Poison in Pumps

by Karen Anne

  “We had a bad fight. I think we broke up,” I finally admitted.

  “What?” Natalie said as Brit’s jaw dropped.

  “Not for real, though? Like you’re just taking a break or something?” Brit asked hopefully.

  I walked past them and into the living room. I sat on the couch and took a breath. “I don’t know. I’m really upset.”

  “But your lips are tattooed on his neck, and he gave you a promise ring. You guys are a forever thing.” Natalie sounded frantic, like if my love life didn’t work out then hers had no hope.

  “Sorry to disappoint you, but not all stories have a happy ending.”

  Brit sat beside me. “What happened?”

  “He… uh… has a roommate who doesn’t believe in pants. A beautiful blonde rock star named Danny that he failed to tell me about.”

  “He cheated on you?” Brit sounded horrified.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “So, then why did you end things?” Natalie said a little too sassy for my taste.

  “Nat, I really hate to burst your bubble, but the shit that’s been happening over the past few weeks has been building. I thought we could survive a long-distance relationship. We couldn’t.”

  “But it’s only been a little over a month,” Brit said, rubbing my arm.

  “You go a month without Erik and tell me how easy it is. You have a stronger relationship with his assistant than him. You have him miss the biggest moment in your life and live with a half-naked girl and then tell me how you’re surviving, and everything is freaking fabulous,” I snapped. She pulled her hand away. Crap. I had taken it too far.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just been so hard.” My eyes threatened tears, and the salt stung. I had cried so much in the past twenty-four hours I didn’t know how I wasn’t completely dehydrated.

  “Why didn’t you come to us?” Brit asked.

  “It was your birthday, and I didn’t want to ruin it.”

  “You’re so stupid.” She shook her head.

  “What she means is, you can always come to us. We’re your sisters,” Natalie said with a cheery smile.

  “Ugh, cut the kum-bah-yah crap, Drama Queen. I meant, it doesn’t matter if it was my birthday, you can always come to me, Kris.”

  “I just didn’t want to spoil your party. Erik worked so hard.”

  “Well, he didn’t do it alone. I know you helped. Besides, I was worried about you. So, by leaving, you sort of only drew more attention to the fact that something was up.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. It actually was a good party, and I’m sorry you missed it.”

  “I wouldn’t have mentally been there anyway.” I sighed and leaned back into the couch.

  “As soon as you left, Brit switched her shoes!” Natalie tattled.

  “Seriously?”

  “What if zombies attacked? I can’t run in pumps.” Brit crossed her arms as if her logic was valid.

  I glared at her, not impressed. “No, but you could have used the heel as a weapon.”

  “Huh. I never thought about it that way. You’re so smart.” She smiled at me. “So, what do you want to do? Are you hungry?”

  “No, I ate at Harry’s.”

  “Want to get in PJs and watch old movies?” Natalie offered.

  “I think… I think I just want to go to my own bed. Is that okay?”

  “Yeah that’s fine,” Brit said, her face cloaked in understanding.

  I gave the girls a group hug. “Thanks ladies, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  I took a shower, and when I went into my room there was a chocolate cupcake on my nightstand and a note from Brit that read: “For what it’s worth, I don’t believe for a minute that it’s over between you guys.”

  I looked at the cupcake and saw a trace of runny red dye bleeding over the vanilla frosting. She had removed the candy heart. I wish it was that easy to remove mine. Surveying the room, I realized just how much of David’s presence was here. There were pictures and stuffed animals. A few of his shirts, ticket stubs from movies, concerts and shows, and the most agonizing token— the promise ring. I got on my hands and knees and retrieved it from beneath the dresser and placed it in my jewelry box, not knowing what else to do with it.

  I couldn’t just sit here, surrounded by him and expect to feel like myself. Every single photo begged me to stop and look at them. Some were candid, some were group shots. But some were just us. Perfect, happy, in love. It was easy to see how happy we were together. Me on David’s back, laughing as we walked through a carnival. David on stage, singing. The two of us smiling as we kissed in a photo booth.

