In My Dreams (First Tracks Book 2)

by Kristen James

That hospital cot couldn’t be very soft. It looked even worse than the bed I slept in, and that was saying a lot.

  “You can’t be that comfortable either.” She wiggled around some more, I think turning over to face my direction.

  “Yeah, but you don’t have to be stuck here and not sleeping.”

  “Why not?” she asked. “I don’t mind. It’s really not any better being in a room with mom and dad. You know dad snores like a chainsaw on crack. Ca-ca-ca-ca.” She made a horrible, nasally dying sound that sent us both into snorting laughter.

  It was true. He could wake a vampire during the daylight hours.

  When I calmed down, I asked, “Why not get your own room?”

  “Marcus, I’m fine. It’s not the bed. My mind won’t slow down.”

  I chewed on that for a couple of minutes. “Yeah, my mind does that too.”

  “Seems like you’d do it even more.”

  “Uh?” I rolled onto my side, folding my good arm under my head. A few lights in the room blinked and I could almost make her out. I sensed her more than saw her though. Sometimes it’s nice to sit in the dark and talk to someone. “Cause I’m in this bed and having trouble?”

  I’d been working my ass off in therapy, putting in the same energy and dedication I put into snowboarding. It was paying off. Slowly paying off. It wasn’t the instant gratification of creating and landing a new trick but I was getting there. Jen didn’t comment for a while.

  “Because you were in Avery’s head for a long time. You said all you had were your thoughts, right?”

  “Yeah, kinda.” I sighed, moving again so I could try to scratch inside the cast. Damn this stupid thing. It was supposed to come off soon. I was getting more and more control back too. I even drew a picture of Avery today. I just didn’t get to talk to her.

  I wondered what was going on with her and school and her friends. And Kyle—had he talked to her again? Had he really changed his ways and left her alone? Or was he chasing her again? Chasing her still?

  “Marc?”

  “Yeah?” I sounded distracted and instantly knew she could tell that too.

  “I can practically hear your mental gears churning over there.”

  “Just thinking about Avery… You don’t think Dad is right, do you?” Until I said those words, I had no idea that they’d gained any weight in my mind.

  “What the hell, Marcus.” She either sat or leaned up. “Did you lose your balls in the accident?”

  I was too shocked to laugh. Good joke though.

  “Dude, seriously, Dad’s been freaked out and talking out his ass. You know better than to listen to that.” She scoffed and flopped back on her bed.

  We were quiet for a while after that. I kept running things around, trying to go back and feel like I did when Avery and I were so close.

  “Some days, like today, I feel far away from her.”

  “That happens in relationships. You’ll get to see her soon and you’ll feel as close as ever.”

  Peace settled over me like a cool blanket on my chest.

  “You always know what to say and how to make me feel better, sis.”

  “We’re always there for each other, right?”

  “Right. And you should get back to your life and stop hanging around here.”

  She sighed. “I might. Eventually.”

  Suddenly I wondered if this was better than dealing with something else. Sure, I understood why she’d stayed here while I was in a coma, but now? What was she avoiding?

  “When you’re reading to talk…”

  “I know. But for now I just want to live in the moment and not think about the future. Well, not my future. I’m happy about your recovery.”

  I wished she was closer so I could grab her hand or even hug her. Sleepiness finally came and I closed my eyes. I thought about telling Jen goodnight but I slipped off into sleep too suddenly.

  Chapter Twenty

  Avery

  Was I dreaming? It did and didn’t feel like it as I looked at Tom and Elaina sitting together, his arm around her shoulders and his head resting against her. They were sitting in front of a window and I walked around to the side to see their faces. Elaina wiped a tear from under her eye before patting Tom’s hand on her shoulder.

  Soft light came in from somewhere, maybe the window, but it was hard to tell. I couldn’t even tell what kind of room they were in –the hospital or a hotel? The chairs were padded like the kind you see in hotels.

