Jaxson (Black Devils MC Book 1)

by K. J. Dahlen

  “Why? Why can’t you do all of that?” Raine asked.

  Cricket stared at him for a moment, then looked away. “Your brother will claim him as his father. He’ll take Dusty home with him. I’ll never see him again.”

  “If the boy is Gambler’s he’ll be with his dad. Is that so bad? He’ll have a grandfather and a grandmother and a couple of uncles.” Raine tried to reason with her. “Dusty will have a whole new family to take care of him, to love him. That doesn’t sound so bad.”

  “No it doesn’t,” Cricket admitted. “But you need to understand I’ve watched over him since the day he was born. I was the only one who ever loved him like that.” She thought for a moment. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t ready to give him up just yet.”

  Raine wrapped his arms around her. “You don’t have to give him up. Don’t you realize he loves you? He’ll never stop loving you. His world is about to get a lot bigger that’s all.”

  Cricket nodded. “I know I should be happy for him but god help me, I hate change, especially when someone I love is going to be ripped away from me.” Then she looked around the room. The tension was still thick and she knew they would call a vote soon. “But maybe in light of what’s going on here it’s a good thing. At least I know someone will look out for him when I’m gone.”

  “I don’t think you’re going anywhere,” Raine told her. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Cricket shook her head. “I didn’t do anything to stop her either. I even helped cover up her crimes.”

  “That wasn’t your fault,” Raine argued. “You were under her thumb all your life. She controlled you for so long.”

  Cricket shook her head. “It doesn’t make it right. I broke MC laws. They might not be so different from common laws but I still broke them. They have to uphold the rules or there would be anarchy and no MC could have that. I agreed to the rule of the tribunal and whatever happens I will abide by that.” She paused then added, “It’s a matter of honor, my honor. I may not have much left but I do have that. I gave my word.”

  Before he could respond, the door opened. Deke and the others came back. Gambler and Black Jack both had grins on their faces. When they reached Raine, Gambler announced, “I have a son. The boy Dusty is my son, my flesh and blood.”

  Hound nudged his brother when he saw the look of desolation on Cricket’s face.

  It was only there for a moment before it changed to a blank stare. She looked up at Gambler and tried to smile. Even though it killed her, she tried. “I’m so happy for you. Dusty is a great kid.”

  Gambler laid his hand on her shoulder. “I’m sure he is, thanks to you. I know whatever he is today, is your doing. I know Cordy never cared about him.”

  Cricket felt a tightening in her throat. Nodding, she looked away. After a moment, she told them, “He likes to say his prayers sitting on his knees on top of his bed rather than on the floor. He says it doesn’t matter as God will hear them anyway and he says the floor is too hard. He likes to eat his toast without butter. He likes peanut butter instead. He doesn’t like milk unless its strawberry milk. He doesn’t like chocolate milk at all. He likes peanut butter cookies more than any other kind…” Her voice trailed off.

  The men stood very still and stared at her.

  Cricket wiped the tears away and continued, “He likes chicken nuggets but not fish sticks. He likes to look at the stars wrapped up in a blanket sitting on your lap. He’ll talk your ear off if you let him. He likes to lay in bed at night and talk about what he wants to do when he grows up. He likes to watch SpongeBob and imagine he’s living under the sea.” She looked up at Gambler. “He’s a real good boy and his hugs will come to mean the word to you. They do to me.” She reached out and grabbed his hand. With her wrists tied together as they had been all morning, she begged him, “Please be good to him. Please love him for me?” Tears rolled down her cheeks.

  Gambler nodded then leaned toward her and kissed her forehead. “I will remind him every day of his Aunt Cricket.”

  “Please feel free to visit anytime,” Black Jack told her, “You will always be welcome in our home.”

  Cricket looked around the room. “I’m not so sure I’ll be able to do that but I thank you for the invite.”

  Black Jack nodded then said, “We’ll just wait outside until the tribunal is done and we can meet the boy.”

