Then & Now

by Karen A. Leppert

  Sarah looked like a woman, not a girl anymore. Her auburn hair bounced playfully as she spun around, her eyes twinkled with delight, and she appeared to laugh along with DJ.

  God, she’s still beautiful.

  Pat jumping from the park bench broke through his trance. The look of alarm on her face further proved his eyes hadn’t deceived him. DJ must have noticed this too and turned in Seth’s direction.

  Unlike his mother, DJ smiled gleefully. “Uncle Seth.”

  Sarah stopped spinning and froze for a second before gingerly placing DJ on the ground and taking off. Seth wanted to scream at her to stop, but he’d lost his voice. In a desperate attempt to bring her back, he reached out for her, but DJ ran to him and leaped into his arms instead.

  “H-hey, buddy,” he said while watching Sarah run to the parking lot.

  Pat looked toward Sarah, threw her arms up, defeated, and walked toward him and DJ.

  “What are you doing here?” She stood uncomfortably close, her eyes filled with tears. What kind of tears, Seth didn’t know. Frustration, fear, and worry came to mind.

  Pat crossed her arms over her chest. “You were supposed to be in a meeting all afternoon. What happened?”

  “I’m sorry.” Seth couldn’t believe he felt the need to apologize. “DJ called this morning and invited me to the park so I cut my meeting short.” Pat looked at DJ, who wiggled in Seth’s arms. Seth put him down and tossed the football in the air. “Hey, buddy, go out for the catch.”

  The little boy smiled expectantly and took off running. Seth hiked the football while Pat watched, a nervous silence hanging in the air.

  She shook her head. “Derrick’s going to kill me.”

  “Don’t be so dramatic. So, I saw Sarah? So what?” He feigned indifference.

  “When he finds out Sarah’s moved here and I knew…”

  “Wait a minute. Sarah’s living in LA?”

  She flinched. “Damn it! I could’ve gotten out of this mess if only I’d had time to think.”

  “How long has Sarah been here, and who else knows?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Am I the only one who doesn’t know?”

  “Of course not. Derrick doesn’t know.”

  “Who else?”

  “Well, your mother and Keith.” Pat paused. “I guess that’s all.”

  Seth shook his head. “Fuck! How long has Sarah been here?”

  “Since July.”

  “July! Why the big secret?”

  “I suppose there are a lot of reasons.”

  “I want to hear them. What reason would you have to lie to me?”

  “We didn’t really lie. We just didn’t tell you.”

  He rolled his eyes. “That’s the same as a lie.”

  “Calm down. I can see you’re getting upset.”

  “You’re damn right I’m upset. I’m not upset Sarah’s here. Well, maybe a little upset about that, but more that you deliberately kept it from me. I’m a big boy. I could’ve handled it.”

  “You’re right. We should have told you.”

  “Was this Sarah’s idea?”

  “No! But she agreed to…well, avoid you.”

  “You mean to hide from me, don’t you?”

  “Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.”

  “I don’t see any other way to look at it.”

  “Please let me explain.” Pat’s eyes pleaded.

  Seth nodded.

  “Sarah got a scholarship and financial aid offer from Mount St. Mary’s College. It was taking her forever to get her degree, and Jeff convinced her to come here. Believe me, it took a lot of convincing.

  “Anyway, Sarah agreed, but we had reservations. Molly didn’t want to stir all that trouble up again, and I knew Derrick would blow a gasket. We thought it better not to tell you. Everybody’s happy. Sarah got to come to LA and go to school, and we got to see her and not make you uncomfortable.” Pat took a deep breath and looked at him.

  Seth struggled to take it in. Sarah is here, Sarah is here. Living here.

  “Well, say something,” Pat demanded.

  Seth shook his head. “I don’t have anything to say.”

  “What’s going to happen now?”

  “I don’t know. You seem to think you know what’s best. You tell me, Pat.”

  “Maybe we could keep this between us?”

  “No fucking way!”

  “It’s just a suggestion.”

