Loving Mr. July

by Margaret Antone

  “Hah.” Cynthia gave a mirthless laugh. “I don’t think so. I’ve tried wearing my sexiest things. My killer red dress, you know, the one you told me shows off my boobs? But does he notice? No, I might as well be a stick of furniture. And then there’s all the little touches.” Cynthia was on a roll now. “When we’re at the gym, does he show me how to lift weights by demonstrating like a regular person? No! With me, he’s got to wrap his arms around me, practically hug me on the floor. I leaned into him once, just to see what he’d do. He immediately stepped away. And when I do the free weights, he’s forever correcting my positions, moving my arms, putting his hand on my waist. And he smells fantastic and—”

  Sharon’s peal of laughter made her stop talking to look up.

  “I’m baring my soul here and you’re laughing?” She started to rise in a huff.

  Sharon stilled her with a light touch. “Oh Cynthia.” She managed to talk in between taking breaths and laughing some more. “If you could just hear yourself.”

  “What?”

  “You’re describing a man who is putting all kinds of moves on you. And you don’t even see it.”

  “He is not,” Cynthia said crossly. “If you saw his face when all this is happening, you would know what I mean.”

  “And I bet you haven’t once given him any indication that you’re attracted, right? I mean, I wouldn’t have known, based on my observations of you around him, except that you’ve just told me differently.”

  “Well no,” Cynthia admitted. “But that’s different. I mean most guys would try something.”

  Sharon shook her head. “Only oafs who aren’t all that good at reading boundaries will move on a woman who hasn’t given at least an inkling of interest. And Kurt has had enough experience to know.”

  “What experience?” Cynthia scoffed. “Every woman I’ve ever seen throws themselves at him.”

  “My point exactly.” Sharon topped off their coffees. “Think about it. Any other woman who he makes that much physical contact with would probably have given him ten flashing green lights by now.”

  “You think he was waiting for my encouragement?” Cynthia stared at Sharon, incredulous.

  “It’s a theory.”

  Cynthia started laughing. “It’s a ridiculous theory. The guy can have any girl he wants. Why would he want a fat woman with issues?”

  “Okay, now you’re making me mad,” Sharon said. She got up circled the kitchen, blew out a few breaths, and came back to lean over the table. “I know you had a crappy childhood. I know it’s taken you a while to learn how to deal with it. But hiding behind the ‘I’m fat’ thing is getting old. As Kurt’s helped you prove, one of the big contributors to the whole weight thing has been your distinct aversion to exercise.”

  She scowled and put up a hand when Cynthia tried to say something. “Let me finish. I know you’ve eaten your feelings. I get that. And I’m not saying you didn’t have reason to. And I know you’re short, so you can’t eat as much as us taller people. But at some point, you need to deal with the hand you’ve been given and figure out how you want to live. You don’t have any medical conditions. Yet.” She gave Cynthia a warning glance.

  Cynthia remained silent.

  Sharon raised her hand, started counting on her fingers. “You’re smart. Funny. Loyal. Good-hearted. Pretty.”

  Cynthia shook her head.

  “Don’t argue with me.” Sharon jabbed a finger in Cynthia’s arm. “You’re a whole lot more hung up on the whole weight thing than anyone else is. If it’s such an issue to you, do something about it. If not, then shut up about it.” She sat down, blew out a breath. “And I’m telling you this because you’re my best friend and if I’m not honest with you, no one will be.”

  Cynthia felt tears coming to her eyes. “Been bottling that one up for a while, have you?”

  “I’m sorry, Cyn.” Sharon looked distressed.

  Cynthia got up and walked around the table to hug her friend. “Don’t be. Because you’re right. I don’t have any medical or other excuse to stay fat. These last couple of weeks with Kurt have shown me more than ever that it’s a numbers game. Strictly calories in, calories out. I have been making excuses. And I know you care.”

  Sharon nodded, weeping a little.

  “And, uh, Sharon,” Cynthia said, peering intently into her friend’s face, “is it possible you’re pregnant?”

  “What?” Sharon swung her head around to stare at Cynthia.