  Deke shook his hand. “I appreciate that. I think they’re about ready to vote.”

  When Black Jack and his sons left, Deke banged the gavel. He nodded toward Wiley who was standing guard.

  Wiley opened the door and brought Cordy back to the main room.

  When she was seated, Cricket glanced over at her and noted her expression. She looked as if her life were ending. And Cricket supposed it was. Cordy had never faced justice before but this time, she had no way out.

  Deke called out, “You’ve all had time to discuss the charges and what justice we should seek here. Cordelia Tannis, please stand and face this tribunal.”

  Cordy got to her feet and faced the crowd.

  “The charges against you are kidnapping, murder and treason against the MC. Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

  “No I do not.”

  “How do you plead?”

  “Guilty,” she claimed loud and clear. She paused then said, “Can we just get on with this?”

  “You have pled guilty to the charges and the club will pronounce your sentence,” Deke stated as he sat down.

  One by one, each member called out his vote. “Death.” It took five minutes until the last vote was cast.

  Cordy sat there and made no sound. When the last vote was cast, she closed her eyes briefly then sat down.

  “This tribunal has sentenced you to death for your crimes, do you accept your fate?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then it is done.” Deke rapped the gavel down on the table. He got to his feet again, and called out, “Cricket Tannis, please stand and face this tribunal.”

  Cricket got to her feet.

  “You have been charged with aiding and abetting your sister in these charges. How do you plead?”

  “Guilty.”

  Deke looked around the room. “Does anyone have anything to say about these charges?”

  “When everything is said and done it doesn’t seem to me like she really had a choice,” one of the men called out.

  “She did what she could to correct what her sister did,” another voice was heard.

  “Without her, your kids would still be out there, lost. She brought them both home again.”

  “Is that how you all feel?” Deke asked the room.

  “Yes,” they all called out together.

  “What is your sentence of punishment?”

  “Brand her,” someone called out. “Let her serve the club for a year to make up for what she did.”

  “How say you one, how say you all?” Deke called out.

  “Aye,” their voices came together and the roof rattled.

  “This tribunal has decided your fate. Do you accept their sentence?”

  “I do,” Cricket called out with tears on her cheeks.

  “Then so be it.” He rapped the gavel on the table.

  Cricket sat down in her chair hard. She couldn’t believe it. Her body shook terribly.

  Cordy turned and looked at her. There was no emotion in her face. “I know I haven’t always been there for you and quite frankly, I never wanted to be. I always felt there was something deep inside me that was fucked up. When Mom told me Orrin wasn’t my father, I was almost relieved. I didn’t have to wait for the disappointment anymore.”

  “What disappointment?”

  “The look he always got in his eyes when I fucked up,” Cordy explained. “It was always the same kind of look and it always burned the deepest. You never noticed it but I did. I could see that look in his eyes every time he looked at me and I took it out on you. Every time I
felt the rage building inside me, I hurt you. When the rage went away, I felt like shit but I couldn’t stop myself.” She looked down at the scars on her arms. “I think that’s why I cut myself all the time. I just wanted to feel something and the pain I felt was at least something. The pain and the scent of the blood almost gave me a high I could never get from anything or anyone else.” She looked around the room and saw the faces of the men around her. “This is right. This is what had to happen. Now, I’ll finally be free—free of the bitterness and pain I have felt all my miserable life. I am sorry for all the hell I put you through. You may not believe me but I am.”

  “Are you afraid?” Cricket asked quietly.

  Cordy shook her head. “No. I’m ready for death. It’s been a long time coming.” She paused then said, “It’s almost freeing in a subtle way.”

  Cricket nodded. She watched as three men came for her sister. When they took her out the back door, she knew Cordy’s pain was almost over. When the gunshot sounded in the distance a few minutes later, Cricket jumped, then bowed her head and prayed. She prayed for her sister’s soul and asked God to forgive her for her sins against her fellow man.

