Keeper of Crows (The Keeper of Crows Duology Book 1)

by Casey L. Bond

  My poor mother died a slow, agonizing death that started long before she decided to finally escape him. Most people thought she was troubled or selfish for taking her life, but I thought she was brave as hell. She knew there was no way out, no way she could possibly escape him, and so she gave him no say in the matter. She went out her own way. I only wished that she’d taken me with her. Just driven off a cliff or something. I swiped my eyes.

  “Don’t wish for death, Carmen.”

  “I can’t help it. Maybe it’s the situation, or maybe it’s the God-awful gray of this place, but it’s seeping into me. Slow like poison, but just as deadly.” I stared at my arms, still tan and freckled. No gray to be seen on me… Yet.

  Gabriel stared at the sky. “Michael will make them all pay.”

  “The way he did Dimitri?” The scene flashed through my mind, brilliant and bloody.

  “Yes.”

  I tried to smile. “Good.”

  I hoped they all died. I hoped his crows sent sharp feathers into them all, or pecked their eyes out, making them Lessons, swooping their bodies to the outskirts. Maybe Keeper would strangle or beat them. No matter how it happened, I hoped the ones who hurt my mother suffered. I hoped for a second, for a minute or an hour, Michael made them feel her pain, even just an ounce of it. Those cowards would be crushed under the weight of the burdens they made her bear. They needed to feel it.

  “Can Michael hear me now?”

  He shook his head. “Only when he is near.”

  I didn’t want him to hear what I was thinking about those bastards. He might do something we’d both regret. Besides, I wanted my chance at them. Alone.

  Gabriel swallowed. “You are fearless.”

  “I’m really not.”

  He nodded slowly. “Do you plan to confront your father?”

  “As soon as I’m able, but I can’t do anything as long as walking across a few yards makes me so tired, my legs can’t hold my body up.”

  “Healing will take some time.”

  I picked at my cuticle. “I don’t have the luxury of time, Gabriel. I need help.” I wondered if he would have the same reaction Michael did about my solution for the veil...

  “What about it?” he asked.

  “What if I was able to strengthen or harden it?”

  He shook his head and began giving me the same story Michael did. It was as strong as any angel could make it, and I was certainly no angel. But the veil was a part of me now. What if I could trap my father in Purgatory, ensuring he wouldn’t be able to cross the divide and crush anyone else with his depravity?

  Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest, standing and looking out at the churning, colorless water. “Michael would never agree to let you try.”

  “I know.”

  “You’d have to be certain that your father was here, contained in this realm.”

  “I know that, too.”

  He sighed. “You’d also have to make sure that everyone else who doesn’t belong here is out of the realm.” His eyes turned a bright green, like the first leaves of spring.

  “Can I block my thoughts from him?” I asked, curious.

  “From your father or from Michael?”

  “Both.”

  Gabriel blew out a slow breath, his cheeks inflating dramatically. “Michael is going to be angry, but there is a way.” He reached to the ground beneath him and found a small pebble. If pebbles were going to keep me from revealing my thoughts, I’d fill my pockets with them.

  He smiled and held the stone with both hands, cupping them to form a cavern. He muttered some unintelligible words, and then blew into the hole toward the rock. When Gabriel opened his hands, the stone was white, sparkling like the veil’s pale opposite. The rock changed shape, its borders expanding and receding slightly. “Angel stone,” he announced, holding the stone out for me to hold.

  “What exactly do I do with this... rock?”

  “Keep it on your person. If you wish to block your thoughts, simply rub it. Keep contact with it while blocking, and let go when you are okay with the angel hearing you. It’s that simple.”

  “It seems too good to be true, and in the earthen realm, that’s usually the case, Gabriel.”

  “You don’t trust me?” He clasped his chest as though hurt. “But I’m an angel!”

  “You’re also male, so my trust is something you’ll have to earn. With the exception of Michael, every man I’ve dealt with recently has tried to kill me, or worse.”

