Poison in Pumps

by Karen Anne

  “Good-bye, David.” I ended the call while I still had the will to do so.

  TWENTY-ONE

  I turned the key to David and Harry’s apartment, and then realized I shouldn’t have done that. Harry could be in there with a girl, or sitting on the couch jerking off. Not that I thought Harry was a couch masturbator or anything, but hey, ya never know.

  Removing the key as quietly as possible, I slipped it back into my pocket and knocked. A few minutes later, Harry opened the door. He was wearing a blue Superman tee, stretched tight over his pecs, a pair of worn jeans and his signature black glasses. Being the comic book geek that she is, Brit would have appreciated his look.

  “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming over.”

  “Sorry, I should have called.”

  “No, I just meant it was a pleasant surprise. Come in.” He stepped to the side to let me in, and I walked in with the box of David’s stuff. “Is that what I think it is?” He pointed to the box. David’s shirts, CDs, movies and cologne were inside. Our relationship fit in a box. Three years and our love was measured in Aqua Di Gio and the Blu-ray edition of The Lost Boys. It was beyond pathetic.

  “Yeah, did he tell you?” I don’t know why I asked. I guessed I still had hope. Maybe they had spoken. Maybe I really was overreacting. Or maybe I was still in shock and my actions were completely justified. Hard to tell. Everything felt fuzzy.

  Harry scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. “David had a subscription to Rocker! So I called him as soon as I saw. I’m so sorry, Kris.”

  Everyone had seen it. My breakup was literally the kiss heard around the world. “I was hoping to return this stuff and fill the box with my belongings.”

  “Of course, do you want help?”

  “No, I don’t have that much to get.”

  “Okay.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I uh, have some laundry to do, so I’ll be in the basement if you need me. But don’t leave without saying good-bye, okay?”

  I nodded and went into David’s room. I hadn’t been in here since that night I cried in Harry’s arms. The bed wasn’t made, and being the OCD chick that I am, I fixed it. I had to. I was the last person that slept in it.

  When the bed no longer held any proof that goldilocks had nestled in it, I went through David’s closet and the drawer he had set aside for me, pulling out all my shoes and clothes. Then I found my caddy of toiletries and a few books I had left behind. I really didn’t think David wanted any of my dog-eared romance novels.

  I put away his belongings and filled the box with my things. And that was it. We were officially out of each other’s lives. I took a breath and looked around, feeling like I had overlooked something. I thought about our last kiss that morning outside the terminal. How he had promised he would be back for me.

  Promise! That was it. I reached into my pocket until my fingers found the silver promise ring. It was so simple, yet it held so much meaning, and now all it held was pain. Being a masochist, I put it on my finger one last time. It felt so natural there, and I stared at the knot, imagining it transformed into a diamond. The future that should have been mine, but would never be—at least not with David. Almost as if someone had punched me in the gut, the pain returned, knocking the wind right out of me. I wondered if there would ever be a time when I would feel whole again. Or would the heartache return, like an unexpected visitor, tapping me on the shoulder, reminding me that my wounds will never truly heal?

  I took it off and placed the ring on David’s dresser, and seeing it there— a visible reminder of how our story was over— I cried. The door creaked open, and Harry came in. “Hey…” He touched my arm, and I was on auto pilot. I didn’t think, I reacted, flipped around and hugged him while shakily sobbing into his neck.

  Harry held me tighter, which only made me cry harder, like he was squeezing the pain out of me. “It’s okay, cry all you need.”

  “It hurts. I can’t make the hurt stop. Please, please make it stop,” I said to him like a child begging their parent to scare away the monster under their bed.

  Harry squeezed me again then pulled back. He was chewing on his bottom lip. “Okay.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “I can’t make the pain go away forever, but I can make it go away right now.”

  I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve. “What do you mean?”

  “Give me a second.” Harry walked out, and I just stared at the empty doorway like a puppy waiting for him to return. He came back and held out his fist like he was going to give me something. I held up my hand, and he dropped a little white pill into my palm.