  “Hello?”

  They didn’t react, and I started to think I was dreaming, but why was I dreaming about them? This wasn’t anything like the other dreams, so maybe it was the normal, everyday kind of dream. I stepped closer, feeling like it was really them…

  Another chair sat close by, so I pulled it over and sat down with them. She closed her eyes and leaned against him too. I hadn’t seen them like this, so open and vulnerable.

  “Listen, I’d never do anything to hurt Marcus… I don’t know why you’re so worried, but I’m on his side.” I watched for a reaction and didn’t see anything but I kept talking anyway, telling them the real story of how Marcus and I met, how we didn’t get along, and how we changed each other. They didn’t look at me or talk, but they didn’t get up and leave either, so I just kept going.

  I’m not sure how long I talked; it felt like hours. I woke up some time later in a quiet, dark house. I wasn’t in bed. It took a couple of minutes to orientate myself.

  I had sat on the couch watching the candle until I fell asleep. Kris had gone back to her friend’s for one last night, and to get her stuff so she could come home. Guess Jazz went to bed too. It’ll be nice when Kris is here again, and then Dawn might come around more. We can start hanging out again. Man, I missed them.

  The closest clock was in the kitchen so I quietly made my way there. Eleven forty. I had planned to call Marcus. I lingered in the kitchen, just standing there in my indecision.

  Then I remembered I’m strong and decisive, and decided I would wait and talk to him tomorrow. The decision made me sad and yet I stuck with it. I grabbed a protein bar for a lazy dinner and got ready for bed.

  Once I was lying there, ready to go back to sleep, my mind woke up all the way. Great.

  “Marcus, I have so much to tell you,” I whispered. Just thinking about him made me ache, and my focus switched to us and our relationship. A few more days, and we could see each other. That helped and hurt at the same time. How on earth could I need him so much? It made me wonder. If this was love, why did people do it? Wouldn’t it be easier to not need anyone?

  But I couldn’t help this if I tried, and I don’t want to. I want him. Need him. Love him. I still felt like he was a part of me even though he wasn’t here, whispering in my brain.

  But somehow I would need to figure out how to live my life, and be me, and find myself and my goals and dreams… I sighed and rolled over, my brain on a crazy spin roll thinking of Marcus, Jazz, Nash… and my dad for some reason. I used to think of my mom all the time and miss her like crazy. I’ve been too angry at my dad to think straight about him.

  But the strangest thing is connecting in my brain. If Nash could suddenly understand my situation and forgive me, maybe I could try it? Maybe I could forgive my dad and let go of the anger?

  That was a scary thought.

  There was no way I could fall asleep with so many tracks running in my head, but oddly I felt myself falling and swirling in that lovely decent.

  I woke up on the board—flying downhill fast.

  I gasped and heard Marcus laugh, long and loud and happy. It took a few seconds to orientate myself, but it was a few good seconds as I saw the pristine powder under us, the snowscape ahead as it flattened out, and then the gray steel sky up ahead.

  Why are we running away?

  What are you talking about, babe?

  I don’t know…

  I just got this feeling we’re running away from something. Not a real danger behind us here, but something el
se. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

  Don’t we come here to escape life for a few?

  We were doing riddles tonight. I pulled in a breath of crisp, cold air and let the charged molecules energize me. I wanted to feel new. I wanted to relax and enjoy this. But there was something…

  Oh! I have to tell you about Nash.

  Yeah?

  Marcus was totally into the curves. We were taking a slow casual decent.

  Nash isn’t mad at me anymore. He knows. He believes now.

  Really? I’m surprised. He’s so serious and analytical.

  Jazz talked to him and something happened.

  It all came to mind and Marcus followed, seeing what I saw and remembering it with me.

  Stranger things have happened…

  Like us?

  We slowed to a near stop and both of us plopped into a snowdrift on our backs. Marcus rolled to face me and reached out to grab me and pull me closer.