  Gabriel kicked the pebbles underfoot. “There is something else I can do to help. Michael doesn’t know I can do it, though.”

  “What?”

  “I can strengthen you.”

  Adrenaline coursed through me. “Do it. Do it right now.”

  “I can’t make you completely whole, but I can help bolster your recovery time.”

  “I want you to help me,” I begged. “Please, Gabriel. I’m worthless in the shape I’m in. I wouldn’t stand a chance—against a Lesson or Malchazze.”

  He looked guiltily at me. “Michael would not approve.”

  “Michael doesn’t want me to approach him. If I’m weak, he knows he can keep me from my father, but Father isn’t one who likes to be told no, Gabriel, and I can’t face him like this. He’ll hurt me, and I won’t be able to fight back.”

  Gabriel grabbed my hand. “Do not breathe a word of this to Michael.”

  “I won’t,” I promised.

  He opened his mouth and I heard his angelic words, the lilting rise and fall of them. I felt my body mending, the skin repairing itself, the bruises fading, the bones… I felt amazing.

  Gabriel stepped back from me, releasing my hand. “That is all I can do.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Thank me by being strong enough to stop your father.”

  “I’m going to try my best.” When I threw my arms around his neck, he let me hug him. He didn’t flinch or tell me I couldn’t touch him; he just stroked my back like he’d done it a thousand times before. For one, blissful moment, I felt comfortable and calm.

  18

  Clutching the Angel stone in my pocket, I thought about the veil. It was liquid, but I needed it to be impenetrable as stone and strong as titanium. Gabriel busied himself while gathering manna for us both. If I went through with this, Father would have to be here—in Purgatory. Gabriel would have to leave. And Michael... I couldn’t trap him here forever, so I had to figure out a way to make him cross over. Would he leave without orders to do so? Could I force him to? He was in danger. Gus and Chester had mentioned that there were plans to take Keeper out. My father was going to kill him if the isolation of this place didn’t.

  Do I want him to go? The answer was no, but I didn’t want him sealed here, either.

  The change in the veil, if I could manage to do it at all, would likely be permanent. For me, for Father, for all of us.

  “If I could seal the veil, could souls still pass over?”

  Gabriel shrugged. “I would think so, but I’m not sure. Assuming you could repair what’s been damaged, perhaps you could also make a way for it to work the way it was intended to, or at the very least, make it passable only from Earth to Purgatory—a one-way ticket with no return flights.” He smiled.

  I let go of the stone when he handed me a handful of puffy white goodness.

  Did angels fly commercially?

  He laughed heartily. “I have once before. Recently.”

  “Why would you need to fly on a plane?”

  “It depends on the assignment. For a few weeks, I was charged with guarding an important dignitary. His life had been threatened.”

  “By a human?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “No, a powerful demon in the hierarchy of things. He wanted to sway an election by removing one of the persons running for office. We typically don’t interfere with the lives of humans because of their inherent free will, but we also don’t allow demons, or crossers, to manipulate people or politics on Earth. They wo
uld manipulate everything if they could. Demons would love to make Earth a veritable Hell for the living.”

  “Give ‘em an inch, they’ll take a mile?”

  He sat down on the rock beside me. “Exactly.”

  “You must be busy all the time. Is there something you should be doing right now? An assignment you’re missing or slacking on because of me?”

  He popped a piece of manna in his mouth and chewed. “Not at the moment. Right now, it seems Michael needs me, and that is my current assignment—to help him in any way I can.”

  I had to know... “Will he ever be able to leave this place?”

  Gabriel’s eyes turned the saddest deep blue I’d ever seen, and I got my answer in the form of that weary indigo. “Not without orders.”

  “Can you ask for new orders for him? Do you have a superior, or can you plead on his behalf?”

  Gabriel stopped chewing and swallowed. His mouth opened as if he wanted to speak, but couldn’t find the words. “You care for him.”

  My face heated at the words. “I do,” I answered sincerely. “I know I’m not supposed to, but I also think it’s wrong that he’s stuck here and has been for so long.”