  “What is this?”

  Harry shrugged. “Modern magic.”

  “No thanks. I don't take pills to solve my problems.”

  “Funny, because you had no issue taking sleeping pills.” He didn’t say it nasty, more like he was trying to prove a point. “Look, I know you’re hurting, and I’ve been there. This helped.”

  “What will it do?”

  “Take the edge off. You’ll actually feel pretty good. Happy even.”

  “Is it illegal?” I was such a dork. But still, I had to know.

  “It’s prescription.”

  I shook my head and handed it back. “No thanks, I’m good.” I was such a chicken. I had a bad reaction to a pot brownie once. The dance floor turned to water, and I spent the night with my head in the toilet. That was enough drugs for me.

  He curled my fingers over the pill. “That’s the thing, Kris, you’re not okay. You’re pretty much the remnants of a train wreck. Look, I know you have school, sorority shit, and your music students to deal with without having to juggle the pain of ending your relationship. One won’t get you addicted. Like I said, I’m just trying to help you take the edge off.”

  I looked over at the mirror. I didn’t even recognize that girl. She was a shell of me, empty and broken.

  Harry reached into his back pocket and pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to me. “You know how much I care about you. I’m just trying to make you feel better.” Harry shrugged. “The choice is entirely yours.”

  Brit’s party flashed in my head. Erik had painted a quote on the bathroom mirror in watercolor. It was from Alice in Wonderland. “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”

  Maybe it was time for me to stop being the good girl. I didn’t audition for the program I wanted, and I fucked up my shot at Juilliard. I let David go without a solid game plan, and our relationship imploded. Harry was one of the few people in my life that I could tolerate through this whole ordeal, so I followed him down the rabbit hole, popping that magic pill and hoping against hope that it truly would dissolve my pain.

  Twenty minutes later, my worries were so far away, I didn’t even remember why I had been upset. I was stretched out on the boys’ couch, my legs lazily draped over Harry’s thighs as he was trying to toss popcorn into my mouth. He missed every time, and it was hysterical.

  “You’re wiggling too much,” he said, hitting my forehead with the popcorn. When the first few pieces of popcorn started being tossed, Beast had run into Harry’s room, dodging the shower of popcorn. I may have named him Beast, but he was such a timid little guy.

  “I am not wiggling. You are just a shitty shot.” The next popped kernel hit off my eyelid, and I burst out laughing. “You suck!”

  “Then if it’s so easy, you try.” He handed me the bowl, and I sat up, tucking my legs under my thighs.

  “Move back, I need my space.”

  “Oh, suddenly, she’s an expert shot.” Harry scooted back into the corner and looked at me. “All right, bullseye, let’s see what you can do.” My first shot hit the S on his chest. “Hey, gorgeous, maybe you need the glasses.”

  I giggled uncontrollably and had to calm myself down before I tossed another one. That one landed in his hair.

  Harry pointed at his dimples. “This is your runway, come in here for a landing.”

 
I laughed and took a breath. “Okay, I got this.” I aimed and tossed the popcorn. Harry leaned forward, and it landed in his mouth.

  “I did it!” I threw my hands up in celebration, tossing hundreds of popped kernels all over the couch.

  “Yes, you sure did!” He shook his head. “I’ll go get the vacuum.” He walked down the hallway, and I leaned far over to admire his ass. It was a fine ass. One I wouldn’t mind biting.

  Yum.

  I rolled back onto the couch, feeling the kernels crunch beneath my back. Normally that would have freaked me out. But it didn’t. I didn’t have a care in the world, and it felt amazing to be so free.

  Harry returned with a hand held vac and sucked up the popcorn on the floor first. When he had them all, he vacuumed around me on the couch, and when I didn’t budge, he ran that sucker across my belly. I burst out laughing and grabbed at his forearms to make him stop. Damn! His arms felt good. He turned off the vacuum and smiled at me.

  “Are you going to move?”

  “I wasn’t planning on it.” I bit my lip. Was I flirting with him? I think I was flirting with him.

