Yours to Bare

by Jessica Hawkins

  I close my eyes and breathe.

  I’m watching the street, expecting a car. So when I open my eyes and realize someone’s standing next to me, I nearly jump out of my skin.

  Finn looks down at me. “This dress can only mean one thing,” he says. “You brought me here to reconcile. If you break up with me for good in that dress, that’s just the cruelest thing I can think of.”

  My laugh is nervous, but his directness helps break the ice. Right off the bat I understand that he’s here to make things work, not let me down easy. Benny was right. The red dress was a good choice.

  “Sorry I’m late,” he says. “I was going to catch a cab, but it’s such a nice night and I needed the extra time to . . . prepare.” He squints behind me. “I assumed this was a show or something, so I didn’t think I had to be here right at eight.”

  I take his hand, and he looks back at me. “Is this okay?” I ask.

  He tucks some of my hair behind my ear. “You tell me.”

  I close my eyes a split second to relish the feel of his palm to mine, the brush of his fingers in my hair. Over my feather. “Come on,” I say, pulling him behind me into the gallery.

  He steps inside and immediately drops my hand. I watch with bated breath as he takes in the scene around him. “What is this?”

  I survey the space with him. This in and of itself could be an installation, but it’s not. It’s just a sketch of one. I’ve strung Christmas lights along each wall. Taped underneath are small five-by-five prints, ten to a wall. Benny printed them all off for me, and I chose thirty I thought showed Finn’s best work.

  “It’s not much,” I say. “I just wanted to show you how it could look.”

  He walks along the nearest wall, taking in each print. “How what could look?”

  “I know the owner through the agency. I wore him down until he finally agreed to look at your work. He loved it, Finn, and I swear, he’s a hard ass about these things. It’s no favor.”

  “What isn’t? I don’t understand.”

  “He wants you to have your debut show here. I explained to him the kind of following we had, and after seeing your work, he’s convinced you’re the next big thing. That’s why he let me do this tonight. We want to show you how amazing it could be.”

  He runs a hand through his hair, spun gold sprouting from his fingers. “Are you serious?”

  I nod. “He’s between shows tonight, so I did some begging to get the space.”

  “What about you?” Finn asks. “This is your body. Your boyfriend’s work. Some people will know it’s you.”

  I take a breath. The thought of having my dad here makes my heart palpitate. But we’ve been working with Cindy too, and he needs to know this side of me for us to have an honest relationship. He has to meet Finn. “I’m good with it if you are.”

  “Will he let us put your captions up next to the photos?”

  “I want this to be about your work, not me.”

  “They belong together,” he says. “Don’t you think?”

  I swallow through the lump in my throat. They do belong together, yes. “I’m sure it could be arranged, but only your name goes on the promotional material. I have something else going.”

  He comes over and takes my hand to kiss my knuckle. “Tell me all about it.”

  “I’ve put together some of my favorite passages from my journals and submitted them to agents as a book of poetry. It’s a long shot, but—”

  “No it’s not.”

  “It is.” I nod. “But that’s okay. Rejection will happen, and it’s healthy and normal, Cindy says.”

  “Have you heard back from any of the agents?”

  “No.” I take my hand back and wipe my palms on my dress. “Well, kind of.”

  He brightens up. “Already?”

  “I turned it down. One guy said he had a publisher interested, but not in my writing, per se. They wanted our story. Sort of like a memoir, I guess, with a social media spin.” I’m no longer looking at Finn, so I can’t read his reaction.

  “Why’d you turn it down?”

  “It’s not my story to tell. I’m not even sure I want to try.”

  “You should.”

  I look up at him. “It was exposing ourselves that caused problems in the first place. I don’t want to put you or myself through that again.”

  He makes a point of looking around the room, at the myriad photos of me on the wall.

  “Touché,” I say, “but this is your art.”

  “And that’s yours. Write the memoir, Hals. I’ll be by your side through the whole thing. This is who we are, these pictures, your words—isn’t it? I don’t want to be ashamed of that.”

  I release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Neither do I. I’d like it if we could even . . . keep posting?” It’s a bold suggestion after the last six months, but like Finn said—it’s who we are.

  “Me too,” he says, to my relief. “I’ve tried to maintain the account, but I’m having some trouble finding subjects as interesting as you.”

  I smile. “I deleted the app from my phone the day I left, but Benny told me. We’ll figure it out. Maybe we can try food porn instead?”

  He laughs. “We don’t have to change the kinds of photos we take. It’s how we dealt with stuff that was the problem. I can’t protect you from everything. We have to work through the shitty stuff—together—and then move on. No running away.”

  I nod. “We have to be partners in everything. A team.”

  “Yeah. We’ve always made a really good team.” He puts an arm around my neck, drawing me in for a kiss. Finally, I get what I really did all this work for—those to-die-for, pillowy lips of his. “I love you,” he murmurs. “I don’t have a single doubt about that or about us. One day soon, we’ll make our team official. If you’ll have me.”

  My cheeks heat. “No doubts here, either. I love you. And I’ll have you.”

  I think Finn just proposed to me in some untraditional, roundabout way.

  And I think I just accepted.