  Suddenly, the thought of our first kiss came rushing back to me, and overwhelmed by the emotion of it, I had to sit on the edge of my bed.

  We had spent the day together talking. It was one of those talks where the day turned into night and you didn’t even realize any time had transpired. The coffee shop was closing and as we walked outside, David took out a pack of cigarettes, pulled one out and placed it between his perfect lips. It hung there dangerously as he fished for a lighter in his pocket. Not able to control myself, I reached over and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and stuck it behind my ear. David’s eyes widened in surprise. But I just shrugged.

  “Those things will kill you.”

  He didn’t say anything. Simply looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time, then his hand slipped around my waist, and he pulled me toward him, his lips instantly against mine. Although warm and supple, they were firm and held a commanding quality. No one had ever kissed me like that. I could taste the strawberry tart he had earlier as he parted my lips with his tongue, deepening our connection. Tingles began to radiate everywhere, my body awakening from a long sleep. My hands shook against his chest. It was scary feeling so intimate so fast. When David released me from his kiss, I remained tethered to him by invisible strings, and as my eyes fluttered open, I watched how he licked his lips before dipping his forehead against mine.

  “What was that for?” I asked rather breathless.

  “For caring.”

  In that moment, I knew I wanted to keep on caring forever.

  Now, looking at the pictures in my hands, I wondered how forever ended so soon. This was stupid. We were strong, and I wasn’t about to let that Danny bitch have my David. I reached for my phone, determined to call him, fully prepared to give Garret hell so I could work things out with the love of my life when I saw I had three missed calls and a text from David that simply said, I love you. Please call me.

  Elated, I sat on my bed and did as he had asked. The phone had barely rung once when David answered. “Thank Christ,” he said. “Kristen, I am so sorry. You are right. I should have told you about Danny and not avoided the subject. I swear to you nothing is going on. She knows I have a girlfriend, she’s always known. I was just so caught off guard I stupidly didn’t introduce you. Please, please forgive me. I can’t do this without you.”

  I didn’t know how badly I had needed to hear his voice until that second. “I may have overreacted,” I admitted, and I heard him exhale on the other end of the call. “This is just new, and I feel so in the dark. Between your assistant and not knowing your roommate was a girl, and you not calling after my audition…”

  “I know. I know. I am so sorry. I’m doing the best I can here, Kris. My days are long, and there’s the bloody time difference, but don’t think for a moment that I’m not missing you like crazy— and my thoughts were with you when you had your audition, I swear I was telling anyone who would listen that my girl had her big shot that day.”

  I pressed the receiver closer to my ear. “Really?”

  “Of course! You know you’re my girl— you’ll always be my girl.” I closed my eyes, relieved. “So, are we okay?”

  “Yes,” I affirmed. “We’re okay.”

  “Thank god.” David breathed heavily into the phone. I had a feeling he had been through the same amount of hel
l that I had been. “Is there anything I can do to make up for the mess I’ve made?”

  “Yeah,” I said with conviction. “Tell Danny to wear a bra around you— and pants!”

  “Done,” David said.

  “So,” I said as I opened my jewelry box and slipped the ring back on my finger. “How was your Valentine’s Day?” David laughed on the other end, and for the first time since I had first laid eyes on Danny, I trusted in us again.

  NINETEEN

  My last semester proved to be a heavy workload as February faded into March. But again, I welcomed the distraction. With David still very busy, I knew he would be in London for several more months. I hoped he’d be able to visit for at least a long weekend in the spring, but I had learned by now not to get my hopes up. It hadn’t gotten any easier, but we tried to focus on the positive. He had been rather transparent since the Valentine’s Day incident, telling me even the tiniest nuances of his day, like going to the supermarket to get milk. I think he was just trying to prove that although busy, things were still normal—somewhat.

  “So, there’s something I need to tell you, love. I know you’re not going to like it.”