  “Well, it’s a crazy one. This has got to stop.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Look, I have to go.” He tossed the football to DJ one last time and walked away, leaving Pat with her mouth agape.

  He sat in his car for the longest time trying to comprehend what had just happened. The past and present had collided. Sarah lived here.

  The image of Sarah looking panicked when she ran from him burned in his head. Despite her desire to flee, his heart took a leap, as if it had jump-started to life again, and a world of possibilities flashed before him.

  SARAH

  Sarah’s heart kept time with the thumping bass in the car next to hers at the red light.

  “Why did he have to look so good!” Magazines didn’t do him justice. How could someone make a simple white T-shirt look so sexy? Well, Seth did, with his muscular biceps that peeked out from under the short sleeves. He was taller than Sarah had remembered, and his facial features more defined…chiseled.

  Sarah looked down at her faded jeans and oversize T-shirt. Boring. She didn’t dare look at herself in the rearview mirror, having thrown her hair up in a ponytail and gone makeup free.

  Seth had looked happy until he realized it was her. Then his face had fallen as if he’d witnessed a bad accident. His body had reacted too. He’d continued to walk toward her, but his steps had appeared slow and purposeful, as if he were treading on broken glass.

  Poor Pat. Sarah had left her to deal with the aftermath. Still running, she scolded herself and trembled at the possible consequences of this latest cowardly flight from her problems. Nothing good ever came of it, yet she still hadn’t learned her lesson.

  After driving directly home instead of running the errands on her “to do” list, she raced inside her house and slumped on the floor in a sobbing heap. Her phone signaled an incoming text: Sam here. You forgot to bring dog food. I’m feeding Newton hot dogs. I left you several messages, but you didn’t pick up.

  Of course I didn’t pick up. I was too busy running for my life.

  Not her life, really. Well, somewhat. She had run to protect her new life, a life she had grown to like very much.

  But could it be different? Under the self-deprecation and fear, a spark of excitement tried to force its way to the surface. Could she have a happy ending for once?

  Not with the way you keep running.

  The ember grew in spite of her scolding, and she reveled in its heat.

  HIDE AND SEEK

  SARAH

  She resided in limbo; her fate in the hands of others. Strangely enough, Molly and Derrick didn’t pose the biggest threat. Seth did. Sarah had seen him several times over the past few weeks and in the most unusual places.

  First, at the Laundromat. Well, not exactly the Laundromat, but the Starbucks across the street. Coincidence? Maybe.

  Another time, Seth sat on a park bench, talking on his cell phone while Sarah and Newton played catch with a Frisbee.

  The grocery store near Sarah’s house disturbed her the most. Sarah doubted Seth did any of his own shopping and, if he did, wouldn’t shop in her neighborhood. She would have walked right past him in the baked goods aisle if she hadn’t paused to look at the sale items and heard someone talking to him. With a huff, she left a cart filled with groceries right there in the aisle and went home.

  Each time, Seth wore the same baseball cap and sunglasses. How stupid does he think I am? With the connections he has, he couldn’t come up with a better disguise? A light bulb popped above her head. Unles
s he wants me to know he’s there. But why? Simple, Seth wants to make me feel uncomfortable, to cause trouble.

  And he knew she couldn’t complain to anyone. They would never believe Seth stalked her.

  Today should be safe because Seth was out of town. Sarah drove to Johnny’s to do laundry. Her washer was on the fritz, and the thought of sitting in a crowded Laundromat with no air-conditioning made her break out in a sweat.

  Molly had traveled out of town to a fashion show, leaving Johnny home alone and lonely. The promise of pizza and Guitar Hero sealed the deal. Newton came along to chaperone.

  Johnny met her in the driveway and pointed inside the garage. “Pull into Molly’s spot. The washer and dryer are in the mudroom just inside.”

  After putting in a load of laundry, Sarah joined Johnny in the entertainment room for a game of Guitar Hero before the pizza arrived.

  “I’m going to kick your butt,” he challenged.

  “You should. I don’t own the game, and you have more time to practice.”

  “Excuses, excuses.” Johnny jerked his body around, trying his best to imitate a rock star.