  Who needs traditional anyway?

  #finnandhalston

  #TheEnd

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  Thank you for reading Yours to Bare. Keep clicking for an announcement about my next release, and for a preview of Sadie’s story. Slip of the Tongue is a heart-wrenching, edge-of-your-seat forbidden romance about the sudden descent of a woman's perfect marriage . . . and the sexy stranger who's there to pick up the pieces.

  Coming February 2017

  Something in the Way

  An epic, three-book saga of forbidden love.

  It was day one of summer break when I met him. I loved him before I knew the true meaning of the word. I was too young, he said. But I would wait.

  I’d learn that life isn’t always fair, though. We don’t always get what we think we deserve. And that no matter how far you go in life, none of it matters if you suffer the kind of heartbreak that comes with falling in love with someone you can never have.

  Pre-order book one now.

  Acknowledgments

  There would be no book to acknowledge without

  1) my wonderfully persistent readers

  2) my wonderfully patient editor

  Elizabeth London: you helped me brainstorm and plot this book when I wasn’t sure I wanted to write it. You guided me to the right idea, then through the ins and outs of Finn and Halston’s story. Thank you for making Finn happen. Katie from Underline This Editing, you are my safety net. Thank you for always catching what I miss.

  Michele Catalano, you dropped everything to bring Finn’s cover to life with your brilliant design, and Jade Gabrielle, I just couldn’t resist your beautiful images. Thankfully. The Yours to Bare cover is life.

  Melissa, Nina, Jenn, myriad bloggers and of course, author friends—Suzie, Louise, Staci, Kandi, Lisa, Adriana, Carter, L
iv, Rachels, Amy, Brittainy, Lesley, KL, Ruth, the list goes on. Thank you for letting me fret and cry and bitch and moan and cheers and soar while leaning on you.

  As always, my number one thanks goes to the readers. This book is 100% for you. My street team, who centers me, and The Penthouse, my reader group, a new venture that has been more fun and uplifting than I could’ve imagined. Thanks for being excited about Finn.

  Titles By Jessica Hawkins

  More info at www.jessicahawkins.net/books

  SLIP OF THE TONGUE

  "Addictive. Painful. Captivating. Tumultuous. Juicy. Sexy. Slip of the Tongue is an authentic, raw, and emotionally gripping must read that I just loved. A highly recommended favorite of mine.”—Angie's Dreamy Reads

  Sadie Hunt isn’t perfect—but her husband is. Until Sadie finds herself in the last place she ever expected to be: lonely in her marriage. When rugged and sexy Finn Cohen moves into the apartment across the hall, he and Sadie share an immediate spark. And while Sadie’s marriage runs colder by the day, she and Finn burn hotter.

  Her husband doesn’t want her anymore. The man next door would give up everything to have her.

  Learn more about Slip of the Tongue.

  THE FIRST TASTE

  “The First Taste is a delicious read that will have you craving seconds. I promise!”—Kim Karr, NYT Bestselling Author

  Andrew Beckwith has already devoted his life to one girl—his daughter, Bell. As far as he’s concerned, she’s all he needs. Amelia Van Ecken is an independent, smart, and savvy businesswoman who doesn’t have time for sex, much less love. Andrew and Amelia are complete opposites, but on one thing they agree—relationships are overrated. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be rated X. Because when sharp-tongued Amelia and stubborn Andrew cross paths, sparks fly—and burn.

  The First Taste is a standalone spin-off of Slip of the Tongue. Available now on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.

  THE CITYSCAPE SERIES

  The Cityscape Series is the compelling story of a forbidden love affair between a married woman and the man who could be her soul mate. Start the completed trilogy reviewers have called "gripping," "sexy" and "smart."

  Olivia Germaine has already found love. Devoted wife, loyal friend, determined career woman - she's created the life she always envisioned. But when Olivia locks eyes with David Dylan, alleged playboy and eternal bachelor, across a crowded room, he challenges Olivia to confront the life she’s built and to make decisions that could either lead to happiness...or regret.

  Will Olivia be able to draw the line between lust and love?

  And can David respect that line?

  The Cityscape Series on Amazon.

  Read a sample.

  STRICTLY OFF LIMITS: A FORBIDDEN ROMANCE NOVELLA

  Alexandra James gave up her spring break for an offer she couldn’t refuse: a week-long job that would earn her enough money to buy her way out of a broken heart. But if she thought her new boss would let her off easy because he’s her father’s best friend, she couldn’t have been more wrong. 21,000 words.

  Learn more about Strictly Off Limits.

  EXPLICITLY YOURS SERIES

  (Download the first book free!)

  “Pretty Woman meets Indecent Proposal in Explicitly Yours, a provocative series that’ll leave your heart racing.”—Louise Bay, USA Today Bestselling Author

  Lola Winters doesn’t think she can escape her life as a waitress— until she receives a shocking proposition from a sexy stranger. Wealthy businessman Beau Olivier wants Lola for a night, and in order to get her, he’s willing to make her dreams come true.

  But what if one night isn't enough, and Beau isn’t ready to say goodbye in the morning?

  Explicitly Yours Series on Amazon.