  “It hasn’t been very long, Carmen. Not in the great sense of time. We’ve been alive since before the creation of the universe. We will live forever, unless the Creator decides otherwise.”

  “Has the Creator ever done that? Has he ever killed an angel?” A shiver crawled up my spine.

  “Lucifer lives,” was his response.

  My palm was sweating around the Angel stone, so I released it into my pocket. I didn’t want Michael to get in trouble for my stupid feelings. They were unreliable at best. But I did care that he was here, that he’d lost his wings and gained a murder of crows. He’d done nothing but help me, avenge me, and keep me safe. He was trying to save my mother this very moment. It was hard not to be attracted to someone who would do that, and who looked the way he did.

  Gabriel chuckled beneath his breath. “I do the same thing. I save souls every day, but you don’t look at me the same way.”

  “I know.”

  He smiled and handed me more manna. Mine had already disappeared into my belly. It was delicious. Don’t judge.

  “You know you and he can never be, right?”

  “Yeah, I know.” My heart sank. Boy, did I ever know. I mean, what girl fell in lust with an archangel?

  “Lust?” Gabriel questioned.

  “Definitely lust.”

  “Are you certain it isn’t love? Love looks different when she first shows her face, from what I’ve seen. Humans are blessed with the ability to love, but angels can’t experience it, Carmen,” he said pointedly.

  I chewed my manna, hoping Michael was safe, that his crows were going all gangsta, and that my mother would be returned safely to me and finally get some peace. Love? I wouldn’t know anything about it. No one had ever thought I was worthy of it. I’d seen plenty of lust, though.

  Gabriel’s hand stilled on mine. “I have news of your mother. She is safe, but you will only get to see her for a moment,” he said, standing and pulling me up.

  “Why? Why only a moment?”

  He looked to the sky, searching the gray for something that contrasted. I did the same. A few seconds later, a swirl of birds appeared, traveling quickly toward us.

  The crows brought Mom straight to me. Her make-up was heavy and exaggerated, and though it was colorless, it was dark and trashy and nothing my mother would have worn. Her clothes consisted of what looked like a pillowcase with holes at the arms. It was dingy and bore the stains of her imprisonment and mistreatment. I rushed to her, steadying her as she held her head in her hands. “Mom? Are you okay?” Tears rushed down my cheeks.

  She raised her head, her big brown eyes locking onto mine. “Carmen?”

  “Yes, Mom, it’s me. Are you okay?” I repeated.

  “I don’t understand.” She looked around us, bewildered. The river. The trees. The rocks and pebbles beneath her feet. Mom looked at Gabriel and then at the crows, now roosting in the treetops just beyond us.

  “I know. It’s hard for me to understand, too.”

  She hugged my neck and I squeezed her with all the strength I had, holding her as she sobbed.

  “He said I have to leave now,” she said in a tear-soaked voice.

  “Who?” I looked over her shoulder at Gabriel. “Where are you taking her?”

  “I love you, Carmen. I’m so sorry that he clouded that love for you, and that I let him.”

  I held tightly to her, clutching her dark brown hair in my hands. She couldn’t leave if I didn’t let go. She cried against my shoulder.

  “I’ll miss you so much. Please remember to follow your heart. You’re the strongest and the only one who can stop him,” she whispered. With that, she straightened, pulling away from me and taking a step backwards, wiping her tears. She looked ten years older than the last time I saw her when she was still alive, still walking the hallway, searching for more liquor to ease the pain that creased her face. But she was herself, her old self, before Malchazze and addiction took the light from her eyes. The light was back. I couldn’t stop staring at it.

  When Mom placed her hand in Gabriel’s, he looked at me sadly.

  “Mom?”

  I could see the apology all over his face, but still didn’t understand what was happening.

  “Wait, can’t we have more time?” I yelled to Gabriel.

  He turned away from me slowly and led her forward, and then he took a step upward into the air. She followed.

  “Mom, stay! Just for a few more minutes. Please!”

  She turned to look at me, the light in her eyes clouded with tears. Blurry, but still visible.