  Deke came up to her and reached for the knife held in a sheath at his waist. He sliced through the ropes around her wrists. When they broke free, he told her, “We don’t have a branding iron, so tomorrow we’ll tattoo your shoulder. You have been sentenced to serve this club for a year. Tonight is your last night as a free woman for the next year. Spend it with whoever you like but tomorrow you will begin your sentence.”

  “What will I be expected to do?” she asked.

  Deke smiled. “Probably not what you’re thinking. We don’t have club whores here. While most clubs have them, our wives wouldn’t approve. Your job will be whatever the club members ask of you.”

  Cricket nodded. “Will I be able to say goodbye to Dusty?”

  Deke nodded. “I think that might be best if it’s done tonight. I know the Moore men and patience is not one of their virtues.”

  Cricket nodded. “He’s at Reva’s right now.”

  Raine came over to where they were standing. “I can take her over there.”

  Deke’s eyes got hard for a moment. “Do I have to worry about you running?”

  Cricket shook her head. “No, I’m not going anywhere. I agreed to abide by the club laws and I will. I just want the chance to say goodbye. Dusty is all I really ever had in this life and I want the chance to tell him that.”

  Deke nodded and watched as they left the clubhouse.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  A short time later, she sat at Reva’s kitchen table with Dusty on her lap. Black Jack, Hound, Judge, Raine and Gator were standing there as well.

  “Dusty, I have something to tell you,” she began.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “Do you remember how you would often talk about maybe one day having a father?”

  Dusty looked at her and nodded.

  “Well baby, that day is today. We just found out that this man is your daddy.” She motioned at Gambler. “But the thing is, he didn’t know about you before today either. He just found out that you are his son. What do you think about that?”

  Dusty turned to study the man she said was his dad. When he looked back at his aunt, he whispered loudly, “Are you sure he’s my dad?”

  Cricket closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, she nodded. “Not only is he your dad but he also comes with three brothers, and his own Mom and Dad too. So you have three uncles, a grandmother and a grandfather. What do you think about that?”

  Dusty’s eyes got big. “But that’s a whole family!”

  Cricket nodded. “Yes, it is. You have a whole family just waiting to get to know you.”

  Dusty threw his small arms around her neck and hugged her tight. When he let her go, he peeked over at Gambler. “I have a daddy.?”

  Cricket hugged him to her. “Yes, you do. Uncles and grandparents too. I think that makes you a special little boy, don’t you?”

  Dusty turned to stare at Gambler. “Hi.”

  Gambler smiled and knelt down to his level. “Hi yourself.”

  Leaning against Cricket, he asked, “So you’re my dad huh?”

  Gambler nodded. “Yup, I’m your dad.”

  “Where have you been?” Dusty asked. “Me and Cricket have been waiting on you for a long time now.”

  “Dusty,” Cricket interrupted him. “I told you he only found out today that he was your daddy. He lives in Maine and he just didn’t know about you.”

  “But I do want the chance to know you,” Gambler told him. “Your aunt has been telling us about what a great kid you are. Do you suppose we could get to know you better?”

  Dusty thought about it for a moment then nodded. “I suppose so. I’ve wanted a daddy for a long time.”

  “How about a grandpa?” Black Jack asked. “Or a grandma? I know she can’t wait to meet you.”

  “Or an uncle?” Hound grinned.

  “How about two?” Judge commented.

  “Three.” Raine nodded.

  Dusty turned wide eyes to Cricket. “Wow, we have a family!”

  She smiled with tears in her eyes. “Yes baby, you do.”

  “Are we going to move again?” he asked.

  “Yeah baby, your daddy lives in Maine so when he leaves he wants to take you home with him.”

  Dusty turned to look at her again. “Us, don’t you mean he’ll take us home? You and me?”

  Cricket smiled sadly. “Oh baby, I can’t go with you right now. I have to stay here for a while, but your daddy wants you to go with him right away. He can’t wait to introduce you to your grandmother. She’s so excited to finally meet you.”