  “Don’t make me have to move you,” he warned, and I suddenly really wanted him to make me move. I raised a brow, daring him.

  “You asked for it.” He dropped the vacuum and scooped his arms around my waist then flipped me over his shoulder. I automatically screamed from the swiftness of what had transpired. He had me hanging upside down and helpless, and for some reason, it was all very funny, so I laughed. “I have no problem doing housework like this,” he said, and I realized I now had an even better view of his ass, which was very similar to David’s.

  Damn these Archer boys and their unexpected similarities.

  “I’d like to see you try,” I challenged.

  Harry bent down to pick up the vacuum, which gave me a funny feeling in my stomach. Then he bent over the couch, turned the vacuum on, and continued to suck up the popcorn. The boy cooked, cleaned, was strong, sexy, and could make my problems melt away with one teeny tiny pill. I was very impressed.

  I woke up feeling slightly disoriented. I blinked in the darkness, a weird blue glow around the room. The TV in the living room was on, and I was under a blanket and cuddled up against Harry. I leapt back, confused. Beast meowed, and I realized he was on my lap.

  One big happy family.

  “You okay?” Harry asked.

  I must have woken him when I jumped. I picked up Beast, kissed the top of his head, and placed him on the floor.

  “Yeah.” I looked over at the screen. It was Conan O’Brien. Jesus, what time did we fall asleep? I came over around three. Did we really spend eight hours on his couch? That seemed insane. Beast meowed again and looked at me with his big, green eyes.

  “Shit! Did Beast eat?”

  Harry nodded. Of course he had fed him. He was the responsible one. When did I become so forgetful? I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair. It needed to be washed. In fact, I could probably use a shower all together. I think I still had popcorn in my cleavage.

  Harry reached over onto the coffee table and put his glasses back on. I wondered when he had taken them off. “No, I mean it. How do you feel?”

  “Um, fine.”

  Harry nodded, then smiled. He seemed relieved. “Good.”

  “Harry, what did you give me before anyway?”

  “A little Demerol. It’s a pain killer.”

  “I wasn’t in any pain.”

  “Yes, you were.”

  I guess he was right. My heart was pretty much torn to shreds and wasn’t my heart a muscle? If I had twisted my ankle, I’d need ibuprofen. His logic actually made sense to me. “I better go. Brit will send out a search party if I spend another night away from home.”

  “You okay to drive?”

  “I actually feel fine. I slept, so I’m pretty awake.”

  “Hold on.” He ran into his bedroom and came back with another magic pill. “If things get bad again.”

  I must have given him a funny look because he adjusted his glasses and shrugged. “At least you have it. I mean, I don’t expect you to exist off these forever, but despite what society says, there’s nothing wrong with admitting you need a crutch.”

  I kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Harry.”

  “No problem, and I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us.”

  Huh. Suddenly my whole popping a happy pill every now and then felt really wrong. Way to kill my buzz, man. “Why?”

  “Two reasons. One, unless someone has gone through what you’re currently going through, they’d never understand the crutch thing. Two, I don’t want people to get confused and think for a moment that I’m dealing.”

  “I understand. Let me get my stuff.”

  I ran into David’s room, grabbed my box, and walked briskly back into the living room. Harry walked me to the door and leaned against the archway, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Maybe we can hang out again. I had a lot of fun today.”

  My first instinct was to say no. This was David’s apartment, and it sucked being surrounded by things that reminded me of him. But, in all honesty, Harry was the only person right now that made me feel not so pathetic. “You know what? I did, too, which is so weird considering how my day began. I’d never thought I’d laugh again, and well… you know.”

  Harry nodded. “Text me when you get in. I won’t be able to fall back to sleep unless I know you’re okay.”

  My heart twitched. I won’t be able to fall back to sleep unless I know you’re okay. David used to say that all the time. I forced a smile, and told him that I would. Then I knelt down and gave Beast a kiss before heading down the stairs.