  “Just a thought, because I’ve never seen you so moody as you’ve been the last couple of weeks. And you don’t normally devour three Danish either.”

  “Oh my gosh!” Sharon raised a hand to cover her mouth. “I never even considered, but yeah, it has been a while since my last…Oh my gosh. I nearly bit Blake’s head off this morning too. And now you. And…Oh my gosh.”

  Cynthia started laughing. “Relax Hon. Before you start hyperventilating, let’s go get a kit and make sure. I take it you never even considered the idea?”

  Sharon put a hand on her stomach and shook her head.

  “So let’s go to the store.” She started to grab her purse.

  “No, wait.” Sharon stilled her with one hand. “First I want to know what you’re going to do about Kurt.”

  Cynthia shrugged. “What’s to do?”

  “Oh, c’mon, Cynthia. You know how to go about attracting a man. You’ve always been far better at it than me.”

  “Yeah, that’s why you’re married and I’m not,” Cynthia said.

  “You’ve had far more offers than I had,” Sharon reminded her. “But don’t try to get me off track. I’m not going to the drugstore with you until you tell me your plan. And you know you want to know if you’re going to be a Godmother.”

  Cynthia sighed, sat down. “I don’t have a plan.”

  “You mentioned wearing the red dress, what else have you worn around him?”

  Cynthia started laughing. “You don’t want to know.”

  “That good, huh?”

  “Uh, uh. That bad.” Cynthia thought about some of the crazy workout outfits she’d worn. “You’re not going to want to hear this.”

  Sharon raised one eyebrow, waited.

  Cynthia sighed. It was a wonder Kurt hadn’t disowned her immediately at the gym. “Initially I thought that if I drew attention to myself, Kurt would be so embarrassed, he’d give up on the idea of us working out together.”

  “You’re right, I didn’t want to hear this. You’re making me mad again.”

  Cynthia started giggling. “Oh Sharon, if you could have seen his face the first day. I was wearing this bright yellow, and I mean bright yellow spandex outfit that was a size too small. It highlighted every roll on my body.”

  Sharon stared at her. “You, the woman who always wears black to workout? Although I admit I’ve never been certain whether that’s because you’re in mourning over having to workout or because you think it makes you look slimmer.”

  Cynthia narrowed her eyes. “Not nice. Anyway, yes, I bought the most garish, worst fitting spandex outfits you’ve ever seen. A whole rainbow of choices.”

  “And Kurt?”

  “Other than the first morning when he asked if I was worried he wouldn’t see me in the fog, hasn’t batted an eye.”

  Sharon gave a shout of laughter. “Oh my gosh, he’s more of a gentleman than I thought.”

  “Apparently.” Cynthia nodded, laughing with her. “The thing is, now most of those outfits are getting too big.”

  “Good! You’ll have a reason to buy more sedate ones now.”

  Cynthia shrugged. “I guess. Although I don’t see that what I wear matters all that much.”

  “Humor me, okay?” Sharon got up, started stacking the plates in the dishwasher. “For the next few days, do whatever you can to look good around Kurt. And if he does the touchy thing, do it right back. Show him you’re interested. See what happens.”

  “I don’t know, Sharon,” Cynthia said, slowly. “I haven’t
felt like this about anyone in a long time, maybe ever. It would really hurt to be rejected.”

  “Harder to live your whole life wondering what if.” She cleared the last of the dishes.

  “You got a point. I’ll think about it.” Cynthia poured out the rest of the coffee. “And now we’re going to the drugstore.”

  Chapter 9

  “What do you say we take a break tonight and do something different?” Kurt asked the question the moment Cynthia reached the top of the stairs in his house the following Friday.

  He was waiting for her, something new. Cynthia didn’t think he’d ever made it home before her. Or made it to his house before her, she corrected in her mind. It would only be a recipe for heartache to start thinking of his house as home, even if these last three weeks she’d been pretty much living there. It was temporary. She had to remember that.

  “Thought up some new way to torture me?” Cynthia put her purse down on the table and walked over to the refrigerator to put away the groceries she’d brought up. It had been a long week. In reality, all she wanted to do was sit on the deck with a glass of wine.