  His hair was longer right now, the way I imagined it before when he was in my head, and both his arms were fine. He gazed into my eyes with a tenderness that left me speechless. Defenseless.

  “I want you so bad,” he whispered, his gaze dropping to my mouth.

  “I want you too.” I lifted my head, trying to reach him.

  “I want you in real life, the real me, when I’m healthy.”

  “You are healthy.” I took his face in my hands. “You’re perfect.” Then I pulled him close.

  Before he kissed me, he said against my lips, “This weekend, Ave. I’m having you this weekend. I’m going to make love to you for hours.”

  When his lips finally did touch mine, I thought, this will do just fine for now.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Nash

  Hindsight is twenty-twenty. God, I hate that expression. It’s like people want to be lazy and not think things through, and then later they can just blame it on inexperience. And that’s exactly what I did wrong with Avery: I didn’t really peruse her and then, later on, I realized that’s what she either wanted or needed. I was too polite and didn’t fight for her. But that might not have mattered, since it seems that fate intervened.

  Fate. I pulled my sleeve up and glanced at the ink stain on my arm again. Jasmine was close by and I would find her.

  But my whole point with this is that I’m not making the same mistake again. I learned my lesson. I’m not going to pretty-please my way around with Jazz.

  I spotted her up ahead, and picked up my pace, dodging around a few people to reach her.

  “You can’t avoid me forever,” I said as I walked up behind her. God, this woman was beautiful and mysterious and seriously sexy.

  She looked up at me with those dark eyes but didn’t appear surprised to see me. Actually, she probably felt me coming. I’d been feeling her for the last few days, ever since we talked.

  We matched each other’s pace and walked in silence, turning to leave the crowded walkway. She held a couple of her books against her chest even though she had her backpack on.

  “It takes me a while to get used to things,” she finally said.

  “I did notice that.”

  “And to just accept things if it seems like I don’t have a choice.”

  I turned to her. “Of course you have a choice.”

  “Do I?”

  I gave her a look—it wasn’t one I’d usually give someone I didn’t know well, but I knew she could read it. She would understand and know I was checking her logic on that one. Sure, any logic we applied here would be different…but apparently we were different.

  I thought of the vine on my arm but jerked my thoughts away from it—what if she picked up on that? It’d really freak her out, if she thought fate was running the show.

  I glanced over her head at the windows behind us. Damn, we did go together. I was tall, dark and handsome. She was small and sexy and complicated. She turned and saw our reflections too. Something about our expressions—our eyes—completely matched. I even liked our skin tones together, my olive skin and her warm Japanese complexion.

  I touched her arm and guided her to a bench. Here we were again. She sat down at the same time as I did, and we were sitting close enough that she could lean into me.

  And she heard that. She looked up and gave me a small smile.

  “I said I needed some time to think it over…”

  “Even though this seems to be more about emotion,” I threw in.

  “And we don’t actually know each other.”

  “Which we could change.” I lifted my eyebrows at her. Her face broke into a smile, a beautiful, quick flash of a smile.

  “And we don’t know what we’re doing or what this is.”

  “And we can explore it and find out.”

  One side of her mouth tilted up, teasing and inviting. I didn’t hesitate. I learned down as she turned her face my way, and I kissed her. I meant to graze her lips quickly with mine, but instead I lingered and then teased her lips with my tongue. Her mouth felt so warm, so soft, so sensual. I wanted to spend hours in this first kiss, getting her to know her mouth.

  She gasped and pulled back.

  “Didn’t you want that?” I asked. I know she did.

  She shook her head, her gaze on my chest to avoid my eyes. “Yes, I did. But… Nash, we can’t go down this road.”

  “Why not? I’d say we already are.”

  She shook her head, looking away from me. “It completely messed things up for Avery.”

  “Wait.” I took her chin so she’d meet my eyes. “What are you saying? I messed things up for Avery?”

