Poison in Pumps

by Karen Anne

  Pete gestured for me to take a seat on the big leather chair. It looked like a dentist chair. But bigger. I sat down, feeling dumb as I put my legs up. Brit jumped on beside me. He looked like he wanted to object but refrained. “I was wondering if David had left me for another artist,” Pete joked. “I still need to finish the clock on his shoulder. When is he coming back?” He took the stool beside me and wheeled over to us.

  “Uh…” I glanced at Brit. “I’m not sure.” Pete gestured for me to give him my arm then started wiping my wrist down with an antiseptic. It was cold. Brit squealed. I think she was more excited than I was.

  “Yeah, I bet he’s loving the rock star life now. Are you going to visit him there this summer?” I knew Pete was only trying to calm me down. He was chatting me up so I’d be distracted, and he could work without my girly sobs and freak outs, but I really didn’t want to talk about David.

  “I’m not sure. It would be expensive.” I figured it was best to keep the charade going rather than break down and tell him about how we had broken up. Besides, he might not let Brit stay then.

  “Come on! He’s a rock star now. He should be flying you out there with all his millions.” Pete winked.

  I forced a laugh and watched him put the purple stencil over my wrist. He rubbed over it until it transferred, then peeled it back. “All right, that’s where it will be. If you don’t like it, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

  Even in purple it looked so good, and I realized then, I didn’t just want this tattoo. I needed it. I held out my wrist to Brit, who nodded in approval.

  “All right, Pete, you have the green light. Take my ink virginity.”

  “With pleasure, sweetheart.” He bent over and held my wrist firmly but gently. “All right, let’s make a memory.”

  The buzzing began, and when the needle first touched my skin, I squeezed Brit’s hand so hard I thought I would shatter her fingers. “Kris, you can hold my hand, but you can’t break it.”

  “Sorry,” I spoke through clenched teeth. “Distract me.”

  “Uh…”

  “You are so not helping.” Pete pressed the needle in deeper and I drew in a sharp breath.

  “Uh….”

  “Brit!”

  “Sorry, I buckle under pressure. Got it.” She broke out into song. It was My Shot and I burst out laughing because I knew Brit would only rap for me. I joined in, singing the chorus and belting out the lyrics when it hurt too bad. If this was a tattoo, I couldn’t even fathom labor. I took breaths, singing with her through the pain, and the entire first act of Hamilton before Pete gave me a break. Whether that break was actually for me or him, I wasn’t sure. Still, it was a relief to have the needle off my wrist even for a few minutes. He had finished the staff and the G clef, all that he needed to do was the water color.

  “Wow, it already looks so good, you know, minus the blood,” Brit noted.

  “Yeah, the worst part has to be over, right?”

  Pete chuckled, and I knew the worst hadn’t even begun yet. I suddenly had a new respect for David. I had sat here for thirty minutes and fought tears, trembling teeth, and the need to crush Brit’s fingers. He sat calmly and told me jokes. And just like that, thinking about him in this very chair, winking at me while Pete inked up his arms, I missed him terribly.

  I looked around for a napkin, but there weren’t any.

  “What’s wrong, love?”

  “I need a place to blot my lipstick.”

  David tilted his head. “Right here.” I laughed. He was so cute sometimes. I reached over and placed my lips on his neck, giving him a generous kiss. He gave a soft moan as I pulled away.

  “There. Now I claimed you as mine.”

  “Let me see.” David extended his hand, so I’d put my compact mirror in his palm. Looking into the mirror, he smiled. “Brilliant. Let’s make it permanent, shall we?”

  “Permanent?”

  David was already on his feet, and his grin was filled with mischief. He dropped money into the bill fold and took my hand as we left the cafe. We scurried past the stores, and it wasn’t until he had stepped up to Pete’s tattoo parlor that I understood what he had meant by permanent.

  “David, no way!”

  “Yes.”

  “You can’t… it’s so… permanent.”

  “Exactly.”

  I pulled my hand away and shook my head. “Absolutely not.”

  “The only reason you’re scared is because you think this won’t end well.”

  “Well, we don’t know.”

  “I know.”

  “I think you should sleep on it. We’ve only been dating a few months, this is very… sudden.”

  “Kristen, I am more in love with you than I’ve ever been with anyone my entire life. You are the only girl for me. I know you’re young, you need time. But I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you forever.”

  “You sound insane.”

  “I’m insane about you. I’m not trying to scare you… I just want a part of you with me… always.”

  “What…what if we break up?”

  “Trust me, love, if you care for me half as much as I care for you, that will never happen.”

  He bent down and swept his lips across mine. He was right. I had never fallen for anyone as hard or as fast as I had fallen for David. In the past few months, he had become my whole world.

  “Do it before I change my mind,” I said, completely under the spell of his kiss.

  “When will it stop hurting?” I asked, holding back the tears. I was in the living room of the sorority house.

  “I mean, I know it stings, but he gave you cream for the pain,” Brit said with slightly less sympathy than I would have hoped for.

  “No. I don’t mean the tattoo.” I looked down at my bandaged wrist. “I mean the pain of losing David.”