  Kurt followed her into the kitchen. He leaned a hip against the counter, waited until she straightened from the fridge and surprised her by brushing the hair away from her face with a light touch. “Hard week?”

  “Do I look that bad?” Cynthia stepped back, not wanting Kurt to know how much he affected her.

  Kurt let his hand drop from her face. “Why do you do that?”

  Cynthia what he referred to without asking. “Habit I guess. If you put yourself down first, whatever anyone else says doesn’t seem as bad.”

  Kurt shook his head. “We have some work to do with you, my friend.”

  Cynthia shrugged. His friend. She had to remember that. She was just a friend.

  “How about we take Lucky out for a leisurely walk along the beach?” Kurt asked.

  “Leisurely,” Cynthia repeated. “As in my leisurely or your leisurely?”

  Kurt laughed. “I’d say your leisurely, but I think Lucky may have some say in the matter, at least until we get to the leash-free area.”

  Lucky was already going nuts at the mere mention of the word ‘walk,’ running back and forth between Kurt and the closet where he kept her leash.

  Cynthia looked down at the long silk maxi skirt she had donned that morning. “I guess I should change into my workout gear.”

  “No. Leave what you have on. You look beautiful,” Kurt said, and immediately turned around to rummage in the closet, giving Cynthia a chance to hide her surprise at his words.

  He emerged with a couple of pairs of rather sad looking flip-flops. At Cynthia’s raised eyebrows, he grimaced then grinned. “I know. They’re pretty bad. But I don’t think your heels are going to cut it on the sand. And we only need these to get down to the surf line anyway.”

  As Cynthia took the flip-flops from him, she noticed for the first time what Kurt was wearing. Instead of the usual crisp business attire he always came home in, Kurt wore faded Levi’s, and a soft Hawaiian shirt, open at the neck. He’d come home much earlier than usual, apparently.

  She slipped off her heals, grateful to stretch her calves after a long day of standing on her feet. The flip-flops were way too large for her, and looked completely incongruous with the flowing silk, not to mention her ‘Crazy for Coral’ pedicure. She preceded Kurt and the straining Lucky down the stairs and out onto the beach sand.

  They walked in companionable silence up to the northern end of the beach, already full of dogs and their owners.

  Because it was high tide, and there was less sand to walk over, Kurt offered Cynthia a hand over the rocks at the edge of the dog run area, where the water from the marshlands drained into the surf. He held onto her hand longer than necessary, acting like it was the most natural thing in the world to be holding her hand as they walked toward the other dog owners.

  With her heart beating a mile a minute, and feeling like a high school girl with her first crush, Cynthia took a peek at his face. He looked forward, toward Lucky, and lightly whistled a song she didn’t recognize.

  She wanted to draw him closer, give him a hug, but uncharacteristic shyness held her back. He wasn’t being romantic with her, she told herself. He probably didn’t even realize he still held her hand. A few moments later when he abruptly dropped it, accepted a slobbery, wet tennis ball from Lucky and threw it far out in the water for the dog to fetch, Cynthia breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t embarrassed herself. Nope, Sharon had it all wrong, he wasn’t making moves on her. He was just a tactile sort of guy.

  After what seemed like the hundredth time that Kurt threw the ball for Lucky, he glanced over at her. “You want to head back?”

  Cynthia looked down at the panting dog at their feet. “She all tuckered out?”

  “Oh no,” Kurt said, laughing. “She can do this forever. But my arm is sore.” He gave her a sheepish grin. “Too much weight lifting, I guess.”

  Cynthia smiled. She picked up the slimy, sand-covered ball. “Then I guess I should have a go at it for a bit.” She threw the ball a hard as she could, but it landed a much shorter distance away than when Kurt had thrown it. “I need one of the ball flinger thingies.”

  Kurt gave her a wicked grin. “Sounds a little kinky.”

  Cynthia rolled her eyes and tried to give him a playful punch in the arm. “Get your mind out of the gutter, buddy. You know what I meant.”

  Kurt ducked away, laughing. “I have one. Just forgot to bring it this time.”