  “Please let her stay!” I begged. “Gabriel, please?”

  Step by step, they ascended until they disappeared entirely.

  “Mom!”

  I collapsed onto the rocks, flinging an angry handful into the churning water. Why did she leave? Where did she have to go? Why didn’t we have more time?

  Michael’s hand found my shoulder. He crouched behind me soundlessly and then sat down with me.

  “I know it may not make sense to you right now, but she has been saved. I pleaded for her to be granted entrance into Heaven.”

  My eyes widened. “You did?”

  “Given the circumstances, with your father being who he is and with the knowledge of what he did to her, on Earth and in Purgatory, entrance was granted. Immediately.”

  At the same time my heart broke, it was full. Mom was finally getting what she deserved: an eternity of happiness. She deserved it after dealing with my father, sipping his poison for so long.

  “I watched a movie once that said suicides can’t get into heaven.”

  “Sometimes they can’t, but the circumstances that led her to that decision were considered. Your father was sending her to a shrink who prescribed a drug to her that he knew had a high likelihood of causing suicidal thoughts and actions. Your father’s company was responsible for manufacturing it. He used favors to get it approved by the FDA, and your mother was in the first human trial. In effect, she was his first guinea pig. We believe you also took the drug while in rehab.”

  “Doc?” That knocked the breath from me.

  Michael nodded. “One of your father’s many friends,” he spat.

  I could feel my body deflate. How far was my father’s reach?

  “Far and wide, Carmen. He’s very powerful, more so in this era than any other, and in both realms as well.”

  “That sucks.”

  He stared at the water. “I know.”

  I clutched the Angel stone. If it weren’t smooth, it would have sliced me open the same way my father did. He has to be stopped. I have to stop him. It has to be me, I thought to myself, knowing Michael couldn’t hear.

  We sat near the water until the cleansing rain fell that afternoon. Michael stood up and walked toward the trees. I held tightly to
the stone, hoping Gabriel hadn’t lied about its powers. Could angels lie?

  If he could hear my thoughts while I clutched the rock, Michael never let on. Shivering in soaked clothing, he approached with dried branches from the forest floor, arranged a rock circle on the river bank, and stacked the wood. “The fire will warm you.”

  “Don’t suppose you have a lighter?” I teased.

  He smirked. “I don’t need one.”

  He held his finger out and a flame appeared at the end. The fire slowly began to consume the dry bark, licking its way up the stack of wood.

  “That was sexy,” I said, meaning every word.

  Michael grinned, but didn’t reply. I pondered the contour of his mouth; soft, pillowy bottom lip, strong, stern top lip. Lips that knew how to move over those of a woman... instinctually.

  His eyes flashed a deep crimson. “Stop.”

  Clutching the Angel stone, I couldn’t help but laugh. His eyes were like a damn traffic light. “Sorry, I will. I’m... sorry.” I giggled.

  “What is so funny?” he growled, stalking toward me.

  I took a step back. The Keeper of Crows might just be Michael to me, but he was all archangel to everyone else, and at times when he was all worked up like this, if he had wings, I’d have fallen at his feet and begged him for mercy.

  “Your thoughts are erratic. I can’t read you. Are you laughing at my lips, or at my ability to wield them, Carmen?” His face was an inch from mine. He’d moved so fast, my mind couldn’t process what I saw.

  “Uh...neither?”

  “Is that a question or an assertion?”

  I didn’t know which it was, because my mind felt tingly when he was this close. I just wanted him to press those lips to mine and show me how skilled he was with them. Then, suddenly he did. And it was heavenly. His lips captured mine and his teeth scraped against my flesh as they nipped and pulled my bottom lip, taking it and making it their captive. My entire body was on fire. My eyes fluttered closed, but I was sure he’d used his fiery finger to ignite me. When his hands found my waist and reeled me in, my knees buckled. When his fingers urged my head forward, I wished I had hair for him to pull. When he finally broke away, panting just like I was, my heart shattered.