  “Oh, no, I mean the thing with Marcus did. She’s way behind in school and her life is a mess, and I don’t know if I want to willingly go through something like that. Something like this. I’ve already let a guy mess my life up. I don’t want to do it twice.” Jasmine glanced up, looking at me with regret in her eyes. “I won’t.”

  I felt red hot, consuming rage at whoever hurt her. It shocked me.

  I didn’t want to lose this chance. I didn’t want to lose her before we even tried.

  “Jazz, look at this.” I pulled my sleeve up and showed her the vine.

  She glanced between the design and my face several times, confused at first, then curious. “Nice, did you draw it?”

  “No. I don’t know how it got there.”

  Her eyes narrowed, her lips forming a question. Then she shook her head again and started to get up. I touched her arm—softly—but she hesitated.

  “It showed up while we were talking the last time.”

  “How?”

  “This magic we’re sharing, I guess. It put it there because of you.”

  She straightened and stared at me. “You just said we did have a choice in this, but then you’re showing me that?” Jazz took a step back and turned to face away.

  Did we have a choice? It didn’t matter to me. I wanted her.

  She looked at me so sharply I could tell she heard that.

  “No.” She said the word softly, and somehow that made it echo even louder in my mind. She walked backwards for several steps before turning around and taking off.

  So it’s not going to be easy.

  I watched how far Jazz made it before glancing back at me. It was that glance that told me not to give up.

  It won’t be easy but she’s worth it.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Avery

  Marcus was sitting up on his bed when I entered, dressed in a gray T-shirt and long black sports sweats with a white line running down the leg. His hair looked nice. He looked nice. Hot. Happy. Relaxed.

  He grinned at me, the white of his teeth flashing and making my heart skitter around. His eyes gleamed like he had a secret, like a little boy waiting for me to notice something. Oh!

  “Your cast is off!”

  “Yeah.” He rose and stepped toward me, almost in slow motion. I watched as he walked up to me and gazed down into my eyes. Damn, it felt nice to look up at him.


  He took my face in both his hands and leaned down to kiss me softly and quickly on the lips.

  “Mmmm.”

  “Hmm, hmmm,” he agreed, then pulled back and looked at me with his melt-my-heart warm amber brown eyes. I smiled and stretched up to kiss him, and as soon as our mouths met, he teased mine open with his tongue.

  This wasn’t the sweet hello kiss I’d expected. But it’s what I suddenly wanted very much.

  His hands wound into my hair, pulling my head back, his tongue taking over my mouth. His other arm pulled me against him, and I finally got to feel both of his arms wrapped around me, claiming me, holding me close.

  He felt back on his game. Before this, Marcus had only kissed me like this in our dreams. Now… Wow…

  His hands slid down my back and over my hips, then he pulled me closer in a quick motion.

  “Mm!” I made a quiet noise before I could stop myself.

  His hand came up my back and to my hair again, playing with it, sinking his fingers into my strands. It’d been so long since anyone did that, it undid me. I went limp against him as he kissed me. His hand slid deeper into my hair to cradle my head, and he kissed his way to my ear.

  My head leaned to one side and his mouth found the soft skin on my neck. He kissed softly up my neck, then nibbled.

  Marcus straightened, and I finally opened my eyes to look at him again. He watched me back, playing with my hair and then fixing it, twisting strands like he knew what he was doing. His hands felt so nice in my hair…on my arms…on my stomach as one slid up to graze over my breast. My body silently screamed, dying, needing.

  “So nice… touching with both hands like this, nothing in the way.”

  “Oh, I know,” I breathed.

  My eyes must have said it all too. Marcus stepped back, took my hand and led me to the bed to sit down with him.

  “We’re going to get ourselves too excited…and someone could walk in.”

  I pulled in a cleansing breath, and he could probably hear how much I needed him right in that second.

  “See, we made it through the week,” he said with a big smile, and maybe fake bravado, as he nudged my chin.