  The girls went quiet. I had brought down my sleeping bag and a few pillows to camp out in their room tonight. We were watching Tristan and Isolde, and I just couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. They had let me pick the movie, and I stupidly went for the cathartic cry. That and the bottle of red wine didn’t help, either. David and I used to always share a bottle of wine on special nights. Even the empty bottle made me miss him. Maybe that’s why I had brought that bottle of red to Harry’s. I was trying to fill the void.

  “I don’t know,” Brit said softly. “But maybe the hurt equals the love.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Brit traced her own tattoo lightly with the pad of her finger. “I mean, maybe your love is measured in your pain. So when you look back you can think about what a great love you once had.”

  “That really doesn’t help.”

  “But it should. If you got over David in a weekend, it would diminish your relationship. So at least you know you didn’t waste those three years.”

  “No, I definitely didn’t waste them.”

  “Do you want to date?” Natalie asked.

  “No, especially not after the confusion with Harry. I still don’t really know how to classify that.”

  “Did you like him?” She rested her cheek against her pillow.

  “Well, yes, of course. But I don’t know how real my feelings were. Maybe I was just drowning the sorrow. Or maybe it was just the drugs. Who knows.”

  “Well, how do you feel now when you think about it?” Natalie looked at me with sincere curiosity.

  I didn’t even have to think. The emotion had sat in my stomach like a rock ever since Boston. “Guilty.”

  “My gut says you need to stay away from him. I know in the beginning he was there for you, but he always seemed to have a thing for you, so part of me wonders…” Brit trailed off.

  “What? Spit it out.”

  “I wonder if he only gave you those pills to try to take advantage of you.”

  “No, he’s not like that at all,” I said with complete conviction.

  “It’s just weird. I mean, he’s a gorgeous guy who could get any girl, so why of
fer you drugs? It seems like a logical explanation to me.”

  “Well you just don’t know him the way I do.”

  “Well, do you know him? Really know him?” Natalie asked.

  “I…” I thought I had. “I don’t know.”

  THIRTY

  Safety patrol, as I was now calling my friends, was keeping me on a short leash. Erik was able to get me a job at the Draught. So between work, the studying, pep talks, and Natalie’s relentless beauty treatments, I wasn’t able to see Harry. Which was probably a good thing, but in a weird way, I missed him. When I was with Harry, nothing mattered. It was like I could take my heart and momentarily put it on the shelf. There was no pain, only pleasure, and it was lovely. He texted me often, and I replied somewhat honestly, saying that I was failing and needed to get back on track. I knew I couldn’t ignore him forever. But I hoped I could.

  So when I went out the back door of the Draught to throw away the garbage and saw Harry standing there, I felt like I had seen a ghost. A ghost that was making me feel incredibly nervous. The last time I saw him, I was stripping and tangled in his arms, our tongues practically knotted together.

  “How did you know I was here?”

  “Facebook. You changed your employment from piano teacher to barista queen.”

  “Oh… yeah.” Stupid Facebook. I had only posted that to avoid people asking me if I was available for piano lessons. Having officially been fired by Mr. Russel and not being able to make eye contact with him, I didn’t even argue. I just apologized and took my punishment with as much grace as I could. Brit told me I should have been pissed at Harry, but he didn’t hold a gun to my head. I made every choice with my own free will. And seeing him now, I realized exactly why I had made those choices.

  “I saw you through the window tying up the garbage. I figured I’d meet you out back. You must be almost done with your shift.”

  “Not until ten.” I glanced at by watch it was five past nine.

  “Can we hang out after?”

  I didn’t answer. I really wanted to hang out with him, but I didn’t see how I could. I didn’t even have my car here. I had carpooled with Erik.

  “Look…” He stepped closer to me, backing me up against the dumpster. “I know how we got together was a little weird, and I am sorry that you have to work here now instead of—”

  “I don’t mind working here. Brit and Erik work here. It’s like hanging out with my friends and getting paid for it.” Harry gave me a look; he didn’t believe my lie any more than I did.

  “Yeah, well, I know music is where your passion lies, not in serving people pie. My point is, I’m really sorry for what happened last week. I was hoping maybe we could start over?”

  “Start over?” Did I want to start over, or did I want to go back in and pour coffee where it was safe? Every time I looked at the stage I wanted to puke because that’s where David had stood for over two years. Who knew what I wanted.

  “Yeah,” Harry said softly as he placed his hands on my hips and leaned in.

  His lips were so close to mine. Say no, Kristen. Say no. Pull away. You need to find the strength not to tongue wrestle with this guy. Your back is against a dumpster for crying out loud, this is not even remotely sexy. I could smell a faint trace of whiskey on Harry’s breath. Wait… I pulled my head back from his. “Have you been drinking?”

  Harry winced but didn’t answer.

  “Kris, you okay?” a male voice asked out of the darkness.

  “Erik!” I jumped, startled, pushing Harry away in the process. “You scared me.”

  “I told you not to take the garbage out. It’s way too dark back here, any creep could take advantage of you.” He glared at Harry, who only shook his head and smiled as he backed away from me.