  Sarah laughed so hard her fingers lost their place on the guitar, resulting in a dismal score. “Okay, you win. After I change my laundry over, I’m challenging you to another game.”

  “What a glutton for punishment. I’m getting another beer, want one?”

  “Sure, I’m not going anywhere. We’re in for the night, right?”

  “Yeah. Indulge yourself a little. Maybe it’ll improve your score.”

  “One can only hope.”

  Sarah changed over the laundry and returned to the game. Johnny won every time. The pizza came, and they decided to eat out on the deck with Sarah folding clothes between bites. They had turned the stereo on to listen to a new CD Johnny had just bought and discussed what movie they would watch later.

  “Be right back.” Johnny held up an empty beer can and went inside the house.

  The buzzer from the washing machine sounded just as she took a bite of pizza.

  “Ugh!”

  Newton followed her, but paused midway, hunched his back, and growled. Sarah followed his defiant glower and jumped. It only took a second to recognize Seth standing in the doorway. It took another second to panic and bolt for the stairs leading onto the lawn. She almost made it, but her foot wedged on the leg of a lounge chair. She tripped and fell flat on her face, sending the laundry basket flying in the air.

  Her forehead hit the wood with a dull thud. Something warm ran down her face, and she saw a bright red liquid: blood spreading on the deck. The world tilted at an awkward, dizzying slant and faded in and out.

  “Sarah!”

  “Here, I’ll take Sarah. You get ice and towels,” Johnny ordered through the haze.

  Sarah tried to stand.

  “Sarah…stay still…don’t move.”

  But you just told me to get ice and towels, she thought and slumped into Johnny’s arms, too weak to protest.

  “Here. We’ve got to get her to the hospital.” The other voice sounded hysterical.

  “Seth, pull my car out of the garage. Hurry!” Johnny squawk focus. She opened her eyes and pleaded with Johnny. “I can’t go to the hospital, not with him. I promised.”

  Johnny held her tightly, his face filled with concern. “Sarah, we don’t have time to discuss this. You’re going to need stitches, and you might have a concussion.”

  “No, no.” She tried to wiggle free from Johnny’s grip. She looked up; Seth stood over them, his eyes wide with pain. Is he hurt too?

  “Sarah, I can’t leave you alone in the back seat of my car, so Seth’s got to drive. Please, don’t fight me on this.”

  The sky began spinning again and the world faded to black.

  SETH

  Seth grabbed Sarah from Johnny and raced into the hospital’s emergency room.

  “Help us! Please!”

  A nurse rushed toward them and directed him to a stretcher in the hallway. He gently laid Sarah on it, and the nurse wheeled her down the hall, yelling for an explanation of what had happened.

  After he had explained everything as fast as he could speak, the nurse took Sarah through some doors and forbade him entrance. Seth walked blindly to the waiting area and sat down.

  “Fuck,” he whispered and brushed tears from his eyes.

  Johnny sat beside him. “She’s going to be all right.”

  “It’s all my fault. I finished shooting early and came home. I should’ve called first.”

  “You’ll know better the next time.”

  “There shouldn’t be a next time. I shouldn’t have to worry about running into Sarah.”

  “It’s better this way.”

  “For who?”

  The doctor interrupted Johnny’s rebuttal.

  “Ms. Matthews will need stitches and has a concussion. You can go back and stay with her. She’s in the third bed on the left, just through those doors.”

  “Thank you, Doctor.” Johnny stood and turned to Seth. “You can leave now.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I called Kathy and Jeff; they’re on their way. It’s best you leave. You saw how upset Sarah was. Do you want to upset her more?”

  “At least let me go back and see her. Sarah won’t even know I’m there. I’ll stay behind the curtain. Please, Johnny.”

  Johnny shot him a warning look. “Okay, but just for a minute.”

  When they arrived at the third bed on the left, a nurse talked to Sarah beyond a closed curtain.

  “This is going to make you feel much better.”

