walking back in the room, I kicked off my jeans and tugged my shirt over my head. I crawled in beside her, holding her in my arms. Part of me wanted to lie to her. Would she remember what happened? But I knew in the back of my mind one of the girls would tell her if I didn’t and it’s better that it comes from me.

  Sighing, I pulled her closer. I’ll tell her everything and let her decide if she wants to stay. It’s the right thing to do. I can’t ask her with a clear conscious to stay with me if I throw the blame on Joel. She has to know about me.

  30

  THE MORNING AFTER

  I slept like shit. I woke up before the sun rose and took a shower. She was starting to stir, which meant shit was about to go down. My biggest fears were now my reality. She shifted again, and I reached around, pulling her to me. Smiling, she placed a kiss on my throat. I clenched my eyes together, wishing I didn’t have to do this. I didn’t want that to be the last time I felt her lips on me. I didn’t want this to be the last time I held her. Maybe after I told her everything, she would finally understand me. I know I can change. Maybe she can see the good in me.

  “You smell good,” she said. Her voice was raspy which only made me feel worse.

  “I just took a shower. I made breakfast and there’s water beside the bed. Can you sit up? You should drink some.”

  Squinting, she opened an eye and nodded. I helped her up as she groaned and held the sides of her head. She leaned against the headboard as I handed her water. She sucked the water down, handing it to me when she finished.

  I pushed her hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. Although she looked rough, she was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I kissed her forehead, being extra attentive with her.

  “Better?”

  “Much better,” she said, nodding. Looking around the room, she laughed weakly. “What happened last night?”

  “You feel like eating breakfast?” I asked.

  “Sure,” she said.

  I helped her from the bed, noticing she cringed when she looked down. During the night, I pulled that ridiculously sparkly dress off and put her in my clothes. They didn’t fit, but I knew she was comfortable.

  She walked in the bathroom while I went to the kitchen and pulled her breakfast from the microwave. I woke up extra early and cooked when I couldn’t go back to sleep. When she comes out of the bathroom, she’s smiling as she sees me standing by her food.

  God, how I wish that smile could stay there.

  “Bacon and eggs. My favorite, how did you know?”

  “It was just a hunch,” I deadpanned.

  She hopped on the stool, frowning at me. Not wasting any time, she popped a piece of bacon in her mouth.

  “Do you feel as bad as I do?”

  “Worse,” I said. With my hands pressed on the counter, I dropped my head.

  “I wish I looked like you when I was hungover,” she said, still trying to lighten the mood.

  “I’m not hungover, Taylor.”

  She tossed her bacon down, angrily. Did she remember what happened? She looked at me, confused. As if she was waiting for me to explain.

  “Okay, what the hell happened last night?”

  Taking my time, I nervously rub the back of my head. I want more than anything to feed her more lies. I wish she would let it go and know in her heart I was trying to change.

  “You were drugged,” sighing. “It was an accident, but it happened.”

  “What? How?”

  “Joel made some drinks and you didn’t know what was in them…I wasn’t paying attention,” I said, tears were stinging my eyes. With my teeth clench, I refused to shed a tear. Instead, I sent her plate soaring across the room. It thumped into the wall, food and glass slid down into a heaping mess on the floor. “Chandler pulled me off of him and he left. When I see that fucker again…”

  She held her hand up, stopping me. “He didn’t do it on purpose…Just let it go. What was in the drinks?”

  “Xanax. A lot of them, you t
hrew up. It helped. I was freaking out, I wanted to take you to the hospital, but Lea said you were okay. Your brother is pissed, he showed up after Joel left.”

  She rested her forehead in her hand, thinking. “Why did he even have that in your apartment? Are they his prescription?”

  “No,” I said. It was a lie, but I’m not ready to get into that part of my life. The point is, I do and sell drugs and that’s all she needs to know right now.

  “Are you prescribed?”

  “No,” I lied.

  “Do you take them?” She asked, reluctantly. I could tell that she really didn’t want to know the answer.

  I couldn’t look at her. I dropped my head and nodded. “And sell them.”

  “What else, Hayze?” She asked urgently.

  Be honest. Put everything out there. I’ll have nothing to hide.

  “Weed…And coke.”

  She hoped off the bar stool, backing away from me.

  “Was this some sort of joke to you?” She yelled as she swiped tears from her eyes. She ran in the bedroom and closed the door. Lucky for me, there’s no lock on it. When I walked in, she was laying on the bed with her face tucked in the pillows.

  “Let me explain everything…” I begged, crouching beside the bed.

  “I’ve given you chance after chance to explain, Hayze! This is your fault! If I would’ve known you were on drugs, I wouldn’t be here! I wouldn’t have been in that position last night!”

  Wrong thing to say. I caught her wrist, pulling her from the bed. I was so angry I was sure the veins were bulging from my face as I yelled. “You think I don’t fucking know that?”

  She moved away from me and I immediately felt bad for jerking her up. “Take me home. Now!”

  I shook my head. We weren’t leaving here until I knew where we stood together. “I know last night and everything else wrong in your life is my fault. You think I don’t know that?”

  Sobbing, her face plants into her hands. “You’re on drugs.”

  “I’m not on drugs. I was…I barely do anything anymore, Taylor, you have to believe me…When you came around everything changed,” I said honestly.

  “Yeah, well everything changed for me when you came around,” she snapped with narrow eyes.