  “Erik, I was fine.” I sighed. He had told me not to take out the garbage, and I had, of course, ignored him, wanting to believe I could take care of myself. But here I was being seduced by the dark side.

  “It’s okay, I can tell when I’m not wanted.” Harry turned to Erik. “Thanks for looking out for her, man.”

  Erik had his arms crossed, and boy did he look pissed. I had never seen that expression on him before. He was always so happy and zen. “Yeah well, I’m not just looking out for her, David is my friend.”

  Did he really just go there?

  Harry looked agitated. “And he’s my blood. What’s your point?”

  “My point is you should know better. C’mon, Kristen. Let’s go back inside.”

  “I think she can make her own decisions.” Harry’s tone made me nervous. I was positive he had been drinking, and who knew if he had taken anything else. But Erik remained calm despite Harry’s venom.

  “Look, buddy, she already got fired from one place because of you. Don’t mess this up for her, too.”

  I looked at both of them, but I had to admit in that moment, Erik was right. My parents paid for my tuition, but I covered the other stuff. I needed this job to pay for my rent, phone, and car. Not to mention credit card bills.

  I took a step toward Erik, but Harry grabbed my wrist. “Forget him, Kris. You could pour coffee anywhere.”

  “I said back off, buddy.” Erik had a fiery look in his eyes. I contemplated running in and asking the cook for help but was too scared to leave either of these two alone. Harry smiled and let go of my wrist, and I exhaled the breath I had been holding in.

  I gave Harry one last look, then turned to walk back in with Erik behind me, one protective hand on my back, shielding me from the poison that was Harry.

  “Tell Brit I said hi,” Harry snarled.

  I felt Erik stiffen beside me. “Just keep walking. He’s trying to get a rise out of you,” I said, praying they’d both just walk away. But Harry wasn’t done. In fact he was only getting started.

  “Yeah, I miss seeing her pretty little face around my apartment. She looks like she knows how to have a good time. Shit, she looks like she needs to have a good time. I could fix that.”

  Oh shit.

  Erik swung around, fingers curled into a fist, and slammed his knuckles square into Harry’s jaw.

  Harry stumbled back, holding onto the side of his face. “You fucking idiot!”

  “Come on, come at me. Only takes one person to call the cops. I can pass a drug test, can you?” I had never seen Erik so enraged before. It was a whole new side of him.

  “He’s a goddamn animal. Is this who you call your friends, Kris?”

  Erik jumped in front of me like a human shield. “No! You don’t have the right to speak to her anymore. You don't even have the right to look at her anymore. Now get out of here before we really have a problem.”

  Harry spit on the ground. It was hard to tell in the dark, but I think it was blood. This wasn’t happening. This was not really happening.

  The two men stared at each other, daring the other to move. I pulled Erik by the arm. “Come on. The last thing I need on my plate is you getting fired.”

  “So it’s like that?” Harry asked, his voice pleading.

  I shook my head. “Harry, I don’t know what it’s like,” I said sadly. “I just know we all need to part ways. Now.”

  Harry cursed and walked away in a huff. Erik leaned over and gave his hand a shake. Idiot! If he broke any of his fingers, Brit would kill me. Stupid artist needed his stupid fingers.

  We went into the kitchen, and I grabbed a clean dish towel and filled it with ice for Erik’s hand. His knuckles were already puffing up. “Did you really have to hit him that hard?”

  “Yes, I did.” He looked disgusted.

  “Geez, I can’t imagine if a guy really said something racy to Brit. You’d probably snap his neck.”

  Erik exhaled, long and slow. He was still seething with anger. “I didn’t just hit him because of Brit. You’re one of my closet friends, Kristen. I can’t see you in this much pain.”

  I placed the ice on his knuckles and kissed his forehead. “You relax, I got your tables.”

&nbs
p; “You just want my tips,” Erik joked.

  “You know it. I almost have enough to buy coffee from Starbucks!” I winked, knowing my little jest would kill him. He took such pride in this little coffee shop.

  When I went back into the main room, I saw many customers were looking around, the tables obviously neglected. I didn’t know where to start first. I wasn’t exactly the best waitress they had on staff. But I started in the corner and worked my way around, determined not to make any customer unhappy tonight. The last thing I needed was more drama.

  Brit took a break, and as she hopped off the stage, she made a bee-line in my direction. Great. Time to tell her what had gone down. She looked around the room, searching for her knight. “Where’s Erik?”

  “In the kitchen.” I pointed to the back. “He needed to put ice on his hand.”

  “Ice? Why? Did he burn himself?”

  “No, because he punched Harry in the face out back,” I said with a fake smile.

  “What?” she shrieked and darted to the back before I could stop her. I was so happy my manager had gone home early. Way too many emotions going on at the coffee shop tonight. It was like a freaking soap opera. I’m sure Brit and Erik would have amazing sex later where she gushed about how heroic he was and gave him a blow job to ease his pain. Ugh.

  I was right. Brit drove and dropped me off at home. Only me. “You’re not staying?” I don’t know why I asked. I already knew the answer. The horny express had just pulled into their station.