  After a few more throws, they gathered Lucky and headed back toward Kurt’s home.

  “So,” Kurt began after they’d walked a bit. “You game to do some marketing consulting for RentBro?”

  Cynthia looked up in surprise. “I thought you guys had a pretty solid department there?”

  Kurt lifted his brows. “You checked up on that too?”

  Cynthia shrugged and let out a little laugh. “I went to school with your marketing director, Bob.”

  “Of course you did,” Kurt said, his lips curving. “Before I go any further, maybe I should ask how many people do you know at RentBro?”

  Cynthia put a finger to her chin and thought for a moment. “Your marketing director, your company lawyer, Blake, of course, and I’ve met Blake’s assistant, Ethel.”

  “Before or after the newsletter switch?”

  “Classified information.” Cynthia gave him a teasing grin.

  Kurt’s lips twitched in response. “Okay, I’ll let that one go. Back to the marketing. We need some fresh ideas. Have any interest in taking a look at what Bob’s put together and maybe giving us some feedback as to what might be improved?”

  “Wouldn’t Bob be a little offended?” Cynthia shivered in the evening breeze.

  In a casual motion, Kurt slung his arm around her shoulder, drawing her close, rubbing her arm with his hand. “Bob knows his own strengths and weaknesses. Ninety-five percent of the job, he does exceedingly well, particularly executing campaigns. It’s just the creative spark he struggles with.”

  Cynthia snuggled closer to his warm body, but couldn’t bring herself to put her arm around his waist, so she awkwardly laced her fingers together in front of her body. She tried to act perfectly casual when she responded. “That’s my favorite part.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  “Have you now?”

  Kurt chuckled at the haughty tone in her voice. “You’re not the only one who does their homework.”

  Cynthia decided to let the comment pass. “Sure, I’d be interested, as long as I’m not offending anyone. The bigger question for me though, is why you, as the CFO are even concerned with this part of the company? Shouldn’t Blake as the CEO be driving marketing?”

  Kurt sighed. “In a normal company, yes. But at RentBro, Blake is CEO in name only. He’s also Chief Technical Officer. And to be honest, that’s mostly what he does, develop technology. He leaves all the business stuff to me.”<
br />
  “So why aren’t you CEO?”

  “Historical reasons, mainly. Blake was better known when he first put the company together, so the initial investors wanted him to run it. Now the board of directors just gets technology updates from him. They look to me for the running of the company.”

  “No wonder you work so much.” Cynthia thought about all the nights he sat on his computer, typing away after one of their workouts. “Doing both the CFO and the CEO jobs must be pretty tough.”

  “I’ve got a great controller I plan to promote soon,” Kurt told her, stopping to pick up a rare sand dollar. He turned it over. Finding no cracks, he handed it to Cynthia. “He’s really good, but he was so young, I didn’t think the board would go for me handing him the reins earlier. So I’ve groomed him into the position, given him as much time as possible in front of the board. They are fully behind him now, which means I’ll be able to take over Blake’s position officially soon.”

  “And knowing Blake, he’s probably thrilled with the idea.” Cynthia tried to ignore the feel of his fingers doing an idle dance on her neck. A peek at his face confirmed that Kurt gazed straight ahead, his face almost pensive. He probably didn’t even realized what he was doing with his fingers, Cynthia convinced herself.

  “Couldn’t be happier,” Kurt agreed. “Leaves him more time to tinker in the lab.”

  Near his front door, he casually removed his arm from her shoulders, unlocked the door for her and led Lucky over to the outdoor shower. “I’ll be up in a bit, after I wash her down.”

  She tried to catch his eye, understand his mood, but he didn’t so much as give her another glance. Cynthia bit her lip and headed up the stairs to make dinner. Had she blown it? Was he trying to make a move on her and gave up because she didn’t respond? She didn’t know what to do, or why she felt so shy around him when that wasn’t the case with anyone else. But Sharon was right, if she didn’t try, she might live her life regretting.

  As she chopped the vegetables and got the chicken ready for Kurt to barbeque, she made a promise to herself. The next time she had a chance, she was going to make a move and see what he did.