  On the other side of my screen, David dropped his gaze and folded his hands. My palms got sweaty. He looked really concerned, and there was no way this was going to be good news. Was he about to tell me he had to stay longer than we thought? A year perhaps. I took a shaky breath and hoped for the best.

  “What is it?”

  “You know Danny and I have a duet together. The song will be a track on my album, and hers, as a way to cross promote.”

  This was not new information. David had sugar coated that one for me a week ago. I wasn’t thrilled, but I had played it cool. “Yeah, you told me this already. You said nothing’s going on other than music, and I believe you.”

  “Right, well, we had a photoshoot yesterday for Rocker! They’re doing a story on new artists to watch this year. I don’t really know how my agent landed that one, but she did.”

  “Rocker! Wow! That’s so exciting! When will the article come out?”

  “Next month.”

  “Brit will die. That’s one of her favorite magazines.”

  “Yes, but there’s something that happened during the photoshoot. I wanted you to hear it from me rather than see it.”

  My nerves tied themselves into a big knot. This was not going to be good. “Let me guess, you’re shirtless. Showing off your abs and tats to the world?” I tried to joke, hoping that was the case, and if it were, he’d look crazy hot.

  “Almost. They had me in a leather vest, it’s open and ripped jeans. Not very original.” He shrugged. I nodded, raising my gaze to his hair. His platinum-silver hair was gone. It was now a medium brown, which I wasn’t fully used to yet. His hair was still tied back into a small bun, so I wasn’t sure if I liked the color or not. But this look he had told me whatever happened at the photo shoot was more than a change in his wardrobe or hair. Something was off. David’s eyes flickered away from me again. The knots tightened in my belly.

  “David,” I said softly. “What don’t I want to see?”

  He unfolded then refolded his hands. “They photographed us together, and they posed us for playful pics… risqué… is what they were after, I suppose, and the camera guy asked us to kiss.”

  The knot in my stomach had constricted, cutting off all circulation, air, life support. I was dying. It was quiet as I searched to find my voice. When the words finally did leave my mouth, they were small and weak. “And did you?”

  “It all happened so fast, Kris. Before I could think, Danny just planted one on me, and he snapped the picture.”

  The knot had melted into a pool of hot lava that now took over my stomach. My blood was boiling. “That bitch!” The words came out through gritted teeth. I contemplated just going straight to the airport, charging my ticket and getting the first flight to London just so I could toss her British arse out of his flat through the window by her bouncy blonde hair. “I’m seriously going to kill her.”

  “Kris, I know you’re angry. That’s why I wanted to tell you. But please understand it was a quick peck. Danny is just doing what these guys tell her to do.”

  “Please don’t defend her. I’m seriously not in the mood.”

  “I’m not,” he pleaded. “I’m just trying to explain how fake this place is. It’s a land of make believe. They want to sell fantasy.”

  I felt like he had smacked me rather than soothed me. He was doing nothing to calm my nerves. “And are you getting caught up in the fantasy?”

  He shook his head. “I just want to sell my music. That’s the plan, right? I’m here to make dreams come true.”

  I was still hung up on trashy Danny locking lips with my man. “So, would you have kissed her? If you were given the choice?” My knee was bouncing a mile a minute. It was hard to sit still. He paused, and in that breath of silence, I knew he would have. “Wow.”

  “Kris, it’s not real. I swear. It’s all an illusion.”

  “No, I get it. Gotta play the part, right?” My words were pure venom.

  “Kristen. I am in love with you,” he said each word slow, deliberate. “This is new for both of us. It’s like an actor in the movies kissing his co-star. I swear to god that’s all it was to me.”

  I was quiet. I didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or accept his explanation. Finally, I admitted defeat. He had been honest. I supposed that was a step in the right direction. “This David that they're creating… just don’t lose yourself in him.”

  “I won’t, baby. I’m yours. I swear. I wish I could hold you now and just reassure you that this is not anything to worry about. It was a quick peck, like kissing my granny.”