  SOMETHING IN THE WAY

  An epic, three-book saga of forbidden love.

  It was day one of summer break when I met him. I loved him before I knew the true meaning of the word. I was too young, he said. But I would wait.

  I’d learn that life isn’t always fair, though. We don’t always get what we think we deserve. And that no matter how far you go in life, none of it matters if you suffer the kind of heartbreak that comes with falling in love with someone you can never have.

  Coming 2017

  Pre-order book one now.

  Audiobooks

  Slip of the Tongue

  The Cityscape Series

  Strictly Off Limits: A Forbidden Romance Novella

  Sadie Hunt isn’t perfect—but her husband is. Nathan Hunt has her coffee waiting every morning. He holds her hand until the last second. He worships the Manhattan sidewalk she walks on. Until one day, he just . . . stops. And Sadie finds herself in the last place she ever expected to be. Lonely in her marriage.

  When rugged and sexy Finn Cohen moves into the apartment across the hall, he and Sadie share an immediate spark. Finn reveals dreams for a different life. Sadie wants to save her marriage. Their secrets should keep them apart, not ignite a blistering affair. But while Sadie’s marriage runs colder by the day, she and Finn burn hotter.

  Her husband doesn’t want her anymore. The man next door would give up everything to have her.

  ONE

  The man who just stepped out of 6A doesn’t notice me staring. He shakes out his honeyed-brown hair like a boy after a bath and wipes his temple with his sleeve. He rolls his neck. Watching him, I feel like an intruder in my own apartment building.

  It’s the jingle of Ginger’s dog tags that makes him look over. He tilts his head, studying me. “Hello again.”

  I squint. The sixth floor has never been well lit. Warm light bathes the beige walls and a carpet the color of dead leaves. I let Ginger pull me down and across the hall. She wants to smell this new person, and I want a better look. When we make eye contact, my heartbeat snags as it might for a new lover. Because he isn’t familiar. I don’t know him. “Sorry, have we met?” I ask.

  He doesn’t respond, as if he’s waiting for me to go on, but it’s a pretty straightforward question. I’m not sure where to look—his soulful green eyes, or a bottom lip that sticks out like his default expression is a pout. He licks it with an easy smile and once again, I’m staring. “I must’ve mistaken you for another neighbor,” he says. “Just moved in yesterday. You’re 6B?” He points to his chest. “6A.”

  I stick my coffee thermos under my arm and shake his paw of a hand. He then ruffles Ginger’s polished-penny red fur but watches me. And I forget that just moments ago, I was sad. Lonely. Confused. Now, I’m still a little confused, but not in the way that makes my brain and chest hurt.

  “Welcome to the building.” Since I’m already behind schedule thanks to this unplanned dog walk, I tug the leash. “Let’s go, Ginger.”

  “If you wouldn’t mind,” he says as I continue to the elevator, “can you point me in the direction of a good breakfast spot? Something hearty.”

  I glance back. His back is arched, his large hand spread over his stomach. The corner of his mouth is quirked. He’s kind of a hunk, and I think he knows it. I contain my smile, even when I realize it’s my first genuine one in days. “There’s a diner on the corner.” I begin to sweat, my hands in my gloves, my neck under my scarf. I hadn’t planned to be indoors this long. His expression is eager, though, like he’s asking an old friend for help. “Don’t be scared off by the smell. It’s good.”

  “Which corner?”

  “Lexington.” Ginger whines. I shouldn’t even be standing here. I’m verging on late for work. Suddenly, though, that seems less important than welcoming a new neighbor. “We’re headed downstairs. I’ll show you.”

  “That’d be great.” He heads past me down the hall to get to the elevator first, where he pushes the button. Ginger and I catch up as it arrives, and he holds the door open for us. The space feels small with him in it. He’s big, one of those guys who could jump and knock his head on the ceiling of the subway. One of those guys who can make the whole city feel small.

 
He glances up at the digital numbers, his hands stuck in the pockets of his hoodie.

  “Won’t you be cold?” I ask, eyeing the thin material.

  “Nah. My heater’s busted. It won’t turn off. It has to be over eighty degrees in my apartment.”

  I had the opposite problem when I moved in. It shouldn’t make me smile to remember that, but trying to stay warm can be fun when it involves a ridiculous amount of cozy blankets and endless, stovetop hot chocolate.

  “I can deal with the cold,” he continues, then groans, “the heat, though—Jesus. I could not sleep. I’ve been up for hours, moving boxes around the apartment. Finally, I had to come out for fresh air. You can only remove so much clothing, you know?”

  Heat creeps up my chest. I scold myself. So what if he’s naked in his own apartment? I try to think of a witty response to cover the fact that I’m blushing, but I come up short. I sip my coffee instead. We exit the elevator with his last comment hanging between us.

  “So, these are the mailboxes,” I say with flourish, breaking the silence, as we cross the small lobby. “Yours is next to mine.”

  He smiles politely and gets the door. We’re blasted by cold air. I try to pull my collar up around my neck, but my hands are full.

  “Need some help?” he offers.

  I give him Ginger’s leash and my thermos so I can bundle deeper into my coat. “The diner’s to the right,” I tell him. “I’m going that way too.”