  Moments later, the curtain separated, and Johnny approached the bed. Sarah looked small and feeble, her head bandaged and her eyes drowsy.

  “We gave her something to relax. Her blood pressure was a little high.” The nurse looked from Seth to Johnny. “She’ll be fine…don’t worry.” She looked at Seth again and rushed down the hall.

  Johnny went to Sarah’s bedside and held her hand. “Sarah, it’s me, Johnny. You’re going to be fine…just a couple of stitches, that’s all.”

  Sarah opened her eyes. “My head hurts. What happened?”

  “You fell on my patio.”

  Her eyes wandered around the room and stopped on Seth. Seth ducked behind the curtain and stood against the wall.

  Johnny continued, “Kathy and Jeff are on their way.”

  “No…no,” she protested desperately. “They can’t see me here, with him.”

  “Sarah, calm down. Seth’s leaving.”

  Sarah’s nurse came toward Seth, paper and pen in hand. “Mr. Mathis, I hate to ask this, but…”

  “Then don’t.”

  “Can’t you see he’s upset?” Kathy’s voice filled the hall.

  The nurse scurried away.

  Kathy looked at Seth. “What happened?”

  “Sarah fell.” He fought back tears. “I stopped by Johnny’s. The music was blaring, so I let myself in. I swear I didn’t know Sarah was there. Her car wasn’t in the driveway. She saw me, ran, and tripped over a lounge chair.”

  Johnny came out to meet them. “Sarah needs stitches and has a concussion.”

  Kathy went to Sarah’s side.

  Jeff patted Seth’s back. “I think you should leave now.” Seth hesitated. He wanted to go to Sarah’s side, hold her in his arms, and beg forgiveness, promising never to cause her harm again. He had selfishly pushed the boundaries too many times, and Sarah had paid the price. She only wanted to be left alone.

  “I suppose you’re right.”

  “Go home and get cleaned up. You look like shit.”

  “I’m sorry, Jeff.”

  “This insanity has to stop. Let’s not talk about it tonight. You’re upset enough. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He started to walk away but turned with a warning. “Don’t tell anyone about this. I hate to lie, but I’m trying to protect Sarah. You understand, don’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  Seth w
ent home, cleaned the blood from the back seat of Johnny’s car, and changed out of his blood-soaked clothes. His liquor cabinet called to him, but he ignored it and went to bed instead. He rose at dawn, and then he waited for Jeff’s call, just like the day he and his parents had waited for Sarah’s parents to call. The day he found out Sarah was being sent away to camp.

  He never saw her after that…not as his Sarah anyway.

  God, I hope I don’t suffer the same fate!

  NEWTON AND A NEW SHIRT

  SARAH

  “It’s been three days. I’m ready to go home.” Sarah, along with Newton, had been recuperating at Kathy and Jeff’s.

  Kathy winced. “You don’t look ready.”

  Sarah couldn’t disagree. The right side of her face and body bore yellow and black bruises, but her wound had healed well and the headaches were less severe.

  “The doctor said I could go back to school. It’s time. Anyway, I’m meeting Johnny this afternoon. Can I leave Newton here until we’re finished?”

  After a long silence, Kathy acquiesced. “Of course, but I want a phone call this evening.”

  “I will. I promise.” Sarah went into the house to look for Jeff and found him in the den. “Can I come in?”

  He motioned to a chair opposite his desk. “Kathy tells me you want to go home.”

  Sarah nodded. “Thanks for everything, Jeff.”

  “You’re welcome.” He came around the desk and wrapped her in a warm embrace. “I don’t want to hurt you. I imagine you’re still sore.”

  “I’m okay.”

  “Are you?”

  “Yes. The doctor said—”

  “Sarah, I’m not talking about your physical health. I’m worried about you.”

  “Now that you mentioned it, I did want to talk to you.” Sarah paused to summon the courage to say the words. “I’m thinking of moving back home.”

  “Sarah, I know the past few months have been difficult, but…”

  “It’s not working out, Jeff. You know that.”

  “Look, if it’s Seth, I can assure you he’s upset over what happened.”