  “But I can’t go without you!” Dusty insisted. “You have to come too. What if I don’t like it in Maine? What if I get sick? Who will take care of me?”

  Cricket looked at Gambler and shook her head. “Sweet baby boy, you will love Maine. There will be so much for you to do there, you won’t even know I’m not there. And I’ll come visit when I can.” She hugged him. “I know this is scary for you, we’ve never been apart before, but now you have another family who just want to love you.”

  “Your aunt can come and see you anytime she wants to,” Black jack stated.

  “She’s not my aunt, she’s my Cricket.” Dusty growled.

  Gambler smiled. “Your Cricket then. In fact, she grew up in Maine, did you know that?”

  Dusty frowned. Turning to look at her he asked, “You did?”

  Cricket smiled. “Yes baby, I did. My daddy moved us to Maine when I was seven years old. I loved it there and someday, I hope to show you all my special places. Places I would go and dream about how I wanted my life to go. Where I would whisper all my dreams into the winds of chance.” She looked at everyone standing there. “I didn’t have grandparents or uncles but I did have a daddy and he was very special to me.”

  “What happened to your daddy?” Dusty asked.

  “He died when I was a young girl—I still miss him a lot.”

  Dusty slumped on her lap. “So you want me to go with them to Maine? Without you?”

  Cricket pulled him closer to her of course that wasn’t really what she wanted. Tears were falling down her cheeks. “Oh baby boy, of course I don’t want you to go without me, but I know your daddy wants you to go home with him. He wants to get to know you too. I love you more than anything in this world, but he needs a chance to love you too. I’ve had you for six whole years, but now it’s his turn. Please give him this chance. Please give your grandparents this chance and your uncles too.” She lifted his chin and looking in his eyes she asked, “Can you do that? Can you give them this chance to know the awesomeness that is you?”

  Dusty chuckled. “That’s just silly Cricket. I’m not awesome.”

  “Oh yes, sweet boy, you are very awesome.” Cricket laughed.

  �
�How long before you can come and see me in Maine?” he asked.

  “Well, your birthday is in a week. You’ll be seven years old.” She reasoned. “I will come to Maine and see you before your eighth birthday.”

  Dusty frowned. “But that’s a whole year away!”

  “I know baby boy, but that’s the way it has to be. Sometimes, we don’t have a choice. I don’t want to be gone that long either but it has to be.”

  Dusty turned tear-filled eyes to Gambler. “Can we come back and see her?”

  Gambler nodded. “We can come back anytime you want to. I promise you that.”

  Dusty tried to smile but couldn’t as he turned and buried his head in her neck.

  Cricket wrapped her arms around him and held him close for a moment. Then taking a deep breath, she lifted his face away from her body. “Okay buddy…” She wiped his tears away. “I’m going to go back to our room now. Your family wants to have a chance to talk to you. I’ll see you in the morning before you leave for Maine.”

  Dusty nodded then looked around at all the strangers in the room. “Are you sure it’s going to be okay?”

  Cricket smiled. “Yeah baby, it’s gonna be just fine. You don’t have to be afraid of them. They just want to love you.”

  “Is it okay to love them back?” he asked.

  “Yes, you can love them back. Love them like you love me.” Cricket framed his face with her hands and leaned forward to press a kiss on his forehead. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too Cricket,” Dusty told her.

  When she got to her feet, she handed him to Gambler.

  When he took his son for the first time, he hugged the boy to him. He closed his eyes when Dusty wrapped his arms around his neck.

  Cricket couldn’t stay any longer. She had to get out of there before Dusty so how upset she was. She ran for the door and as soon as she got outside, she began to sob. She went over to the nearest tree and leaned against the rough wood she cried for a few minutes. Then she felt someone wrap his arms around her and then she was sobbing again. When she stopped, she looked up at Raine. “Promise me, he’ll be okay?” she whispered.