by K. J. Dahlen
“How do you know that?” Cassie asked.
“I may have only been seventeen at the time but I knew my sister very well. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of years because I didn’t know where she was living but when I found her that last time, you were about three years old. Hell, toward the end, she didn’t really even like Flynn that much. They were only together for four years. She told me she only stayed with him because of you. She felt you needed a father as well as a mother.”
Cassie snorted. “Yeah well, I could have done better without him in my life.”
“What happened to your sister?” Deke asked. “Do you know how she died?”
Deacon nodded. His eyes were sad. “Like I said, I was only seventeen when she died. I found her a week before it happened. She wasn’t happy, even I knew that. She claimed Flynn was drinking and doping a lot and it bothered her that Josette was seeing him that way.”
“Was he bad to her?’ Cassie had to ask. She was remembering the loud voice that awoke her almost every night.
Deacon nodded. “They were fighting a lot. Jemmia told me she was thinking about leaving him. She was only seventeen when she got pregnant with you. Our parents were already gone by that time and I had gone to live with another uncle. She thought her, Flynn and the baby would be a family. She missed being part of that closeness. And at first, Flynn wanted a family but after you were born, he realized how much work it was to have a baby in the house and he found he didn’t like all the changes that came with it. Jemmia was so busy taking care of you that he felt neglected. The last time I saw her, she had a black eye. I wanted to beat the shit out of Flynn but she wouldn’t let me. She said to wait until after you and she were gone and then I could beat the tar out of him. She told me she had a plan to take you and disappear, somewhere where Flynn couldn’t find them. Somewhere, she felt it would be safe for the two of you. Flynn had some connections in Boston she didn’t care for and she was worried about you being safe.” He paused and looked at Cassie. “She loved you very much you know. You were her whole world.”
“What happened then?” Cassie asked.
“A week later, my sister was gone. Flynn told the cops some fucking story about his dealer coming after him cuz he owed them money. He said they broke in and Jemmia was in the wrong place at the wrong time and they beat her to death but his hands told me a different story. Your mother died at his hands, not some random strangers. He never would give the cops the name of his dealer, so I doubt the cops believed him but their hands were tied.” He shrugged. “By the time I got back to ask my own questions, Flynn and you had disappeared. A neighbor told me Flynn had taken you to a friend. He said he couldn’t take care of a small kid and that it was better this way. I tried to find you but didn’t know where to look. Then he disappeared as well. I searched Boston, off and on for years and didn’t find either of you.”
“He didn’t leave me with a friend for safe keeping.” Cassie sneered. “He sold me to an evil bitch for money he used to get high.”
Deacon’s hands curled into fists and he broke the handle of his coffee cup. “Is that bastard still alive?”
Cassie shrugged. “He was yesterday but today…could be another story.”
“What?” Deacon cocked his head to one side, staring at her.
“Let’s just say my father made a very bad mistake sixteen years ago that came back to bite him in the ass.” Cassie grinned. “If he’s still alive this morning, he’s probably wishing he wasn’t.”
Deacon turned his head and stared at Rufus. “I see you got your mother’s talent.”
Cassie turned and gazed at the tiger on the wall. “My mother knew Rufus too?”
Deacon smiled. “Oh yeah, she told me he was the only one she could talk to that truly understood her. She showed me his picture when she was fourteen.”
“Is that how you came to know him?” Deke asked her.
“It must be.” Cassie nodded. “I must have remembered her telling me about him when I was very young.” Then she frowned while she stared at Deacon. “Yes, I remember now. She told me about you. She said that if anything happened to her, I should always remember my uncle Jethro.” Her eyes got wide as the memory of her mother flooded her brain. “That’s who you are, my uncle Jethro Ryan!”
Deacon winced. “I prefer the name Deacon.” His look softened. “But yeah, I’m your uncle.” Reaching out to her, he waited until she took his hand. “I’m so glad to find you again.” He glanced around the room and his gaze finally landed on Deke. “How the bloody hell did you end up with him?”
Cassie laughed out loud. “Would you believe I came into his club looking for a friend of mine?”
Deke smiled as he remembered their first meeting. “Then she took on three of our brothers and came out on top.”
Deacon winced again. Looking the worse for wear…He agreed. “Yeah, I can believe that. She fights like her life depended on it.”
“Very often it does,” Cassie told him quietly.
“Deacon, we should probably talk in my office. I know we have things to discuss,” Deke said as he got to his feet.
Deacon followed him down the hall and the door closed behind them.
Reva got busy in the kitchen and Gator sat down with Cassie.
“I suppose he’s telling him my story,” she said finally.
Gator nodded. “Probably.”
“Do you suppose Deacon will hate me when he finds out what happened?” Cassie whispered.
Gator turned his head slowly and stared at her for a moment in surprise. “Why the hell would Deacon hate you?”
“Because I’m dirty and broken,” she whispered as a lone tear rolled down her cheek.
Gator leaned closer and took her hand. “Now you listen to me spitfire, you are not dirty and you are certainly not broken. Not to me, not to Deke and nobody here thinks of you that way. Do you hear me, girl?”