  There was actually no reason to rush back to the sorority house. A bunch of the girls were in their pajamas watching a movie together. They waved as I walked passed but were more focused on Channing Tatum’s dance moves than my absence. Any of the sisters who would interrogate me were nowhere to be found. Brit was staying with Erik, Summer was on a double date with Skylar, and Natalie had her door closed, so I assumed she was studying.

  I went into my room, changed and got my stuff to wash up in the bathroom. I took a hot shower, scrubbed my hair, and replayed the day in my mind. I had felt so comfortable with Harry. Perhaps too comfortable. It certainly was confusing. Getting out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around myself, wiped the steam off the mirror, and stared hard at the girl who looked back.

  I still felt calm. The world wasn’t as amusing as it was a few hours ago, but it was bearable. That pill really was magic. I hoped its effects would linger forever. I knew I had the second one safely in my purse, but I hoped I wouldn’t need it. I wanted to go to bed, get a good night’s sleep, and move on from this nightmare.

  TWENTY-TWO

  After the great popcorn toss, my week took a nose dive. Nothing seemed to be going right. My classes gave an unforgivable amount of homework, I got stuck with a complete slacker as a partner for my Psych project, my student was sick, so I lost today’s pay, and now my sorority meeting was completely out of control.

  The girls were arguing over where to hold our Spring formal. “Can we just get through March? I think there are other things that need to be determined before we pick a banquet hall for an occasion still three months away. This is Pennsylvania, not Park Avenue, it’s not like everyone is fighting for that dream reception hall,” I said in an effort to regain control.

  “I disagree, Kristen,” Summer said, standing. “I can’t think of anything more important. If we don’t decide and book our hall, then another sorority will beat us to it. I feel the seniors deserve a beautiful location.”

  The girls started clapping, and I knew I couldn’t argue. “Fine, whatever you want. I’m obviously not going to win. I thought the charity was our priority, but clearly, it’s ball gowns and DJs that you’re concerned about.”

  Summer looked perfectly disgusted by me. “Look, Kris, I know you broke up with David, but that’s no reason to ruin it f
or the rest of us.”

  I slammed the meeting binder shut. “This has nothing to do with David! How dare you?”

  Brit jumped up. “Summer that was really low.”

  “Yes, defend her. You guys are like this iron wall. God forbid you think for yourself, Brit. But all you have to do is look at her. She’s living in yoga pants and sweatshirts, and it’s not because she’s at the gym.”

  “You know what? I don’t need this. Meeting adjourned.”

  “You can’t end the meeting just because you’re throwing a tantrum!” Summer snapped.

  “I’m throwing a tantrum? I wanted to discuss this year’s fundraiser, and you want to pick on my wardrobe and go dig out your old prom gown. This is bullshit. I think you girls forget why we’re in this sorority. There’s more to us than dances and dates.”

  “See? I knew it. You’re pissed that you won’t have a date, and that’s not our fault.”

  My hand flew across Summer’s face so fast, I didn’t even realize I had struck her.

  There was an audible gasp throughout the room, and Brit jumped in-between us.

  “You bitch!” Summer lunged forward, but Brit was quicker and stronger. She grabbed her arms, holding her by the wrists. “Calm down, Summer,” Brit said through gritted teeth.

  Summer ignored her, looking past Brit at me. She was filled with hatred. “And you call yourself a president?”

  “Fine, impeach me! See if I care. This whole sorority is bullshit anyway.” I stormed into the hallway, grabbed my coat and purse from the closet, and left. My car was parked out front, so I was able to get inside and lock the door before Brit reached it. She knocked on the window. I glanced over at her; she didn’t have a coat on. She looked worried. I knew she just wanted to help, but she couldn’t help me. Maybe if she had let me in months ago, I’d be able to go to her now.

  I shook my head and signaled for her to back away. When she had safely stepped back, I peeled out of my spot and disappeared down the road. My veins were twitching, and I had no clue where I was even going. I just wanted to get as far away from Summer Hobbs as I could, because I knew deep down, she was right.