  My mouth twitched. “I don’t think your granny walks around in red panties and tank tops with no bra underneath.”

  “Oh I don’t know, gran was a wild one in her day. Still is.” He winked at me. And despite my anger and apprehension, my heart skipped a beat in response.

  “This is just really hard.”

  “I know, but we’ll get through it. I love you, and I can’t wait to start forever with you.”

  I started to get choked up, so I held up my hand so he could see his promise ring on my finger. “Me too.”

  In Psychology class the following day, I was useless. My notes were fragments of what my professor was saying. I couldn’t get the thought of what David had told me out of my head, and so my fears interfered with my concentration. I believed him when he said it was innocent, but we were in a new land now where the rules didn’t matter, and I wasn’t quite sure how to navigate.

  “What’s wrong?” Brit asked when I stepped out of the building to meet her for lunch.

  “I didn’t say a word.”

  “You didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face.”

  There was no reason to pretend. This was Brit. I took a breath and said the words fast so they would hurt less. “David did a photoshoot for Rocker! the other day and Danny kissed him during it. He’s concerned the picture will be published.”

  Brit blinked back at me.

  “Yeah, so where do you want to have lunch?” I asked like I had just told her the shirt I ordered arrived in the wrong size. No big deal.

  “Wait. Stop. Rewind.” Brit came to a halt, waving her hands dramatically in the air, her eyes fluttering as she tried to comprehend my words. “Danny kissed David, and you’re this calm?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not calm. I’m numb. Trust me, when I initially found out I was planning how to murder Danny without getting caught.”

  Brit looped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me against her. Brit hated hugs so I knew she was concerned. “But David told you right? It’s not like when you found out he was hiding a female roommate. He came clean this time?”

  “Oh yeah. He made sure I found out from him and not at the checkout line of CVS… which I’m really hoping never transpires. I mean they might not publish it, righ
t? It was a peck, so chances are it came out blurry.” I was talking more to myself than to Brit.

  “What if it is published?” Brit asked quietly.

  I turned to face her, my gaze locking on her brown eyes. They looked sad. “Then I’ll be the laughing stock of the school. Rumors will fly about David cheating on me, or how I found out through a magazine that he’s with this girl. Jesus, what if my mother sees it? Or my dad— it took David years to win over my dad.”

  “He’s not with this girl,” Brit said with such conviction I actually believed her.

  “I know, but I sure as hell feel like she wants to be with him.” I shook out my hair in frustration.

  “She might.” Brit had crossed her arms and was looking past me. I could tell she was in deep thought.

  “Well thanks, I feel so much better now.”

  Brit smiled softly. “I’m being honest. David is very handsome, and fiercely talented. Plus, he’s got that accent. Women swoon.”

  “She’s got the accent, too. Same accent, nothing to swoon over in that respect.”

  Brit rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. But here’s the thing. If she does want him that doesn’t mean she can have him. David is devoted to you.” She lifted my hand, bringing the promise ring eye level. “He’s coming back to you, Kris, and then you’re going to have your happily ever after. You’re worried about a picture that may or may not be printed. Think about all the pictures in your future. Trust me, the world will know you’re the one with David Archer.”

  I smiled despite myself. She was pretty smart that little one. “You’re quite convincing, you know that?”

  “And that was my wisdom on an empty stomach. Imagine if I was running on a full tank?”

  On Sunday, I was expecting Harry for lunch. He had been so kind to me when the mess unfolded with David, plus I worried he was lonely. Without David to drag him out of his apartment, I feared he’d only leave to go to the gym. He worked from home, and staring at a computer screen couldn’t be the healthiest thing for him. I had gone to the Italian deli in the next town and splurged on cheeses, salami and grilled chicken topped with sautéed spinach and drizzled with balsamic. Admittedly, I hadn’t cooked any of it myself, but I’m sure the boy would appreciate my shopping efforts.