Cassie nodded but tears still fell from her eyes.
Gator brushed them away with his thumbs. “The fact that you lived through everything she did to you just means you have a strong spirit. She couldn’t break you anymore than life could.”
Just then, they all heard the sound of breaking glass and a roar that no one could name. The door to Deke’s office was thrown open and Deacon stomped out. He paused to glare at the painting on the wall, then turned and left the clubhouse. They all heard his motorcycle roar as it came to life and the sound faded as he rode away.
Deke finally came out of the office. He glanced at Gator and shook his head slightly. When he sat down at the table, no one said a word about what just happened.
Finally, Cassie whispered, “He didn’t take it well did he?”
“Did you really think he would?” Deke asked.
Cassie hung her head. “Does he blame me for what happened?”
Deke tipped her head up with his hand. “Listen to me Spitfire girl…the man just found out that the one man who was supposed to love and protect you, sold you to a woman running a damn kiddy selling ring. I didn’t have time to tell him everything but I think you should. He’s your family.”
Cassie stared at the open door of the clubhouse. “Do you think he’ll come back?”
Deke chuckled. “I don’t think he’ll want to miss anymore of your life. He’s already missed eighteen years. He’ll be back.”
“I sure hope so,” Cassie replied. “I want to hear all about my Mom. I don’t really remember her all that well anymore, although I can still hear her voice sometimes when I dream.”
CHAPTER TWO
Deacon rode through the countryside like the demons of hell were following him. The wind wanted to suck the air from his lungs and the burn was almost welcome. The rage that he felt as he listened to Deke inform him of what Cassie’s life had been like as she survived the hell her father put her in was like none other he’d ever felt before.
He saw the road signs for Albany before he slowed down. He hadn’t r
ealized he’d been riding for almost an hour. He slowed his bike, made a u turn, then headed back for Troy and the clubhouse. He knew Cassie would be there waiting for him.
When he’d first seen the tiger painting on the wall, he’d been stunned beyond belief. He looked just like Jemmia had described him all those years ago. It had been a revelation to him to finally see the Rufus she’d told him about. She had described him in detail. As he sat there staring at the beast, Deacon wondered about all the secrets the drawing alluded to. What really blew his mind was the fact that Jemmia hadn’t drawn him but her daughter had.
When he hadn’t been able to find his sister’s little girl or Flynn all these years, his heart had been broken. It left a hole in his soul that time hadn’t been able to fill. Now she was back, despite everything she’d been through she was still alive and had come back into his life. This time, he would step up and take care of her, like he didn’t have the opportunity to do before.
He frowned as he thought of what had brought her back into his life. Deke had told him of how she’d come looking for her friend and he’d noticed that she had come out of his President bedroom. The first thing Deacon was going to do was ask what her position in the club was.
It might not be any of his business but he wasn’t going to allow his boss to take advantage of his niece. He was the only family she had left.
When Deacon got back to the clubhouse, he noted that Deke and Gator’s bikes were not in the slots they were in when he’d left.
Beside and behind the clubhouse was a row of three bedroom cabins. The guys and their families lived there. Deke lived right inside the clubhouse but had the keys to a cabin as well. Deacon’s cabin was the second one. He was neighbors with Gator on one side and Wiley on the other. He went to his cabin to change his clothes and shower. Being gone on club business for three weeks, he didn’t know when he’d showered last.
He just hoped Cassie was still there. If he needed to go looking for her, he would but he was tired. He just wanted to know she was safe.
When he entered the clubhouse after cleaning up, he heard a laugh he hadn’t heard in eighteen years. He turned and headed for the kitchen. There he found Cassie and Reva laughing together. Deacon paused just inside the door. He couldn’t take his eyes off Cassie. Finally, he broke the silence, “You have your mother’s laugh. Did you know that? You sounded for a moment—just like her.”
Cassie’s eyes widened. She took a step toward him and paused. “Really?”
Deacon nodded. “In fact, you have a lot of your mother in you. It seems you only inherited the color of your dad’s hair. Everything else is straight from Jemmia.”
Cassie hesitated a little then asked, “Can you tell me about her? I don’t remember much about her. I was very young when she died.”
Deacon smiled. “At least I had seventeen years with her.” He held out his hand and waited until she took it. He pulled her into the main room and then he began to tell her stories of growing up with Jemmia.
~* * * *~
Some of the stories made her laugh while some made her cry but as the hours passed, she got to know her mother again. She also got to know her uncle.
By late afternoon, Deacon had fallen asleep, using her lap as a pillow. They were both sitting on one of the sofas. Cassie sat there while he slept, running her fingers through his hair.
Reva had come out a little while ago to check on them and found Deacon sleeping.
Cassie had put a finger to her lips and shook her head.
Reva smiled and went back to the kitchen.
Soon, Cassie heard the sounds of returning motorcycles, so she knew Deke and Gator along with the other brothers would be here soon. She always felt excitement at the thought of seeing Deke. But Deacon would wake up shortly and that made her sad. This was the first time she’d ever gotten the chance to catch up with her past and she wasn’t ready to let go of that just yet.
When Deke and Gator came in they were both talking about the day’s events. When Deke looked around and found her and Deacon, he stopped and grinned. Then he came over to the sofa and knelt down in front of her. “Is everything okay now? I mean between you and him?”
Cassie shrugged. “I hope so. He told me all about my mom today. With his stories, she came alive for me again. I remembered the little things I’d forgotten about her.” Tears welled in her eyes. “He told me he looked for me after Mom died.” She began crying. “I never knew he did that. I thought all this time there was nobody out there who gave a damn what happened to me.”
“Well, you were wrong then weren’t you?” Deacon growled from her lap. His bloodshot eyes opened and for a moment, he glared at Deke before he turned his head and looked at Cassie. He sat up and swung his legs over the front of the sofa. Staring at Deke, he said, “You and me gotta talk.” He got up and walked to Deke’s office without saying a word.
Deke raised his eyebrows and gazed at Cassie then turned to stare at Gator. He then stood up and headed for his office. When he heard Gator following him, he held up his hand to stop his Vice President.
Gator stopped and watched as he went through the door and closed it behind him. He turned his head to glance at Cassie then found his wife standing nearby.
Reva shrugged and came over to him.
Gator wrapped his arm around her and sighed. “Let’s hope Deke survives,” he whispered in her ear.
Reva chuckled. “Oh, I think he can hold his own.”
Gator grunted. “You don’t know men staking out boundaries.”
“What does that mean?” Reva whispered.
“Deacon is gonna ream him a new one. You wait and see.”
Cassie put her feet one the floor and groaned as she stood. “I think I need a moment.” She made her way to Deke’s bedroom.
~* * * *~
Deke closed the door behind him and watched as Deacon paced back and forth in front of his desk. He had an idea that he knew what was about to be said and he didn’t like the feeling coming over him. He didn’t have to answer to anyone about his personal business and he wasn’t starting now. “What did you want to see me about?”
Deacon swung around to his club President and scowled. “I think you should know that I’m not happy with the situation between you and Cassie.”
“And why is that?” Deke asked. He was trying to keep his calm but wasn’t very good at it. No one had questioned him since he became President of the club and he wasn’t going to let it happen now.
Deacon scowled. “I know it’s not my business and maybe I’m way out of line, but she’s the only family I got.”
“You’re right,” Deke growled. “It is none of your damn business.”
Deacon stood tall. “She’s kin man. I’m all she’s got and she’s all I got.”
“And that’s the reason I’m not taking you out at the knees.” Deke glared at him. “She’s my woman whether you like it or not. I’m not letting her go, not for you or anybody else.”
Deacon looked tired and disgusted as he hung his head. “I know you told me about what she went through when she was younger. I don’t want her to go through anything like that again.”
“Son, I told you only a little of what she went through when she was younger,” Deke explained. “I didn’t tell you everything. I don’t know everything myself. There is more to her story I do know that. I hope one day, she’ll feel like she can trust me enough to tell me but I know there are things she went through, nobody knows yet.”
“There’s more to her story?”
Deke gave him a nod. “I didn’t have time this morning to tell you everything. I only hit the highlights. That poor girl has been to hell and back. I guess I wanted to clue you into a small part of what her life was like, so you would understand a little bit about her.” Deke ran his fingers through his hair. “You saw how she was when you grabbed her?”
Deacon nodded.
“She really doesn’t like to be touched unless she
initializes it. Several of my men made the same mistake and they paid the price for their stupidity.” Deke chuckled. “She gives fair warning I have to admit that. There is a reason for her fears and it’s a good one. I’m hoping with the right kind of touch, she’ll lose her fear one day, but that day isn’t here yet.” Deke went to his chair and sat down. He reached into his drawer for the bottle he had there and poured a couple of shots. “I understand where you’re coming from but you have to understand something too. She’s with me because I want her and she wants me back. I can’t say that love is part of that yet, but I won’t say that it isn’t either. For right now, I’m asking that you just let it be. You are family and to her, that means something. I know it means something to you too. Get to know her, learn what her secrets are.” Deke gulped the shot down and stared at Deacon. “I won’t give her up. If that makes me selfish, then I’m guilty. All you need to know right now is that I’m keeping her.”
Deacon nodded. “All of that may be true, but Deke, I’ll tell you something…If you hurt her I will kill you man. Don’t ever doubt that. She’s had enough pain in her life for three lifetimes. I will protect her from this day forward, even if it’s from you.”
Deke nodded and poured them both another shot. “I understand and would expect no less.”
They both slammed their shots down and Deke got to his feet. “Let’s get something to eat. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”
~* * * *~
Cassie paced the length of Deke’s room several times. Her mind was racing with thoughts she knew she shouldn’t let in but she also knew she couldn’t stop them. She was happy with the way things were right now between her and Deke and she hoped Deacon would just leave them alone. For the first time in her life, she was happy and she would fight tooth and nail to keep that.
But she had family now too. That connection to another human being had been missing all these years. She’d forgotten about him and the fact he’d searched Boston all this time for her did mean a great deal to her. She couldn’t help but wonder how close they had come to finding each other before today. If he had found her, would it have altered her life?
